RP of the Year- Lerch Family Thanksgiving

[Seth]

The scene opens at a kitchen table. We can tell its Thanksgiving, as there is a turkey on said table, but for a family dinner there is an inordinate amount of women that look like coke whores. One is seated next to Rick Mad, another at the head of the table, and yet another next to Seth Lerch. Not to mention Shannan, WCF announcer.

Seth Lerch: Yeah, I met Betty here in AA. She's been off the coke for six months now!

Betty sniffles; clearly on coke at this very moment.

Woman: Good for you, Seth, good for you.

That woman pops a pill into her mouth. From her age and her resemblance to Seth and Shannan, we can assume it is their mother.

Momma Lerch: Well, anyway, you guys ready for some food?

Seth and Shannan: YEAH!

The whole group starts to dig into their dinner, ESPECIALLY the coke whores.

Betty: So, I was workin' the corner the other night, and-

Momma Lerch: Working the corner?

Betty: Erm, I mean, working in the office.. and a client comes in, and he's like, bitch, I want my dick suck-.. er.. copies made.. now! And I'm like, I ain't your bitch! And then he paid me, so I mean I did it, but what a jerk!

Seth is embarrassed, and mumbles to himself, "what was I thinking." Looking to change the subject..

Seth Lerch: So, I'm wrestling at the UWA Supershow soon. I'm teaming up with some guys who hate me, against some guys who hate me. A lot of people hate me.

Momma Lerch: And they always did, too! Remember how you used to get bullied in school?

Seth Lerch: Yes, mom-

Momma Lerch: And then how you kept getting fired from every job, because your coworkers didn't like you? And-

Seth Lerch: YES, MOM! SHUT UP!

Logan: DID SOMEBODY SAY SHUT UP!?

Seth Lerch: Oh no..

In walks Logan, with yet another coke whore. His coke whore being the fattest of them all.

Logan: Seth, I don't believe you boudles didn't invite me! But me and Marlene here didn't have nothin' else to do so we figured we'd drop by anyway.

Betty: Marlene! I thought you was workin' today?

Marlene: Nah, every one of my customers is with his family, pretendin' he don't fuck a prostitute every other night of the year-

Seth Lerch: SHHH! Ixnay on the rostitutionpay!

Marlene: Logan hunny, you didn't tell me they were speakin' that Spanish here, lets go! Ain't gonna have no dinner with a bunch of-

Logan: SHUT UP! Its free food!

Logan and Marlene quickly grab some food as they sit down.

Seth Lerch: So as I was saying, I'm teaming with Corey Black and Jay Price-

Logan and Shannan exchange glances at the mention of Jay's name.

Momma Lerch: Jay Price?! Awful man, awful awful man...

Seth Lerch: Yeah. Well, and we're against Odin Balfore, the WCF World Champion, and Ryan Blake and some other guy I know nothing about.

Momma Lerch: Shouldn't you do your research?

Seth Lerch: Nah. I have a trick up my sleeve. Get my ass beat until I'm unconscious and then get taken away.

Momma Lerch: ...That doesn't sound like much of a plan...

Seth Lerch: No, but its inevitable. Its what I'm good at. And then let Corey Black and Odin Balfore fight out their differences, raise excitement for One, get a lot of preorders for the PPV and use the extra money to buy everyone lots of cocai-.. er.. presents! Lots of Christmas presents!

Momma Lerch: Yay! My son gets beat up for money! I'm so proud of you, son!

Logan: Hey, Mrs. Lerch, this dinner is good and all, but... you wanna taste the Jumbo Hotdog of Treachery!?

The scene fades to black with Seth putting his head down in embarrassment at Logan's remark, and him not noticing his "girlfriend" snorting a line of coke right at the dinner table.

Read more: uwalliancefed.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=superrps&thread=390#ixzz1ef5c0Fdq

[Corey Black]

If we don't win, I riot. :-D

[The Perfect Ten]

LOVE IT! [/font]

[Deleted]

The scene briefly fades back in as Jay Price enters the room, dressed in ring attire for some reason. He walks right up to Momma Lerch and looks her square in the eye.

Jay Price: Awful man, eh? Well what do you know, you old bat?

And with that, Price grabs Momma Lerch's plate and hits her in the face with it. The plate falls to the ground and poor Momma Lerch's face is covered with mashed potatoes and bits of corn. Price then reaches over and grabs the gravy boat.

Jay Price: Here, those potatoes look a little dry.

And Price of course, being the helpful gent he is, pours hot gravy all over Momma Lerch's head. Once it's empty and she's thoroughly covered, Price slams the gravy boat over her head, knocking the poor old lady out. Price then turns his attention to Shannan, who is looking for Logan for help, but as always he has bailed when needed the most.

Jay Price: And you. How's that vag doing?

Shannan shoots him a look of the most hateful variety.

Jay Price: Yikes, I haven't seen that look since the time I put in your ass without using lube.

Shannan's rage turns to embarrassment.

Jay Price: Now then, why don't we all sit down and enjoy some food.

Jay extends his hand to Shannan to join him. She reluctantly steps forward. Jay pulls out a chair for her, she goes to sit....and he pulls it out from under her. Shannan lands with a thud on her rear.

Jay Price: Really? You trusted me?

Price reaches over and grabs a conveniently placed second gravy boat and empties it all over Shannan's head.

Jay Price: Just like old times, eh Shannan.

Shannan places her face in her hands and begins sobbing as Price turns his attention to Lerch, who's been in his own little world and completely oblivious to all of this.

Jay Price: Too easy.

And with that, the scene fades to black as Price exits the house, a drumstick in hand.

[Corey Black]

Scene is back. Out of absofuckinglutely NOWHERE (under the table) comes SNAD!

Snad looks left.

Snad looks right.

Momma Lerch has awaken from her daze, she and Shannan cheer him on... Seth is high... BLAM BANG BOOM KABLAMMO! SNAD CUTTER TO THE TURKEY! BAH GOBBLE GAWD!

[Deleted]

With the scene still going, Price walks back into the room and stares down Snad, a drumstick still in hand.

Jay Price: You call that a cutter?

Price jams his drumstick into Shannan's cheering pie hole and picks up the turkey.

Jay Price: This is a cutter.

Price delivers a picture perfect Downfall on the turkey and then does a kip-up to his feet right in Snad's face.

Jay Price: Hope you were taking notes.

Price then, without warning, turns and delivers a wet willy to a tweaked out, but still conscious enough to know that this party has gone from bad to worse to insane, Seth Lerch. He then removes his drumstick from Shannan's mouth and leaves.

[The Perfect Ten]

.... >_> [/font]