Post by Dr. Remus Micayle on Jun 22, 2014 6:52:48 GMT -5
The Subjects
Steve Orbit. Current WCF World Champion in his second reign. Former WCF United States Champion, WCF Tag Team Champion, WCF Television Champion. Longest WCF United States Championship reign in WCF history.
Jayson Price. Current Number One Contender to the WCF World Championship. Former WCF World Champion, WCF United States Champion, WCF Hardcore Champion, WCF Tag Team Champion, WCF Television Champion, WCF Peoples Champion, and WCF Internet Champion. Only person in WCF history to hold every main title currently available.
Vulnerabilities detected in all both members. Common traits within the group include arrogance, thirst for approval, slight insanity, steroids consumption, and megalomania.
Blood tests (obtained through XIII) show several contagious sexually transmitted diseases present in his bloodstream, including syphilis, chlamydia, and candidiasis. This can be attributed to the high and unsafe sexual escapades used by The Mack in his various business ventures, where the five members of Pantheon are frequent regulars. Traces of anabolic steroids are also seen in the results, lending credence to the argument that all members of Pantheon are nothing more than narcotised, underhanded, amoral criminals who eagerly embrace illegal stimulants and substances to gain an edge over the rest of the wrestling world.
…
Notes
Through careful and precise field research, it is proven that without a shadow of a doubt, Orbit and Price are men with a murky personal life. Despite their shortcomings in contributing towards modern-day society and obvious low moral standards, it was always held that by and large, the two of them are able to function and blend in well in a crowd. All kinky fetishes hidden in the private corners of their sadistic, corrupt minds, never to be opened and shown to the general public.
Recent developments prove otherwise. And thanks to Team Science’s ingenious revelation, the whole world will now learn of the misdeeds of one Steve Orbit and one Jayson Price. We hoped that you, the viewer, have enjoyed and learnt more about the hidden lives of these two individuals. The videos - captured courtesy of yours truly - show obvious signs of mental instability, inexplicable rage towards women coupled with carnal obsessions bordering on the truly dangerous, and an overall lack of control over the most basic bodily functions. It can be assumed that you, the viewer, now know of the dangerous and inhuman hyenas that are the real Orbit and Price, rather than the jovial, merrymaking bunch of moronic hooligans they try to portray themselves as on national television.
We have had eye-witnesses. Men and women of staunch character and integrity who have absolutely no reason to lie to the American public. They are spectators, onlookers, and more often that not victims of these two sinister man-wolves. We have presented the facts. The statistics. The truth. And now… it is now up to you, the noble men and women who watch WCF Slam every Sunday night, to see if you wish to open up your eyes to the truth and for the first time in your forlorn lives, realise the foulness and ghastliness of Steve Orbit and Jayson Price. We have nothing to hide, unlike two very hideous members of Pantheon.
You may not believe us, and truth be told, I do not blame you. You may jeer us, boo us, perhaps even throw a banana peel or two at us, but it does not matter. You see, throughout the course of history, the truth-seekers have been persecuted and thought of as crazy witches. Galilei, Mandel, Zweig - all unfortunate fatalities of a time when thinking out of the box and exposing what is wrong with the world is considered to be a crime worthy of death. It is an unfair deal thrusted upon us when all Team Science wants to do is to alert the world of the inhumanity and vileness of Orbit/Price. But alas! As men who have a greater calling in life than the pitiful rat race of 401Ks and the mortgage payments… we accept this fate. Possessing knowledge when someone else does not sparks nothing but envy, and we can do naught but to hope your eyes open before it’s too late.
To you, I say this. Before you down that Bud Light and throw it towards us on Sunday, think about this. We have uncovered the truth, and like it or not, it’s not going to go away. You may close your eyes and live in your delusional world where WCF superstars are truly the modern day Supermans of cable, so perfect that any notion of sin on their part is a fabrication of the most evil intent. No way that Orbit could be a sub who gets off on Asian girls peeing on his face! No way that Price actually did such a disgusting thing as rape! No way that the two of them are going to get hit by The Formula on Sunday before crashing to a defeat just before their showdown at Blast next week! No way! No way!
But unfortunately for you… it’s true. And here’s my message to you, dear viewers. Believe or not, it does not matter. The fact of the matter is that there are so many more people you could influence and save from if they knew the truth. The young boys and girls who gaze up to the stage and watch Doctor Remus Micayle and Nathan von Liebert in that ring, wishing that they could somehow fight against the sad lot they have in life and one day emulate the greatness of two men who have embraced the greatness that comes with knowledge. The pockmarked skinny teenager with incurable acne who instead of heading out to town and partying like any normal sixteen-year-old would do, chooses to stay at home and polish the chrome dome to ‘barely-there’ pictures of Ana Valentine and Marina Valdivia. Your neighbour’s second female cousin once removed, who idolises Pantheon to the point of actually wanting to obtain vaginitis and join Club Violet so that she could be within ten steps of Fly and co.
Do it for them, if for no one else.
They deserve to know what kind of people Jayson Price and Steve Orbit really are.
Primary threat detected.
- Alcoholic (al-k?-?ho?-lik, -?hä-): A person who frequently drinks too much alcohol and is unable to live a normal and healthy life : a person who is affected with alcoholism. A situation of, relating to, or caused by alcohol. Commonly contains alcohol. First Known Use: 1864.
Potential solution found.
- Stoning (?st?n-i?g): The act of hurling stones at someone, to kill by pelting with stones. To make hard or insensitive to feeling. To face, pave, or fortify with stones. To remove the stones or seeds of a fruit. To rub, scour, or polish with a stone. To sharpen with a whetstone. First Known Use: 13th century.
Application of solution in progress.
<Uploaded on wcf.com>
The camera rolls, with a gothic-looking title card appearing on the front screen. Micayle’s signature theme song, “The Stringless Violin” by Adagio plays along with it, as the words “Team Science” appear. Canned applause is heard as a highlight reel of Doctor Remus Micayle’s past glories are showcased to great effect. Every successful strike is shown, while those embarrassing incidents are edited away. This includes the WCF United States victory against the now-fired Ryan Rhodes, the win over The Shadow Demons for the WCF Tag Team Championships and the recent defeat of Alexander Richards last week.
Finally, after an uncomfortably long prelude, the video ends and the camera pans to an incoming Scientist, who’s walking with his arms outstretched towards the screen - obviously an attempt at fostering the television-viewer bond and creating the impression of friendliness. This mirrors his previous videos posted - the only difference between the last video and the current one is that Micayle is in the comfort of his own house, whereas he was in a car park the previous time round. Nonetheless, an icy-thin smile is on his face as he starts to speak. He is dressed in a smart-looking suit and tie, something that seems a little odd given that he is in his own house, but nevertheless, he looks good.
Doctor Remus Micayle: Welcome one and welcome all! Good morning to all of you ladies and gentlemen once again, and this is a Public Service Announcement, courtesy of Team Science. Today’s topic is… Steve Orbit and Jayson Price!
He strolls closer towards the camera.
Micayle: As many of you may know, Pantheon will be going up against Team Science this Sunday night at Slam for the WCF Tag Team Championships. This will be an exciting bout for all the watch, including the little children who are in Australia. Four of their favourite WCF fighters in the ring at the same time - and for the gold! Even myself, one-half the current WCF Tag Team Champions cannot wait to face my opponents this week. The match should be a good one, just in time to lead us into Blast next week. It’s truly an exciting time to be a fan and enjoy wrestling without all the controversy that often plagues our sport…
He pauses, shifting his body forward and staring into the camera, in a sombre mood.
Micayle: Or it WOULD have been, if it wasn’t for a discovery that I have made a couple of days ago with the aid of Nathan von Liebert and a few willing eye-witnesses. It saddens me to be the bearer of bad news, but I have bone-chilling news to share with the WCF Galaxy. And it involves my two opponents on Sunday.
Once again, he pauses for dramatic effect.
Micayle: Most people know me as one of the most honest, insightful, attractive, perceptive, and humble people on Earth, so it comes as no surprise that it falls to one as gifted as me to reveal the truth behind Steve Orbit and Jayson Price in this video. These two men are two of the most popular athletes in the entire federation, with fans buying out their merchandise fairly often. In fact, if I am not mistaken, Orbit’s latest ‘How To Set Up Your Own Brothel’ guidebook is the number one best-seller on the WCF.com webstore this week, while Jayson’s iconic graphic tee-shit of him flipping the bird at absolutely nobody in particular received rave reviews on eBay, Amazon, and ASOS. Fans love them, and for good reason, I must admit that.
Micayle points a finger at the camera.
Micayle: It has always troubled me at how ‘perfect’ Steve Orbit and Jayson Price appear to be on television. The two men have always shown their most perfect sides to all the viewers of WCF, and it just seems a little off at how they pander to the fans. It almost seems like a… facade of some sort, like they are trying to cover something up by playing extra-nice to the WCF Galaxy. It’s suspicious. And when Jayson Price started acting a little funny and befuddled the fans, it finally dawned upon me that he may not be as nice as some of the children think he is. And the same goes for our WCF World Champion, that sly ebony dog that he is.
He lowers the finger.
Micayle: And so! I’ve decided to play a little detective, snoop around a little into their personal lives in hopes of finding out who the real Steve Orbit and Jayson Price truly are. I don’t buy into the gimmicks they show on television, and I am sure more than a few fans within the crowd don’t as well. But search I did, and what I did find was something more surprising than what I could have ever envisioned!
He bows his head low, portraying an image of sadness and regret, before rearing his head up in righteous fury.
Micayle: Lo and behold, I can proudly proclaim right here and now that Steve Orbit and Jayson Price are by far the absolutely most DISGUSTING BEASTS I have ever had the misfortune of meeting in my life! You all know Orbit as a famous pimp, that’s for sure. But did you know that he’s a morbid porn addict who has an obsession with scat!? We all understand Jayson Price has a little misfortune when it comes to controlling his love for alcohol, true. But how do you explain him copulating with a young Doberman for no good reason?
Micayle stares fiercely into the camera.
Micayle: I knew something was up with Orbit and Price, and by Darwin, my suspicions were proven right. By a combination of hard work, luck, and my own prodigious talent, I have painstakingly worked all week on tracking down Orbit’s and Price’s personal lives. I have found two very reliable, honest, and helpful interviewees who have agreed to partake in today’s edition of Team Science P.S.A in order to bring two of Pantheon’s finest to justice! And what a day that would truly be indeed!
Micayle: A picture speaks a thousand words, and what I have for you today is worth much, much, more than one of Edgar Allan Poe’s original manuscripts, let me assure you of that. So! Without further ado, please allow me to bring up the first interviewee that I have found - albeit with much effort on my part - REVEREND STEVEN COLE!
The camera fades to black, before another video fades into screen. It is a recording of an interview that has taken place earlier in the week, as a time stamp at the bottom right of the screen pays tribute. It is not a very extensively decorated room, as Micayle’s personal apartment was. Instead, it almost seems like it was designed to feature the exact opposite. The small room is entirely white in colour, and the only thing in it is a table and a chair, with a middle-aged man seated in it.
The man is dressed in pastor robes and has a crucifix necklace draped over him. His hair is black speckled with traces of grey, and several wrinkles are present on his face. He seems a little twitchy, but generally, a healthy and fairly calm man of sound mind. Micayle’s voice booms out from the video. It is evidently an interview that focuses squarely on the reverend, with Micayle sitting out-of-frame in order to not distract the viewer.
Micayle: Please introduce yourself?
Reverend Steven Cole: I am Steven Cole. I am forty-eight this year, and I am the head cleric at Old St. Joseph’s Church.
Micayle: And please tell us what is the level of your association with Jayson Allen Price?
At the mention of Price’s name, the holy man’s face turns an ugly shade of coral. He starts gritting his teeth, almost as if he’s fighting the urge to go against his vows and curse at the top of his voice.
Reverend Steven Cole: About… two and a half months ago, a young man came into my church after Sunday service. I noticed him immediately, with him being as big as he was. He seemed like a jolly chap; muscular, a little scruffy beard that he didn’t shave, along with a slight limp. He looked like one of those athletes on Monday Night football, y’know, so I thought that he was here to pray for a quick recovery from a sprained leg or whatever he was suffering from so that he could go back to his game.
He’s speaking quickly, seeming like he wants to get whatever information that is in him out so that he can get the worst over and done with.
Micayle: So, that was when you spoke to him?
He shakes his head.
Reverend Steven Cole: No. Unfortunately, I was very busy that Sunday with some church logistics, so much that I could not even extract myself from the crowd to do the meet-and-greet session that I normally do to newcomers to our church. Instead, I got my wife - the loveliest woman you’ve seen and the most beautiful cook to boot - to welcome him instead. I thought that all would be fine, especially when she returned to the chapel ten minutes after with a highly positive impression of him.
Micayle: What did she say?
His countenance darkens once more.
Reverend Steven Cole: She told me that this Jayson Price claims to be a wrestler who is on a sabbatical. He had some demons he wanted to solve before returning to the ring, and thought that religion would be the way to go. I was intrigued. I mean, how often do you find a professional who’s currently on hiatus? I don’t watch WCF Wrestling, and neither does my wife, so we had no idea who he was at first. Which was very lucky for him, because if I did… I would have chased that son-of-a-gun out of the church with a broomstick the very day I saw him.
Micayle: Don’t we all. What happened next?
The pastor takes a deep breath, before continuing.
Reverend Steven Cole: So next Sunday, I see this big man again. Same old, same old. Walking with a limp, scraggly beard, didn’t talk much. I had a bit more time after the sermon, so I decided to talk to him instead. The custom is for the initiator of conversation - in this case my wife - to introduce me to him. But just on this fateful day, my wife wasn’t feeling very well, so she stayed at home to rest. Which on hindsight… was the best thing that ever occurred to our family.
He frowns.
Reverend Steven Cole: So anyways, I met him at where he was sitting and shook his hand. But upon grasping his hand, I immediately smelt this overpowering odour of stale alcohol. To be perfectly frank, I was more than a little shocked at this display. It’s the God’s day, where we gather to worship Jesus Christ our Saviour and Lord, and he comes in smelling like he just walked out of a bar?
Micayle’s reply was more than a little patronising.
Micayle: I am sure that Jesus Christ deserves a little more respect than that. He’s a deity, after all.
He didn’t seem to notice, however.
Reverend Steven Cole: Exactly! But that wasn’t the worst of it. I tried to hear what he was saying, but it seemed that he was only mumbling to himself. I moved in closer… and that’s when it happened.
The pastor hesitates for a brief second, before unbuttoning his shirt and showing his chest to the camera. Shockingly, his sternum is a blotchy dark red in colour and multiple scars run across the breastbone. Almost as if he was… burnt. Even the Scientist couldn’t hide his surprise.
Micayle: By Darwin’s name, what happened!
He smiles weakly.
Reverend Steven Cole: To be perfectly frank with you, I cannot remember it entirely. All I remember is him drunkenly pushing me to the ground and throwing an acid in a bottle over me. By God’s grace the majority of the liquid that was inside the bottle spilt on my chest, where I had the most clothing on. But still, the acid managed to burn through my robes, inner shirt, and even some of my flesh.
Micayle: That must have been bad.
Reverend Steven Cole: Excruciatingly. I passed out for a little bit, but not before screaming for help. When I came to, I remembered seeing my… chest.
He shudders uncontrollably.
Reverend Steven Cole: It was really bad. I was extremely weak, and I had to make it to a hospital somehow. Through God’s strength, I somehow managed to crawl out of the hall I was in and into the outside. I was so lucky that there was a church-goer who decided to linger a little longer after service. She immediately called 9-9-5, and I was saved.
He buttons up his robes, before looking back up at the camera.
Reverend Steven Cole: The doctor said it was a concentrated variant of hydrochloric acid. The type they use to clean out the drains, so it’s especially potent. I cannot imagine why he brought it to church for, unless it’s to assault someone. I assume he was targeting my wife, but for whatever reason… I do not know.
The man’s face is wretched. It’s clear that the assault tormented him in more ways than one. He takes another deep breath.
Micayle: Is that the last you saw of him?
Reverend Steven Cole: Heavens no! One night, about a week after I was released from the hospital, my wife and I were sleeping. At approximately three in the morning, I heard a disturbance in the garden. My wife heard it too, and she decided to go check it out as my body was still recovering from the acid. Mere minutes after she left… I heard her scream, and a man grunt.
Micayle: … grunt?
He nods.
Reverend Steven Cole: Almost as if he was having… y’know… sex. I immediately feared the worst and stumbled out of bed. I rushed to where she was still screaming, and to my shock…
He gulps. Tears of sorrow are in his eyes.
Reverend Steven Cole: There stood Jayson Price, naked as the day he was born and probably drunk to hell as well. He stood over my wife, a look of pure evil in his face. Naturally, I assumed that she was going to be… y’know… and yelled for him to stop. He didn’t seem to hear me, but my wife most certainly did. To my astonishment, she rushed over to my side.
He wipes his eyes.
Micayle: I don’t get it. She wasn’t the target?
The pastor shakes his head, rage in his expression once more.
Reverend Steven Cole: NO! I crept forward, determined to protect my wife to the best of my ability. And to my shock, I heard a howl and saw the bastard holding my Doberman in his grimy paws, his… his…
The culmination of emotions finally got to him, and the pastor starts sobbing uncontrollably. Only after a few seconds does he get himself together.
Reverend Steven Cole: I’ll remember that sight forever. My lovely dog, being violated so by a drunk whoreson in what must be the devil’s paradise. I immediately called the cops and tried to hide my wife away. We hid for a good… ten minutes, before I heard the sirens.
Micayle: You left your dog behind?
He stares sadly into the camera.
Reverend Steven Cole: You must understand that he probably had a hundred pounds on me. One punch and I would be out, and God knows what would have happened to my dear wife? I can still hear Lucy’s cries, and trust me when I say it’s going to the grave with me. It’s not a sound a man should ever hear in his life.
Micayle: I’m sorry.
Reverend Steven Cole: As am I… as am I.
The video fades into black, before Micayle fades back into screen with his P.S.A. He’s shaking his head in dismay.
Micayle: Not as if drinking and overindulging on alcohol isn’t enough, Jayson Allen Price had to go the extra mile and assault a poor innocent man? I mean - sure he’s a Christian and all theists deserve to die a painful death for their stupidity anyways - but not in this way and certainly not by a hypocrite like Price!
He raises an eyebrow in shock.
Micayle: And to sexually violate a dog!? That’s low. The SPCA has been notified of this barbaric treatment and will be looking into the matter, I can assure you of that. Lucy may have been put down as a result of you so brutally forcing yourself upon her, but I can assure all of you viewers that her death will not be in vain. Not if I can do anything about it. I am sure that once this video hits WCF.com and Seth Lerch hears of this, your Number One Contendership status will be stripped and you will be sent to prison, where your scumbag arse deserves to rot for the rest of eternity!
His expression grim, Micayle points towards the camera once more.
Micayle: Jayson Allen Price. A dog lover to the next level. I would have never guessed he’ll sink to such depths, but hey, I wouldn’t rule such crimes past the The South Street Deviant. I can only hope that he contract some sort of untreatable sexual disease from his blasted copulation with Lucy, and die a painful death.
He lowers his finger.
Micayle: But speaking of sexual diseases, I have a revelation about my next opponent. We all know Steve Orbit as a pimp who runs a successful franchise of brothels, but that’s merely the tip of the iceberg. Through an equally exhaustive search, I managed to find something rather… unpleasant about our WCF World Champion. What is it that plagues Orbit so? Stay tuned.
The camera fades into black as a replay of the Micayle/Caliban match starts playing, courtesy of WCF.com.
Secondary threat detected.
- Pimp (?pimp): A man who makes money illegally by getting customers for prostitutes. Commonly a criminal who is associated with, usually exerts control over, and lives off the earnings of one or more prostitutes. Probably akin to British dialect pimp small bundle of sticks, Middle English pymple papule, German Pimpf young boy, kid, literally, little fart, Pumpf, Pumps fart. First Known Use: 1701.
Potential solution found.
- Castration (ka-?str?-sh?n\): The removal of testes or ovaries: gelding, spaying. Inhibition of the function or development of the gonads by inadequate nutrition in worker bees, by the action of certain parasites, or by the use of synthetic hormones in domestic animals, called also alimentary castration. A depriving of vigour, the deletion of a part of (a text) especially for purposes of expurgation.Middle English castracioun, from Latin castration-, castratio, from castratus + -ion-, -io -ion.
Application of solution in progress.
The camera opens again as a small montage of Doctor Remus Micayle’s past achievements play. After an annoyingly long highlight reel, the man himself finally appears back on screen, fake ‘on-screen’ smile plastered on as he continues on his Public Service Announcement. The Scientist extends his hands out in welcome.
Doctor Remus Micayle: Welcome back to this Public Service Announcement, courtesy of Team Science. Today’s topic is… Steve Orbit and Jayson Price!
He puts his hands back down.
Micayle: Now, before the break, we found out that Jayson Price is nothing more than a drunk who breaks into his pastor’s home to sodomise his dog. He’s a disgusting son-of-a-bitch who should contract AIDS and die a painful, lesion-filled death, and I am sure that after witnessing that interview… you’ll agree.
He stares into the camera, a stern expression back on.
Micayle: But next up, I have incriminating evidence on our WCF World Champion. Steve Orbit, as you are well aware by now, is a pimp who operates and owns several highly profitable brothels. A man’s dream, if you ask any hot-blooded male except me. I prefer my girls virginal and eager to please only me, not a bunch of ugly horses. But I digress.
He folds his arms.
Micayle: As I said, anyone would say Orbit is living the man’s life. But is he really!? My next interviewee is someone who swears that she has seen Orbit at his most vulnerable, and claims that he is nothing less than a useless, gonad-less excuse of a boy. Who is she, and why you should listen to her? Well, the males might find this next figure familiar. Presenting to all of you viewers my next guest - LILY THAI!
Similar to the earlier video, the camera fades to black, before another video fades into screen. Not much has changed from the earlier film. Same old room, same old chair. The only difference is the human being sitting in it - and what a difference maker it indeed was!
Where Reverend Steven Cole once sat, now sat a Filipino sex bomb. Porn actress Lily Thai is sucking on a lollipop rather seductively as she winks at the camera. Unfortunately for the horny viewers, she is dressed rather casually in jeans and a polo tee. She rocks the hell out of them, but she’s still clothed. Micayle’s voice booms out from the video, and almost immediately, she takes the sweet out of her mouth and drops it on the ground.
Micayle: Please introduce yourself?
Lily Thai: Good morning! My name is Lily Thai, and I am a porn star!
She winks at the camera once more as her characteristically bright voice rings out musically. Micayle doesn’t sound impressed.
Micayle: Hmpf. And please tell us what is the level of your association with Steve Orbit?
Upon hearing the WCF Champion’s name, Lily Thai starts giggling uncontrollably. It goes on for quite a while, until finally she stops.
Lily Thai: Ha ha! Sorry about that, I just couldn’t stop thinking about the man. Now, I am an occasional stripper for his gentleman’s club - Club Violet. We had a few… encounters, and it never fails to thrill me at how adorable that little black man is whenever I have him begging me to give him more!
This interests Micayle.
Micayle: …more?
She nods.
Lily Thai: Mm-hm! I first danced at Club Violet about a year ago. It was really fun when Havana Ginger - you know, Orbit’s girlfriend - brought me over. We had a really good time and it’s a safe place, no drugs get forced upon you, the bouncers are legitimate bouncers, and it’s a pretty awesome working environment! I always went home happy and juicy!
A tinge of disgust fills Micayle’s voice.
Micayle: Uh huh. And how is Orbit involved again?
She smiles.
Lily Thai: As you might have guessed, being a porn star and being a pimp means you kind of get laid a lot. And occasionally, those two lines cross, and you end up having sex with the boss because the atmosphere just gets so… tensed.
The last word rolls off her tongue deliciously.
Lily Thai: But anyways, we ended up tearing each other’s clothes off. I was primed and ready to go, until…
She giggles again.
Lily Thai: I saw his micropenis! It was so cute! It was like what… half an inch fully erected?
Behind the scenes, Micayle stifles a soft laugh.
Lily Thai: Really! When I saw it, I couldn’t believe it either! I mean, a black man whose… gift is predominantly Asian, really!? I haven’t seen one that small since I was in grade school! But he was so cute, begging me to satisfy him.
She frowns.
Lily Thai: I was really confused as to how I could do it, until he explained what to do. It turns out that…
She brings a hand over her mouth, miming a whispered conversation.
Lily Thai: He wants me to go number two in his mouth as he slowly… plays the skin flute to it. Gross right! But hey, at least I’m being paid to do what I’m doing in the washroom everyday anyways!
She shrugs. Now, Micayle is really disgusted.
Micayle: Yikes. And… are you the only girl who does this to him? Or does his girlfriend do it too…?
She nods energetically. Damn those perky Asians.
Lily Thai: Not just me and Havana, but all of the girls in Club Violet! I’ve personally saw four of them take turns… clearing out with him one afternoon. It’s rather yucky, but hey, I’m not one to judge.
You can almost see Micayle shaking his head disdainfully.
Micayle: I agree. To each their own, eh? But a question here. Is Havana happy to entertain his… fetish? Or does she tolerate it only to stack her bank account?
Lily Thai: Oh, the second one silly! He earns too much to check his bank accounts! Do you think he’s the only guy that Havana dicked when they were together? I for one doubt she really likes him, but hey, it may be true. But nonetheless, all of her shopping expenses, boy toy splurges, affairs in five-star hotels were all paid directly from Orbit’s account! What a great guy, huh!
She sounds amused. But unfortunately, Micayle is not.
Micayle: Well, I do think that’s more than enough. Thank you.
The video fades into black, before fading back in to Micayle’s P.S.A. video. The Scientist is still standing in the centre of the room, and is looking positively furious at what he had just seen once again.
Micayle: You have seen what Jayson Price is capable of. Now, you’ve seen what Orbit does on a regular basis. Although it is not a crime per se, can you rest easy and look at him proudly, claiming that he is your WCF World Champion when you know that he has probably ate more waste matter in one night than you have expelled in a week? Can you admire him as a champion when all you can imagine the never-ending flow of urine that must have covered that face when he’s not at work? Can you!?
He takes a step forward.
Micayle: A man who’s whipped beyond measure by his girlfriend is a man who cannot be trusted to do big things in life. The severity of the crime just doubles when he is a pimp, who is supposed to control his women. How can it be that he is the one who is a puppet when by day, he runs the show in the WCF? It’s truly atrocious.
The Scientist shakes his head.
Micayle: Now that you have seen footage of both men and their… crimes, I must plead to you, dear viewer of this video. Please write up an official complaint to Seth Lerch and request that both of their privileges be stripped. Instead of having a useless cuckold as the WCF Champion, why not a man who is intelligent, brave, an Alpha male, and most of all… humble? A man, perhaps, like me? I can picture it now. Doctor Remus Micayle… WCF World Champion. Steve Orbit and Jayson Price on the other hand… sacked and forced to live in Canada where no one gives two hoots about them. Wonderful, wonderful.
His eyes twinkle as he said those words.
Micayle: But alas! It seems that we have come to the end of Team Science’s P.S.A. I hope that you have found this episode informative, because I most definitely have. Remember to write in to request the sacking of both members of Pantheon, and I’ll see you on Sunday. May the elements bless you until then.
He bows, as canned applause rains down in the video.
Analysis of situation at hand.
Title Card: 22nd June Slam Main Event - Team Science versus Pantheon
Stipulation: WCF Tag Team Championships
Venue: Acer Arena, Sydney, Australia
Time: Main event slot at 2200hrs
Team A - Team Science
Participants: Doctor Remus Micayle, Nathan von Liebert
Gimmick: Two immensely talented wrestlers who have embraced the power of science to establish dominance in their own right
The Bruiser/Academic/Mahatma Gandhi: Doctor Remus Micayle
The Lancer/Gentleman/Martin Luther King: Nathan von Liebert
Synergy of Team A detected.
Conflict of interest: MINIMAL
Likelihood of betrayal: MINIMAL
Potential of group: MAXIMUM
Likelihood of victory: HIGH
...
Team B - Pantheon
Participants: Steve Orbit, Jayson Price
Gimmick: Two of the WCF’s toughest pugilists who have banded together in a wolf pack to establish Fascism over the WCF
The Alcoholic/Rapist/Hitler: Jayson Price
The Pimp/STD Machine/Mussolini: Steve Orbit
Synergy of Team B detected.
Conflict of interest: HIGH (Steve Orbit and Jayson Price’s conflict over WCF Championship Title at Blast)
Likelihood of betrayal: HIGH (Jayson Price has shown traces of aggression and megalomania; Orbit signs of complacency and weakness)
Potential of group: LIMITED (Members are without significant backup. Jeff Purse is trapped in another match, Jonny Fly is injured, and Corey Black is at a Justin Bieber concert)
Likelihood of victory: LOW
...
Conclusion: Victory for Team Science.
Just a brisk walk away from the world-famous Darling Harbour, the Langham Sydney blends the modern charm and attention to detail of a boutique hotel with the design and ergonomics of a five-star hotel. Recently voted on to the 2013 Conde Nast Traveller Gold List, the hotel commonly plays host to some of the world’s most famous celebrities whenever they are in the lovely city of Sydney. With David Beckham, Jay Chou, President George Bush, and Chancellor Angela Merkel amongst its clientele, one should get a rough picture of the luxury and comfort that is present to attract such a powerful crowd.
In the lobby at this very moment is another man of repute and fame. Wearing a pair of Oakley shades along with a dapper suit and tie, Doctor Remus Micayle is seated at a coffee table with a steaming hot cup of black tea on it. The Doctor is people-watching contently, but every now and then, he takes a small sip out of his drink. So intent on his relaxation that he fails to notice an approaching figure from the side.
: Doctor Micayle! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!
The Scientist looks up from the cup of tea he has been slowly enjoying at the hotel lobby, only to be confronted by the smiling face of a black man in a smart-looking pinstriped suit and a small briefcase. The black man extends a hand out towards the seated Doctor Remus Micayle, fully intent on giving a handshake.
: How are you? Woah, I’ve had the worst time trying to locate you!
Micayle squints at him. He seems vaguely familiar…almost as if he has seen him before. The man continues smiling, albeit a little nervously now since Micayle hasn’t returned the handshake yet. The Scientist quickly gives him the ‘once-over’, glancing over this outfit before standing up and extending his hand in return.
Doctor Remus Micayle: Hello there, you are?
The black man delivers a firm handshake, before letting go of his hand quickly.
: Ahaha, I’m Freddy Woah. I’m not too surprised that we are unfamiliar with one another. I was hired for WCF Wednesday Night, and other than a few other segments and promos here and there, I haven’t really gotten to being the resident ‘go-to’ interviewer like Hank Brown has yet.
He grins again.
Freddy Woah: I wasn’t supposed to hunt you down like this, but Hank said that you weren’t interested in entertaining his queries any more, so WCF management decided to send me down this week to get your weekly article instead. I hope I wasn’t disturbing anything…?
A small moment of silence follows, as Micayle continues frowning at Freddy.
Micayle: I was having a cup of tea. But I suppose you can join me for a while. Anyone is better than Hank Brown, I suppose. Come, sit.
The Doctor gestures carelessly towards his coffee table, where he has been sitting for a while now, before heading back to his seat. Freddy eagerly joins him, unpacking his bag on to an unoccupied plush sofa as he does so. Like clockwork, a waiter dressed in the hotel’s service staff garb appears at their side.
Waiter: Good afternoon sir. Would you like a cup of tea as well?
Freddy looks up from his bag, before shaking his head.
Freddy Woah: No thanks, I have water with me.
The waiter bows respectfully, before walking away. Micayle waits coolly as the WCF interviewer extracts a pen, a notepad, as well as a small list of questions on a piece of paper from the briefcase. Finally, with a loud sigh of satisfaction, Freddy turns his attention towards Micayle.
Freddy Woah: Well, shall we get started? My main objective today is to find out your thoughts about Team Science’s main event match against Pantheon for the WCF Tag Team Titles, nothing more. Alright?
Micayle nods nonchalantly. Beaming, Freddy immediately shoots out the first question.
Freddy Woah: Sweet! So, first up. As mentioned, Nathan von Liebert and yourself will be defending the titles one week before Blast. What are your thoughts about the match in general?
However, the Scientist isn’t answering. He’s still busy staring at Freddy Woah. So intently that the interviewer’s smile falters slightly.
Freddy Woah: Doctor Remus?
Micayle: Hang on, I remember you now! You are that stringer who hangs about Steve Orbit perpetually, right? The one who interviewed Orbit’s promo and posted it on WCF.com?
Freddy nods, still a tad confused about the entire situation. Micayle’s expression, on the other hand, hardens considerably.
Micayle: I see… no matter. Let’s get on with the interview. Thoughts about the match later on tonight? Well, Mister Freddy, I am beyond appalled at how Team Science is scheduled to compete in a match one week before our showdown with Doc Henry at Blast. Beyond appalled! I trust you have seen what occurred last week? Between the entire WCF roster and ourselves?
The interviewer nods.
Micayle: It is shocking that despite whatever happened last week, Seth Lerch still thought it a good idea for superstars of our calibre to endanger our bodies recklessly in a cheap attempt to bolster the buy rates for Slam in Australia. HALF of the active roster attacked Nathan and myself last week for no good reason, and instead of compensating us with a week off or a bonus paycheque, Seth forced us to defend our WCF Tag Team Championships for no explicable reason? And against whom?
He pauses for dramatic effect.
Micayle: Steve Orbit and Jayson Price! Two men who have had a love-hate affair for the past few weeks, and for some reason that only makes sense to Seth himself, he decides to put the two clowns up against two of his most capable professional wrestlers? And for the WCF Tag Team Championships!? The WCF Tag Team Championships!?
Micayle seethes, a small vein now bulging prominently from his forehead as he continues his rant.
Micayle: Does Seth Lerch want to destroy the WCF tag team division once again? After what Team Science has done to revitalise the once-sterile landscape? Does this even make sense to you? You offer the chance of a lifetime to two men who obviously hate each other’s guts? Really!? Did he forget the last time he forced wrestlers who hated the sight of one another into a team, he ended up with a tag team division where the reigning champions were scum like Denise D’Evil and Night Rider? And the challengers were BioWalker? Did that sound like a successful division to you?
Acknowledging his growing volume, Micayle calms himself down.
Micayle: Ahem! Believe it or not, this is not a complaint or a whine about having to fight Orbit and Price, despite what it may sound like. For once, they are opponents that are worthy of my calibre and I am relishing the challenge. I just dislike the situations that Seth seem to put his federation into at seemingly random times. Meh, talk about bad business decisions.
Freddy Woah: Ahh, such is management. Sometimes only the decisions they make are discernible to themselves. But there’s hardly a thing we can do about it. The card has been fixed, and all of Australia is buying into the hype of Pantheon versus Team Science. Perhaps he does know what he is doing.
Micayle snorts in derision.
Micayle: Right. Sending two of his top superstars in his federation up against two inferior opponents, how will it turn out? Please. I mean, Orbit and Price may be of considerable aptitude, but just throwing them into a team and expecting them to win against Team Science? You might as well send them into a slaughterhouse to get brutalised. The odds at the local betting house must be incredible if you bet on Pantheon.
A moment of silence follows. Freddy raises one eyebrow at that comment.
Freddy Woah: Oh?
The Scientist stares lazily at the interviewer.
Micayle: You didn’t actually think that I would concede defeat to Orbit and Price, did you?
Freddy Woah: No, but I thought tha—
Unexpectedly, Micayle bursts into laughter.
Micayle: HA HA! You actually thought that Nathan and myself would fall to Pantheon? HA HA HA!
His roars subsiding to soft chuckles, Micayle shakes his head slowly.
Micayle: Oh no, no, no. No, no, no. That is incredibly unlikely to occur. Extremely unlikely as a matter of fact. You see, I am not Caliban, and I do not go in to a match where I stand a significant chance at losing. My reputation as one of WCF’s premier pugilists is on the line every single week, and it is my prerogative to protect it to the best of my ability. Both Nathan and myself understand that just one little slip, just a little slip of concentration, and we would be no better than Adam Young and the rest of the dregs in the locker room.
He leers mockingly.
Micayle: Mister Freddy, I want you to look at me.
Freddy Woah: Um, I am, Docto—
Micayle: No, no. I mean, really look at me. Memorise every ripple of muscle I have on my body. Note my strength and agility and how it seemingly springs out of nowhere. Jot this down. I am quite possibly the ultimate physical specimen - the perfect mixture between brawn, brains, and speed. Look at me, and then reflect on your own impressions of Jayson Price and Steve Orbit.
The Scientist scrunches up his nose in disgust.
Micayle: And I’m only one-half of Team Science. Add in the unpredictability and quickness of Nathan von Liebert, and you have yourself a combination that is difficult to deal with in the ring. Orbit and Price have quite the reputation in terms of wrestling records, I am sure of it, but so do Nathan and myself. They have amassed a large collection of wrestling accomplishments, but so have Team Science. The difference is the amount of time we have spent in the WCF, as I have only just entered the company barely half a year ago. Give me the longevity of Pantheon, and I guarantee you that I’ll have the sam— scratch that, I’ll better their accomplishments. I’m not one to overestimate myself, so I can tell you confidently that I have already surpassed their careers when they were at my current stage. A WCF United States Championship, a WCF Tag Team Championship, and a reputation for being one of the best pound-for-pound fighters in the entire federation? While Jayson Price struggled to defeat Logan in the early stages of his career, I crushed the hot dog loving fool, not once, but twice. While Orbit scrambled to make an impact at ONE, I debuted and claimed victory in my very first match, along with the United States Championship. Enough said.
Micayle: But alas! In this match, I am unfortunately the one that has the most basic resume - another unfortunate result of me joining the WCF later than both of my opponents and Nathan. If you wish to bring up physical accomplishments, I have to face the fact that I will not be able to boast of certain accomplishments - yet. But face it, Mister Freddie, you know as well as I do that this match will be one that neither Orbit or Price will be able to prepare for. A fight is a fight, plain and simple as that. It’s right back to the basics, where each competitor tries to prove himself superior to the other through their fists. No need to brag about winning the WCF World Championship and holding it for X number of days when you know full well that your opponent has never even tried at going for that belt. No obligation for you to shout out to the world of you winning every single title the WCF has to offer when you lose it just mere days after. It just means you lost it in the first place.
He frowns.
Micayle: If it’s what thing Team Science is good at… it’s outlasting the rest in combat. You want to play the brawling game with Team Science? We’ll see if Price’s fragile kidneys and neck will be able to take the punishment that I deal out. Move it to the skies? Let’s bring Nathan in on that and see how you like jumping Oakland-Splash style into a firm uppercut into the soft underside on your chin. Face it: no matter how hard they try to find a weak spot in our assault plan, we’ll just find a way to counter it.
He moves slightly closer to Freddy.
Micayle: The thing about Pantheon is that there seems to be a penchant for underestimating their opponents within the group. I suppose that mindset comes with the territory. Being so far up the figurative mountain tends to make those who are still struggling to scale the sierras seem to be far below them. Both Price and Orbit are at the peak of their career; there’s no denying that. Anyone who tells you that neither of them are gifted is a liar, and a superior human being like me is anything but a fibber. I mean, come on. One’s the current WCF Champion while the other is the Number One Contender for that title. When was the last time that Orbit or Price was even defeated in the ring, for that matter? Are explanations even necessary here?
A flash of… something passes by in his eyes. Is it rage? Or pity?
Micayle: But ultimately, when you are on top, the only way to go from there is down. And down is definitely a direction where they are heading in to - it’s merely an issue of when and who does it. It was a good run for them, yes. But this week, their undefeated streak ends at the hands of the WCF Tag Team Championships. Nathan and myself are this federation’s premier tag team specialists, and I’ll be darned if we fall in battle to a mismatched duo who are currently having problems so big they make the recent ebola outbreak in Africa seem like a joke.
He shakes his head in mock sympathy.
Micayle: Those two are good and gifted wrestlers. But the burning question right now is if they are good enough to contend for Team Science’s birthright. Are they capable of that élan? To win something that requires unquestioned teamwork and chemistry between two people? Are they currently partners who would take a potentially fatal blow for their partner to ensure they come out victorious in a match of this prestige? Are they comrades who are willing to put aside their petty goals and aspirations aside in order to make sure that the greater good is fulfilled? Are Pantheon that? Can Orbit and Price put aside their recent problems with one another to ensure that they can overco— nay, even dream of standing in the same ring as Nathan and myself for one of the most prestigious championships to hold in today’s WCF landscape?
A small pause follows.
Micayle: To that… I say no. No questions asked about that at all.
Freddie doesn’t say anything, instead busily scribbling down notes.
Micayle: I am no expert at inter-stable rivalries, but in my book, teammates who actually want to win championships that require you to work as a team need to do just that; work as a pair rather than two separate individuals. Two men who are in the main event against Team Science - who are the very best in the business currently - need to be at a hundred and one percent focus and possess the same level of camaraderie before they can even think of challenging for our gold. Such people are far and far between, and I can safely tell you that Orbit and Price are amongst those numbers. People who can even dare dream of taking away Nathan’s and my championships do not simply ignore each other in the ring just because they are competing for something at a later date.
Micayle: The naysayers might say that it wasn’t too long ago when Nathan and myself had the same chemistry and trust issues between us. To an extent, that is true. But only to an extent. Everyone knows that when Nathan came to find me, he was at a very troubled place. He suffered amnesia, he had regressed into another personality altogether, he was hurt. In short, he wasn’t himself, and it is extremely difficult to establish a working relationship with someone when he or she isn’t comfortable with himself, even for an astute professional such as myself.
The Scientist scratches an itch on his left earlobe.
Micayle: But we worked hard on that. We fought more than our fair share of fights together, and you - having worked in the business - should know that. Some we were triumphant, some we were not so, but nonetheless, all of them were valuable lessons that we took back and evaluated so that we could perform better in the future. And look at Nathan now! After a few months of working with me, he has managed to return to his original self, and dare I say even better than he was before! He may be missing his signature red hand right now, but in my opinion, that just made him even more of a conqueror today. Incidentally, keep an eye out for that. We’ll have a couple of updates on that end sooner than you might think.
Micayle: I could go on and on forever about how Team Science has defied the odds and made ourselves champions out of a less-than-idea situation, but I shall skip that. The short of it is that Nathan and myself have forged the quintessential tag team relationship. One that is superior. One that is unparalleled. One that is without a shadow of a doubt better than the neglectful team that is Orbit and Price this week. And trust me; that will show when we are in the squared circle. We are miles apart from the lard-filled, disease-ridden alcoholics in Pantheon in terms of our physical attributes, and our redeeming factor - teamwork - just leaves them plain in the dirt, both literally and figuratively.
An uncomfortable silence occurs after that proclamation, with only the sound of scribbling filling the quiet of the conversation. Neither party speaks for several seconds, until finally, Micayle speaks.
Micayle: Mister Woah, do you like horror films?
Freddy looks confused at that random question, a slight frown on his face.
Freddy Woah: Um… yeah, I guess? Why?
Micayle bends forward, a keen look on his face.
Micayle: Fabulous. Because that’s what you are about to see later tonight. When your boys finally manage to square off with Nathan and myself, that’s what it is going to be. A massacre that puts Leatherface to shame. A bout filled with so much brutality that it makes Pumpkinhead and the cult killings look tame. A vicious game in the ring that not even Jigsaw can improve. In approximately… four hours, when Slam kicks off and Pantheon steps into the Acer Arena, I want the WCF Galaxy to understand the fact that despite Pantheon’s very best efforts, despite their prowess in defeating lower-card wrestlers, they will be standing in the ring with two men whom they are going to be completely wrecked by at the end of the night.
Micayle: I don’t know how they did it, and I am not really interested to know what favours they promised in return. But like it or not, Steve Orbit and Jayson Price will be facing Nathan and myself for our gold tonight. OUR WCF Tag Team Championships. And you know what happens when people try to step over their heads and aim to purloin things from Team Science, don’t you?
His face moves even closer towards Freddy. He can see everything from this distance. A small zit below his lip, a couple of beauty marks near his neck, a minute bead of nervous sweat slowly making its way down his forehead… everything.
Micayle: Don’t get me wrong - I’m not issuing a threat towards anyone right now. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
And then, out of nowhere, the Scientist flashes a smile. A smile that instead of accentuating his good features, seem to make him look even more bestial. A small sign of the true Doctor Remus Micayle that lies within the charming exterior.
Micayle: I’m making a promise. A promise that tonight, it won’t be the usual Pantheon victory that some smart marks on the Internet are expecting it to be. A promise that at Slam, it will be Team Science that will be walking out, still the premier tag team to beat in the federation. A promise that I - Doctor Remus Micayle - will be delivering Formulas to both Steve Orbit and Jayson Price. Formulas filled with so much knowledge and discomfort that it’ll take their bodies and brains a few days to get over what I’ve dropped on them. Now, I would prefer they do their self-reflection in the morgue, but I will grudgingly settle for a hospital ward.
His smile grows.
Micayle: I’ve been wanting to get my hands on Pantheon for the longest time, and finally, I get a chance to tussle with two members from that very faction. You have heard how the bout at XIII is beyond brutal, how every single participant in that match suffered injuries of various intensities. Myself included.
Subconsciously, the Scientist clenches a fist.
Micayle: I will not lie. It takes a lot for me to be battled into unconsciousness or amnesia. Whatever happened in Bangkok must have been extraordinary, and up to this day, I have not an inkling on what happened. All I remembered is… it hurting. A lot. A whole, whole lot…
He seems to drift away for a little bit, but then snaps back to focus.
Micayle: But at this current point in time, it matters little to me. For all that I know, I might not have even made it to Thailand, so in my mind, this is the very first time I’m in a bout with those two men. We might never truly know who emerged victorious, Team Thickness or Pantheon, so to me, tonights WCF Tag Team Championship bout offers another chance to paint the canvas the way it should have been coloured in the first place.
He pauses.
Micayle: A five-star classic, where Doctor Remus Micayle and his partner come forth as champions over a lesser team after the Formula has been applied on to their fragmented bodies. Or in tonight’s case… a duo.
Another ugly smirk follows, before Micayle redirects all of his attention towards the interviewer. He squints at Freddy, who fidgets uncomfortably in his seat.
Micayle: So that’s that for the match. For you, Mister Freddy Woah… it’s my time to ask the questions.
That bead of sweat trickles down Freddy’s face silently as he waits in petrified silence. Micayle’s cold eyes slowly analyse his face before Micayle extends a finger towards his face.
Micayle: You seem to be awfully close with Orbit, are you not?
Freddy nods nervously. Micayle continues scrutinising him.
Micayle: And it would be safe to assume that it would… annoy him if anything unfortunate occurred to a friend of him, no? Especially if it’s someone whom he has been seen interacting with frequently on WCF television?
Freddy stays still, his lips pursed tight as more cold sweat breaks out on his forehead. Micayle’s eyes never leave his despite the silence. Finally, after what seems like a tensed eternity, the Scientist breaks out in a small smile.
Micayle: Just a thought. Now, you got everything written down thus far?
Freddy nods, barely hiding his own sigh of relief. The ends of Micayle’s mouth twitch again as he leans back calmly into his chair.
Micayle: Good. Now get out of here before I get the cops to arrest you for trying to sell me cocaine. I’m busy.
His eyes widen at that preposterous and unexpected statement that signals the end of the conversation, before a resigned look comes over his face. Quickly packing up his things, Freddy stands up and dips his head, signalling that he’s about to take his leave. Micayle ignores the friendly gesture, merely narrowing his eyes at the man. The smile on his face sliding away faster than oil on a plate, Freddy hastily makes a move, not eager to remain in the company of the unpleasant Scientist.
Waiter: Excuse me sir, would you like a refill? I notice that your cup of tea is running low.
He breaks contact with the retreating back of Freddy and glances to the right. There stands the same waiter that served Freddy earlier, waiting patiently with a teapot in his hand and a smile on his face as always. Micayle stands up and pats his clothes down, before turning to face the young man with a plastered simper on his face.
Micayle: No, thank you. I’ve got an appointment to catch, and I wouldn’t want my… counterparts to wonder where I am. It’s going to be an educational experience, and I am sure they’ll love it.
Steve Orbit. Current WCF World Champion in his second reign. Former WCF United States Champion, WCF Tag Team Champion, WCF Television Champion. Longest WCF United States Championship reign in WCF history.
Jayson Price. Current Number One Contender to the WCF World Championship. Former WCF World Champion, WCF United States Champion, WCF Hardcore Champion, WCF Tag Team Champion, WCF Television Champion, WCF Peoples Champion, and WCF Internet Champion. Only person in WCF history to hold every main title currently available.
Vulnerabilities detected in all both members. Common traits within the group include arrogance, thirst for approval, slight insanity, steroids consumption, and megalomania.
Blood tests (obtained through XIII) show several contagious sexually transmitted diseases present in his bloodstream, including syphilis, chlamydia, and candidiasis. This can be attributed to the high and unsafe sexual escapades used by The Mack in his various business ventures, where the five members of Pantheon are frequent regulars. Traces of anabolic steroids are also seen in the results, lending credence to the argument that all members of Pantheon are nothing more than narcotised, underhanded, amoral criminals who eagerly embrace illegal stimulants and substances to gain an edge over the rest of the wrestling world.
…
Notes
Through careful and precise field research, it is proven that without a shadow of a doubt, Orbit and Price are men with a murky personal life. Despite their shortcomings in contributing towards modern-day society and obvious low moral standards, it was always held that by and large, the two of them are able to function and blend in well in a crowd. All kinky fetishes hidden in the private corners of their sadistic, corrupt minds, never to be opened and shown to the general public.
Recent developments prove otherwise. And thanks to Team Science’s ingenious revelation, the whole world will now learn of the misdeeds of one Steve Orbit and one Jayson Price. We hoped that you, the viewer, have enjoyed and learnt more about the hidden lives of these two individuals. The videos - captured courtesy of yours truly - show obvious signs of mental instability, inexplicable rage towards women coupled with carnal obsessions bordering on the truly dangerous, and an overall lack of control over the most basic bodily functions. It can be assumed that you, the viewer, now know of the dangerous and inhuman hyenas that are the real Orbit and Price, rather than the jovial, merrymaking bunch of moronic hooligans they try to portray themselves as on national television.
We have had eye-witnesses. Men and women of staunch character and integrity who have absolutely no reason to lie to the American public. They are spectators, onlookers, and more often that not victims of these two sinister man-wolves. We have presented the facts. The statistics. The truth. And now… it is now up to you, the noble men and women who watch WCF Slam every Sunday night, to see if you wish to open up your eyes to the truth and for the first time in your forlorn lives, realise the foulness and ghastliness of Steve Orbit and Jayson Price. We have nothing to hide, unlike two very hideous members of Pantheon.
You may not believe us, and truth be told, I do not blame you. You may jeer us, boo us, perhaps even throw a banana peel or two at us, but it does not matter. You see, throughout the course of history, the truth-seekers have been persecuted and thought of as crazy witches. Galilei, Mandel, Zweig - all unfortunate fatalities of a time when thinking out of the box and exposing what is wrong with the world is considered to be a crime worthy of death. It is an unfair deal thrusted upon us when all Team Science wants to do is to alert the world of the inhumanity and vileness of Orbit/Price. But alas! As men who have a greater calling in life than the pitiful rat race of 401Ks and the mortgage payments… we accept this fate. Possessing knowledge when someone else does not sparks nothing but envy, and we can do naught but to hope your eyes open before it’s too late.
To you, I say this. Before you down that Bud Light and throw it towards us on Sunday, think about this. We have uncovered the truth, and like it or not, it’s not going to go away. You may close your eyes and live in your delusional world where WCF superstars are truly the modern day Supermans of cable, so perfect that any notion of sin on their part is a fabrication of the most evil intent. No way that Orbit could be a sub who gets off on Asian girls peeing on his face! No way that Price actually did such a disgusting thing as rape! No way that the two of them are going to get hit by The Formula on Sunday before crashing to a defeat just before their showdown at Blast next week! No way! No way!
But unfortunately for you… it’s true. And here’s my message to you, dear viewers. Believe or not, it does not matter. The fact of the matter is that there are so many more people you could influence and save from if they knew the truth. The young boys and girls who gaze up to the stage and watch Doctor Remus Micayle and Nathan von Liebert in that ring, wishing that they could somehow fight against the sad lot they have in life and one day emulate the greatness of two men who have embraced the greatness that comes with knowledge. The pockmarked skinny teenager with incurable acne who instead of heading out to town and partying like any normal sixteen-year-old would do, chooses to stay at home and polish the chrome dome to ‘barely-there’ pictures of Ana Valentine and Marina Valdivia. Your neighbour’s second female cousin once removed, who idolises Pantheon to the point of actually wanting to obtain vaginitis and join Club Violet so that she could be within ten steps of Fly and co.
Do it for them, if for no one else.
They deserve to know what kind of people Jayson Price and Steve Orbit really are.
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Primary threat detected.
- Alcoholic (al-k?-?ho?-lik, -?hä-): A person who frequently drinks too much alcohol and is unable to live a normal and healthy life : a person who is affected with alcoholism. A situation of, relating to, or caused by alcohol. Commonly contains alcohol. First Known Use: 1864.
Potential solution found.
- Stoning (?st?n-i?g): The act of hurling stones at someone, to kill by pelting with stones. To make hard or insensitive to feeling. To face, pave, or fortify with stones. To remove the stones or seeds of a fruit. To rub, scour, or polish with a stone. To sharpen with a whetstone. First Known Use: 13th century.
Application of solution in progress.
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<Uploaded on wcf.com>
Scene: Remus Micayle's apartment, New York City, New York, USA (Thursday 0845hrs, 19th June 2014)
The camera rolls, with a gothic-looking title card appearing on the front screen. Micayle’s signature theme song, “The Stringless Violin” by Adagio plays along with it, as the words “Team Science” appear. Canned applause is heard as a highlight reel of Doctor Remus Micayle’s past glories are showcased to great effect. Every successful strike is shown, while those embarrassing incidents are edited away. This includes the WCF United States victory against the now-fired Ryan Rhodes, the win over The Shadow Demons for the WCF Tag Team Championships and the recent defeat of Alexander Richards last week.
Finally, after an uncomfortably long prelude, the video ends and the camera pans to an incoming Scientist, who’s walking with his arms outstretched towards the screen - obviously an attempt at fostering the television-viewer bond and creating the impression of friendliness. This mirrors his previous videos posted - the only difference between the last video and the current one is that Micayle is in the comfort of his own house, whereas he was in a car park the previous time round. Nonetheless, an icy-thin smile is on his face as he starts to speak. He is dressed in a smart-looking suit and tie, something that seems a little odd given that he is in his own house, but nevertheless, he looks good.
Doctor Remus Micayle: Welcome one and welcome all! Good morning to all of you ladies and gentlemen once again, and this is a Public Service Announcement, courtesy of Team Science. Today’s topic is… Steve Orbit and Jayson Price!
He strolls closer towards the camera.
Micayle: As many of you may know, Pantheon will be going up against Team Science this Sunday night at Slam for the WCF Tag Team Championships. This will be an exciting bout for all the watch, including the little children who are in Australia. Four of their favourite WCF fighters in the ring at the same time - and for the gold! Even myself, one-half the current WCF Tag Team Champions cannot wait to face my opponents this week. The match should be a good one, just in time to lead us into Blast next week. It’s truly an exciting time to be a fan and enjoy wrestling without all the controversy that often plagues our sport…
He pauses, shifting his body forward and staring into the camera, in a sombre mood.
Micayle: Or it WOULD have been, if it wasn’t for a discovery that I have made a couple of days ago with the aid of Nathan von Liebert and a few willing eye-witnesses. It saddens me to be the bearer of bad news, but I have bone-chilling news to share with the WCF Galaxy. And it involves my two opponents on Sunday.
Once again, he pauses for dramatic effect.
Micayle: Most people know me as one of the most honest, insightful, attractive, perceptive, and humble people on Earth, so it comes as no surprise that it falls to one as gifted as me to reveal the truth behind Steve Orbit and Jayson Price in this video. These two men are two of the most popular athletes in the entire federation, with fans buying out their merchandise fairly often. In fact, if I am not mistaken, Orbit’s latest ‘How To Set Up Your Own Brothel’ guidebook is the number one best-seller on the WCF.com webstore this week, while Jayson’s iconic graphic tee-shit of him flipping the bird at absolutely nobody in particular received rave reviews on eBay, Amazon, and ASOS. Fans love them, and for good reason, I must admit that.
Micayle points a finger at the camera.
Micayle: It has always troubled me at how ‘perfect’ Steve Orbit and Jayson Price appear to be on television. The two men have always shown their most perfect sides to all the viewers of WCF, and it just seems a little off at how they pander to the fans. It almost seems like a… facade of some sort, like they are trying to cover something up by playing extra-nice to the WCF Galaxy. It’s suspicious. And when Jayson Price started acting a little funny and befuddled the fans, it finally dawned upon me that he may not be as nice as some of the children think he is. And the same goes for our WCF World Champion, that sly ebony dog that he is.
He lowers the finger.
Micayle: And so! I’ve decided to play a little detective, snoop around a little into their personal lives in hopes of finding out who the real Steve Orbit and Jayson Price truly are. I don’t buy into the gimmicks they show on television, and I am sure more than a few fans within the crowd don’t as well. But search I did, and what I did find was something more surprising than what I could have ever envisioned!
He bows his head low, portraying an image of sadness and regret, before rearing his head up in righteous fury.
Micayle: Lo and behold, I can proudly proclaim right here and now that Steve Orbit and Jayson Price are by far the absolutely most DISGUSTING BEASTS I have ever had the misfortune of meeting in my life! You all know Orbit as a famous pimp, that’s for sure. But did you know that he’s a morbid porn addict who has an obsession with scat!? We all understand Jayson Price has a little misfortune when it comes to controlling his love for alcohol, true. But how do you explain him copulating with a young Doberman for no good reason?
Micayle stares fiercely into the camera.
Micayle: I knew something was up with Orbit and Price, and by Darwin, my suspicions were proven right. By a combination of hard work, luck, and my own prodigious talent, I have painstakingly worked all week on tracking down Orbit’s and Price’s personal lives. I have found two very reliable, honest, and helpful interviewees who have agreed to partake in today’s edition of Team Science P.S.A in order to bring two of Pantheon’s finest to justice! And what a day that would truly be indeed!
Micayle: A picture speaks a thousand words, and what I have for you today is worth much, much, more than one of Edgar Allan Poe’s original manuscripts, let me assure you of that. So! Without further ado, please allow me to bring up the first interviewee that I have found - albeit with much effort on my part - REVEREND STEVEN COLE!
PART ONE: THE CRIMES OF JAYSON PRICE
The camera fades to black, before another video fades into screen. It is a recording of an interview that has taken place earlier in the week, as a time stamp at the bottom right of the screen pays tribute. It is not a very extensively decorated room, as Micayle’s personal apartment was. Instead, it almost seems like it was designed to feature the exact opposite. The small room is entirely white in colour, and the only thing in it is a table and a chair, with a middle-aged man seated in it.
The man is dressed in pastor robes and has a crucifix necklace draped over him. His hair is black speckled with traces of grey, and several wrinkles are present on his face. He seems a little twitchy, but generally, a healthy and fairly calm man of sound mind. Micayle’s voice booms out from the video. It is evidently an interview that focuses squarely on the reverend, with Micayle sitting out-of-frame in order to not distract the viewer.
Micayle: Please introduce yourself?
Reverend Steven Cole: I am Steven Cole. I am forty-eight this year, and I am the head cleric at Old St. Joseph’s Church.
Micayle: And please tell us what is the level of your association with Jayson Allen Price?
At the mention of Price’s name, the holy man’s face turns an ugly shade of coral. He starts gritting his teeth, almost as if he’s fighting the urge to go against his vows and curse at the top of his voice.
Reverend Steven Cole: About… two and a half months ago, a young man came into my church after Sunday service. I noticed him immediately, with him being as big as he was. He seemed like a jolly chap; muscular, a little scruffy beard that he didn’t shave, along with a slight limp. He looked like one of those athletes on Monday Night football, y’know, so I thought that he was here to pray for a quick recovery from a sprained leg or whatever he was suffering from so that he could go back to his game.
He’s speaking quickly, seeming like he wants to get whatever information that is in him out so that he can get the worst over and done with.
Micayle: So, that was when you spoke to him?
He shakes his head.
Reverend Steven Cole: No. Unfortunately, I was very busy that Sunday with some church logistics, so much that I could not even extract myself from the crowd to do the meet-and-greet session that I normally do to newcomers to our church. Instead, I got my wife - the loveliest woman you’ve seen and the most beautiful cook to boot - to welcome him instead. I thought that all would be fine, especially when she returned to the chapel ten minutes after with a highly positive impression of him.
Micayle: What did she say?
His countenance darkens once more.
Reverend Steven Cole: She told me that this Jayson Price claims to be a wrestler who is on a sabbatical. He had some demons he wanted to solve before returning to the ring, and thought that religion would be the way to go. I was intrigued. I mean, how often do you find a professional who’s currently on hiatus? I don’t watch WCF Wrestling, and neither does my wife, so we had no idea who he was at first. Which was very lucky for him, because if I did… I would have chased that son-of-a-gun out of the church with a broomstick the very day I saw him.
Micayle: Don’t we all. What happened next?
The pastor takes a deep breath, before continuing.
Reverend Steven Cole: So next Sunday, I see this big man again. Same old, same old. Walking with a limp, scraggly beard, didn’t talk much. I had a bit more time after the sermon, so I decided to talk to him instead. The custom is for the initiator of conversation - in this case my wife - to introduce me to him. But just on this fateful day, my wife wasn’t feeling very well, so she stayed at home to rest. Which on hindsight… was the best thing that ever occurred to our family.
He frowns.
Reverend Steven Cole: So anyways, I met him at where he was sitting and shook his hand. But upon grasping his hand, I immediately smelt this overpowering odour of stale alcohol. To be perfectly frank, I was more than a little shocked at this display. It’s the God’s day, where we gather to worship Jesus Christ our Saviour and Lord, and he comes in smelling like he just walked out of a bar?
Micayle’s reply was more than a little patronising.
Micayle: I am sure that Jesus Christ deserves a little more respect than that. He’s a deity, after all.
He didn’t seem to notice, however.
Reverend Steven Cole: Exactly! But that wasn’t the worst of it. I tried to hear what he was saying, but it seemed that he was only mumbling to himself. I moved in closer… and that’s when it happened.
The pastor hesitates for a brief second, before unbuttoning his shirt and showing his chest to the camera. Shockingly, his sternum is a blotchy dark red in colour and multiple scars run across the breastbone. Almost as if he was… burnt. Even the Scientist couldn’t hide his surprise.
Micayle: By Darwin’s name, what happened!
He smiles weakly.
Reverend Steven Cole: To be perfectly frank with you, I cannot remember it entirely. All I remember is him drunkenly pushing me to the ground and throwing an acid in a bottle over me. By God’s grace the majority of the liquid that was inside the bottle spilt on my chest, where I had the most clothing on. But still, the acid managed to burn through my robes, inner shirt, and even some of my flesh.
Micayle: That must have been bad.
Reverend Steven Cole: Excruciatingly. I passed out for a little bit, but not before screaming for help. When I came to, I remembered seeing my… chest.
He shudders uncontrollably.
Reverend Steven Cole: It was really bad. I was extremely weak, and I had to make it to a hospital somehow. Through God’s strength, I somehow managed to crawl out of the hall I was in and into the outside. I was so lucky that there was a church-goer who decided to linger a little longer after service. She immediately called 9-9-5, and I was saved.
He buttons up his robes, before looking back up at the camera.
Reverend Steven Cole: The doctor said it was a concentrated variant of hydrochloric acid. The type they use to clean out the drains, so it’s especially potent. I cannot imagine why he brought it to church for, unless it’s to assault someone. I assume he was targeting my wife, but for whatever reason… I do not know.
The man’s face is wretched. It’s clear that the assault tormented him in more ways than one. He takes another deep breath.
Micayle: Is that the last you saw of him?
Reverend Steven Cole: Heavens no! One night, about a week after I was released from the hospital, my wife and I were sleeping. At approximately three in the morning, I heard a disturbance in the garden. My wife heard it too, and she decided to go check it out as my body was still recovering from the acid. Mere minutes after she left… I heard her scream, and a man grunt.
Micayle: … grunt?
He nods.
Reverend Steven Cole: Almost as if he was having… y’know… sex. I immediately feared the worst and stumbled out of bed. I rushed to where she was still screaming, and to my shock…
He gulps. Tears of sorrow are in his eyes.
Reverend Steven Cole: There stood Jayson Price, naked as the day he was born and probably drunk to hell as well. He stood over my wife, a look of pure evil in his face. Naturally, I assumed that she was going to be… y’know… and yelled for him to stop. He didn’t seem to hear me, but my wife most certainly did. To my astonishment, she rushed over to my side.
He wipes his eyes.
Micayle: I don’t get it. She wasn’t the target?
The pastor shakes his head, rage in his expression once more.
Reverend Steven Cole: NO! I crept forward, determined to protect my wife to the best of my ability. And to my shock, I heard a howl and saw the bastard holding my Doberman in his grimy paws, his… his…
The culmination of emotions finally got to him, and the pastor starts sobbing uncontrollably. Only after a few seconds does he get himself together.
Reverend Steven Cole: I’ll remember that sight forever. My lovely dog, being violated so by a drunk whoreson in what must be the devil’s paradise. I immediately called the cops and tried to hide my wife away. We hid for a good… ten minutes, before I heard the sirens.
Micayle: You left your dog behind?
He stares sadly into the camera.
Reverend Steven Cole: You must understand that he probably had a hundred pounds on me. One punch and I would be out, and God knows what would have happened to my dear wife? I can still hear Lucy’s cries, and trust me when I say it’s going to the grave with me. It’s not a sound a man should ever hear in his life.
Micayle: I’m sorry.
Reverend Steven Cole: As am I… as am I.
PART ONE: END
The video fades into black, before Micayle fades back into screen with his P.S.A. He’s shaking his head in dismay.
Micayle: Not as if drinking and overindulging on alcohol isn’t enough, Jayson Allen Price had to go the extra mile and assault a poor innocent man? I mean - sure he’s a Christian and all theists deserve to die a painful death for their stupidity anyways - but not in this way and certainly not by a hypocrite like Price!
He raises an eyebrow in shock.
Micayle: And to sexually violate a dog!? That’s low. The SPCA has been notified of this barbaric treatment and will be looking into the matter, I can assure you of that. Lucy may have been put down as a result of you so brutally forcing yourself upon her, but I can assure all of you viewers that her death will not be in vain. Not if I can do anything about it. I am sure that once this video hits WCF.com and Seth Lerch hears of this, your Number One Contendership status will be stripped and you will be sent to prison, where your scumbag arse deserves to rot for the rest of eternity!
His expression grim, Micayle points towards the camera once more.
Micayle: Jayson Allen Price. A dog lover to the next level. I would have never guessed he’ll sink to such depths, but hey, I wouldn’t rule such crimes past the The South Street Deviant. I can only hope that he contract some sort of untreatable sexual disease from his blasted copulation with Lucy, and die a painful death.
He lowers his finger.
Micayle: But speaking of sexual diseases, I have a revelation about my next opponent. We all know Steve Orbit as a pimp who runs a successful franchise of brothels, but that’s merely the tip of the iceberg. Through an equally exhaustive search, I managed to find something rather… unpleasant about our WCF World Champion. What is it that plagues Orbit so? Stay tuned.
The camera fades into black as a replay of the Micayle/Caliban match starts playing, courtesy of WCF.com.
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Secondary threat detected.
- Pimp (?pimp): A man who makes money illegally by getting customers for prostitutes. Commonly a criminal who is associated with, usually exerts control over, and lives off the earnings of one or more prostitutes. Probably akin to British dialect pimp small bundle of sticks, Middle English pymple papule, German Pimpf young boy, kid, literally, little fart, Pumpf, Pumps fart. First Known Use: 1701.
Potential solution found.
- Castration (ka-?str?-sh?n\): The removal of testes or ovaries: gelding, spaying. Inhibition of the function or development of the gonads by inadequate nutrition in worker bees, by the action of certain parasites, or by the use of synthetic hormones in domestic animals, called also alimentary castration. A depriving of vigour, the deletion of a part of (a text) especially for purposes of expurgation.Middle English castracioun, from Latin castration-, castratio, from castratus + -ion-, -io -ion.
Application of solution in progress.
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The camera opens again as a small montage of Doctor Remus Micayle’s past achievements play. After an annoyingly long highlight reel, the man himself finally appears back on screen, fake ‘on-screen’ smile plastered on as he continues on his Public Service Announcement. The Scientist extends his hands out in welcome.
Doctor Remus Micayle: Welcome back to this Public Service Announcement, courtesy of Team Science. Today’s topic is… Steve Orbit and Jayson Price!
He puts his hands back down.
Micayle: Now, before the break, we found out that Jayson Price is nothing more than a drunk who breaks into his pastor’s home to sodomise his dog. He’s a disgusting son-of-a-bitch who should contract AIDS and die a painful, lesion-filled death, and I am sure that after witnessing that interview… you’ll agree.
He stares into the camera, a stern expression back on.
Micayle: But next up, I have incriminating evidence on our WCF World Champion. Steve Orbit, as you are well aware by now, is a pimp who operates and owns several highly profitable brothels. A man’s dream, if you ask any hot-blooded male except me. I prefer my girls virginal and eager to please only me, not a bunch of ugly horses. But I digress.
He folds his arms.
Micayle: As I said, anyone would say Orbit is living the man’s life. But is he really!? My next interviewee is someone who swears that she has seen Orbit at his most vulnerable, and claims that he is nothing less than a useless, gonad-less excuse of a boy. Who is she, and why you should listen to her? Well, the males might find this next figure familiar. Presenting to all of you viewers my next guest - LILY THAI!
PART TWO: THE CRIMES OF STEVE ORBIT
Similar to the earlier video, the camera fades to black, before another video fades into screen. Not much has changed from the earlier film. Same old room, same old chair. The only difference is the human being sitting in it - and what a difference maker it indeed was!
Where Reverend Steven Cole once sat, now sat a Filipino sex bomb. Porn actress Lily Thai is sucking on a lollipop rather seductively as she winks at the camera. Unfortunately for the horny viewers, she is dressed rather casually in jeans and a polo tee. She rocks the hell out of them, but she’s still clothed. Micayle’s voice booms out from the video, and almost immediately, she takes the sweet out of her mouth and drops it on the ground.
Micayle: Please introduce yourself?
Lily Thai: Good morning! My name is Lily Thai, and I am a porn star!
She winks at the camera once more as her characteristically bright voice rings out musically. Micayle doesn’t sound impressed.
Micayle: Hmpf. And please tell us what is the level of your association with Steve Orbit?
Upon hearing the WCF Champion’s name, Lily Thai starts giggling uncontrollably. It goes on for quite a while, until finally she stops.
Lily Thai: Ha ha! Sorry about that, I just couldn’t stop thinking about the man. Now, I am an occasional stripper for his gentleman’s club - Club Violet. We had a few… encounters, and it never fails to thrill me at how adorable that little black man is whenever I have him begging me to give him more!
This interests Micayle.
Micayle: …more?
She nods.
Lily Thai: Mm-hm! I first danced at Club Violet about a year ago. It was really fun when Havana Ginger - you know, Orbit’s girlfriend - brought me over. We had a really good time and it’s a safe place, no drugs get forced upon you, the bouncers are legitimate bouncers, and it’s a pretty awesome working environment! I always went home happy and juicy!
A tinge of disgust fills Micayle’s voice.
Micayle: Uh huh. And how is Orbit involved again?
She smiles.
Lily Thai: As you might have guessed, being a porn star and being a pimp means you kind of get laid a lot. And occasionally, those two lines cross, and you end up having sex with the boss because the atmosphere just gets so… tensed.
The last word rolls off her tongue deliciously.
Lily Thai: But anyways, we ended up tearing each other’s clothes off. I was primed and ready to go, until…
She giggles again.
Lily Thai: I saw his micropenis! It was so cute! It was like what… half an inch fully erected?
Behind the scenes, Micayle stifles a soft laugh.
Lily Thai: Really! When I saw it, I couldn’t believe it either! I mean, a black man whose… gift is predominantly Asian, really!? I haven’t seen one that small since I was in grade school! But he was so cute, begging me to satisfy him.
She frowns.
Lily Thai: I was really confused as to how I could do it, until he explained what to do. It turns out that…
She brings a hand over her mouth, miming a whispered conversation.
Lily Thai: He wants me to go number two in his mouth as he slowly… plays the skin flute to it. Gross right! But hey, at least I’m being paid to do what I’m doing in the washroom everyday anyways!
She shrugs. Now, Micayle is really disgusted.
Micayle: Yikes. And… are you the only girl who does this to him? Or does his girlfriend do it too…?
She nods energetically. Damn those perky Asians.
Lily Thai: Not just me and Havana, but all of the girls in Club Violet! I’ve personally saw four of them take turns… clearing out with him one afternoon. It’s rather yucky, but hey, I’m not one to judge.
You can almost see Micayle shaking his head disdainfully.
Micayle: I agree. To each their own, eh? But a question here. Is Havana happy to entertain his… fetish? Or does she tolerate it only to stack her bank account?
Lily Thai: Oh, the second one silly! He earns too much to check his bank accounts! Do you think he’s the only guy that Havana dicked when they were together? I for one doubt she really likes him, but hey, it may be true. But nonetheless, all of her shopping expenses, boy toy splurges, affairs in five-star hotels were all paid directly from Orbit’s account! What a great guy, huh!
She sounds amused. But unfortunately, Micayle is not.
Micayle: Well, I do think that’s more than enough. Thank you.
PART TWO: END
The video fades into black, before fading back in to Micayle’s P.S.A. video. The Scientist is still standing in the centre of the room, and is looking positively furious at what he had just seen once again.
Micayle: You have seen what Jayson Price is capable of. Now, you’ve seen what Orbit does on a regular basis. Although it is not a crime per se, can you rest easy and look at him proudly, claiming that he is your WCF World Champion when you know that he has probably ate more waste matter in one night than you have expelled in a week? Can you admire him as a champion when all you can imagine the never-ending flow of urine that must have covered that face when he’s not at work? Can you!?
He takes a step forward.
Micayle: A man who’s whipped beyond measure by his girlfriend is a man who cannot be trusted to do big things in life. The severity of the crime just doubles when he is a pimp, who is supposed to control his women. How can it be that he is the one who is a puppet when by day, he runs the show in the WCF? It’s truly atrocious.
The Scientist shakes his head.
Micayle: Now that you have seen footage of both men and their… crimes, I must plead to you, dear viewer of this video. Please write up an official complaint to Seth Lerch and request that both of their privileges be stripped. Instead of having a useless cuckold as the WCF Champion, why not a man who is intelligent, brave, an Alpha male, and most of all… humble? A man, perhaps, like me? I can picture it now. Doctor Remus Micayle… WCF World Champion. Steve Orbit and Jayson Price on the other hand… sacked and forced to live in Canada where no one gives two hoots about them. Wonderful, wonderful.
His eyes twinkle as he said those words.
Micayle: But alas! It seems that we have come to the end of Team Science’s P.S.A. I hope that you have found this episode informative, because I most definitely have. Remember to write in to request the sacking of both members of Pantheon, and I’ll see you on Sunday. May the elements bless you until then.
He bows, as canned applause rains down in the video.
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Analysis of situation at hand.
Title Card: 22nd June Slam Main Event - Team Science versus Pantheon
Stipulation: WCF Tag Team Championships
Venue: Acer Arena, Sydney, Australia
Time: Main event slot at 2200hrs
Team A - Team Science
Participants: Doctor Remus Micayle, Nathan von Liebert
Gimmick: Two immensely talented wrestlers who have embraced the power of science to establish dominance in their own right
The Bruiser/Academic/Mahatma Gandhi: Doctor Remus Micayle
The Lancer/Gentleman/Martin Luther King: Nathan von Liebert
Synergy of Team A detected.
Conflict of interest: MINIMAL
Likelihood of betrayal: MINIMAL
Potential of group: MAXIMUM
Likelihood of victory: HIGH
...
Team B - Pantheon
Participants: Steve Orbit, Jayson Price
Gimmick: Two of the WCF’s toughest pugilists who have banded together in a wolf pack to establish Fascism over the WCF
The Alcoholic/Rapist/Hitler: Jayson Price
The Pimp/STD Machine/Mussolini: Steve Orbit
Synergy of Team B detected.
Conflict of interest: HIGH (Steve Orbit and Jayson Price’s conflict over WCF Championship Title at Blast)
Likelihood of betrayal: HIGH (Jayson Price has shown traces of aggression and megalomania; Orbit signs of complacency and weakness)
Potential of group: LIMITED (Members are without significant backup. Jeff Purse is trapped in another match, Jonny Fly is injured, and Corey Black is at a Justin Bieber concert)
Likelihood of victory: LOW
...
Conclusion: Victory for Team Science.
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Scene: The Langham Sydney, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia (Sunday 1500hrs, 21st June 2014)
Just a brisk walk away from the world-famous Darling Harbour, the Langham Sydney blends the modern charm and attention to detail of a boutique hotel with the design and ergonomics of a five-star hotel. Recently voted on to the 2013 Conde Nast Traveller Gold List, the hotel commonly plays host to some of the world’s most famous celebrities whenever they are in the lovely city of Sydney. With David Beckham, Jay Chou, President George Bush, and Chancellor Angela Merkel amongst its clientele, one should get a rough picture of the luxury and comfort that is present to attract such a powerful crowd.
In the lobby at this very moment is another man of repute and fame. Wearing a pair of Oakley shades along with a dapper suit and tie, Doctor Remus Micayle is seated at a coffee table with a steaming hot cup of black tea on it. The Doctor is people-watching contently, but every now and then, he takes a small sip out of his drink. So intent on his relaxation that he fails to notice an approaching figure from the side.
: Doctor Micayle! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!The Scientist looks up from the cup of tea he has been slowly enjoying at the hotel lobby, only to be confronted by the smiling face of a black man in a smart-looking pinstriped suit and a small briefcase. The black man extends a hand out towards the seated Doctor Remus Micayle, fully intent on giving a handshake.
: How are you? Woah, I’ve had the worst time trying to locate you!Micayle squints at him. He seems vaguely familiar…almost as if he has seen him before. The man continues smiling, albeit a little nervously now since Micayle hasn’t returned the handshake yet. The Scientist quickly gives him the ‘once-over’, glancing over this outfit before standing up and extending his hand in return.
Doctor Remus Micayle: Hello there, you are?
The black man delivers a firm handshake, before letting go of his hand quickly.
: Ahaha, I’m Freddy Woah. I’m not too surprised that we are unfamiliar with one another. I was hired for WCF Wednesday Night, and other than a few other segments and promos here and there, I haven’t really gotten to being the resident ‘go-to’ interviewer like Hank Brown has yet.He grins again.
Freddy Woah: I wasn’t supposed to hunt you down like this, but Hank said that you weren’t interested in entertaining his queries any more, so WCF management decided to send me down this week to get your weekly article instead. I hope I wasn’t disturbing anything…?
A small moment of silence follows, as Micayle continues frowning at Freddy.
Micayle: I was having a cup of tea. But I suppose you can join me for a while. Anyone is better than Hank Brown, I suppose. Come, sit.
The Doctor gestures carelessly towards his coffee table, where he has been sitting for a while now, before heading back to his seat. Freddy eagerly joins him, unpacking his bag on to an unoccupied plush sofa as he does so. Like clockwork, a waiter dressed in the hotel’s service staff garb appears at their side.
Waiter: Good afternoon sir. Would you like a cup of tea as well?
Freddy looks up from his bag, before shaking his head.
Freddy Woah: No thanks, I have water with me.
The waiter bows respectfully, before walking away. Micayle waits coolly as the WCF interviewer extracts a pen, a notepad, as well as a small list of questions on a piece of paper from the briefcase. Finally, with a loud sigh of satisfaction, Freddy turns his attention towards Micayle.
Freddy Woah: Well, shall we get started? My main objective today is to find out your thoughts about Team Science’s main event match against Pantheon for the WCF Tag Team Titles, nothing more. Alright?
Micayle nods nonchalantly. Beaming, Freddy immediately shoots out the first question.
Freddy Woah: Sweet! So, first up. As mentioned, Nathan von Liebert and yourself will be defending the titles one week before Blast. What are your thoughts about the match in general?
However, the Scientist isn’t answering. He’s still busy staring at Freddy Woah. So intently that the interviewer’s smile falters slightly.
Freddy Woah: Doctor Remus?
Micayle: Hang on, I remember you now! You are that stringer who hangs about Steve Orbit perpetually, right? The one who interviewed Orbit’s promo and posted it on WCF.com?
Freddy nods, still a tad confused about the entire situation. Micayle’s expression, on the other hand, hardens considerably.
Micayle: I see… no matter. Let’s get on with the interview. Thoughts about the match later on tonight? Well, Mister Freddy, I am beyond appalled at how Team Science is scheduled to compete in a match one week before our showdown with Doc Henry at Blast. Beyond appalled! I trust you have seen what occurred last week? Between the entire WCF roster and ourselves?
The interviewer nods.
Micayle: It is shocking that despite whatever happened last week, Seth Lerch still thought it a good idea for superstars of our calibre to endanger our bodies recklessly in a cheap attempt to bolster the buy rates for Slam in Australia. HALF of the active roster attacked Nathan and myself last week for no good reason, and instead of compensating us with a week off or a bonus paycheque, Seth forced us to defend our WCF Tag Team Championships for no explicable reason? And against whom?
He pauses for dramatic effect.
Micayle: Steve Orbit and Jayson Price! Two men who have had a love-hate affair for the past few weeks, and for some reason that only makes sense to Seth himself, he decides to put the two clowns up against two of his most capable professional wrestlers? And for the WCF Tag Team Championships!? The WCF Tag Team Championships!?
Micayle seethes, a small vein now bulging prominently from his forehead as he continues his rant.
Micayle: Does Seth Lerch want to destroy the WCF tag team division once again? After what Team Science has done to revitalise the once-sterile landscape? Does this even make sense to you? You offer the chance of a lifetime to two men who obviously hate each other’s guts? Really!? Did he forget the last time he forced wrestlers who hated the sight of one another into a team, he ended up with a tag team division where the reigning champions were scum like Denise D’Evil and Night Rider? And the challengers were BioWalker? Did that sound like a successful division to you?
Acknowledging his growing volume, Micayle calms himself down.
Micayle: Ahem! Believe it or not, this is not a complaint or a whine about having to fight Orbit and Price, despite what it may sound like. For once, they are opponents that are worthy of my calibre and I am relishing the challenge. I just dislike the situations that Seth seem to put his federation into at seemingly random times. Meh, talk about bad business decisions.
Freddy Woah: Ahh, such is management. Sometimes only the decisions they make are discernible to themselves. But there’s hardly a thing we can do about it. The card has been fixed, and all of Australia is buying into the hype of Pantheon versus Team Science. Perhaps he does know what he is doing.
Micayle snorts in derision.
Micayle: Right. Sending two of his top superstars in his federation up against two inferior opponents, how will it turn out? Please. I mean, Orbit and Price may be of considerable aptitude, but just throwing them into a team and expecting them to win against Team Science? You might as well send them into a slaughterhouse to get brutalised. The odds at the local betting house must be incredible if you bet on Pantheon.
A moment of silence follows. Freddy raises one eyebrow at that comment.
Freddy Woah: Oh?
The Scientist stares lazily at the interviewer.
Micayle: You didn’t actually think that I would concede defeat to Orbit and Price, did you?
Freddy Woah: No, but I thought tha—
Unexpectedly, Micayle bursts into laughter.
Micayle: HA HA! You actually thought that Nathan and myself would fall to Pantheon? HA HA HA!
His roars subsiding to soft chuckles, Micayle shakes his head slowly.
Micayle: Oh no, no, no. No, no, no. That is incredibly unlikely to occur. Extremely unlikely as a matter of fact. You see, I am not Caliban, and I do not go in to a match where I stand a significant chance at losing. My reputation as one of WCF’s premier pugilists is on the line every single week, and it is my prerogative to protect it to the best of my ability. Both Nathan and myself understand that just one little slip, just a little slip of concentration, and we would be no better than Adam Young and the rest of the dregs in the locker room.
He leers mockingly.
Micayle: Mister Freddy, I want you to look at me.
Freddy Woah: Um, I am, Docto—
Micayle: No, no. I mean, really look at me. Memorise every ripple of muscle I have on my body. Note my strength and agility and how it seemingly springs out of nowhere. Jot this down. I am quite possibly the ultimate physical specimen - the perfect mixture between brawn, brains, and speed. Look at me, and then reflect on your own impressions of Jayson Price and Steve Orbit.
The Scientist scrunches up his nose in disgust.
Micayle: And I’m only one-half of Team Science. Add in the unpredictability and quickness of Nathan von Liebert, and you have yourself a combination that is difficult to deal with in the ring. Orbit and Price have quite the reputation in terms of wrestling records, I am sure of it, but so do Nathan and myself. They have amassed a large collection of wrestling accomplishments, but so have Team Science. The difference is the amount of time we have spent in the WCF, as I have only just entered the company barely half a year ago. Give me the longevity of Pantheon, and I guarantee you that I’ll have the sam— scratch that, I’ll better their accomplishments. I’m not one to overestimate myself, so I can tell you confidently that I have already surpassed their careers when they were at my current stage. A WCF United States Championship, a WCF Tag Team Championship, and a reputation for being one of the best pound-for-pound fighters in the entire federation? While Jayson Price struggled to defeat Logan in the early stages of his career, I crushed the hot dog loving fool, not once, but twice. While Orbit scrambled to make an impact at ONE, I debuted and claimed victory in my very first match, along with the United States Championship. Enough said.
Micayle: But alas! In this match, I am unfortunately the one that has the most basic resume - another unfortunate result of me joining the WCF later than both of my opponents and Nathan. If you wish to bring up physical accomplishments, I have to face the fact that I will not be able to boast of certain accomplishments - yet. But face it, Mister Freddie, you know as well as I do that this match will be one that neither Orbit or Price will be able to prepare for. A fight is a fight, plain and simple as that. It’s right back to the basics, where each competitor tries to prove himself superior to the other through their fists. No need to brag about winning the WCF World Championship and holding it for X number of days when you know full well that your opponent has never even tried at going for that belt. No obligation for you to shout out to the world of you winning every single title the WCF has to offer when you lose it just mere days after. It just means you lost it in the first place.
He frowns.
Micayle: If it’s what thing Team Science is good at… it’s outlasting the rest in combat. You want to play the brawling game with Team Science? We’ll see if Price’s fragile kidneys and neck will be able to take the punishment that I deal out. Move it to the skies? Let’s bring Nathan in on that and see how you like jumping Oakland-Splash style into a firm uppercut into the soft underside on your chin. Face it: no matter how hard they try to find a weak spot in our assault plan, we’ll just find a way to counter it.
He moves slightly closer to Freddy.
Micayle: The thing about Pantheon is that there seems to be a penchant for underestimating their opponents within the group. I suppose that mindset comes with the territory. Being so far up the figurative mountain tends to make those who are still struggling to scale the sierras seem to be far below them. Both Price and Orbit are at the peak of their career; there’s no denying that. Anyone who tells you that neither of them are gifted is a liar, and a superior human being like me is anything but a fibber. I mean, come on. One’s the current WCF Champion while the other is the Number One Contender for that title. When was the last time that Orbit or Price was even defeated in the ring, for that matter? Are explanations even necessary here?
A flash of… something passes by in his eyes. Is it rage? Or pity?
Micayle: But ultimately, when you are on top, the only way to go from there is down. And down is definitely a direction where they are heading in to - it’s merely an issue of when and who does it. It was a good run for them, yes. But this week, their undefeated streak ends at the hands of the WCF Tag Team Championships. Nathan and myself are this federation’s premier tag team specialists, and I’ll be darned if we fall in battle to a mismatched duo who are currently having problems so big they make the recent ebola outbreak in Africa seem like a joke.
He shakes his head in mock sympathy.
Micayle: Those two are good and gifted wrestlers. But the burning question right now is if they are good enough to contend for Team Science’s birthright. Are they capable of that élan? To win something that requires unquestioned teamwork and chemistry between two people? Are they currently partners who would take a potentially fatal blow for their partner to ensure they come out victorious in a match of this prestige? Are they comrades who are willing to put aside their petty goals and aspirations aside in order to make sure that the greater good is fulfilled? Are Pantheon that? Can Orbit and Price put aside their recent problems with one another to ensure that they can overco— nay, even dream of standing in the same ring as Nathan and myself for one of the most prestigious championships to hold in today’s WCF landscape?
A small pause follows.
Micayle: To that… I say no. No questions asked about that at all.
Freddie doesn’t say anything, instead busily scribbling down notes.
Micayle: I am no expert at inter-stable rivalries, but in my book, teammates who actually want to win championships that require you to work as a team need to do just that; work as a pair rather than two separate individuals. Two men who are in the main event against Team Science - who are the very best in the business currently - need to be at a hundred and one percent focus and possess the same level of camaraderie before they can even think of challenging for our gold. Such people are far and far between, and I can safely tell you that Orbit and Price are amongst those numbers. People who can even dare dream of taking away Nathan’s and my championships do not simply ignore each other in the ring just because they are competing for something at a later date.
Micayle: The naysayers might say that it wasn’t too long ago when Nathan and myself had the same chemistry and trust issues between us. To an extent, that is true. But only to an extent. Everyone knows that when Nathan came to find me, he was at a very troubled place. He suffered amnesia, he had regressed into another personality altogether, he was hurt. In short, he wasn’t himself, and it is extremely difficult to establish a working relationship with someone when he or she isn’t comfortable with himself, even for an astute professional such as myself.
The Scientist scratches an itch on his left earlobe.
Micayle: But we worked hard on that. We fought more than our fair share of fights together, and you - having worked in the business - should know that. Some we were triumphant, some we were not so, but nonetheless, all of them were valuable lessons that we took back and evaluated so that we could perform better in the future. And look at Nathan now! After a few months of working with me, he has managed to return to his original self, and dare I say even better than he was before! He may be missing his signature red hand right now, but in my opinion, that just made him even more of a conqueror today. Incidentally, keep an eye out for that. We’ll have a couple of updates on that end sooner than you might think.
Micayle: I could go on and on forever about how Team Science has defied the odds and made ourselves champions out of a less-than-idea situation, but I shall skip that. The short of it is that Nathan and myself have forged the quintessential tag team relationship. One that is superior. One that is unparalleled. One that is without a shadow of a doubt better than the neglectful team that is Orbit and Price this week. And trust me; that will show when we are in the squared circle. We are miles apart from the lard-filled, disease-ridden alcoholics in Pantheon in terms of our physical attributes, and our redeeming factor - teamwork - just leaves them plain in the dirt, both literally and figuratively.
An uncomfortable silence occurs after that proclamation, with only the sound of scribbling filling the quiet of the conversation. Neither party speaks for several seconds, until finally, Micayle speaks.
Micayle: Mister Woah, do you like horror films?
Freddy looks confused at that random question, a slight frown on his face.
Freddy Woah: Um… yeah, I guess? Why?
Micayle bends forward, a keen look on his face.
Micayle: Fabulous. Because that’s what you are about to see later tonight. When your boys finally manage to square off with Nathan and myself, that’s what it is going to be. A massacre that puts Leatherface to shame. A bout filled with so much brutality that it makes Pumpkinhead and the cult killings look tame. A vicious game in the ring that not even Jigsaw can improve. In approximately… four hours, when Slam kicks off and Pantheon steps into the Acer Arena, I want the WCF Galaxy to understand the fact that despite Pantheon’s very best efforts, despite their prowess in defeating lower-card wrestlers, they will be standing in the ring with two men whom they are going to be completely wrecked by at the end of the night.
Micayle: I don’t know how they did it, and I am not really interested to know what favours they promised in return. But like it or not, Steve Orbit and Jayson Price will be facing Nathan and myself for our gold tonight. OUR WCF Tag Team Championships. And you know what happens when people try to step over their heads and aim to purloin things from Team Science, don’t you?
His face moves even closer towards Freddy. He can see everything from this distance. A small zit below his lip, a couple of beauty marks near his neck, a minute bead of nervous sweat slowly making its way down his forehead… everything.
Micayle: Don’t get me wrong - I’m not issuing a threat towards anyone right now. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
And then, out of nowhere, the Scientist flashes a smile. A smile that instead of accentuating his good features, seem to make him look even more bestial. A small sign of the true Doctor Remus Micayle that lies within the charming exterior.
Micayle: I’m making a promise. A promise that tonight, it won’t be the usual Pantheon victory that some smart marks on the Internet are expecting it to be. A promise that at Slam, it will be Team Science that will be walking out, still the premier tag team to beat in the federation. A promise that I - Doctor Remus Micayle - will be delivering Formulas to both Steve Orbit and Jayson Price. Formulas filled with so much knowledge and discomfort that it’ll take their bodies and brains a few days to get over what I’ve dropped on them. Now, I would prefer they do their self-reflection in the morgue, but I will grudgingly settle for a hospital ward.
His smile grows.
Micayle: I’ve been wanting to get my hands on Pantheon for the longest time, and finally, I get a chance to tussle with two members from that very faction. You have heard how the bout at XIII is beyond brutal, how every single participant in that match suffered injuries of various intensities. Myself included.
Subconsciously, the Scientist clenches a fist.
Micayle: I will not lie. It takes a lot for me to be battled into unconsciousness or amnesia. Whatever happened in Bangkok must have been extraordinary, and up to this day, I have not an inkling on what happened. All I remembered is… it hurting. A lot. A whole, whole lot…
He seems to drift away for a little bit, but then snaps back to focus.
Micayle: But at this current point in time, it matters little to me. For all that I know, I might not have even made it to Thailand, so in my mind, this is the very first time I’m in a bout with those two men. We might never truly know who emerged victorious, Team Thickness or Pantheon, so to me, tonights WCF Tag Team Championship bout offers another chance to paint the canvas the way it should have been coloured in the first place.
He pauses.
Micayle: A five-star classic, where Doctor Remus Micayle and his partner come forth as champions over a lesser team after the Formula has been applied on to their fragmented bodies. Or in tonight’s case… a duo.
Another ugly smirk follows, before Micayle redirects all of his attention towards the interviewer. He squints at Freddy, who fidgets uncomfortably in his seat.
Micayle: So that’s that for the match. For you, Mister Freddy Woah… it’s my time to ask the questions.
That bead of sweat trickles down Freddy’s face silently as he waits in petrified silence. Micayle’s cold eyes slowly analyse his face before Micayle extends a finger towards his face.
Micayle: You seem to be awfully close with Orbit, are you not?
Freddy nods nervously. Micayle continues scrutinising him.
Micayle: And it would be safe to assume that it would… annoy him if anything unfortunate occurred to a friend of him, no? Especially if it’s someone whom he has been seen interacting with frequently on WCF television?
Freddy stays still, his lips pursed tight as more cold sweat breaks out on his forehead. Micayle’s eyes never leave his despite the silence. Finally, after what seems like a tensed eternity, the Scientist breaks out in a small smile.
Micayle: Just a thought. Now, you got everything written down thus far?
Freddy nods, barely hiding his own sigh of relief. The ends of Micayle’s mouth twitch again as he leans back calmly into his chair.
Micayle: Good. Now get out of here before I get the cops to arrest you for trying to sell me cocaine. I’m busy.
His eyes widen at that preposterous and unexpected statement that signals the end of the conversation, before a resigned look comes over his face. Quickly packing up his things, Freddy stands up and dips his head, signalling that he’s about to take his leave. Micayle ignores the friendly gesture, merely narrowing his eyes at the man. The smile on his face sliding away faster than oil on a plate, Freddy hastily makes a move, not eager to remain in the company of the unpleasant Scientist.
Waiter: Excuse me sir, would you like a refill? I notice that your cup of tea is running low.
He breaks contact with the retreating back of Freddy and glances to the right. There stands the same waiter that served Freddy earlier, waiting patiently with a teapot in his hand and a smile on his face as always. Micayle stands up and pats his clothes down, before turning to face the young man with a plastered simper on his face.
Micayle: No, thank you. I’ve got an appointment to catch, and I wouldn’t want my… counterparts to wonder where I am. It’s going to be an educational experience, and I am sure they’ll love it.
