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Post by Joey Flash on Mar 12, 2015 16:11:34 GMT -5
Aight cocksuckers. Unload on me, I dunno which style I enjoy more, the short more deliberate style or the longer more intricate story based shit. Interested in thoughts about both the style and the RP's as a whole. wcfwrestling.proboards.com/thread/23617/woke-morning-got-shrinkwcfwrestling.proboards.com/thread/23581/flash-before-eyesI'd really like to get into the more absurdist type shit some writers here use, but it just doesn't fit with the tone I groove with. A fuccin shame. What would you avid readers like to see more of in Joey RP's? Is the serialized story shit still working? He's for everyone to enjoy so I welcome any input!
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Post by occulo on Mar 12, 2015 16:22:37 GMT -5
Your Slam RP was done with the relaxed confidence mirrored by Joey on his bench outside the stadium. Both story and shoot were done with assertive ease and showed no signs of the now defeated Joey being physically and perhaps more importantly, mentally harmed by Grime's accomplishment. The short but with no doubt sweet and piercing character development at the end introduced us to a new character whose knowledge and power over Joey mirrored how Joey had been psychologically ahead of all his opponents, but now met his match with this stern psychiatrist. The echoes of Melfi from The Sopranos can be forgiven as the writer has shown a sincere love for the character and so will no doubt pay homage to her by making Edwards a strong and recurring character.
Your XIII RP began with a bang and I could argue perhaps too much. What if you cut away from Joey's hostage situation just as things were reaching their most intense and carried it on after the shoot? The reader's knowledge that Joey was in fact in a situation where his life was in danger, but then went on to read Joey in the present confidently shooting down this strong force in the name of the Pantheon would create a sense of heroism in Flash, and would therefore put Joey's colours around our necks and root for him as we rejoined him against Vincenzo and celebrate when he finally won with the help of Alessandra. The shoot itself was rare one, with Joey putting himself in the hallowed, gold halls of the WCF hall of fame where the ghosts of Price and Purse were breathing down his neck. But the ever confident Joey was a mere child in a boring art gallery dismissing each piece on the wall and wondering why such a simple work would garner so much praise and respect, thinking he could so very easily repeat these acts and do a much better job. The whole theme of Joey being the underdog in the face of strong adversity created a great deal of support for Joey despite the crystal palace and evident great accomplishments of the pantheon which Joey tused as a weapon against them with ease.
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Post by Gemini Battle on Mar 12, 2015 16:43:06 GMT -5
Your Slam RP was done with the relaxed confidence mirrored by Joey on his bench outside the stadium. Both story and shoot were done with assertive ease and showed no signs of the now defeated Joey being physically and perhaps more importantly, mentally harmed by Grime's accomplishment. The short but with no doubt sweet and piercing character development at the end introduced us to a new character whose knowledge and power over Joey mirrored how Joey had been psychologically ahead of all his opponents, but now met his match with this stern psychiatrist. The echoes of Melfi from The Sopranos can be forgiven as the writer has shown a sincere love for the character and so will no doubt pay homage to her by making Edwards a strong and recurring character. Your XIII RP began with a bang and I could argue perhaps too much. What if you cut away from Joey's hostage situation just as things were reaching their most intense and carried it on after the shoot? The reader's knowledge that Joey was in fact in a situation where his life was in danger, but then went on to read Joey in the present confidently shooting down this strong force in the name of the Pantheon would create a sense of heroism in Flash, and would therefore put Joey's colours around our necks and root for him as we rejoined him against Vincenzo and celebrate when he finally won with the help of Alessandra. The shoot itself was rare one, with Joey putting himself in the hallowed, gold halls of the WCF hall of fame where the ghosts of Price and Purse were breathing down his neck. But the ever confident Joey was a mere child in a boring art gallery dismissing each piece on the wall and wondering why such a simple work would garner so much praise and respect, thinking he could so very easily repeat these acts and do a much better job. The whole theme of Joey being the underdog in the face of strong adversity created a great deal of support for Joey despite the crystal palace and evident great accomplishments of the pantheon which Joey tused as a weapon against them with ease. I wqa gonna say literally the exact same thing... I swear... Word for word
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Post by Gemini Battle on Mar 12, 2015 16:43:56 GMT -5
Actually I was gonna say take the shoot from your XIII promo and the story from your Slam promo and you'll be facing and beating bobby Cairo in no time.
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Post by Joey Flash on Mar 13, 2015 4:56:01 GMT -5
Your Slam RP was done with the relaxed confidence mirrored by Joey on his bench outside the stadium. Both story and shoot were done with assertive ease and showed no signs of the now defeated Joey being physically and perhaps more importantly, mentally harmed by Grime's accomplishment. The short but with no doubt sweet and piercing character development at the end introduced us to a new character whose knowledge and power over Joey mirrored how Joey had been psychologically ahead of all his opponents, but now met his match with this stern psychiatrist. The echoes of Melfi from The Sopranos can be forgiven as the writer has shown a sincere love for the character and so will no doubt pay homage to her by making Edwards a strong and recurring character. Your XIII RP began with a bang and I could argue perhaps too much. What if you cut away from Joey's hostage situation just as things were reaching their most intense and carried it on after the shoot? The reader's knowledge that Joey was in fact in a situation where his life was in danger, but then went on to read Joey in the present confidently shooting down this strong force in the name of the Pantheon would create a sense of heroism in Flash, and would therefore put Joey's colours around our necks and root for him as we rejoined him against Vincenzo and celebrate when he finally won with the help of Alessandra. The shoot itself was rare one, with Joey putting himself in the hallowed, gold halls of the WCF hall of fame where the ghosts of Price and Purse were breathing down his neck. But the ever confident Joey was a mere child in a boring art gallery dismissing each piece on the wall and wondering why such a simple work would garner so much praise and respect, thinking he could so very easily repeat these acts and do a much better job. The whole theme of Joey being the underdog in the face of strong adversity created a great deal of support for Joey despite the crystal palace and evident great accomplishments of the pantheon which Joey tused as a weapon against them with ease. Well shit!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2015 10:30:35 GMT -5
What I liked: The shorter more direct rp style. Reason being if I go to read a rp and its like suuuuuuuuuuper long it USUALLY puts me off reading them lol or I'll ask someone to just give me a brief recap kinda thing!
What I didn't like: Lack of cute animal pictures!
What needs improving: More cute animal pictures!
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Post by God King Dune on Mar 15, 2015 21:32:12 GMT -5
What Occulo said.
But no really, awesome work. I probably preferred the more deliberate style of the Slam promo but that doesn't take anything away from the more story-based one for XIII. I think the story stuff still works, just gotta keep progressing it in an interesting way like you're doing. That and making sure the bits aren't too long like Katherine said, otherwise it can throw newer readers off because they a) aren't invested and b) don't want to take the time to be. I've been wanting to do a story that spans several promos with a set beginning and end but I haven't started yet...probably because I've been in Internet Title matches since the end of February lol. Like you, I've also been wanting to take a turn for the absurd. I don't think Joey need to be more absurd to entertain the masses though. It'd be cool to see, but you're doing a hell of a job as is.
And your shoot is insane man. Your ability to just keep going and going with it is super impressive and reminds me of how much I need to improve lol. Keep up the good work and you'll get your blue back soon enough!
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Post by Joey Flash on Mar 16, 2015 6:29:31 GMT -5
Good shit, I prefer the more deliberate style too.
Joey's gonna be as realistic as he can be for a long time yet!
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