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Post by Deleted on Jan 2, 2014 23:06:39 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2014 19:07:37 GMT -5
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Post by Chelsea Armstrong on Jan 4, 2014 20:38:08 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2014 23:50:31 GMT -5
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jan 6, 2014 12:29:30 GMT -5
4 RP's... crap lol I'll get to them today
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Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2014 14:29:35 GMT -5
Let the thickness take two of them.
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jan 6, 2014 17:38:34 GMT -5
RP: Pouring Out My Heart
Handler: Steele
Overview thoughts: A face to face expression of feelings between Steele and Violet
RP Breakdown
Scene description: 4
Character Development: 5
Shoot: N/A
Flow: 4
Overall Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Critical Review:
I have nothing to review except for what you write. I'm not a fan of reviewing character development pieces because it's not fair for me to review a piece that you put together for your character that isn't geared for competition. So I'm just going to comment on how your character comes across. The scene descrip was fine, short yet informative. The development has no choice but to be at full marks because thats what the piece is. The flow was fine with the break in scenes giving the readers eyes a place to rest. As far as what is written, this is what I was saying bout characters not being wrestlers but they just happen to wrestle. Steele owns multiple night clubs and has a family ( or had a family ) whats his motivation to wrestle? Wrestling puts him at risk and keeps him away from running a successful business, let alone many. Then you talk with your girlfriend and we get the inside of how they met. I get the sense that Steele isnt a good judge of character, although i see that hes very upset over whats going on and that he does really care.
Theres nothing i can say that isnt going to insult your writing for this character. Theres nothing to critique with out me telling you the choices that you've made for your characters back story is "wrong." I don't wana do that because it's not right.
HOWEVER
what it there, style wise, is very good. I'd actually like to read a match with your character and see what you can do.
Suggestions:
N/A
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jan 6, 2014 18:30:38 GMT -5
RP: A New Year With Big Changes
Handler: Stacy Robinson
Overview thoughts:
A change in stacys personality and look for the new year
RP Breakdown
Scene description: 4
Character Development: 3
Shoot: 1
Flow: 4
Overall Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Critical Review:
Stacy wants to change her ways. A fine concept for the new year but she does it to please herself over her notion that shes did it in the first place to please Matt- even though he didnt expressly say it. Stacy was the " queen" to please matt even though she admittedly that he's not that way, it was just her low self esteem. OK, cool- lets see the new stacy. Scene Descrip. This fed does fine with description, everything is very informative and fits nicely into the flow of things. The development was slight, the rp was short. You brushed the basics of what you wanted to do. giving simple reasons for the change. The shoot wasn't there though. You mentioned Atreyu briefly. It was if Atreyu didnt matter. You just burped that match up. You saying you'll beat him isnt shoot. You and everyone else should want to win the win- its a given. The flow of the promo was average. went smooth and paced thiungs along just fine
Suggestions:
Dive into your CD a bit more, give us a better picture
Shoot. E fedding is competitive. The match shoot is your competitive part of the piece.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2014 19:09:12 GMT -5
Thanks for the feedback on both of those, I'll certainly try and work more on my shoot, I know many people probably say this but I tend to find it easier when shooting on someone if they've already posted before me. It's no excuse I know, because someone has to RP first of course, and a lot of people don't have problems shooting on someone when they're first to post. I'm going to try and work hard on my shoot in the future. Thanks
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Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2014 23:02:57 GMT -5
That depends on who you're shooting on, Stacy. It sometimes can be hard if the person you're facing isn't established here and is new like you, but if you're facing someone who has been here a while, you have more material to work with (their failures or things they've said in their promos or segments on the show, etc.). Then again, even if they're new, they may have possibly been elsewhere before.
There's always the idea of focusing the match shoot mainly on why YOU will win rather than trying to tear down your opponent(s).
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Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2014 10:45:17 GMT -5
GD hit it on the head. Honestly, what I usually do with my opponents is talk them up. Say some good things about them, and then proclaim that I'm still better than them. People seem to dig that style from what they've told me. Plus it saves you from having to do a shit ton of research every week lol.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2014 11:04:25 GMT -5
Yeah I get what you guys are saying, I also got some pointers from Odin via PM on how I can improve my shoot.
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jan 7, 2014 22:52:29 GMT -5
RP: Only Time Will Tell
Handler: CBA
Overview thoughts:
Chelsea has strong emotional conflict with her WCF ties and going forward in the company
RP Breakdown
Scene description: 5
Character Development: 5
Shoot: 5
Flow: 5
Overall Rating: 5 out of 5
Critical Review:
I think this is the first perfect rating I've given someone and it is really well deserved. Scene Descrip. a lot of little things go a long way in driving scene description. You tied in emotion and colors and it really brought everything to life. CD- The talks with Seifer were very organic and showed the internal pains that both characters are going through over Chelsea's career. Its nice to show that her success comes at a personal price. shoot: You really explored the space against your opponents and flushed everything out very well. I now want to see chelsea win. It's that Chelsea wants it and is very determined to get it. That knock out punch I've been talking about it shown here through out the shoot and it was very nice to read. Flow.Everything moved along nicely and nothing felt cluttered or forced
Suggestions:
None.
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Post by Chelsea Armstrong on Jan 7, 2014 23:46:14 GMT -5
Wow, thank you so so so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it  Definitely honored to get a perfect score from you, i'll make sure to write more like that lol. Again thank you for the feedback |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 9, 2014 13:47:16 GMT -5
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Post by Chelsea Armstrong on Jan 10, 2014 23:19:19 GMT -5
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Post by Odin Balfore on May 16, 2014 13:02:00 GMT -5
I figure to try and start this up again and see how it goes. It went very well last time but got overwhelming. So here goes a second shot:
If you want feedback from me specifically, post the link to the RP here and I'll get to it as time allows and in the order in which request are given. Below is my grading template for those who are not familiar with it. The system is based "out of 5." Mainly due to the fact that a 10 scale would be difficult to keep accurate. I do not judge off of personal tastes. I take an objective approach from a readers stand point. Things like style and coding arnt taken into consideration unless they really hinder the flow and feel of the piece.
REMINDER: SETH IS THE ONLY JUDGE IN WCF.
( we have very different opinions from time to time. )
NOTE: DUE TO THE NATURE OF THEIR CONTENTS, I WILL NO LONGER REVIEW CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT PROMOS.
NOTE: THE SCALE IS MEANT TO BUILD STRENGTHS AND IMPROVE ABILITY. NOT TO BRING ANYONE DOWN
**a attempt to satisfy a perfect score in this template may not guarantee a victory in your respective match**
__________________________________________
RP:
Handler:
Overview thoughts:
RP Breakdown
Scene description:
Character Development:
Shoot:
Flow:
Overall Rating: out of 5
Critical Review:
Suggestions:
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Post by Doc Henry on May 16, 2014 14:42:46 GMT -5
Well he'll, if'n your doing this... Feel free to comment on my one last week, I'm kinda curious how other see it, it was the one I used my IPhone's dictation feature.... Runnin' with the Bull... Dykes... |
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2014 17:47:55 GMT -5
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Post by Odin Balfore on May 16, 2014 19:27:12 GMT -5
__________________________________________
RP: Runnin' with the bull.. dykes.
Handler: Doc Henry
Overview thoughts: A small RP that gives some insight into docs frustration.
RP Breakdown
Scene description: 3
Character Development: 3
Shoot: 2
Flow:3
Overall Rating: 3 out of 5
Critical Review: Docs a whole lot of no nonsense and thats one thing he's solid on every week. This promo shows just that but it also shows how annoyed the character is with getting shafting in the previous weeks. The promo is small and theres not alot to work from but mary showing her " chocolate mounds" made me laugh. The description is fine, it's minimal but it works for the style of the piece. Docs aggravation shows through and. it serves to extnd character development that makes me want to read more into the promo. However, the shoot was not there outside of docs frustration. Doc has clear ambitions and I would like to see that shine through but he just touches on them in this promo and it leaves the piece feeling flat.
Suggestions:
Explore your frustrations with the character and transfer that into match shoot against your opponents. With a rich history like Docs, it really shouldn't be a problem. You always have solid work and you RP consistently. But with as much history as you have, you gotta try and take that jump from low-mid card to main event; or else new talent will pass you by.
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e-tell 
