Post by Odin Balfore on Oct 30, 2011 14:55:17 GMT -5
" One Eyed God. "
RP3
WCF- HELLOWEEN PPV
SINGLES MATCH
WCF WORLD TITLE
ODIN BALFORE
VS
JOHNNY REB
__________________________________
* The snow is beginning to fall in Reading Pennsylvania. The Nor Easter predicted for the weekend is coming upon them. Light dustings of snow speckle the autumn ground, coloring up its rich red and gold tones. Although, all is not as it seems for in the woods of Reading there is something a foot.. Shenanigans, as it were. Odin Balfore, Ryan Blake, Conrad and Gilligan are in the woods to perform what Odin calls a “ tribal summoning. “ AKA just another venture that’ll piss Conrad off but non the less, we’re all guaranteed a good time. There’s Norse symbols and candles all around the woods where they are as Odin sits in a collapsible chair , huddled over a fire as Gilligan dressed in his “ Voo-Doo “ attire, makes some final preparations. *
Conrad: Why are you doing this?
Blake: It’s part of a warriors nobles passage.
* Odin chimes in from his trance. *
Odin: Nope.
Blake: Then its some pre battle warm up?
Odin: Nope.
Conrad: Well I’ll tell ya what it is- its just another thing that he does just to piss me off. There is no other explanation as to why we’re here in like thirty degree weather when I should be home watching the wheel.
Odin: As much as I’d like to agree to that, no.
Conrad: Then why; because right now I’m feeling like you have something against the wheel.
Odin: I love the wheel.
Conrad: Then why are we missing it?
Blake: Can’t you T-vo it?
Conrad: That’s not the point.
Odin: Reb wants to invoke the devil- call upon evil spirits well two can play that game. His panties are in a bunch because I rubbed the truth in his face an he’s not man enough to face it. See, that’s what happens when he’s got no one else to blame.. Now he’s gonna go huff and puff and lock himself in his room, wear a pig mask and play the banjo.
Conrad: That’s what this is about; you’re gonna one up the cry baby?
Blake: Sounds like a plan to me.
Conrad: Shut up, Blake, you’re not helping!
Odin: One up him; its too late for that. I’ve already done that. I’m going to turn that baby all the way up to eleven!
Blake: Animal sacrifice?
Conrad: I couldn’t get so lucky.
* He looks at Ryan.*
Conrad: Virgin sacrifice?
* Blake responds with sarcasm. *
Blake: Oh, your clever- were you waiting to bust out that gem all night? If I’m a virgin then Odin’s a women.
Conrad: Well, there was that one time..
* Blake looks confused. *
Odin: I was a crazy drunk at the time, was feuding with a women for like six months.. Long story short.. I though I was late for my period.
Blake: O’yeah because ya know- that makes PERFECT sense.
Odin: You feud with a women for six months and see how you turn out.
Blake: I have..
Conrad: and the answer is very homosexual.
Blake: Fuck you!
Conrad: See, raging homosexual, right there.
Odin: Guys! I’m trying to get into the zone here.
* Yeah, get your Tim Teabow pose goin on. *
Blake: So explain to me again why your doing this? What exactly are you doing to show up Reb?
* Odin groans as he just can’t get his moments peace as he looks up at Blake as the fires reflection dances across his face. *
Odin: Reb’s going to come into Helloween, mad- stock raving- livid. He thinks that’s the edge, that it’s the key to his success but I’m going to do one better. Where I have somehow in the prodding of my lame insults have pierced the skin of the “ great champion. “ he feels the need to come at me full force as a form rarely seen so I’m… ..
* Conrad throws his hands up in frustration as he begins to pace back and forth, rating and raving with all his Texas might.. *
Conrad: Yup, I knew it.. You’re gonna call upon the forces of higher, more demonic power just to spite some Mobile, Alabama, back water, hick whose trying to pass himself off as a southern gentleman.. Which is the biggest oxymoron I’ve ever heard in my life! Well I got news for ya Odin, Payton Manning isn’t available right now because he’s too god damn busy watching the Colts fuck themselves to pay any god damn attention to me an my fantasy league! God damn it!
* Conrad boots a rock from the ground an it whizzes threw the air and smacks off a nearby tree.*
Conrad: Now I gotta wait for fucking Tom Brady to screw up, which he already has , so that means I gotta wait another three years for him to throw another god damn interception.. And that shits just not gonna happen because Bill Belicheck is still mad that I punched his wife I the face seven years ago!!
* Odin and Blake look a little dumbfounded over Conrad’s little tirade. *
Odin: Actually I was going to call upon the power of the incredible hulk.. But now that you mention it, that’s a much better idea.
* some say that if you listened closely that night, you could actually hear Conrad’s brain shoot itself for inadvertently giving Odin such a good yet terrible idea. *
Conrad: So that’s why Gill is dressed up like Papa Shango.
* Who? *
Odin: Exactly but instead of the hulk, I’ll call on my ancestors- he’ll I’ll even call upon my name sake..
Conrad: here we go again.. God of gods.. King of kings.. Ever lasting an undeniable truth.. Oh where have I heard this one before.. Ohh I don’t know.. Something called the holy bible!!
Odin: You’ll see when he answers my call.
Bake: Do they have cell phones in Asguard?
Odin: they do but you won’t believe how much they charge in long distance. I’ll tell you what though, if Reb wants to play that game.. I’m ready to play it. I don’t know he’s truly prepared for it but Odin Balfore is. I’ve been ready since I took the title at WAR. WCF will pay in blood, they’ll fear my name when greatness comes and they’ll shout out once again to be saved by your god.. From this god..
* Gill walks back into the frame with a long staff clenched in his teeth with purple smoke pouring out from one end of it as me moves around Odin, gentle hitting him with the staff. All Conrad and Blake can do is stand there watch as the snow fall grows abnormally heavy. They weren’t dressed for this- they were barely dressed just to be out in the woods but still the snow comes down as if it was right from a mountain. Gill an Odin disappear in the snow but soon they reemerge but Odin looks slightly different.
yet Conrad isn’t impressed after all these years. *
Conrad: A quick costume change, that’s all I get? Where’s the eye patch. Didn’t your “ all father “ lose an eye?
* Odin stands there looking grim and smug. *
Conrad: Oh great, its YOU being YOU dressed as YOURSELF! That’s not even a good costume! Looks like you picked it up from a third rate prop shop. I think I saw that exact same thing on EBay a few weeks ago. What, did you have Blake order for you? Blake, were you in on this entire thing?
Blake: Ryan Blake knows nothing about this. Ryan Blake is confused.
* Conrad hangs his head, like the jokes on him an he finally caught on. *
Conrad: Ok, Ok, I got it. Blake’s talkin’ in third person again, he looks white as ghost- your looking at me like I just threw away your pog collection.
* Dated reference. *
Conrad: Alright, I got it.. Jokes on ol’ Conrad. Bravo Odin.. You made a record time costume change. Now will you change the fuck back.. I mean yes, we’re both some what mildly impressed by I’m freezing my Aunt Jemima’s honey glazed biscuits off here.
Odin: You dare invoke the wrath of the great lord Oden!
Conrad: opps.. here we go.. Playing up key fabe for once in your life.. Ugh.. Fine.. Yes.. I dare invoke the wrath of the great lord Odin..
* Odin’s left eye glows a deep red for a moment before going back to normal. *
Blake: Odin, you ok.. You got a touch of pink eye over there?
* Odin stomps over to Conrad with thunder in his steps as he lifts Conrad up and throws him into Blake. *
Odin: Who dares invoke the wrath of Oden?!
Blake: Johnny.. Johnny Reb.
* Smart move. *
* Odin grins a sinister smile. *
Odin: Da Hel skal ha ham Jeg skal ikke sende Hermod å hente ham. Den ene kjente ar Johnny Reb vil møte de samme som Loke er forræderi. At jeg løfte ... for å ha tatt meg vekk fra min trone ..
( Translated: Then Hel shall have him an I shall not send Hermod to fetch him. The one known as Johnny Reb will face the same as Loke’s treachery. That I vow… for having taken me away from my throne.. )
* Snow an ice come up from the ground an envelop Odin for a few moments again before its disappears almost as fast as it had appeared. Odin stands there now, looking like he was just minutes ago while Conrad was off on a tangent but now he looks out of it, mouth open, wobbling slightly. *
Blake: Dude, dude you ok?
* no response. *
Blake: Dude, what the hell?
* Hel.. Get it right. *
Odin: Is he, truly, completely an utterly.. Truly prepared to do what it takes to defeat Odin Balfore at Helloween?
* Odin’s teeth chatter, body weakened from what just happened. *
Odin: The world might see what a pissed off.. Hick.. Mi-might d-do.. But is he prepaid for me to do the same. I - I - I just made the sacrifice to one eyed god, the all father. How’s that for turning the dial all the what to eleven.. Hell, I think we’re in the hundreds. Let him get mad, be upset.. Come to the ring with the cruelest of intentions but that speaks nothing for what just happened here. A side of Johnny Reb that is rarely seen- he must be talking about a meaningful come back because I have yet to see that. I have stopped Reb short at every twist and turn so far and this is no different. Shutting me up isn’t the answer to his problems; hitting me with a truck might be but that’s an insult to the all father. Reb better fight me like man from the start or I’ll force him to an I’ll force him into a situation that he can not over come- more so then the situation that Seth put him into. We’re not taking anything to the bank; ask any warrior an he’ll tell you that you can not take your riches with you so the bank is of no use to him but I’ll tell you what- we’ll take it to Asguard. The ring will be our battle ground an all this shall be put to rest. Odin Balfore verse Johnny Reb is the creation of Seth’s and that creation will die. He stands against the spirit of the Norn’s and like all those before him, he shall suffer the same fate.
See, only the marks feel bad for him. That’s all his careers been; people feeling bad for him. I don’t though; my heart doesn’t bleed for him. It’s incapable of doing so because he has yet to give me reason to cut him any slack other then just enough rope to hang him with. I told him that I was gonna give him a gold star at Helloween but now through this ironic twist of fate- He will. Things just aren’t looking up for him, are they? Tell me something.. How’s god gonna vindicate that for him? Well I’ll give Reb the chance to ask the “ lord “ himself because if Reb’s lucky he’ll end up clinically dead for a few minutes during this match till a stiff chop to the chest or boot to the skull snaps you back to life.
Johnny Reb better be sure to put his life on the line because that’s exactly what its going to take to defeat me, not the non existent wrath of a southern gentleman. Monday night will be as real as it can be. That night, Reb will question his mortality and wonder how much I really value it, only to find out that I don’t. He will find out that Odin Balfore is the toughest challenge that he has ever come across and there is something very real and ultimately legitimate towards my claims of greatness when he sees first hand when I struck him down and he doesn’t dare get back up. Then after I’m done with him.. I’ll put Seth’s body next to his, laid out in the middle of that ring with the WCF title around my waist because the era of the Norse God shall begin again- uninterrupted by the meddling of weak minded men like them. A thousands years have passed since the world feared the Norn’s but they will once again as this Nordic Tank takes back what is rightfully his. It doesn’t matter whose in my way or who I have to go through to get it.. At Helloween.. It will be gotten. I’m ready to take Reb to all nine realms of the world tree. No one knows their roots but I’ll make sure Reb knows the pain that they can bring those who do not respect it- those who do not respect me.
.. So I have spoken.. So it shall.. Come to.. Pass..
* Odin slowly walks off back into the woods, leaving Blake and Conrad to wonder what the hell they just witness but what ever it is.. It doesn’t bode well for Johnny Reb, Seth Lerch an all of the WCF. *
~FINN
