Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2006 3:38:49 GMT -5
(It's midnight. The temperature is in the low 30s. The streets in town are mostly empty. Bobby Cairo walks along the sidewalk. He's wearing a winter jacket and jeans. He has a laundry sack slung over his right shoulder. He stops in front of the all-night Laundromat and walks inside. Bobby empties the sack into one of the washing machines. He buys a box of detergent from a machine and pours it into the washer. He puts some quarters into the slot, adjusts the settings and pushes the start button.)
"And now... we wait."
(Bobby sits down in a chair and stares at the wall. A short, fat, balding, white man wearing a pink muumuu enters the Laundromat, breaking Bobby from his trance. The man is carrying a laundry basket. He walks over to one of the dryers and takes some clothes out of it. He folds the clothes and places them in his basket. He notices Bobby staring at him.)
"Can I help you with something?"
"Sorry. I didn't mean to stare. I'm just waiting for my laundry in the washer. That's an interesting outfit that you're wearing."
"It was the last clean piece of clothing in my apartment, so I figured that it might be time to do a wash. This is the muumuu that Dom DeLuise wore at his civil union. I bought it at a garage sale a while back."
"No kidding? That's an interesting story."
"I got this for $3, can you believe that?"
"Not bad. Not bad at all."
"I'm sorry, where are my manners? My name is Sal Gilberti."
"I'm Bobby Cairo. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sal."
"Bobby Cairo? That name sounds familiar."
"I'm a professional wrestler. I just signed a deal with the WCF. I'm making my debut this Sunday at the Till Death Do Us Part pay-per-view extravaganza."
"That's right. I read about you in the paper. You're the local hero."
"That's very kind of you to say that. Thank you."
"I was never a wrestling fan, but I've always loved pizza."
(Sal licks his lips, no doubt fantasizing about pizza right now.)
"Sure. Pizza is great. I love pizza, too."
"I don't think you love pizza the way that I love pizza. Have you ever had sex with a pizza and then eaten the pizza after you've had sex with it?"
"Don't talk to me."
(Sal finishes folding his laundry and leaves. Bobby goes back to staring at the wall. After a few minutes pass, the washer finally finishes. Bobby tranfers his laundry from the washer into a nearby dryer and sits back down. A few more minutes pass and a Hispanic man wearing a business suit enters the Laundromat. He walks over to Bobby.)
"Hi. What's up, man?"
"Hello, sir."
"Listen, man, I need the hook-up. You got the hook-up, man?"
"The hook-up? No I'm just doing some laundry. By trade, I'm a professional wrestler."
"You're a wrestler?"
"Yes. I'm making my debut for the Wrestling Championship Federation this Sunday. I'm competing in a four way match against Big Country, Chris Burn and Wreck."
"Seriously, man. You're a wrestler?"
"Yes and I'm very excited about my debut. I'm going against these three tough brawler types, but I plan on using my technical marvel to subdue them and give the fans a wrestling star that they can be proud to cheer for. A man who represents truth, justice and the American way."
"That's cool, man, that's cool. But I need the hook-up."
"I don't have the hook-up, now get away from me."
(The man turns around and walks out the door. Bobby accidentally hits himself in the head while trying to swat a fly.)
"Son of a bitch!"
(After another 20 minutes of waiting, Bobby's laundry is finally done. He folds it, bags it and begins his journey back home.)
"And now... we wait."
(Bobby sits down in a chair and stares at the wall. A short, fat, balding, white man wearing a pink muumuu enters the Laundromat, breaking Bobby from his trance. The man is carrying a laundry basket. He walks over to one of the dryers and takes some clothes out of it. He folds the clothes and places them in his basket. He notices Bobby staring at him.)
"Can I help you with something?"
"Sorry. I didn't mean to stare. I'm just waiting for my laundry in the washer. That's an interesting outfit that you're wearing."
"It was the last clean piece of clothing in my apartment, so I figured that it might be time to do a wash. This is the muumuu that Dom DeLuise wore at his civil union. I bought it at a garage sale a while back."
"No kidding? That's an interesting story."
"I got this for $3, can you believe that?"
"Not bad. Not bad at all."
"I'm sorry, where are my manners? My name is Sal Gilberti."
"I'm Bobby Cairo. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sal."
"Bobby Cairo? That name sounds familiar."
"I'm a professional wrestler. I just signed a deal with the WCF. I'm making my debut this Sunday at the Till Death Do Us Part pay-per-view extravaganza."
"That's right. I read about you in the paper. You're the local hero."
"That's very kind of you to say that. Thank you."
"I was never a wrestling fan, but I've always loved pizza."
(Sal licks his lips, no doubt fantasizing about pizza right now.)
"Sure. Pizza is great. I love pizza, too."
"I don't think you love pizza the way that I love pizza. Have you ever had sex with a pizza and then eaten the pizza after you've had sex with it?"
"Don't talk to me."
(Sal finishes folding his laundry and leaves. Bobby goes back to staring at the wall. After a few minutes pass, the washer finally finishes. Bobby tranfers his laundry from the washer into a nearby dryer and sits back down. A few more minutes pass and a Hispanic man wearing a business suit enters the Laundromat. He walks over to Bobby.)
"Hi. What's up, man?"
"Hello, sir."
"Listen, man, I need the hook-up. You got the hook-up, man?"
"The hook-up? No I'm just doing some laundry. By trade, I'm a professional wrestler."
"You're a wrestler?"
"Yes. I'm making my debut for the Wrestling Championship Federation this Sunday. I'm competing in a four way match against Big Country, Chris Burn and Wreck."
"Seriously, man. You're a wrestler?"
"Yes and I'm very excited about my debut. I'm going against these three tough brawler types, but I plan on using my technical marvel to subdue them and give the fans a wrestling star that they can be proud to cheer for. A man who represents truth, justice and the American way."
"That's cool, man, that's cool. But I need the hook-up."
"I don't have the hook-up, now get away from me."
(The man turns around and walks out the door. Bobby accidentally hits himself in the head while trying to swat a fly.)
"Son of a bitch!"
(After another 20 minutes of waiting, Bobby's laundry is finally done. He folds it, bags it and begins his journey back home.)
