Post by epitomeofcool on Oct 2, 2011 3:03:18 GMT -5
The scene opens with a shot of "The Epitome of Cool" Aaron Miles standing on an outdoor stage behind a podium in front of a crowd of a few dozen people. He's dressed casually in a white button down dress shirt with the sleeves pushed up above the elbows, a light blue tie that's been loosened, black dress pants and a pair of dress shoes. Oh, and of course a pair of dark sunglasses are covering his eyes, despite the fact that the sun is setting behind him. A few more people begin to trickle into the crowd as Aaron removes the microphone from it's holder and walks out from behind the podium.
Aaron Miles: Ladies..gentlemen..children..distinguished members of the press.
Aaron points out Hank Brown standing near the back of the crowd.
Aaron Miles: Today I am here to change each and everyone of your lives. I am here to save you from the boring, repetitive nature that you have all become so accustomed to. I am here to show you that my way of living is the only way worth living. Now I'm sure you're all thinking to yourselves "Oh sure, I've heard this story a million times. A man claims that he knows how we should live but the only way to learn it is to give him our money. And then when we do, he splits for Reno, laughing all the way." Am I right?
Aaron pauses as he watches more than a few people slowly nod their heads in agreement.
Aaron Miles: Well let me tell you now that I am here to spread my information, information that would be worth millions if I did sell it, to each and everyone of you for the same price you're paying to breathe in the air you're breathing right now. That's right, not a penny. Nilch. Nada. Z-e-r-o.
Most of the crowd now seems interested in what Aaron is saying, however Hank seems less than impressed as he checks his watch.
Aaron Miles: No, all I ask from each of you in return is to simply keep an open mind and believe. Believe in me and the things that I teach to you, and I guarantee that each of your lives will turn for the better. Believe in me, and then believe in yourselves and then there will be nothing that you cannot do.
A chubby fellow in the front of the crowd steps forward and speaks.
Chubby Fellow: I want to believe! Teach me. Share with me your knowledge.
Several others step forward and repeat the chubby fellow's pleas. Aaron holds his arms up and the crowd quickly quiets.
Aaron Miles: My friends the lifestyle that I have to share with you is one simply of choice. Choices, to be exact. For in life there are many choices that you face each and everyday. Doughnut or Eclair? Coke or Pepsi? Left or Right? But the choices that have the most meaning are the most basic of all. Right or Wrong. And that is where my lifestyle, the lifestyle that I want to share with you, comes in. All you have to do is know what the right choice is, and make it everytime.
Chubby Fellow: That's impossible! No one can know what the right choice is everytime.
Aaron Miles: Ah, I see I have my first detractor of the evening. Sir, let me ask you a question? How can you look upon me, a man that is the personification of cool, and question me when I say that I always know what the right choices are and I always make them.
Chubby Fellow: Because it just isn't possible. It's...impossible!
Aaron Miles: Nothing is impossible my portly chum. Allow me to introduce to you a little slide show I've prepared in preparation for you nonbelievers.
The scene fades out as Aaron begins his slide show.
One hour later...
The scene fades back in at the end of the slide show, with the crowd applauding and Aaron taking a bow. He then raises his hands to silence them before speaking again.
Aaron Miles: Now who among you can question my wisdom? Who among you can stand up and say that you do not believe in what I have to say?
The crowd remains silent as Aaron nods knowingly.
Aaron Miles: I knew you were a smart crowd. I knew you were ready to have your minds cleansed of all the negativity and were ready to live a life of right and cool. I just...
Suddenly Hank pushes his way through the crowd and up to the front of the stage.
Hank Brown: I have a question for you.
Aaron Miles: Shoot Hank.
Hank Brown: With all of this time you're spending talking about your teachings of "cool", how are you expecting to be able to compete at a high level in the WAR Match?
Aaron Miles: Glad you asked. Despite what you may think, Aaron Miles is always ready for any situation.
Aaron reaches under his podium and pulls out a reel of slides. He puts them in the projector and first up on the screen is a photo of Odin Balfore, sans WCF Title.
Aaron Miles: People have long referred to me as being delusional for my beliefs and way of life. These people have obviously never met the likes of one Odin Balfore. This man claims that he is the most dangerous and most dominating force that the world has ever seen. I say he is lost in his own dream world, where he sees himself being the most fantastical thing that he can think up. He could be an astronaut, or a football player, or a poorly thought up version of James Bond that runs around saving a condom wrapped Hank Brown from goo.
Aaron pauses as he tries to get that last image out of his mind.
Sorry about putting that image in your mind folks, but if anyone can come up with a better way to describe that scenario without it sounding gay, please let me know?
Aaron waits for a response and gets nothing.
Aaron Miles: Seriously though, are you freaking kidding me? This is the man who last held the most prestigious title in professional wrestling? A man not worthy of holding my place in line thinks that he's the best in the business today? Seven foot tall wrecking ball or not, this is not the WCF that he once ran rampant over. This is the WCF where a man like Balfore is exposed as the over hyped, overexposed and undereducated nuisance that he is.
Aaron clicks onto the next slide, and up pops a photo of Buzzsaw Bundy.
Aaron Miles: So this is what the wrestling fan of today is supposed to believe is main event talent? A muscle head with shit for brains who spews out the same generic bullshit peppered with false hopes of future greatness, and then expects people to take them seriously? Well if this is what the fans are expected to cheer for, what the little kiddies are supposed to look up to, then I pray for the future of the wrestling community. In this day and age too many Buzzsaw Bundy's are being portrayed as the best that are out there, while those with the real talent are being forced to the back burner. Well allow me to go on record right now as saying that Aaron Miles will never be put on the back burner. At least not without a fight that is. WCF will not become another company that only panders to the weak minded, because I will show the world what a real wrestler actually looks, sounds and acts like.
Aaron clicks onto the next slide, and up pops a photo of Jake Keeton
Aaron Miles: Moving on from the predictable and cliched brainless muscle head, let's move right along to another outdated wrestling personality that we could all live without, the self righteous hypocrite. When I heard Jake Keeton speak I was, at first, impressed with what he had to say. Here was a man speaking out against the roster for overlooking so many while focusing their words at only Logan and Odin Balfore. I will admit that I myself was guilty of the act, and for being intelligent enough to notice such a thing and call everyone on the roster for it is worthy of a tip of the cap.
Aaron pauses to tip an imaginary cap toward the camera.
Aaron Miles: But then, in the same instant that you gained my admiration, you lost it by pulling a one hundred and eighty degree turn and committing the same act that you had just chastised the entire roster for committing. Do you have Alzheimer's Mr. Keeton? Or do you simply not care how much of an idiot you make yourself look like by saying the things that you do? And before you start off on a spiel where you question how a rookie thinks he has any right to speak to you in such a way, let me remind you that you asked for this. You put it right out in the open for the world to see. You said you deserved to be on the minds of the people and have your name on their tongues, well now you have it. Do you honestly think that you deserve to be put on any pedestal simply because you were, in your own words and your own world, "the greatest TV champion in WCF history"? You know what a moniker like that gets you Jake? It's not a pedestal, I can tell you that. Hell, it won't even get you a cookie. All that'll get you is a roll of the eyes and a mock applause from the two people that bother to stick around and hear what you have to say. And let's just talk about that "greatest TV title reign" of yours, shall we? See, it's like I told Hank Brown the other day, I do my homework. I went on-line after I listened to your little rant, and I looked up some fun facts about that magical title reign of yours. And you know what I found out? That you held the TV Title for all of 16 days. 16 days. Let's give it up for the man people.
Aaron pauses as crickets chirp amongst the audience.
Aaron Miles: 16 days with the belt before you had to vacate it due to an injury. Or as I like to put it, dropped it like a bitch. What ever happened to the days of the fighting champion. When guys would break their ribs, tape them up and then go right back out there the next week to fight to keep the titles that they so dearly kept close to their hearts. But that isn't you Jake, now is it? You aren't that kind of champion. You're the kind of champion that sucks up the glory like a whore until they realize that they can't take the pressure anymore and quit. And now you think you're ready to be a World Champion? To be the guy that is looked upon as the leader of the company? Maybe you should just stick to the Television Title Division and let those of us who can actually carry a company on our backs to fight it out.
Aaron clicks over to the last slide in his slide show, this one a collage of everyone on the WCF roster.
Aaron Miles: And finally we come to the rest of the WCF roster. A random assortment of misfits, hooligans and miscreants all with one thing in common: not one of them takes me seriously. I publicly blast Odin Balfore and Logan, and not one of them even bothers to respond to my comments. What, do you both believe in your own hype so much that you are blind to the man who will lead to both of your downfalls? Or is it that the two of you, both veterans and legends in your own minds, fear a rookie enough to keep silent despite the fact that he called you out? Personally I'm leaning toward a little bit of column A and column B. As for everyone else, all I can say is that overlooking me is going to be the biggest mistake of your lives. Mark my words, you will live to regret the day you chose to ignore the words of Aaron Miles.
The scene abruptly ends.
Aaron Miles: Ladies..gentlemen..children..distinguished members of the press.
Aaron points out Hank Brown standing near the back of the crowd.
Aaron Miles: Today I am here to change each and everyone of your lives. I am here to save you from the boring, repetitive nature that you have all become so accustomed to. I am here to show you that my way of living is the only way worth living. Now I'm sure you're all thinking to yourselves "Oh sure, I've heard this story a million times. A man claims that he knows how we should live but the only way to learn it is to give him our money. And then when we do, he splits for Reno, laughing all the way." Am I right?
Aaron pauses as he watches more than a few people slowly nod their heads in agreement.
Aaron Miles: Well let me tell you now that I am here to spread my information, information that would be worth millions if I did sell it, to each and everyone of you for the same price you're paying to breathe in the air you're breathing right now. That's right, not a penny. Nilch. Nada. Z-e-r-o.
Most of the crowd now seems interested in what Aaron is saying, however Hank seems less than impressed as he checks his watch.
Aaron Miles: No, all I ask from each of you in return is to simply keep an open mind and believe. Believe in me and the things that I teach to you, and I guarantee that each of your lives will turn for the better. Believe in me, and then believe in yourselves and then there will be nothing that you cannot do.
A chubby fellow in the front of the crowd steps forward and speaks.
Chubby Fellow: I want to believe! Teach me. Share with me your knowledge.
Several others step forward and repeat the chubby fellow's pleas. Aaron holds his arms up and the crowd quickly quiets.
Aaron Miles: My friends the lifestyle that I have to share with you is one simply of choice. Choices, to be exact. For in life there are many choices that you face each and everyday. Doughnut or Eclair? Coke or Pepsi? Left or Right? But the choices that have the most meaning are the most basic of all. Right or Wrong. And that is where my lifestyle, the lifestyle that I want to share with you, comes in. All you have to do is know what the right choice is, and make it everytime.
Chubby Fellow: That's impossible! No one can know what the right choice is everytime.
Aaron Miles: Ah, I see I have my first detractor of the evening. Sir, let me ask you a question? How can you look upon me, a man that is the personification of cool, and question me when I say that I always know what the right choices are and I always make them.
Chubby Fellow: Because it just isn't possible. It's...impossible!
Aaron Miles: Nothing is impossible my portly chum. Allow me to introduce to you a little slide show I've prepared in preparation for you nonbelievers.
The scene fades out as Aaron begins his slide show.
One hour later...
The scene fades back in at the end of the slide show, with the crowd applauding and Aaron taking a bow. He then raises his hands to silence them before speaking again.
Aaron Miles: Now who among you can question my wisdom? Who among you can stand up and say that you do not believe in what I have to say?
The crowd remains silent as Aaron nods knowingly.
Aaron Miles: I knew you were a smart crowd. I knew you were ready to have your minds cleansed of all the negativity and were ready to live a life of right and cool. I just...
Suddenly Hank pushes his way through the crowd and up to the front of the stage.
Hank Brown: I have a question for you.
Aaron Miles: Shoot Hank.
Hank Brown: With all of this time you're spending talking about your teachings of "cool", how are you expecting to be able to compete at a high level in the WAR Match?
Aaron Miles: Glad you asked. Despite what you may think, Aaron Miles is always ready for any situation.
Aaron reaches under his podium and pulls out a reel of slides. He puts them in the projector and first up on the screen is a photo of Odin Balfore, sans WCF Title.
Aaron Miles: People have long referred to me as being delusional for my beliefs and way of life. These people have obviously never met the likes of one Odin Balfore. This man claims that he is the most dangerous and most dominating force that the world has ever seen. I say he is lost in his own dream world, where he sees himself being the most fantastical thing that he can think up. He could be an astronaut, or a football player, or a poorly thought up version of James Bond that runs around saving a condom wrapped Hank Brown from goo.
Aaron pauses as he tries to get that last image out of his mind.
Sorry about putting that image in your mind folks, but if anyone can come up with a better way to describe that scenario without it sounding gay, please let me know?
Aaron waits for a response and gets nothing.
Aaron Miles: Seriously though, are you freaking kidding me? This is the man who last held the most prestigious title in professional wrestling? A man not worthy of holding my place in line thinks that he's the best in the business today? Seven foot tall wrecking ball or not, this is not the WCF that he once ran rampant over. This is the WCF where a man like Balfore is exposed as the over hyped, overexposed and undereducated nuisance that he is.
Aaron clicks onto the next slide, and up pops a photo of Buzzsaw Bundy.
Aaron Miles: So this is what the wrestling fan of today is supposed to believe is main event talent? A muscle head with shit for brains who spews out the same generic bullshit peppered with false hopes of future greatness, and then expects people to take them seriously? Well if this is what the fans are expected to cheer for, what the little kiddies are supposed to look up to, then I pray for the future of the wrestling community. In this day and age too many Buzzsaw Bundy's are being portrayed as the best that are out there, while those with the real talent are being forced to the back burner. Well allow me to go on record right now as saying that Aaron Miles will never be put on the back burner. At least not without a fight that is. WCF will not become another company that only panders to the weak minded, because I will show the world what a real wrestler actually looks, sounds and acts like.
Aaron clicks onto the next slide, and up pops a photo of Jake Keeton
Aaron Miles: Moving on from the predictable and cliched brainless muscle head, let's move right along to another outdated wrestling personality that we could all live without, the self righteous hypocrite. When I heard Jake Keeton speak I was, at first, impressed with what he had to say. Here was a man speaking out against the roster for overlooking so many while focusing their words at only Logan and Odin Balfore. I will admit that I myself was guilty of the act, and for being intelligent enough to notice such a thing and call everyone on the roster for it is worthy of a tip of the cap.
Aaron pauses to tip an imaginary cap toward the camera.
Aaron Miles: But then, in the same instant that you gained my admiration, you lost it by pulling a one hundred and eighty degree turn and committing the same act that you had just chastised the entire roster for committing. Do you have Alzheimer's Mr. Keeton? Or do you simply not care how much of an idiot you make yourself look like by saying the things that you do? And before you start off on a spiel where you question how a rookie thinks he has any right to speak to you in such a way, let me remind you that you asked for this. You put it right out in the open for the world to see. You said you deserved to be on the minds of the people and have your name on their tongues, well now you have it. Do you honestly think that you deserve to be put on any pedestal simply because you were, in your own words and your own world, "the greatest TV champion in WCF history"? You know what a moniker like that gets you Jake? It's not a pedestal, I can tell you that. Hell, it won't even get you a cookie. All that'll get you is a roll of the eyes and a mock applause from the two people that bother to stick around and hear what you have to say. And let's just talk about that "greatest TV title reign" of yours, shall we? See, it's like I told Hank Brown the other day, I do my homework. I went on-line after I listened to your little rant, and I looked up some fun facts about that magical title reign of yours. And you know what I found out? That you held the TV Title for all of 16 days. 16 days. Let's give it up for the man people.
Aaron pauses as crickets chirp amongst the audience.
Aaron Miles: 16 days with the belt before you had to vacate it due to an injury. Or as I like to put it, dropped it like a bitch. What ever happened to the days of the fighting champion. When guys would break their ribs, tape them up and then go right back out there the next week to fight to keep the titles that they so dearly kept close to their hearts. But that isn't you Jake, now is it? You aren't that kind of champion. You're the kind of champion that sucks up the glory like a whore until they realize that they can't take the pressure anymore and quit. And now you think you're ready to be a World Champion? To be the guy that is looked upon as the leader of the company? Maybe you should just stick to the Television Title Division and let those of us who can actually carry a company on our backs to fight it out.
Aaron clicks over to the last slide in his slide show, this one a collage of everyone on the WCF roster.
Aaron Miles: And finally we come to the rest of the WCF roster. A random assortment of misfits, hooligans and miscreants all with one thing in common: not one of them takes me seriously. I publicly blast Odin Balfore and Logan, and not one of them even bothers to respond to my comments. What, do you both believe in your own hype so much that you are blind to the man who will lead to both of your downfalls? Or is it that the two of you, both veterans and legends in your own minds, fear a rookie enough to keep silent despite the fact that he called you out? Personally I'm leaning toward a little bit of column A and column B. As for everyone else, all I can say is that overlooking me is going to be the biggest mistake of your lives. Mark my words, you will live to regret the day you chose to ignore the words of Aaron Miles.
The scene abruptly ends.
