Post by Logan on Sept 27, 2011 15:25:51 GMT -5
HANK BROWN: Thank you for meeting me today.
LOGAN: Yup.
The pair is located inside of a room somewhere within WCF headquarters. That’s apparent because a huge War poster hangs just behind them.
LOGAN: Who’s that?
With some confusion he points his finger to a figure on the War poster.
HANK BROWN: Ryan Blake.
LOGAN: …?
HANK BROWN: He –
He is abruptly cut off.
LOGAN: SHUT UP!
HANK BROWN: Yes, thank you. So, Logan, this is your eighth War match. How does that make you feel?
LOGAN: Old.
HANK BROWN: Oh?
LOGAN: No, I’m kidding. But really this is number eight?
HANK BROWN: Y-
LOGAN: SHUT UP!
HANK BROWN: Erm. The War match itself as usual is pretty packed to the brim with impressive talent like Brad Kane, Johnny Reb, Oblivion, and Doc Henry just to name a few. Given that you have participated in eight Wars and won three of them, do you feel like you have an advantage over the others?
LOGAN: Of course, boudle, I’m Logan. It wouldn’t matter if I had never even heard of this match before; I’d still have the edge. But sure, and I’m glad you brought this up and I’ll remind you and all the Loganvisionaries watching at home once more… I am Logan. Do you know what that means? Huh? SHUT UP! Look at this finger.
He points an index finger up.
LOGAN: See that finger?
HANK BROWN: Yes.
LOGAN: That finger has more sex appeal than Kaylyn James fake ass balloon titties.
HANK BROWN: Wel-
LOGAN: SHUT UP! This finger alone has won more titles in WCF than the entire combined championship history of everyone participating in the War match.
HANK BROWN: Well, that is certainly impressive.
LOGAN: You betcha boudle ass.
Methodically, he looks to his finger then to Hank Brown.
LOGAN: You want to touch it?
The interviewer’s eyes fall onto Logan’s crotch.
HANK BROWN: I’d – I’d, uh, love t-
LOGAN: My finger, you homo trashcan!
The finger is withdrawn.
LOGAN: Up here.
He directs two fingers into his eyes and Hank Brown blushes red.
LOGAN: What the hell’s wrong with you, over there eyeballing the jumbo hotdog of treachery.
HANK BROWN: No, sorry, I really wasn’t.
LOGAN: Carry on, boudle.
With that said, Hank Brown redirects his eyes onto Logan’s crotch.
LOGAN: HEY!
He snaps his fingers.
LOGAN: With the interview..
HANK BROWN: Right, right! Sorry, I really wasn’t looking at that, just had an off day and been day dreaming a whole lot lately.
LOGAN: Probably dreaming about that raccoon weren’t you, you horny bastard.
HANK BROWN: Raccoon? Anyway, do you have some comments for any of your opponents this week?
LOGAN: Suuuure. Who do we got, well, let’s see.. DOC HENRY. Good ole Doc. How’s your ass? I’m sure you remember that cage match a few months ago and that big collard green ass whooping that came along with it.
HANK BROWN: Good matc-
LOGAN: SHUT UP! Yeah, Doc, I’m sure you’ll be quite excited this Monday seeing that the love of your life, Johnny Reb, has returned. I do hope that in some way he comes in before you do and gets a Connector and elimination, and then, can you see it Doc? And then just as he’s leaving the ring and walking his broke ass up the ramp.. you come out. You know what I’ll do, Doc? I will laugh. I’ll laugh because any little thing I can do to upset you is nothing but good times for me. Good times!
HANK BROWN: Yeah, man!
He raises his hand in the form of a high-five. Logan takes a brief disgusted moment to stare at Hank’s hand before looking away and continuing.
LOGAN: Put your hand down. And then you have Oblivion, now that’s a guy who is in desperate need of a trip to Connector City, and maybe even a little shock treatment while he’s there. Despite the matter of time you have been here I don’t think I have ever witnessed a genuine sane word come out of your mouth. I mean, you’d have to be completely and utterly nuts to put the word treachery in one of your moves while under the employment of WCF. That’s what it’s called right? The Treachery Stomp? The Boudle Stomp? The Look-At-Me-I’m-A-Fuckin-Nutter Stomp? SHUT UP! And then look what you’ve done, you have actually gotten the audience to sing along with your stupid little move every time you perform it. Ha, a stomp. What’s that? That’s no Connector, babygurl. It damn sure isn’t an Impact Style. What have you really got, Oblivion? You’ve got NOTHING. Do you really think that little stomp performance is going to win you a War? Ha.. NOTHING. I’ll tell you what wins Wars, Loganshooters win Wars, Belly to Belly yer’ ass out of the sky suplexes wins Wars. You know what you can do? You can take that little stomp and stomp it right up Odin Balfore’s raccoon penis scented ass!
HANK BROWN: Yeah!
LOGAN: SHUT UP! And what other bags of garbage do we got stinking up this War match.
HANK BROWN: D-Day.
LOGAN: D-Day, Double D, the hair on my ass has more character than you. Oh, did you really expect me to be nice because you’re Mr. Good Guy? Day, you walk around here like a robot that was programmed to do generic promos, perform generic matches, and generically just SUCK. So, listen here, Spock, do you see this mole?
He points to a mole on his arm and the camera zooms in to examine.
LOGAN: This mole could whoop your ass.
The feed slowly dies. The rest of the interview can be seen in video or word format on WCF.com.
LOGAN: Yup.
The pair is located inside of a room somewhere within WCF headquarters. That’s apparent because a huge War poster hangs just behind them.
LOGAN: Who’s that?
With some confusion he points his finger to a figure on the War poster.
HANK BROWN: Ryan Blake.
LOGAN: …?
HANK BROWN: He –
He is abruptly cut off.
LOGAN: SHUT UP!
HANK BROWN: Yes, thank you. So, Logan, this is your eighth War match. How does that make you feel?
LOGAN: Old.
HANK BROWN: Oh?
LOGAN: No, I’m kidding. But really this is number eight?
HANK BROWN: Y-
LOGAN: SHUT UP!
HANK BROWN: Erm. The War match itself as usual is pretty packed to the brim with impressive talent like Brad Kane, Johnny Reb, Oblivion, and Doc Henry just to name a few. Given that you have participated in eight Wars and won three of them, do you feel like you have an advantage over the others?
LOGAN: Of course, boudle, I’m Logan. It wouldn’t matter if I had never even heard of this match before; I’d still have the edge. But sure, and I’m glad you brought this up and I’ll remind you and all the Loganvisionaries watching at home once more… I am Logan. Do you know what that means? Huh? SHUT UP! Look at this finger.
He points an index finger up.
LOGAN: See that finger?
HANK BROWN: Yes.
LOGAN: That finger has more sex appeal than Kaylyn James fake ass balloon titties.
HANK BROWN: Wel-
LOGAN: SHUT UP! This finger alone has won more titles in WCF than the entire combined championship history of everyone participating in the War match.
HANK BROWN: Well, that is certainly impressive.
LOGAN: You betcha boudle ass.
Methodically, he looks to his finger then to Hank Brown.
LOGAN: You want to touch it?
The interviewer’s eyes fall onto Logan’s crotch.
HANK BROWN: I’d – I’d, uh, love t-
LOGAN: My finger, you homo trashcan!
The finger is withdrawn.
LOGAN: Up here.
He directs two fingers into his eyes and Hank Brown blushes red.
LOGAN: What the hell’s wrong with you, over there eyeballing the jumbo hotdog of treachery.
HANK BROWN: No, sorry, I really wasn’t.
LOGAN: Carry on, boudle.
With that said, Hank Brown redirects his eyes onto Logan’s crotch.
LOGAN: HEY!
He snaps his fingers.
LOGAN: With the interview..
HANK BROWN: Right, right! Sorry, I really wasn’t looking at that, just had an off day and been day dreaming a whole lot lately.
LOGAN: Probably dreaming about that raccoon weren’t you, you horny bastard.
HANK BROWN: Raccoon? Anyway, do you have some comments for any of your opponents this week?
LOGAN: Suuuure. Who do we got, well, let’s see.. DOC HENRY. Good ole Doc. How’s your ass? I’m sure you remember that cage match a few months ago and that big collard green ass whooping that came along with it.
HANK BROWN: Good matc-
LOGAN: SHUT UP! Yeah, Doc, I’m sure you’ll be quite excited this Monday seeing that the love of your life, Johnny Reb, has returned. I do hope that in some way he comes in before you do and gets a Connector and elimination, and then, can you see it Doc? And then just as he’s leaving the ring and walking his broke ass up the ramp.. you come out. You know what I’ll do, Doc? I will laugh. I’ll laugh because any little thing I can do to upset you is nothing but good times for me. Good times!
HANK BROWN: Yeah, man!
He raises his hand in the form of a high-five. Logan takes a brief disgusted moment to stare at Hank’s hand before looking away and continuing.
LOGAN: Put your hand down. And then you have Oblivion, now that’s a guy who is in desperate need of a trip to Connector City, and maybe even a little shock treatment while he’s there. Despite the matter of time you have been here I don’t think I have ever witnessed a genuine sane word come out of your mouth. I mean, you’d have to be completely and utterly nuts to put the word treachery in one of your moves while under the employment of WCF. That’s what it’s called right? The Treachery Stomp? The Boudle Stomp? The Look-At-Me-I’m-A-Fuckin-Nutter Stomp? SHUT UP! And then look what you’ve done, you have actually gotten the audience to sing along with your stupid little move every time you perform it. Ha, a stomp. What’s that? That’s no Connector, babygurl. It damn sure isn’t an Impact Style. What have you really got, Oblivion? You’ve got NOTHING. Do you really think that little stomp performance is going to win you a War? Ha.. NOTHING. I’ll tell you what wins Wars, Loganshooters win Wars, Belly to Belly yer’ ass out of the sky suplexes wins Wars. You know what you can do? You can take that little stomp and stomp it right up Odin Balfore’s raccoon penis scented ass!
HANK BROWN: Yeah!
LOGAN: SHUT UP! And what other bags of garbage do we got stinking up this War match.
HANK BROWN: D-Day.
LOGAN: D-Day, Double D, the hair on my ass has more character than you. Oh, did you really expect me to be nice because you’re Mr. Good Guy? Day, you walk around here like a robot that was programmed to do generic promos, perform generic matches, and generically just SUCK. So, listen here, Spock, do you see this mole?
He points to a mole on his arm and the camera zooms in to examine.
LOGAN: This mole could whoop your ass.
The feed slowly dies. The rest of the interview can be seen in video or word format on WCF.com.
