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Post by Odin Balfore on Jun 20, 2014 23:24:02 GMT -5
RP: In Hopes It Would Carry Me Home ( 2 of 2 ) Handler: Colin Overview thoughts: overview thought is amazed. your shoot has improved a lot RP Breakdown Scene description: 3 Character Development: 3 Shoot: 5 Flow: 5 Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 Critical Review: You broke 1 RP into 2 promos. I can see why you did that but your descript and your CD fall short because they arnt connected to anything else. If this was 1 piece, you'd have killed it this week. To give my opinion, you should have kept it a single thread because only 1 rp counts for Slam! matches. That right there is the only down fall I can see for this piece. Everything else looks solid and the more you work at this level ( or with people of a higher skill set.) you'll get better. You may have done yourself in but splitting it up but both promos are great promos and you've come a long way with shoot. Theres not much to be critical on, as you have a very good promo here and its a good read all around with no glaring issues. Suggestions: none |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2014 16:14:57 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2014 4:19:27 GMT -5
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Post by Dr. Remus Micayle on Jun 22, 2014 6:54:58 GMT -5
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Post by Doc Henry on Jun 22, 2014 16:54:12 GMT -5
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Post by Jayson Price on Jun 22, 2014 21:20:52 GMT -5
I'd love Odin's take on my RP for this week.
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Post by Alex Richards on Jun 22, 2014 23:10:31 GMT -5
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jun 23, 2014 9:58:42 GMT -5
This might be an extra day or so before I can start on reviews. A bug or sumthin bit my eye ( my actual eye ball ) and my eye is swollen shut. This was yesterday and its still not fully recovered. I'm going to get an eye path and hopefully get back in business.
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Post by Alex Richards on Jun 23, 2014 10:20:34 GMT -5
damn, hope you're feeling better soon. That's some shitty luck right there.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 12:15:38 GMT -5
Oh no that's wretched >  I hope you're feeling better soon hon |
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Post by Jayson Price on Jun 23, 2014 17:26:33 GMT -5
I'm going to get an eye path and hopefully get back in business. The pirate business? ARE WE GETTING PIRATE ODIN?!?! |
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jun 23, 2014 17:41:19 GMT -5
That might be more bad ass than WCF can handle
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Post by Jayson Price on Jun 23, 2014 17:45:35 GMT -5
Do it and then deny you stole the idea from Fly. Mother fucker hates when people do that.  |
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jun 23, 2014 18:13:43 GMT -5
well.. I am a time traveling wizard...
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Post by Jay Omega on Jun 23, 2014 18:18:04 GMT -5
If memory serves me this time, I believe the Allfather gave up one of his eyes in exchange for knowledge, so, at least you're keeping in tune with the mythology.
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jun 24, 2014 14:20:50 GMT -5
Current Order of Review
Stacy
Ana
Remus
Doc
Price
Richards
Purse
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jun 24, 2014 16:14:42 GMT -5
RP: Trinity / Sequitus II Handler: Stacy Overview thoughts: ON/OFF CAMERA sandwich that was came off more development than match related RP Breakdown Scene description: 4 Character Development: 5 Shoot: 3 Flow: 5 Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 Critical Review: At this point, theres not much to say. You deliver the same quality week after week with good CD and descriptions. It's your shoot that moves on the level. Sometimes you have really good shoot and others, like today, you don't. A general overview of a characters thoughts on opponents isnt really shoot. It adds to the shoot and it a great start but you didn't go into too much detail after that Suggestions: - Try and Keep your shoot consistent |
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jun 24, 2014 21:11:26 GMT -5
RP: Over and Over Again Handler: Ana V Overview thoughts: A strong mix of CD and shoot that keeps the promo going RP Breakdown Scene description: 5 Character Development: 5 Shoot: 5 Flow: 5 Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 Critical Review: This promo is right on the money. I'm diggin' the style for Ana. It really works. I feel for the character. I follow the character you pace it all very nicely. You put all your description into your narration which is fine. you executed that very well through out the piece. The shoot that you pulled against Terry was just HOT. You had a lot of good lines and you kept working diffrent angles and letting us cool off in some character development then tossed us right back into the shoot. Even though you didnt block things out in sections, you didnt need to. You really knock this promo out of the park Keep up the god work Suggestions: Keep doing you. Hit your stride and keep going. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2014 10:29:54 GMT -5
As always much appreciated - glad to see the flow fix worked by eliminating some of the more stalwart wording and trying to integrate everything into one theme  Thanks again x |
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jun 25, 2014 17:30:47 GMT -5
RP: True Depth of Depravity Handler: Remus Overview thoughts: Remus just stole Paul Levesques Shovel RP Breakdown Scene description: 5 Character Development: 5 Shoot: 5 Flow: 4 Overall Rating: 4.5 out of 5 Critical Review: Where do I start? The very beginning was just gold. The entire piece was amazing. Thats A+ right there. It's championship material. You wrote a huge promo and it shows. you pulled it off pretty well but it had its slow spots. You do things like " he snorts" or " he pauses." to break things up but just having that three word break doesnt do much. A decent sized paragraph works better then a few sentence, line break, another few sentences. Some of it works like when you mentioned doing it for dramatic pause but it doesnt work in all instances. Having a lot to say sometimes is too much. There isnt anything more to say. You have Remus well developed and he just goes off but sometimes scaling back a tad might benefit him. Suggestions: None. You're kickin ass. |
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Thanks again x