Post by Odin Balfore on Oct 19, 2011 21:49:17 GMT -5
" Odins Hammer "
RP1
WCF- Slam!
The Alliance
vs.
Jones & Switches
______________________
* Odin and Ryan are sitting around Odin’s half asses Christmas decorated living room, puzzled over the markings on a card board box of a coffee table that they had bought to put Jones and Switches through at Monday night slam. I mean, yeah they could have paid to get it put together at the store but that woulda been an extra twenty bucks and far be it from Conrad to pay up anything extra so he left it up to the capable hands of Ryan Blake an mental incompetence of Odin Balfore to set up. *
“ THIS SIDE UP “
I
I
V
* Odin turns it over. *
“ dn 3CI I5 5IHL”
^
I
I
“ Let me see that.”
* Ryan takes the box from Odin and flips it over a few times. *
Ryan: Son of bitch! What the hell kind of box is this? Where did you sat Conrad got it from?
Odin: He said Ikea but I doubt it; here, let me see the box.
* Odin reads the label. *
“ IQ.. that O with the line through it an a triangle. “
Ryan: That’s not how you spell “ Ikea”, is it ?
Odin: Probably, the French don’t know how to do anything right.
Ryan: So true, so true.
Odin: Screw it, I’m just gonna open the box.
* Odin rips the box open and dumps out its contents. One rectangle board made from two different colored pieces of wood, one green, the other black, Along with two and three quarters legs. Odin looks inside the box and pulls out a set of instructions that simples reads :
“ Hammer and Nails. “
No specification on either, just hammer and nails. *
Ryan: Do we have a hammer?
Odin: Do I have a hammer…
* Odin goes on mockingly as he casually looks around, only to find out that the joke, like everything else, is on him.*
Odin: I- I .. I think its in the safe.
Ryan: The safe? I didn’t even know you had one.
Odin: me either, but I’m sure its there. it’s a family heirloom so I gotta keep it guarded.
* Odin gets up and suspiciously exit’s the room as Ryan sits there trying to figure out the table while talking out loud to Odin. *
Ryan: This table doesn’t make sense, kinda like our match.
Odin: Yeah…
Ryan: I mean, it’s the Alliance for christs sakes..
Odin: Odins Sakes..
Ryan: Yeah What ever… Switches the clown an Conrad’s gardener.
* “ Gardener?!” Conrad exclaims as he stomps into the room. *
Conrad: What about my gardener? Is he here yet?
Ryan: What? No.
Conrad: Damn it! he was suppose to be here an hour ago. He’s probably taking another lunch break from his lunch break.
Ryan: How..
Odin: Only in America!
Conrad: That’s how. Just like only in America can the greatest tag team in WCF go up against my gardener and a half rate birthday clown. Seriously, Last week you guys wrecked two former champions- hell the current champion..
Odin: Fuck you fat man!
Conrad: It’s the truth, ain’t it! .. To this week going against two current never -were.
* Ryan Shrugs. *
Ryan: that’s what I’m trying to figure out but eh, free lunch.
Odin: LUNCH?
Ryan &Conrad: Shut up!
Ryan: I guess this match is kinda like this table that we will ironically put them trough. It’s made up of two completely opposite an opposing sides with really have no legs to stand on so to speak. I mean, ya, they’re both equally shitty legs, that looks to be made out of spray painted packing foam but I guess its what you pay for.
Odin: About three fitty.
Ryan: At slam, Jones an Switches will get what they pay for and then some. They’re opponents. Can they trust each other? Can they get along? Can they mesh for this one match against The Alliance? They have to learn to co exist in that ring if they’re actually going to stand a chance, Look at D- Day an Reb, they’re friends an Reb ended up walking out on D-Day to get pick apart by us. Do you think Jones is going to help out Switches for vise versea? No! No They can’t! They’re a complete an totally mis match of a team. It’ like tagging a broom up with D-Day, maybe alone the broom will have had a chance but with D-Day.. Mans, shits in trouble. They won’t be any different. Consider this a warm up for Helloween because Odin damn well wants his title back an I most defiantly want to get my hands on D-Day for bitching out about the title.
Odin: Gotta teach them bitches how to act!
* Odin walks back into the room. *
Odin: Jones and Switches don’t even pose a threat. I’ve been smashing apart guys since I got here and Blakes just been making a statement after damn statement. You might as well call him bank of America because one way or the other, he’s gonna make you pay. In a way We’re helping them for their Pay Per View match because they just take away from the important things- like my title. I’m sure though, Seth and Jones don’t get along- they’ll probably his little cop out like it was Reb’s. And, just like Reb, I bet you that Jones only cares that he gets his pay checks but he like Reb will soon find out, Seth better pay his hospital bills too. If they’re not carefully, that’s where we’ll be sending them. I’m sure they’re both hardcore, sick and twisted people but they’re fighting a battle they just ain’t gonna win. I’m the top star in WCF right now an I’m the one that trained Blake so you gotta think that we know each other very well where as Blake just pointed out- they don’t. So I’m looking forward to getting a little exercise in an taking out the third wheel in that attack on me the other week before getting my hands on Reb, getting my belt back and then going after Seth and making him pay for having put me through all this- then again I just may thank him for making me a two time champion with out having to worry about the well being of the roster. Do you think that Jones and Switches safety even crossed my mind? Hell no! those two can tear them selves apart AFTER me and Blake do it first, if there’s anything left.
Ryan: Send them to Ragnarok by way of the Valkyrie kick- casualties to their cause. They can fight over being the sickest wrestler in WCF all they want- all that concerns us is being the best, which we are and we will assert that fact when we step into the ring with them on Monday.
Odin: I hope they aren’t intimidated- I hope they aren’t scared because I’ll make them. I want to give them that feeling that its all over, that there’s nothing that they can do. I can’t blame them though, everyone thinks they’re a tough guy till they get in the ring with me but that’s just te nature of the beast. However, the nature of this beast is total destruction which will happen and trust me when I say, IT WILL happen .
Ryan: .. Hey Odin.. Where’s that hammer?
Odin: those damn Jehovah Witnesses took it.
Ryan: What?
Odin: The basement, don’t you keep all your Jehovah’s in the basement? They kept bugging me about the universe and stuff- every weekend, so I just started to lock them in the basement.
Conrad: I had slave labor just sitting in my basement this entire time an you didn’t tell me?
Odin: You never asked.
Ryan: Whoa, whoa, whoa.. How do you know they took your hammer?
Odin: they left their business card, like always. Those sons of bitches!
* Odin shows Ryan a card that he found where his hammer should be. *
Odin: Now not only am I going to get my title back, I’m going to get my hammer back too. Right after we put away Jones an Switches, So I have spoken.. So it shall come to pass..
Ryan: and it will.. Be epic..
...
..
Wait, we need the nails!
Odin: Where can we get nails?
Ryan: My dads a carptenter.
* Blake takes out his cell phone frone his pocket and hits the speed dial. *
.. yeah Dad, yeah its me. Hey dad, do you still got thise nails. I know you only got a few left but they're good nails... dad.. dad.. dad! Will you get down from your cross for one second- I need those nails. Why? Ryan Blake is Ryan Fucking Blake thats why!.. no, you won't be one second, you'll be late just like you always are. it'll take you forever. .. .. i know dad, I know.. when you get here yad, yada, it'll be epic- I know. Tell me something I don't know.. ok.. ok.. CHRIST, BYE!
* CLICK *
Ryan: Don't hold your breath on those nails.. might be a while..
~FINN
RP1
WCF- Slam!
The Alliance
vs.
Jones & Switches
______________________
* Odin and Ryan are sitting around Odin’s half asses Christmas decorated living room, puzzled over the markings on a card board box of a coffee table that they had bought to put Jones and Switches through at Monday night slam. I mean, yeah they could have paid to get it put together at the store but that woulda been an extra twenty bucks and far be it from Conrad to pay up anything extra so he left it up to the capable hands of Ryan Blake an mental incompetence of Odin Balfore to set up. *
“ THIS SIDE UP “
I
I
V
* Odin turns it over. *
“ dn 3CI I5 5IHL”
^
I
I
“ Let me see that.”
* Ryan takes the box from Odin and flips it over a few times. *
Ryan: Son of bitch! What the hell kind of box is this? Where did you sat Conrad got it from?
Odin: He said Ikea but I doubt it; here, let me see the box.
* Odin reads the label. *
“ IQ.. that O with the line through it an a triangle. “
Ryan: That’s not how you spell “ Ikea”, is it ?
Odin: Probably, the French don’t know how to do anything right.
Ryan: So true, so true.
Odin: Screw it, I’m just gonna open the box.
* Odin rips the box open and dumps out its contents. One rectangle board made from two different colored pieces of wood, one green, the other black, Along with two and three quarters legs. Odin looks inside the box and pulls out a set of instructions that simples reads :
“ Hammer and Nails. “
No specification on either, just hammer and nails. *
Ryan: Do we have a hammer?
Odin: Do I have a hammer…
* Odin goes on mockingly as he casually looks around, only to find out that the joke, like everything else, is on him.*
Odin: I- I .. I think its in the safe.
Ryan: The safe? I didn’t even know you had one.
Odin: me either, but I’m sure its there. it’s a family heirloom so I gotta keep it guarded.
* Odin gets up and suspiciously exit’s the room as Ryan sits there trying to figure out the table while talking out loud to Odin. *
Ryan: This table doesn’t make sense, kinda like our match.
Odin: Yeah…
Ryan: I mean, it’s the Alliance for christs sakes..
Odin: Odins Sakes..
Ryan: Yeah What ever… Switches the clown an Conrad’s gardener.
* “ Gardener?!” Conrad exclaims as he stomps into the room. *
Conrad: What about my gardener? Is he here yet?
Ryan: What? No.
Conrad: Damn it! he was suppose to be here an hour ago. He’s probably taking another lunch break from his lunch break.
Ryan: How..
Odin: Only in America!
Conrad: That’s how. Just like only in America can the greatest tag team in WCF go up against my gardener and a half rate birthday clown. Seriously, Last week you guys wrecked two former champions- hell the current champion..
Odin: Fuck you fat man!
Conrad: It’s the truth, ain’t it! .. To this week going against two current never -were.
* Ryan Shrugs. *
Ryan: that’s what I’m trying to figure out but eh, free lunch.
Odin: LUNCH?
Ryan &Conrad: Shut up!
Ryan: I guess this match is kinda like this table that we will ironically put them trough. It’s made up of two completely opposite an opposing sides with really have no legs to stand on so to speak. I mean, ya, they’re both equally shitty legs, that looks to be made out of spray painted packing foam but I guess its what you pay for.
Odin: About three fitty.
Ryan: At slam, Jones an Switches will get what they pay for and then some. They’re opponents. Can they trust each other? Can they get along? Can they mesh for this one match against The Alliance? They have to learn to co exist in that ring if they’re actually going to stand a chance, Look at D- Day an Reb, they’re friends an Reb ended up walking out on D-Day to get pick apart by us. Do you think Jones is going to help out Switches for vise versea? No! No They can’t! They’re a complete an totally mis match of a team. It’ like tagging a broom up with D-Day, maybe alone the broom will have had a chance but with D-Day.. Mans, shits in trouble. They won’t be any different. Consider this a warm up for Helloween because Odin damn well wants his title back an I most defiantly want to get my hands on D-Day for bitching out about the title.
Odin: Gotta teach them bitches how to act!
* Odin walks back into the room. *
Odin: Jones and Switches don’t even pose a threat. I’ve been smashing apart guys since I got here and Blakes just been making a statement after damn statement. You might as well call him bank of America because one way or the other, he’s gonna make you pay. In a way We’re helping them for their Pay Per View match because they just take away from the important things- like my title. I’m sure though, Seth and Jones don’t get along- they’ll probably his little cop out like it was Reb’s. And, just like Reb, I bet you that Jones only cares that he gets his pay checks but he like Reb will soon find out, Seth better pay his hospital bills too. If they’re not carefully, that’s where we’ll be sending them. I’m sure they’re both hardcore, sick and twisted people but they’re fighting a battle they just ain’t gonna win. I’m the top star in WCF right now an I’m the one that trained Blake so you gotta think that we know each other very well where as Blake just pointed out- they don’t. So I’m looking forward to getting a little exercise in an taking out the third wheel in that attack on me the other week before getting my hands on Reb, getting my belt back and then going after Seth and making him pay for having put me through all this- then again I just may thank him for making me a two time champion with out having to worry about the well being of the roster. Do you think that Jones and Switches safety even crossed my mind? Hell no! those two can tear them selves apart AFTER me and Blake do it first, if there’s anything left.
Ryan: Send them to Ragnarok by way of the Valkyrie kick- casualties to their cause. They can fight over being the sickest wrestler in WCF all they want- all that concerns us is being the best, which we are and we will assert that fact when we step into the ring with them on Monday.
Odin: I hope they aren’t intimidated- I hope they aren’t scared because I’ll make them. I want to give them that feeling that its all over, that there’s nothing that they can do. I can’t blame them though, everyone thinks they’re a tough guy till they get in the ring with me but that’s just te nature of the beast. However, the nature of this beast is total destruction which will happen and trust me when I say, IT WILL happen .
Ryan: .. Hey Odin.. Where’s that hammer?
Odin: those damn Jehovah Witnesses took it.
Ryan: What?
Odin: The basement, don’t you keep all your Jehovah’s in the basement? They kept bugging me about the universe and stuff- every weekend, so I just started to lock them in the basement.
Conrad: I had slave labor just sitting in my basement this entire time an you didn’t tell me?
Odin: You never asked.
Ryan: Whoa, whoa, whoa.. How do you know they took your hammer?
Odin: they left their business card, like always. Those sons of bitches!
* Odin shows Ryan a card that he found where his hammer should be. *
Odin: Now not only am I going to get my title back, I’m going to get my hammer back too. Right after we put away Jones an Switches, So I have spoken.. So it shall come to pass..
Ryan: and it will.. Be epic..
...
..
Wait, we need the nails!
Odin: Where can we get nails?
Ryan: My dads a carptenter.
* Blake takes out his cell phone frone his pocket and hits the speed dial. *
.. yeah Dad, yeah its me. Hey dad, do you still got thise nails. I know you only got a few left but they're good nails... dad.. dad.. dad! Will you get down from your cross for one second- I need those nails. Why? Ryan Blake is Ryan Fucking Blake thats why!.. no, you won't be one second, you'll be late just like you always are. it'll take you forever. .. .. i know dad, I know.. when you get here yad, yada, it'll be epic- I know. Tell me something I don't know.. ok.. ok.. CHRIST, BYE!
* CLICK *
Ryan: Don't hold your breath on those nails.. might be a while..
~FINN
