Post by epitomeofcool on Oct 17, 2011 15:50:30 GMT -5
Part I
The Book Of Cool: Chapter 5: "Smooth Talkin' Son Of A Gun"
The scene opens with a shot of a small gathering of rather attractive females sitting in a semicircle, all facing Aaron Miles as he sits in front of them, an acoustic guitar in hand. Currently he's in the midst of a song which sounds like a nonsensical assortment of thoughts and observations, but the women seem captivated by every word that passes by his lips as they sway their heads back and forth, their eyes shut and a look of ecstasy on their faces. As he finishes his "song" the girls politely applaud as he takes a bow. He then places his guitar on the grass beside him. As he takes a sip from the can of Orange Crush in front of him, the cameraman takes the opportunity to zoom in on the girls, each of whom are clutching one Aaron's light blue pamphlets to their chests as if it were a national treasure. One of the girls in particular seems exceptionally enamored by the smooth talking gentleman that arrived on the campus less than fifteen minutes ago, speaking to anyone that would listen about his lessons for a better life. She raises her hand and waits to be called upon as if she were in elementary school again.
Aaron Miles: Yes...
Aaron pauses as he tries to remember the young woman's name.
Young Woman: Naomi.
Aaron Miles: Of course, Naomi. What is it?
Naomi: Your words..your pamphlets..they all seem to be so clear in their meanings, but why is it that I still don't feel as though I understand. I want to understand. I so desperately want to understand.
Aaron Miles: My dear, don't fret. No one should ever expect instantaneous results, for even in a perfect world the best things in life always take time.
Naomi: But I want the things that you've described now. I feel like my life will not be complete until I've experienced the things that you have.
Aaron Miles: And you will...soon. Believe me, as much as you crave it now, you'll be thanking me for making you wait longer when the time finally comes.
A look of disappointment comes over Naomi's face, but it quickly fades as Aaron brushes the hair away from her eyes and runs his hand down the back of her neck. She shivers at his touch as a smile comes over his face. Aaron leans back and picks his can of soda back up before taking a look at each of the girls.
Aaron Miles: Patience is a virtue. Embrace it and reap the benefits.
The girls all nod their heads in understanding as Aaron takes another sip of delicious Orange Crush. Aaron starts to speak again when a pair of campus security guards walk up to the group.
Security Guard: Excuse me sir, but are you a student here?
Aaron Miles: No, I was just passing through when I happened upon these lovely ladies and decided to strike up a conversation.
Security Guard: Well then sir, if you aren't a student I'm going to have to ask you to leave the campus.
Aaron Miles: For what reason? I don't see how me being here is in anyway a crime.
Security Guard: Sir, we've been having issues with thefts and vandalism recently, and as such we've been instructed to keep anyone not associated with the university off of the campus. Now again, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the premises.
The security guard reaches down for Aaron's arm to pull him to his feet and Aaron bats it away.
Aaron Miles: Look, I'll go but don't put your hands on me.
The guard again goes for Aaron's arm but this time Aaron grabs it and pulls the unsuspecting guard face-first into the grass. The second security guard doesn't hesitate and he dives onto Aaron, driving him into the ground. The two wrestle about for a few moments before Aaron slips out of a headlock and jumps up to his feet. He looks toward the girls and gives them the "call me" hand gesture before sprinting off with both guards in tow, one of whom has a radio up to his mouth as he yells for back-up. As Aaron nears the gate that leads off the campus, a pair of golf carts pull up in front of him and a pair of guards pile out of each. Aaron considers putting up a fight until one of the guards pulls a taser from the belt around his obscenely round waist. Aaron, being the sane type who hates the idea of being tased, decides it best to surrender and he drops to his knees with his hands behind his head. As another of the guards steps up behind Aaron and roughly pulls him to his feet, a small plastic baggie falls out of Aaron's back pocket and lands on the grass. Aaron and all six guards look down at the baggie, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out what's inside.
Aaron Miles: Uhh...it's not mine.
The scene fades out as the security guards turn Aaron around and march him toward the campus security building.
A Short While Later
The scene fades back in with Aaron now sitting on a plastic orange chair, his hands uncomfortably tied behind him with zip ties as he stares at the baggie sitting on the table in front of him. Also staring at it is the head of the campus security.
Head Security Guard: So let me get this straight. You're saying that one of my men, men who I personally hired and have worked with for years, planted this bag of marijuana on you?
Aaron Miles: That's exactly what I'm saying.
Head Security Guard: Let's say for shits and giggles I actually believe that crap. Why would one of my men want to frame you.
Aaron Miles: Probably for making him add a little salad to his diet for the first time in his life.
Head Security Guard: Son with the trouble you're looking at, I doubt this is the time to be making wisecracks.
The head guard then begins to go through Aaron's coat, searching for more baggies when he comes across one of Aaron's pamphlets. He pulls it out and begins to read over it as Aaron senses an opportunity about to arise.
Head Security Guard: And what's this dribble here? Some sort of manifesto for the drug addicts of the world?
Aaron Miles: Quite the opposite actually. It's a guide on how to live the life that you deserve and not the one that fate has dealt you. You should give it a read, after all I doubt that all of this...
Aaron looks around at the cramped office of the hear guard.
Aaron Miles:...is what you envisioned for yourself when you were a child dreaming of your future.
Head Security Guard: You could say that again. I mean, shut up! Things may not look so glamorous around here but at least I can say that I'm not a drug addict that assaults security guards.
Aaron Miles: First of all, I asked that guard not to touch me before I acted in the manner that I did. And secondly, I already told you that bag isn't mine.
Head Security Guard: Yeah, and Halle Berry is waiting for me at home wearing nothing but high heels and a smile.
The guard chuckles at his own joke as he continues to read over the pamphlet. Several quiet minutes pass as the guard becomes more and more immersed in the words that he is reading. He then looks over at Aaron with a quizzical look on his face.
Head Security Guard: This..this thing is a joke right? It's just something you use to pick up girls, right?
Aaron Miles: Trust me my portly friend, everything that you just read is pure fact. Tell me, when you were a little younger is this what you pictured yourself doing at this age? Is this what you wanted?
Head Security Guard: Actually I wanted to dance.
Aaron is taken aback by that statement, but nevertheless nods his head approvingly.
Aaron Miles: All right, not what I was expecting to hear, but a dreams a dream. So tell me, why didn't you follow through with it? Why aren't you...dancing...right now?
Head Security Guard: The dance teachers used to tell me I was too heavy to dance. Something about not being able to keep my balance or move graciously.
Aaron Miles: And just because they told you you couldn't do it, you gave up on yourself and allowed yourself to fall into a life of unfulfilled dreams and disappointment. Right?
The head guard looks around at his pitiful surroundings and embarrassingly nods his head yes.
Aaron Miles: Then you are just the person that needs to be reading that pamphlet in your hands. You might be thinking it's too late to change the way things are going in your life, but it's never too late. Get yourself out of this tiny office, take off that stupid uniform and go dance your ass off.
Head Security Guard: But I...
Aaron Miles: No buts, I don't want to hear anything negative come out of your mouth. You're going to listen to my advice, do everything that you just read and live the life you want to live. Screw what the people of the world have told you and what they're bound to tell you in the future. They only put you down because they themselves are miserable with their own bad choices. Now go. Go and live damn it.
Head Security Guard: Yeah..I WILL.
The head guard stands up, rips off his tie and with an animal like growl runs out of the office, leaving Aaron still tied to the plastic orange chair.
Aaron Miles: Hey wait! Let me out of here first!
The scene fades out with Aaron frantically trying to break free from his zip tie shackles.
Part II
A Little Something, Something
I've had a lot of things on my mind as of late that I've wanted to say, and as the old saying goes, "there's no time like the present".
Ever since I first burst out onto the scene at WAR, I've been hearing a lot of rumbling from people about how quickly the crowd has gotten behind me. The can't understand what the crowds see in me. They can't see that "it" factor that the crowds do.
And that's just the problem: There is no "it" factor. There's no secret formula that I've discovered for making the crowds pop at every mention of my name. There's no cheat code for making the panties of every lady in the front row wet. All I've done is do what so many people in today's industry have forgotten how to do: connect with the people. It's so cool these days to get heat by bashing the hometown crowd, or to get a cheap pop by simply saying the city's name. Or, if you're really desperate, you could always take a cue from some of the female members of the business and whore yourselves out for the love of the crowd. But in the the end, the people are always going to end up getting fed up with the same bs that they're forced to witness, and they turn to the next guy or gal offering up something else.
My fans, however, follow me for a whole other reason. They listen to my every word, mimic my every action and blow the roof off of arenas when my music hits because they know that they can count on me to break up the monotony of the night with something new and fresh. They know that I'm going to do something amazing each and every night, and they appreciate it more than you could ever imagine. And while I could easily resort to using some silly catchphrase or maybe doing some lame shtick comedy routine to win them over, I know that's not what they want and I'm not going to put them through that.
With that said, allow me to address the other group of haters that I've heard speaking up, most noticeably after it was announced that I was receiving a shot at the #1 Contendership to the Hardcore Title. To those people I have but one question: You mad bro? Seriously, the green eyed monster of jealousy must be spreading throughout the locker room like an STD at Logan's house, because from the moment the match was announced, I could hear the rumblings. "Why is he getting a shot?", "Why aren't I being given the same chances?", "Who does this guy think he is?" And the simple answer is, I'm the guy that apparently has done the things the right way and have gotten rewarded for it. I didn't bitch and moan about not getting what I want. I didn't throw temper tantrums and threaten to quit. I just went out there, busted my ass, put on a show that the fans loved and then went home to wait until the next show. So if you're so desperate for answers about why you aren't getting what I'm getting, I suggest you find the closest mirror, study what you see for a few hours and then make a few changes because you obviously aren't as good as you're telling yourself you are.
And finally, concerning the Hardcore Title Contendership match tonight, as I've already said I never imagined myself being in this division when I first came to WCF. But I'd be an idiot if I were to say I wasn't looking forward to the opportunity of starting on the path to my first piece of title gold. I may seem like the unlikeliest of people who should be going for Hardcore gold, being that I'm one of the smallest guys on the roster, but don't mistake my size for a weakness. I can, and will, hit you from every angle, in every place on your body at top speed until I bring you down to my size. And then, just for shits, I'll make you tap out until you're crying like a bitch. So to my fellow competitors tonight I wish you the sincerest best of luck in your future opportunities. But tonight, "The Epitome Of Cool' is going to show the world why the crowd loves him so.
Deuces.
The Book Of Cool: Chapter 5: "Smooth Talkin' Son Of A Gun"
The scene opens with a shot of a small gathering of rather attractive females sitting in a semicircle, all facing Aaron Miles as he sits in front of them, an acoustic guitar in hand. Currently he's in the midst of a song which sounds like a nonsensical assortment of thoughts and observations, but the women seem captivated by every word that passes by his lips as they sway their heads back and forth, their eyes shut and a look of ecstasy on their faces. As he finishes his "song" the girls politely applaud as he takes a bow. He then places his guitar on the grass beside him. As he takes a sip from the can of Orange Crush in front of him, the cameraman takes the opportunity to zoom in on the girls, each of whom are clutching one Aaron's light blue pamphlets to their chests as if it were a national treasure. One of the girls in particular seems exceptionally enamored by the smooth talking gentleman that arrived on the campus less than fifteen minutes ago, speaking to anyone that would listen about his lessons for a better life. She raises her hand and waits to be called upon as if she were in elementary school again.
Aaron Miles: Yes...
Aaron pauses as he tries to remember the young woman's name.
Young Woman: Naomi.
Aaron Miles: Of course, Naomi. What is it?
Naomi: Your words..your pamphlets..they all seem to be so clear in their meanings, but why is it that I still don't feel as though I understand. I want to understand. I so desperately want to understand.
Aaron Miles: My dear, don't fret. No one should ever expect instantaneous results, for even in a perfect world the best things in life always take time.
Naomi: But I want the things that you've described now. I feel like my life will not be complete until I've experienced the things that you have.
Aaron Miles: And you will...soon. Believe me, as much as you crave it now, you'll be thanking me for making you wait longer when the time finally comes.
A look of disappointment comes over Naomi's face, but it quickly fades as Aaron brushes the hair away from her eyes and runs his hand down the back of her neck. She shivers at his touch as a smile comes over his face. Aaron leans back and picks his can of soda back up before taking a look at each of the girls.
Aaron Miles: Patience is a virtue. Embrace it and reap the benefits.
The girls all nod their heads in understanding as Aaron takes another sip of delicious Orange Crush. Aaron starts to speak again when a pair of campus security guards walk up to the group.
Security Guard: Excuse me sir, but are you a student here?
Aaron Miles: No, I was just passing through when I happened upon these lovely ladies and decided to strike up a conversation.
Security Guard: Well then sir, if you aren't a student I'm going to have to ask you to leave the campus.
Aaron Miles: For what reason? I don't see how me being here is in anyway a crime.
Security Guard: Sir, we've been having issues with thefts and vandalism recently, and as such we've been instructed to keep anyone not associated with the university off of the campus. Now again, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the premises.
The security guard reaches down for Aaron's arm to pull him to his feet and Aaron bats it away.
Aaron Miles: Look, I'll go but don't put your hands on me.
The guard again goes for Aaron's arm but this time Aaron grabs it and pulls the unsuspecting guard face-first into the grass. The second security guard doesn't hesitate and he dives onto Aaron, driving him into the ground. The two wrestle about for a few moments before Aaron slips out of a headlock and jumps up to his feet. He looks toward the girls and gives them the "call me" hand gesture before sprinting off with both guards in tow, one of whom has a radio up to his mouth as he yells for back-up. As Aaron nears the gate that leads off the campus, a pair of golf carts pull up in front of him and a pair of guards pile out of each. Aaron considers putting up a fight until one of the guards pulls a taser from the belt around his obscenely round waist. Aaron, being the sane type who hates the idea of being tased, decides it best to surrender and he drops to his knees with his hands behind his head. As another of the guards steps up behind Aaron and roughly pulls him to his feet, a small plastic baggie falls out of Aaron's back pocket and lands on the grass. Aaron and all six guards look down at the baggie, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out what's inside.
Aaron Miles: Uhh...it's not mine.
The scene fades out as the security guards turn Aaron around and march him toward the campus security building.
A Short While Later
The scene fades back in with Aaron now sitting on a plastic orange chair, his hands uncomfortably tied behind him with zip ties as he stares at the baggie sitting on the table in front of him. Also staring at it is the head of the campus security.
Head Security Guard: So let me get this straight. You're saying that one of my men, men who I personally hired and have worked with for years, planted this bag of marijuana on you?
Aaron Miles: That's exactly what I'm saying.
Head Security Guard: Let's say for shits and giggles I actually believe that crap. Why would one of my men want to frame you.
Aaron Miles: Probably for making him add a little salad to his diet for the first time in his life.
Head Security Guard: Son with the trouble you're looking at, I doubt this is the time to be making wisecracks.
The head guard then begins to go through Aaron's coat, searching for more baggies when he comes across one of Aaron's pamphlets. He pulls it out and begins to read over it as Aaron senses an opportunity about to arise.
Head Security Guard: And what's this dribble here? Some sort of manifesto for the drug addicts of the world?
Aaron Miles: Quite the opposite actually. It's a guide on how to live the life that you deserve and not the one that fate has dealt you. You should give it a read, after all I doubt that all of this...
Aaron looks around at the cramped office of the hear guard.
Aaron Miles:...is what you envisioned for yourself when you were a child dreaming of your future.
Head Security Guard: You could say that again. I mean, shut up! Things may not look so glamorous around here but at least I can say that I'm not a drug addict that assaults security guards.
Aaron Miles: First of all, I asked that guard not to touch me before I acted in the manner that I did. And secondly, I already told you that bag isn't mine.
Head Security Guard: Yeah, and Halle Berry is waiting for me at home wearing nothing but high heels and a smile.
The guard chuckles at his own joke as he continues to read over the pamphlet. Several quiet minutes pass as the guard becomes more and more immersed in the words that he is reading. He then looks over at Aaron with a quizzical look on his face.
Head Security Guard: This..this thing is a joke right? It's just something you use to pick up girls, right?
Aaron Miles: Trust me my portly friend, everything that you just read is pure fact. Tell me, when you were a little younger is this what you pictured yourself doing at this age? Is this what you wanted?
Head Security Guard: Actually I wanted to dance.
Aaron is taken aback by that statement, but nevertheless nods his head approvingly.
Aaron Miles: All right, not what I was expecting to hear, but a dreams a dream. So tell me, why didn't you follow through with it? Why aren't you...dancing...right now?
Head Security Guard: The dance teachers used to tell me I was too heavy to dance. Something about not being able to keep my balance or move graciously.
Aaron Miles: And just because they told you you couldn't do it, you gave up on yourself and allowed yourself to fall into a life of unfulfilled dreams and disappointment. Right?
The head guard looks around at his pitiful surroundings and embarrassingly nods his head yes.
Aaron Miles: Then you are just the person that needs to be reading that pamphlet in your hands. You might be thinking it's too late to change the way things are going in your life, but it's never too late. Get yourself out of this tiny office, take off that stupid uniform and go dance your ass off.
Head Security Guard: But I...
Aaron Miles: No buts, I don't want to hear anything negative come out of your mouth. You're going to listen to my advice, do everything that you just read and live the life you want to live. Screw what the people of the world have told you and what they're bound to tell you in the future. They only put you down because they themselves are miserable with their own bad choices. Now go. Go and live damn it.
Head Security Guard: Yeah..I WILL.
The head guard stands up, rips off his tie and with an animal like growl runs out of the office, leaving Aaron still tied to the plastic orange chair.
Aaron Miles: Hey wait! Let me out of here first!
The scene fades out with Aaron frantically trying to break free from his zip tie shackles.
Part II
A Little Something, Something
I've had a lot of things on my mind as of late that I've wanted to say, and as the old saying goes, "there's no time like the present".
Ever since I first burst out onto the scene at WAR, I've been hearing a lot of rumbling from people about how quickly the crowd has gotten behind me. The can't understand what the crowds see in me. They can't see that "it" factor that the crowds do.
And that's just the problem: There is no "it" factor. There's no secret formula that I've discovered for making the crowds pop at every mention of my name. There's no cheat code for making the panties of every lady in the front row wet. All I've done is do what so many people in today's industry have forgotten how to do: connect with the people. It's so cool these days to get heat by bashing the hometown crowd, or to get a cheap pop by simply saying the city's name. Or, if you're really desperate, you could always take a cue from some of the female members of the business and whore yourselves out for the love of the crowd. But in the the end, the people are always going to end up getting fed up with the same bs that they're forced to witness, and they turn to the next guy or gal offering up something else.
My fans, however, follow me for a whole other reason. They listen to my every word, mimic my every action and blow the roof off of arenas when my music hits because they know that they can count on me to break up the monotony of the night with something new and fresh. They know that I'm going to do something amazing each and every night, and they appreciate it more than you could ever imagine. And while I could easily resort to using some silly catchphrase or maybe doing some lame shtick comedy routine to win them over, I know that's not what they want and I'm not going to put them through that.
With that said, allow me to address the other group of haters that I've heard speaking up, most noticeably after it was announced that I was receiving a shot at the #1 Contendership to the Hardcore Title. To those people I have but one question: You mad bro? Seriously, the green eyed monster of jealousy must be spreading throughout the locker room like an STD at Logan's house, because from the moment the match was announced, I could hear the rumblings. "Why is he getting a shot?", "Why aren't I being given the same chances?", "Who does this guy think he is?" And the simple answer is, I'm the guy that apparently has done the things the right way and have gotten rewarded for it. I didn't bitch and moan about not getting what I want. I didn't throw temper tantrums and threaten to quit. I just went out there, busted my ass, put on a show that the fans loved and then went home to wait until the next show. So if you're so desperate for answers about why you aren't getting what I'm getting, I suggest you find the closest mirror, study what you see for a few hours and then make a few changes because you obviously aren't as good as you're telling yourself you are.
And finally, concerning the Hardcore Title Contendership match tonight, as I've already said I never imagined myself being in this division when I first came to WCF. But I'd be an idiot if I were to say I wasn't looking forward to the opportunity of starting on the path to my first piece of title gold. I may seem like the unlikeliest of people who should be going for Hardcore gold, being that I'm one of the smallest guys on the roster, but don't mistake my size for a weakness. I can, and will, hit you from every angle, in every place on your body at top speed until I bring you down to my size. And then, just for shits, I'll make you tap out until you're crying like a bitch. So to my fellow competitors tonight I wish you the sincerest best of luck in your future opportunities. But tonight, "The Epitome Of Cool' is going to show the world why the crowd loves him so.
Deuces.
