Post by DVS on Jan 28, 2015 17:20:35 GMT -5
|The Songs of Jest [Pt. 6] | Payback Roleplay No. 6 |
| Continued from The Songs of Jest Series [Pt. 1] - [Pt. 2] – [Pt. 3] – [Pt. 4] | [Pt. 5] |
| Continued from The Songs of Jest Series [Pt. 1] - [Pt. 2] – [Pt. 3] – [Pt. 4] | [Pt. 5] |
The image is that of an animated cartoon as illustrated by Matt Groening; so in essence it resembles the television classic - 'The Simpsons'. Dan Van Slade, dressed in the threads of a Super Deviant, superimposed, stands atop the earth as a finale of fireworks blast behind him with his cape proudly waving. The comic Adonis poses with hands on his hips and a great glistening smile. His hair is gelled back with a single black curl draping his forehead. He winks.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” states the voice over from Mathew McConaughey in a wonderfully gentle-southern tone, “These are the Adventures of the Super Deviant,” and then blackness is followed with the sound effect from the hit show 'Law and Order'.
The Super Deviant stands before Tom Peters and the Mayor of Jefferton as the scene suddenly shifts from an episode of the Simpsons to a version of the cult classic 'Tom Goes to the Mayor'. The oddly animated visual shifts to Tom and the Mayor as they stand side-by-side making strange faces at the Super Deviant.
“And you're supposed to be...?” The Mayor asks as he extends his arm out toward the Super Deviant. Tom chimes in with a silly look on his face.
“He looks like Superman, and Jefferton could use a superhero,” Tom intervenes as the Super Deviant confronts both men.
“Gentlemen,” The Super Deviant states. Tom and the Mayor look at the Deviant with looks of disgust on their face. Many faces of disgust. That's because the Super Deviant has suddenly turned into a Dan Van Slade version of pop sensation Meghan Trainor. The Deviant is engulfed in the fantasy as he smiles wide, and then backs up into the live music video of the Deviant's version to the smash hit, and he pushes back his blonde hair...
“BECAUSE YOU KNOW I'M ALL ABOUT DEBASE, 'BOUT DEBASE, 'BOUT DEBASE...” and then he pauses for a brief moment and the music stops.
A gigantic Buddha's head appears. He winks, and smiles with pride.
“NO TLEBBLE!” The Buddha's head states, and continues to smile.
The journey continues through a winding, spinning, twisting vortex that sends the Super Deviant down the animated tunnel represented by the illustrations of Tom Judge; the creator of 'Beavis and Butthead' and 'King of the Hill'. There are objects floating within the whirlwind as the Super Deviant speeds passed them and toward an unknown destination. Strands of barbed wire. Chairs that are marching in line like soldiers marching into battle. Ladders. Kendo sticks. Irons. Brass knuckles. Thumb tacks. The Deviant dodges the items as he flies passed like a missile.
The Fortress of Magnitude. The crystalline cavern on the circulating island that encompasses Planet Hipton. The Super Deviant stands before a hologram projection of his father, King Jebediah. The scene instantly evolves to resemble the animated Adult Swim classic William Street creation 'Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law'. The Super Deviant is dressed in a dark blue suit, with a light blue dress shirt and red complimenting tie. His father is the epitome of a king – wearing a beautiful red robe and a golden crown covered in the teeth of his enemies.
“Show no mercy,” King Jebediah tells his son with a deep and formidable tone, “you will show no mercy, and you will take no prisoners. Lay the foundation. Rebuild it in your image.”
The Super Deviant is suddenly running down a long silver pathway that seems to stretch beyond the cosmos. Chasing behind him, but not too far, is a gigantic steel chair with the face of WCF superstar Maelstrom. Trailing Maelstrom at quite a distance is a pillow with the face of the WCF Hardcore Champion – 'The Mack' Steve Orbit.
“And I says to myself – I says...” the Maelstrom chair states as it sways back and forth to glide through the netherworld of the subconscious in a chase after the Deviant. “And I SAYS to myself I says!” It continues to shout in different tones of voice, from high, to low, to tones that change the sentences meaning. “And I says to MYSELF I says. And I says to myself...I says?” The Steve Orbit pillow chimes in.
“Memory foam,” the pillow says, “memory foam – memory foam...memory foam...MEM...ORY...FOAM...” and it continues to sluggishly lag behind and slithers awkwardly like a salted snail in a graceful attempt to stay in the race.
The Deviant peers over his shoulder, but smirks and turns to face the glowing orb that's floating before him. His journey comes to an end as he lunges forward and dives head first inside the golden orb. He lands in a tuck-and-roll, then stands to go eye-to-eye with a silent giant. This, as illustrated in the same concept of 'Aqua Teen Hunger Force'.
“Pimpzillain,” The Deviant states. Standing before him – a behemoth black amphibious mass with scales made of suede and and tiny demon hookers clenching to mountainous spikes bulging from it's back. The monster glares down at the tiny Deviant and shoots smoke from it's nostrils. “What's wrong? CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE?” The Deviant questions.
A gigantic gray cat, wearing a t-shirt that says 'My Deviant Loves Me', comes destructively tearing through the city. It vocalizes it's anger with a rumbling meow that takes Pimpzillain by surprise. The Deviant has summoned the great Cat Kong, and the feline heaves itself toward the fire breathing demigod. The cat grabs Pimpzillain by the mouth and rips its jaw open with great ease. He reaches into the great depths of the monster's trap, and with one violent tug – he shreds the monster's tongue and rips it from his maw. Cat Kong holds the tongue in the air and begins to dance in the streets of the city.
Dan Van Slade lifts his head up from the dining room table after passing out from copious cocaine hits and several bottles of rich, dark stout. He can barely open his eyes. He's barely moved a muscle on his face. His hair is disheveled. He looks to the left, the right, and then stares at the vase filled with kendo sticks centered on the table.
“Man,” the Deviant softly says, “that's some...real good shit...”
Weapon No. 5: Brass Knuckles
If there's one thing the Deviant loves more than a steel chair – it's a loyal pair of brass knuckles. It's a weapons concept that dates back hundreds of years. It's an international concept known by Nihang Sikhs as the Sher Panja; they're legal in Brazil and sold freely as 'Soco Ingles' which translates to 'English Punch'. Soldiers during the American Civil War would melt their lead bullets to make a set. The rounded rings focuses the impact of blows. A slug from one of these babies is going to cause increased tissue disruption and instant bone fractures. It's one hell of an offense.
That is, of course, if the defense becomes nonexistent. There is a defense against the brass knuckles, much like there's ways around a steel chair, or any weapon. Mainly – you just have to take it like a fuckin' man and try not to let the melee of knuckle dustin' continue. However – you gotta get a shot in for these bad boys to work properly; and the shot has to fuckin' count. No pussy stuff. Anything south of masculine is going to put a damper in any plans you have with a good set of knucklebusters.
What is there left to say? Everybody understands that the brass knuckles will seemingly end someone. What they don't understand is how to properly use them to get to that point. Offenders, like 'The Mack' Steve Orbit, can't be hassled with an idiot coming at them with these juggernaut knuckes. Great wrestlers hustle, so you've gotta be on your A-game. The brass knuckles are another desperation tactic used for obvious pacification. The beholder must know when to strike, and must do so quick with no remorse. Proper use is critical. Know your weapon, and use it wisely. It may make you, or unfortunately break you.
Radio Transcript
| Let's Talk Wrasslin' with Papa El Dorado | WRZL1400 | January 26, 2015 | Special Guest: The Super Deviant |
| Let's Talk Wrasslin' with Papa El Dorado | WRZL1400 | January 26, 2015 | Special Guest: The Super Deviant |
Theme Song: “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns N' Roses
Papa El Dorado: It's another wonderful Winter morning, so pour yourself a hot cup of coffee, sit down with Papa El Dorado, and let's talkin some WRASSLIN'!
Sound Effect: A group of men punch each other; fist against face. Loud grunts, growls, yelling.
High Pitched Opera Singer: LEEEEEEEEEETS...
A Small, Two Year Old Child: TAWK...
A Deep and Powerful Voice: WRASSLIN'!
Papa El Dorado: Is today any different than yesterday?
Sound Effect: Cha-ching, a register drawer opens.
Manager Mike: Nah, Paps. Got some E-mails over night about some bull crap still goin' on between a few disgruntled former WCF stars, and some guy in Japan who does actual magic in the ring.
Sound Effect: A crowd chanting 'HOLY SHIT-HOLY SHIT-HOLY SHIT'
Papa El Dorado: Oh, yea – I've heard of him. He made some guy disappear during a match.
Manager Mike: It's some real strange stuff, Paps. We're talkin' some crazy ass surreal stuff. I'd go on to list some examples, but I already know nobody will believe that crap. Live audiences claim it happens right there in the flesh.
Papa El Dorado: I remember when a simple enzuguri could simply make a man disappear. Hit him so hard in the side of the head that he never returns to reality.
Sound Effect: The same bit heard when somebody fails to win on the show 'The Price is Right.'
Manager Mike: Nothin' like that. He just throws down the ole' WHOOSH...and then your GONE.
Papa El Dorado: Times are changing. People are getting desperate. I mean – seriously – how is that a challenge?
Manager Mike: It's not.
Papa El Dorado: How would you like to be easing in on the finish, right in the center of the ring, and then all of a sudden you wind up in the center aisle of some local Japanese store about to hit your finisher on a cardboard cut out of Maelstrom for Super Toryu Energy.
Manager Mike: Messed up, Paps. Real messed up.
Sound Effect: Lil Wayne saying 'aint that a bitch'.
Papa El Dorado: That's not professional wrestling. That's professional entertainment. This crap is getting out of control. Elderly women giving birth to hands, homosexuals, women, hermaphrodites, cross-dressers, out-of-touch reality, no reality, BUGS, monsters, Corey Black. Seriously, the proverbial poo is just WHIPPING off the fan blades. Pandora's Box equals open. There's no doubt in my mind that we've dumbed the product and accepted the fate of this industry.
Manager Mike: I wouldn't say all the product has been dumbed down. I mean – some of it goes without sayin' – but, a lot of it is really freakin' intelligent.
Papa El Dorado: I dunno. I'm kinda old fashioned. I like a good, quick, shoot; clean, simple and to the point. Some of this crap these kids are putting out today is wild, Mike. I mean, really freakin' wild. It's pure desperation. Glorified crap. Wisenheimers. Legit Wisenheimers. Papa don't stand for it, and Papa won't.
Manager Mike: Meh – it's not terrible. I've already mentioned that if you look passed the schizoid shenanigans you're gonna find pure gold. Some of these kids have come complete with such a rich and complex character that gives more credit to the battle. Any name looks decent on paper, but they've gotta bring the substance. They have to be substantial. You've kind of guided yourself into the circle of trust that dogs the philosophy in their own ways, but somehow you never win. The product is still being put out, and people like it. So, you've got no argument aside from opinions.
Sound Effect: A young woman saying 'OH...MY...GAWD...”
Papa El Dorado: What did you put in your coffee this morning?
Manager Mike: [Laughs]
Papa El Dorado: [Laughing] Valet Vickie! What did you put in Mike's coffee this morning!?
Valet Vickie: I thought I put a laxative in there.
Sound Effect: Profuse farting; soft, loud, wet.
[Simultaneous laughter]
Papa El Dorado: It was an oral laxative.
Valet Vickie: That's exactly it...
Sound Effect: Somebody shouting 'I'VE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA...'
Manager Mike: Suck it.
Papa El Dorado: OK, we've got a caller...LANCE...LANCE from Idaho...let's talk some wrasslin'...
Lance: He-hey, hey-hello?
Papa El Dorado: Yes! Yes – Lance – what's up, man?
Lance: Duuuuuude! Papa El Dorado! WHAT UUUUUP!?
Valet Vickie: Lance, turn off the radio in the background.
Lance: K, one sec.
Sound Effect: A crowd boos.
Manager Mike: Turn that crap off, brah.
Valet Vickie: Don't call him brah, pal.
Papa El Dorado: He's not your pal, guy...um...girl...
Lance: K, dudes, I'm back.
Sound Effect: A crowd cheers.
Papa El Dorado: Alright, Lance, how's it goin'? How's...Idaho?
Lance: Not bad, dude. Life's been pretty peachy. Can't complain. Didn't really call to do that.
Manager Mike: Well, we thank you for that.
Papa El Dorado: How's wrasslin' in Idaho, Lance?
Lance: Extinct. Wrasslin' doesn't love Idaho, Paps.
Papa El Dorado: Is Idaho still a state?
Valet Vickie: Yes.
Manager Mike: The Potato Company?
Valet Vickie: Yes.
Papa El Dorado: Lance – correct me if I'm wrong – but you're 19 years old?
Lance: Yes! How'd you know?
Papa El Dorado: Well, you answered a bunch of questions before being able to go on air with me. One of these answers has my jiblets jumping for joy. When we asked you who your favorite wrestler was – you said...
Lance: Logan.
Manager Mike: Logan?
Valet Vickie: Really?
Sound Effect: A random guy saying 'That's...pretty gay...'
Lance: Yeah, dude's a beast.
Papa El Dorado: It's no wonder wrestling is extinct in Idaho, although the best thing that would go with a Hot Dog King would be a Potato Princess. But, seriously Lance, your favorite wrestler is...Logan?
Lance: For sure, dude. What's wrong with that?
Manager Mike: I'm not even going to begin. Lance, how long have you been listening to our show?
Lance: I dunno – prolly like...two...three years I guess.
Manager Mike: Were you conscious while you were listening?
Sound Effect: A black guy shouting 'OH SNAP!'
Lance: I mean – um...yeah?
Manager Mike: Something's not right here.
Valet Vickie: Obviously a case of the Idiots.
Manager Mike: Confirmed.
Papa El Dorado: Ok, so back on topic here. Lance – let me ask you the one question they didn't ask. Lance – what are your thoughts and feelings on the state of professional wrestling?
Manager Mike: His favorite wrestler is Logan, Paps. This is a pretty standard rhetorical question.
Lance: Dude, Mike – back up.
Sound Effect: A random guy yells 'AW SHIT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!'
Manager Mike: You're on the radio, kid. You're about nine hundred miles away. Don't come at me with that cocky crap. Sit down, shut up, and answer the damn question.
Valet Vickie: Gobbled you up, son.
Sound Effect: The character Smokey, played by Chris Tucker, in Friday – 'YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED THE [EXPLETIVE] OUT!'
Lance: Really? Did that just happen?
Valet Vickie: Gobble-gobble!
Lance: Damn, ya'll foolin' me...
Papa El Dorado: Answer the question, Lance...
Lance: K, um...well, I like wrestling. That's pretty obvious. I think where it's at now is, on its own level, some pretty fun stuff. There's a lot of great characters out there. A lot of awesome companies. I really like what WCF has done with their product lately. Truly some great stuff. Honestly – the future looks pretty bright...
Papa El Dorado: Truly. Honestly.
Manager Mike: Mindblowing.
Papa El Dorado: Lance – thanks for the call.
Manager Mike: Damn. Just...damn.
Papa El Dorado: It's inexplicable retardation.
Valet Vickie: Look who just arrived.
Papa El Dorado: Oh! Yes! Ladies and gentlemen, speak of the Devil! Our guest has arrived, let's welcome WCF Superstar and co-number one contender to the WCF Hardcore Championship, something he's fighting for at Payback next Sunday, folks...THE SUPER DEVIANT.
Manager Mike: Awwww...snap!
Sound Effect: A crowd cheers.
The Super Deviant: Hello.
Papa El Dorado: Hello!
Manager Mike: Tell us, Dan...you ready to talk some wrasslin'?
Papa El Dorado: Say yes! Say yes!
The Super Deviant: I suppose I am.
Papa El Dorado: Oh! That's super duper!
Sound Effect: Ron Burgandy, played by Will Ferrel in the film Anchorman – 'SUPER DUPER, GANG!'
The Super Deviant: You don't have to call me Dan, by the way. Super Deviant is fine, or The Deviant. You don't have to call me Dan.
Papa El Dorado: Dan, what's it been like? I love to ask the rookies of WCF a few months into their run. I would have loved a go at WCF, but it isn't my cup of tea. But, tell us – what's it been like?
The Super Deviant: It's been wonderful, and everything I've ever imagined.
Manager Mike: I hate to interrupt, but I gotta chime in rightchquick – you were an award winning wrestler at Minnesota?
The Super Deviant: So it says, yes.
Manager Mike: That's pretty B-A, brosef. You'd expect someone of your stature would have gone on to do something far different than professional wrestling.
Papa El Dorado: Yeah, you were like a 3.5 GPA student, or some garbage like that. What are you doing dressing up like a comic book character and grappling with guys on a weekly basis?
The Super Deviant: The same reason you call yourself 'Papa El Dorado' and talk about wrestling on the radio – because we [expletive]in' can and we [expletive]in' will. I don't really give a crap about what I'd be able to do with a college degree from a top ranked University, or my intelligence. I'll use it when it's necessary. Right now – I'm having too much fun displaying another talent of mine that seems to be making more of an impact on my life. I'm a wrestler, and I've proved that. But, I'm also the Super Deviant. [Expletive] all the haters. I'm the real shit, Paps. I'm just gonna' eat it. EAT IT. Eat that shit up. Aint not a single mother[expletive]er in that locker room with balls big enough to challenge my very presence. Not one.
Papa El Dorado: Oh, we all beg to differ. There's a lot of people out there who are completely against you. Some have absolutely no idea how you're doing it. Seriously, how are you doing it?
The Super Deviant: What do you mean? Winning?
Manager Mike: How are you a wrestler? You're not very good at it.
Papa El Dorado: OH! No he didn't.
Sound Effect: A black woman snaps her fingers and says 'AW NAW HE DIT ANT!'
Valet Vickie: ...did it.
The Super Deviant: What a ludicrous thing to say. I am where I am at because I deserve it. Smart people understand that. I understand the concept far better than any man; or woman for that matter. It's a feared idea to know there's somebody out there who is so natural that he's supernatural. A true wonder of the world. Look at the men I've already ended.
Manager Mike: Who? Warpath? Caleb Collins? Hardcore Alex? How's that anything to brag about?
The Super Deviant: Because I'm making a clear wager here, and you can't even lay a finger on it without taking a detour to attack my integrity. It's clear that I'm makin' a bet, and come Payback – I bet somebody's career is coming to an end. This time – it'll have some meaning to it.
Papa El Dorado: So – you bet that you're capable of ending the career of either Maelstrom or Steve Orbit?
Manager Mike: [Laughs]
Papa El Dorado: Hey, while you're up there – tell us what your anus looks like.
Manager Mike: Oh! [Laughs].
The Super Deviant: I might end both. It's not clear if Steve Orbit is even going to show up. There's a rumor that he's kindly pussing out and walking boldly into defeat. Hell – I've even been told he's probably going to lay down for me after he beats the Mr. Clean right out of Maelstrom.
Papa El Dorado: None of that crap is true, and you know it.
Manager Mike: Mack was on the show last week.
The Super Deviant: Screw that bastard. I'm gunnin' to end him first, but it doesn't matter. One way or the other – I've got'em both by their tiny little balls.
Papa El Dorado: What exactly have you proved? You're the most extraneous character in the company. You march around thinking you're a real superhero. You serve no purpose. I have this gut feeling you're going to destroy the hardcore division, and just add the sideshow circus that wrestling has become.
The Super Deviant: That...that really hurts, Paps. But, as for serving no purpose – that's slightly true. But, only slightly. You see – I most certainly serve a purpose. There are moments in your life that obnoxiously intervene and it sets you back from your goals due to its abstract battle. That's me. I'm that moment in your life when you least expect a setback. I'm the burden. Harbinger of the future; and that's a small stab at those pansy-ass [expletive]'s in the Pantheon. [Expletive] every one of'em. Don't like me? [Expletive] you. Extraneous? [Expletive] that shit – I'm the most dangerous wrestler this industry has ever seen, Paps. Undeniably dangerous.
Papa El Dorado: Dan, let's take a quick step back and ask you the question we asked our first caller today.
Manager Mike: I'm makin' some popcorn.
Sound Effect: Popcorn kernels popping.
Papa El Dorado: Dan, we want to know your views of the industry. What's the State of Professional Wrestling...?
Manager Mike: Such a valid discussion for today's generation.
The Super Deviant: Nothing has really changed, Paps. Everything that happens in that ring is the only thing that matters; and if it's made any change – it's the evolution of mat wrestling. The incorporation of no holds barred, lucha libre, high stakes risk taking, filler entertainment; all of this has necessarily affected what we do in the ring. In the end – the art of grappling and the ingenuity of straight up raw-as-[expletive] fighting – it doesn't change the outcome. Everybody that's a member of the WCF roster, no matter their sexual disposition, gender, deviant background, or no background at all, they'll fight your ass to the death – and they'll do it well. So, so – wrestling has definitely taken a sharp left turn into left field and out of that came some really strange shit. I've got a few stories I'm sure you'd all enjoy hearing.
Manager Mike: I'd love to hear'em rightchnaw, do you feel me?
Papa El Dorado: Yes – I concur. Do tell...
The Super Deviant: Joining WCF did something to me that's only reminiscent of a prepubescent teenager being devirginized. Desensitized. That's the State of Professional Wrestling, and especially WCF.
Papa El Dorado: So...what you're telling us is that the WCF took your virginity?
Sound Effect: A guy shouts – 'V CARD BABY!'
The Super Deviant: A figure of speech, but it's slightly reminiscent, yes. Once you're in – you're in – and if you have even one modicum of talent – there's no going back. However, the clutches of this creature takes an even stranger twists. You're sucked into a time warp; a sudden shift in reality. I'm having crazy [expletive]in' dreams, and I'm losin' my [expletive]in' mind being a super hero. Shits getting real, and real fast. The abstraction that the WCF has created is explained in multiple ways. Personally – I see it as what it is – the true art form of the industry, and the absolute epitome of the game. As for the many other promotions a float in the vast oceans of the industry – the same goes for them as well; they wouldn't be succeeding if there wasn't an interest in their cause, so something's going right. The WCF is the spirit in the wind, Paps. That's the place where sojourners become legends, and rightfully so – this is your standard Pantheon of Professional Wrestling; and no – I'm not talking about that [expletive]in' sculpted turd carved-up by that schlemiel ninny piece of crap, Corey Black.
Manager Mike: He's obviously notably irritated that he wasn't invited to be one of 'the Future' that Corey Black is building for the newest variation of the Pantheon...
The Super Deviant: I could care less, it just gives me something to talk about, and something to say horrible things about.
Papa El Dorado: Well, everybody knows my stance on Professional Wrestling, but I like what you've said, and we can definitely build on that for the rest of the show. However, we don't have too much time, so I'd like to think that you've got some stuff to add about Payback? Big night, next Sunday. This is your...second pay-per view?
The Super Deviant: That's correct. I don't discuss the first appearance. Not my finest moment.
Manager Mike: That's because you all got straight freakin' owned by Jayson Price.
The Super Deviant: Talk to me when you're able to see your genitals, Mike.
Sound Effect: A crowd cheers.
Manager Mike: Oh, look – a fat joke.
The Super Deviant: Oh, look – a radio jockey who talks shit...
Sound Effect: A crowd cheers.
Papa El Dorado: OK, OK, boys – let's get back on topic because we're running out of time; and Mike – you're not fat. You pleasantly portray a more proud and round version of the human race.
Manager Mike: That's rather...comforting.
The Super Deviant: I tend to defecate something round and proud twice daily.
Sound Effect: A crowd cheers.
Manager Mike: Ok, Vickie, enough with the God damned cheering...
Papa El Dorado: Dan, take a shot at my questions from a moment ago...
The Super Deviant: Paps – the fact of the matter is – WCF is where it's at. This is what Beck is singin' about. This is what the streets are talkin' about. We're envied across the globe. The place is swarming with talent; filled to the brim and exploding with raw aggression. This is an artist's interpretation of the industry, and it goes without saying – it's a God damned success story. Payback will prove this. This is a continuation of the greatest concept ever established for this industry. The card is jam packed, thought provoking, and it brings up many debates. Personally – I'm only interested in myself, but there's a few matches that make this show look better than ONE. That could also be because I'm in my second title match in a month, this time for the Hardcore Championship. That coke on a pole match? Oh me, oh my. I'm hoping that Bobby Cairo wins; one – because I fucking loathe Zombie McMorris, and two – because I hope he rolls up some Poon Guinea currency and snorts a couple kilos until his heart explodes. A [expletive]in' two-fer-one special. I'm hoping Steeltoe Joe is capable of performing against ICE Beckman. I get this sense of disappointment from the Holy Flame. It's typical – just when you think there's somebody strong enough to go toe-to-toe with Natty ICE – you're left in a dust of disappointment. Joe has time, and that's the beauty; but it's also the curse. You don't want to give ICE any time, since time is ICE's greatest strength. That mother[expletive]er will take all the time in the world to chisel you down into a tiny little idol that'll look great on his chess board. I'm looking to tack-on to the demise of the Vapor Kings. So, I ask you Paps – what does a Deviant, a Poon Saint, and a Holy Flame have in common?
Papa El Dorado: That's a really simple question.
Manager Mike: Yeah, there's no riddle to that. You've already explained it.
The Super Deviant: Precisely. This year – Payback begins the redefinition of this company at the hands of the new wave. The cyclical pattern of this game lands on the newest trend hitting the internet, stroking the smarks, and shocking the entire world. You see, a lot of people see me, and guys like Kaz, or Dune, or Gonzo, as the incarnation from the ashes. I can't complain with that. Payback will be when most of the pieces begin falling into place, and the plan to outright and cooperatively end the Vapor Kings takes full effect. It only takes the sacrifice of one, and how poetically appropriate is it for them to choose Steve Orbit as their lamb against ME? ME - among the likes of Bobby Cairo and Steeltoe Joe. A [expletive]in' honor and a most amazing gesture.
Manager Mike: You don't give Maelstrom enough credit, Dan. This is a scorned man ready to whoop your ass, buddy. I mean – you've really proven to be a thorn in his side.
Papa El Dorado: We've been trying to get Maelstrom on the show since he debuted, but he's been too busy promoting his energy drink in Japan.
Manager Mike: That stuff is pretty nasty.
Papa El Dorado: It's just water, sugar, and Maelstrom's sweat.
Sound Effect: A young girl says – 'ohmygod, like, ew.'
The Super Deviant: Maelstrom has a lot of catching up to do. He's fallen behind, and I don't think we'll be able to see what he's truly made of, yet. I know that I'm a difficult guy to challenge, but you'd think that this guy would be a tad more vengeful. A real disappointment. Yes indeed.
Papa El Dorado: Alright, well thank you Dan and good luck next Sunday. That's right, folks! Next Sunday it's WCF Payback, and if you're anybody – you'll be tuning in to see The Super Deviant taking on Maelstrom and the WCF Hardcore Champion, Steve Orbit, in a match that will be remembered for quite some time. It's just one of the many action-packed and memorable matches you'll catch next Sunday Night. We've got SO MUCH MORE, so let's talk some wrasslin'! After this...
- | Commercial Cut | -
[ - End Transcript - ]
[To Be Continued in The Songs of Jest Part Seven]
[ - End Transcript - ]
[To Be Continued in The Songs of Jest Part Seven]