Post by Odin Balfore on Dec 29, 2011 2:05:07 GMT -5
" .. is more glorious then yours "
RP3
WCF-ONE
Main Event
World Title Match
Odin
v
Corey Black
__________________________________
* Welcome back folks to yet another Odin promo. The scene opens up to Odin hunkered over the bar at Conrad’s house, sitting on a stool, leg gently shaking out of boredom as Odin sips at his pitcher of whiskey. The camera come from behind him as Odin turns around slightly. Noticing the camera, he raises his pitcher to it in toast. *
Odin: Cheers CD.
* Odin takes a large gulp before wiping his mouth on his forearm and setting the mug down. *
Odin: Ya know, I think you’ve become my favorite drinking game. Every time you show me a glimmer of hope, I take a drink. Every time you open your mouth, seems I get to take a drink. I gotta say that I was moved, touched. My heart strings were plucked ever so gently as if by the caress of angels. If you would though, just do me a favor and SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF!
*Odin whines his voices and begins mock Corey Black*
Odin: “ aw, well.. I never got my shot at ONE because I’m tool. Aw, well You never really beat me because it was my alter ego.. Weeping fucking death.. A boo,boo, bee,boo. “
* His voice goes back to normal. *
Odin: Please, don’t make me atomic pimp slap you for being a little bitch. Stand up and be a god damn man for once in your pathetic excuse of a WCF Shamer career. Don’t you come at me preaching that bullshit, like you never got to lick the batter out of the bowl. You more then just about anyone else here knows that you got every little accomplishment under the damn sun except for your trophied ONE Pay Per View win. You really, truly are one sad man. You know for a fact that there’s guys that would literally kill to have just one of your accolades- just ONE.. Opps, did I break the fourth wall again? Well I’ll address that in a minute because that almightily queen of WCF needs his fucking ass powderd, more like motha fucking power bombed.
CD, tell me one time excluding now in your whacked out, pea size brain when ever the hell as an ELIMINATION in an INTER - PROMOTIONAL TAG MATCH, which you LOST, may I remind you- when has that ever counted towards a World title shot? When, it boggles my fucking mind. anD I just went to the fucking North Pole with a raccoon an a fucking multi-billionaire. Its I, CD, that makes no sense? It’s me that’s killed MY character? Do you honestly even look ever the shit they print out for you on those queue cards? Corey Black the mans whose done it all, one of the most feared yet respected wrestlers in the entire history of this company, been through it all for as long as the companies existed is going to flash petty excuses at me?
* Odin imitates Corey again.*
Odin: “ its about my pride, and my wants and my needs.. Me, me me, MARSHA, MARSHA, MARSHA “
* voice returns. *
Odin: That’s who you remind me of, a fucking high school cheerleader- fucking Jan Bray- granted, she wasn’t a cheer leader but honestly man- you sound like a spoiled rich, prissy high school girl. In fact, now that you brought that up CD and you have yourself to thank for it; I’m going to take my fist which is roughly the size of your face, wind back and hit you with everything I got and break that fucking nose of yours. At least, maybe, just maybe you’ll have something legitimate to cry over.
There’s one thing I’m glad with though. You finally set the record straight because Seth Lerch has to be the worst booker since Vince Russo.
* Who? *
One week I’m heel, next I’m face. The following week I’m fighting you in match, then we’re tagging together. One week Torture’s my rumored opponent then it’s the masked guy- grave digger it went through the grape vine and back again three fucking times. I think at one point I was schedule to wrestle the KISS midgets in a flaming inner tube match covered in vegetable oil to even wrestling Doc Henry. You said best- fuck Seth, fuck what happened, fuck the tag team matches. All that matters is right now!
* Odin snaps his fingers suddenly and his face lights up like he had the greatest of ideas. He grabs his pitcher and toasts again before taking another big drink. *
I’ll toast you on that one. More hope, more booze, more fun to be had by all..
* Odin trails off slightly before darkening his tone. *
…Except for you…
The past doesn’t matter right? It’s all in the past, its all apples to oranges, lamb to tuna fish; right ?All that matters is that in a few days on the grandest stage of them all- the biggest night in WCF it’ll be Odin Balfore verse Corey Black.
And you.. Have no idea what to do next, do you? Hell Corey, when we saw you in that promo you were getting your back all loose and limber in preparation for me to power bomb you again. Had to make sure that you looked good for the camera, have to keep those appearances up, don’t you? DON’T.. YOU? Me on the other hand; I’m such a bad ass that I can go out an have a little holiday fun, a little Christmas cheer, embrace the fact that gods above blessed me with brains, brawn an a personality to boot where as you just run. I can get away with being a goof and a bad ass all in one where as you can’t.
* Mocking Corey again. *
Odin: “ Aw, well.. I, I ,I just don’t know what happened. I don’t remember putting on the creeping death face paint. I don’t remember. It just happened.. Amanda, I’m so scared. “
* back to normal. *
Odin: I’ll tell you what Corey Broken, go back to your nieces house. Go open that front door and quietly make your way through the house. Walk your busted up ass up those stairs with gingerly crawl to your step like an eighty-year old man that’s been rattled with arthritis or a man that’s been jobber killed right out of WCF by Odin Balfore, its your call but you go right up to your nieces room and ask her how she opens that cardboard portal to Atlantis because uncle Corey has to go find his god damn NUTSACK!
Opps..
* he chugs down more whiskey. *
Cuz you think there’s hope in that too. Damn CD, you might actually get me a bit cocked before his promo’s over. Kids, kids. If you ever want to get plastered like never before play the Corey Broken drinking game. Every time he has something hopeful and uplifting to say- take a shot. you’ll be fucked up before he finishes the first damn paragraph!
Back on point here Corey, I’m not the one doing permanent damage to my career- you are. Every word you speak, you just keep on burying yourself. I almost feel bad, I’d hand ya shovel but you’d probably dig yourself to china rather then digging yourself out- wait.. Too late. You went from being the big man in charge to clinging to pride by means of crying about it.
* Odin once again mocks Corey *
Odin: “ Aw, well. I don’t care about the title. I just care about competition. “
* Odin’s voice returns. *
Odin: you want competition? Go hold your breath in the bath tub and see which one of your “ personalities “ drowns first. Corey, this is pro wrestling- there ain’t no competition here. The way it works is Odin Balfores way up here- we’ll call that my forehead. And everyone else is the dog shit on my boot. The only competition in WCF is to see whose the best on my boot. Its to see whose the best and shiniest piece of dog shit. If you want though, we can go have a competition… but first
* Odin takes another drink. *
that’s for thinking you can actually compete with Odin Balfore on a grand stage for a world title. That facts as concrete as your niece thinking she’s a princess. We all like to have fun and play games Corey, its human nature but don’t try and play them with me- you just ain’t gonna win. Like I said though, if you want we can have that drinking game which clearly I’m winning. Or, or we can go out back and have a keg toss or an arm wrestling match or we can take a stroll down the yellow brick road to Corey’s nieces fantasy land where even there Corey Broken can’t get a fucking break because he’s to foolish and selfish to understand when its time to step down and hang up the boots!
Me on the other hand, I’m not like that. I’m not in it for competition because there ainn’t none. The fact that WCF has to peal you off the side of the preverbal highway speaks volumes on to its self. I’m not in it for money, I’ve gone from rich to poor and back again so many times Donald Trump wouldn’t even trust me with gilt.
So I guess that’s where we agree on something. Wow.. We actually agree. There does in fact come a time when wrestlers like us just want to hurt people. Corey, I’ve been doing that for months now in WCF, you’ve been at it for three weeks. Come one now, don’t bullshit a bull shitter.
And.. I get to take another drink for that very optimistic point of view.
* Odin takes another drink and get back to taking. *
What makes you think Corey that this time above all other times in the infinite universe that THIS TIME will be different? Because what- you’re willing to try now? Oh good, you just keep making my job that much more enjoyable. Now when we meet in the middle of that ring at ONE, you’re crowning achievement in ten years- the one thing you’ve never been able to do. It’s the one thing that you’ve been looking forward too above all else in ten years with the company is headlining ONE an I’m just the icing on the cake. HMMHMM, that’s good hostess off a BBW’s cottage cheese ass. I can almost taste the cellulite now, can’t you?
NO? Well that’s fine CD because you’ll get your moment soon enough against me. You’ll get your moment across that ring from me knowing that your career has lead up to that point. The fact that you’re a nobody everywhere else you go - that’s the past. The fact that I’m renowned and hated the world over having done to countless others, that which I’m about to do onto you - its in the .. Past.
It’s all in the past because at ONE I’ll get to look into your eyes CD an I won’t see the fires of hatred or the stone look of determination, no! I’ll see the glossy eyed wondrous stare of a child’s whose hopes and dreams are unfolding before him. Much like your niece in her princess, Atlantis fantasy world. that’s what you are Corey Black. At one, you are your flesh and blood niece, playing pretend. Waltzing with your teddy bear for thirty minutes. A waltz that will seem like its never going to end. it’s a dance Corey that you’ll remember and cherish for the rest of your life because when I’m through letting you live your little fantasy, I’ll decapitate your nieces face from her body with the best damn big boot in the business and Jobber Kill your ass right out of WCF for a second fucking time with a dose of LD fifty!!
* Odin drinks to Corey wishful fantasy at ONE. *
Remember Corey, when children grow up and become adults- they look back on their child hood with fondness and realize that it was all just a fantasy.. And that’s exactly what you’re going to do Monday morning when you wake up from the best sleep you ever got in your life. The entire day Corey, the entire day after ONE you’ll be walking around your house in your little iron man one-zi and you’ll be asking yourself..
* Odin changes his voice yet again. *
Odin: Aw. Well, gee.. Did that really happen? Did I really face the best damn champion in WCF history in the main event at ONE?
* Odins voice returns. *
Odin: For hours, you’ll ask yourself that question. For hours it’ll haunt you because it will haunt you like a dream. Did you do it? The answer is no Corey Broken, the answer is no.. because you will have finally run out of hopes and dreams and little school girl make believes an I… I will have run out of whiskey. The only difference between the two Corey is that I’ll still be WCF world champion. As for Torture, he’s got a job to do an I already said I’d tear his hand clean from his arm to count the three.. Hell Cory, I’ll snap his arm from his body like a wishbone, choke him out with it and shove that arm right up your ass, maybe then you’ll get the three count you so desperately feel you deserve.
.. I’ll be frank though, it doesn’t change things. It doesn’t change the fact that once again- be it Weeping Death or Corey Broken, come Monday you will have lost to Odin Balfore twice on YOUR home turf. To YOU home town fans in YOUR home fantasy. You may keep your pride win or lose.. And trust me when I tell you that you WILL lose. It’ll be tainted. It’ll be tainted because ONE is the day that you lost your god damn mind in your own land of make believe where I just keep striving in reality.
So I have spoken, so it shall.. Come to pass..
And I can certainly drink to that!
* Odin starts to chug the rest of his whiskey as the scene fades to black. *
~FINN
