Post by Danny Vice on Jul 13, 2007 11:58:00 GMT -5
A stage and podium have been set-up in the parking lot of the Tokyo Dome. All the major Eastern Asian newspapers and websites have sent their top sports reporters to cover this international extravaganza known as XIII. Most of those reporters are seated in special edition XIII chairs in front of the podium, waiting for the press conference Danny Vice called, to begin. Jimmy Vice walks out onto the stage and podium to an explosion of camera flashes before stepping up to the microphone.
Jimmy Vice: Ladies and gentleman, today kicks off one of the most important events in the International Community. Today, the United States and people of Japan come together to watch a sports spectacle like no other found in the world. Today, is XIII.
A small applause breaks out amongst the reporters.
Jimmy Vice: My brother has called you all here because he feels the relationship between the Japanese and American people has been strained over the past 100 years. There was Pearl Harbor. Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The movie 'Mr. Baseball' starting Tom Selleck. International competition for supremacy in the automotive industry. Ichiro Suzuki, Hideki Matsui, and Daisuke Matsuzaka. Our terrible remake of 'Godzilla' in 1998. Sailor Moon and the Power Rangers. Hulk Hogan and Antonio Inoki. The list can range for days. So without further ado, I present to you the future Hardcore Champion of the WCF....Danny "The Vagrant" Vice.
Danny receives a warm welcome to the stage from the crowd except for a handful of leather vested males in the back row who are pledging their allegiance to Johnny Craven in Japanese.
Danny Vice: I'm not here today to correct grammar or attempt to delve into the reasoning behind Johnny Craven having his friends beat him senseless hours before this historic Tokyo Street Fight. I am here to start the healing process between Japan and the United States by offering the floor to this panel of representatives in a No Holds Barred question and answer session. No topic is too risque for me today. So, you sir. Please, get us started.
Reporter 1: Taka taka dirka dirka mishis nobu dianake?
Danny Vice: Umm... (a confused look comes over Danny's face) Shit. Jimmy, we forgot to bring a translator to this thing. Ok, I will only be taking questions from those of you who speak English. Sorry, totally my bad. You sir.
Reporter 2: Yes...Mr. Vice, what do you think about David Beckham's move to Los Angeles?
Danny Vice: Umm, well I guess it's cool. If his wife gains about 10 pounds she'd be smoking hot. Plus his son's name is Brooklyn which is neat. Next question. You, ma'am.
Reporter 3: Have you seen the pictures of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo getting it on in a hot tub at their resort in Mexico? I hear they are very racy!
Danny Vice: What? No! Please, anything about wrestling maybe? You, sir.
Reporter 4: Do you think you could defeat current IWGP and TNA Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle in a match?
Danny Vice: I sure think I would be able to. He's a great competitor, but if you've heard him on his radio interviews the guy is an absolute whack job. You, sir.
Reporter 5: Is Seth Lerch really a virgin?
Danny Vice: Ok, not really the type of wrestling question I had in mind, so I'll skip that one. You, ma'am.
Reporter 6: Who is the most underappreciated athlete you have ever met?
Danny Vice: Great question. AJ Styles without a doubt. A pure specimen of ability who should be nothing less than World Champion and Ruler of the World. You, sir.
Reporter 7: Do you think Britney Spears will ever make a comeback like the Spice Girls?
Danny Vice: No comment. Really? Seriously? One shot at a question and you use that one? You sir!
Reporter 8: Who really 'brought Sexy back?'
Danny Vice: Alright, that's enough. Come on people. Are you truly that obsessed with American celeberity that you don't have questions about XIII? The Tokyo Street Fight? The huge intercontinental tag team match? The return of Torture or JJ BIggs? The Nightmare Chamber? This is a huge event! It's groundbreaking for the WCF. And you know what, it's a make-or-break match for myself and Johnny Craven. Look closely at both of us. Each of us, former Hardcore Champions. Each of us have been noted for our psychologic dichotomy. Well-mannered and adored by our fans outside of the ring, but as sick of individuals since...since...well since The Sick Individuals. And tonight, we're going to put our bodies, minds and spirits through an irreparable amount of torture to entertain. Hell, forget about the entertainment. We're going to do it so we can thrive. Because, deep down, everyone in this business is here to attempt to quench and insatiable thirst. A thirst as deep and emblazoned upon us since the day of our birth. Like a mirage on a scorching summer day in the Sahara, this thirst can make a man crazy. Make his eyes filled red with hate and anger. Make his blood boil. Make his skin itch. Matches like a Tokyo Street Fight give new meaning to the term bloodlust. Tonight, Johnny Craven and I will attempt, yet again, to conquer that insatiable yearning. And in the end, only one will stand tall. Only one will survive. Only one will continue their pursuit. Tonight, Johnny Craven, will be my night to hunt, to conquer, to indulge, and to thrive. Tonight Johnny Craven, is the night The Vagrant emerges prophetic and victorious. And there is nothing...NOTHING...you can do about it.
Vice, seemingly demonized and possessed, mouth foaming, walks off the stage to silence from the crowd. A single photograph is taken by someone in the masses, creating a murmur throughout. The camera widens its scope before slowly focusing on the shine off the roof of the Tokyo Dome, before cutting out.
Jimmy Vice: Ladies and gentleman, today kicks off one of the most important events in the International Community. Today, the United States and people of Japan come together to watch a sports spectacle like no other found in the world. Today, is XIII.
A small applause breaks out amongst the reporters.
Jimmy Vice: My brother has called you all here because he feels the relationship between the Japanese and American people has been strained over the past 100 years. There was Pearl Harbor. Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The movie 'Mr. Baseball' starting Tom Selleck. International competition for supremacy in the automotive industry. Ichiro Suzuki, Hideki Matsui, and Daisuke Matsuzaka. Our terrible remake of 'Godzilla' in 1998. Sailor Moon and the Power Rangers. Hulk Hogan and Antonio Inoki. The list can range for days. So without further ado, I present to you the future Hardcore Champion of the WCF....Danny "The Vagrant" Vice.
Danny receives a warm welcome to the stage from the crowd except for a handful of leather vested males in the back row who are pledging their allegiance to Johnny Craven in Japanese.
Danny Vice: I'm not here today to correct grammar or attempt to delve into the reasoning behind Johnny Craven having his friends beat him senseless hours before this historic Tokyo Street Fight. I am here to start the healing process between Japan and the United States by offering the floor to this panel of representatives in a No Holds Barred question and answer session. No topic is too risque for me today. So, you sir. Please, get us started.
Reporter 1: Taka taka dirka dirka mishis nobu dianake?
Danny Vice: Umm... (a confused look comes over Danny's face) Shit. Jimmy, we forgot to bring a translator to this thing. Ok, I will only be taking questions from those of you who speak English. Sorry, totally my bad. You sir.
Reporter 2: Yes...Mr. Vice, what do you think about David Beckham's move to Los Angeles?
Danny Vice: Umm, well I guess it's cool. If his wife gains about 10 pounds she'd be smoking hot. Plus his son's name is Brooklyn which is neat. Next question. You, ma'am.
Reporter 3: Have you seen the pictures of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo getting it on in a hot tub at their resort in Mexico? I hear they are very racy!
Danny Vice: What? No! Please, anything about wrestling maybe? You, sir.
Reporter 4: Do you think you could defeat current IWGP and TNA Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle in a match?
Danny Vice: I sure think I would be able to. He's a great competitor, but if you've heard him on his radio interviews the guy is an absolute whack job. You, sir.
Reporter 5: Is Seth Lerch really a virgin?
Danny Vice: Ok, not really the type of wrestling question I had in mind, so I'll skip that one. You, ma'am.
Reporter 6: Who is the most underappreciated athlete you have ever met?
Danny Vice: Great question. AJ Styles without a doubt. A pure specimen of ability who should be nothing less than World Champion and Ruler of the World. You, sir.
Reporter 7: Do you think Britney Spears will ever make a comeback like the Spice Girls?
Danny Vice: No comment. Really? Seriously? One shot at a question and you use that one? You sir!
Reporter 8: Who really 'brought Sexy back?'
Danny Vice: Alright, that's enough. Come on people. Are you truly that obsessed with American celeberity that you don't have questions about XIII? The Tokyo Street Fight? The huge intercontinental tag team match? The return of Torture or JJ BIggs? The Nightmare Chamber? This is a huge event! It's groundbreaking for the WCF. And you know what, it's a make-or-break match for myself and Johnny Craven. Look closely at both of us. Each of us, former Hardcore Champions. Each of us have been noted for our psychologic dichotomy. Well-mannered and adored by our fans outside of the ring, but as sick of individuals since...since...well since The Sick Individuals. And tonight, we're going to put our bodies, minds and spirits through an irreparable amount of torture to entertain. Hell, forget about the entertainment. We're going to do it so we can thrive. Because, deep down, everyone in this business is here to attempt to quench and insatiable thirst. A thirst as deep and emblazoned upon us since the day of our birth. Like a mirage on a scorching summer day in the Sahara, this thirst can make a man crazy. Make his eyes filled red with hate and anger. Make his blood boil. Make his skin itch. Matches like a Tokyo Street Fight give new meaning to the term bloodlust. Tonight, Johnny Craven and I will attempt, yet again, to conquer that insatiable yearning. And in the end, only one will stand tall. Only one will survive. Only one will continue their pursuit. Tonight, Johnny Craven, will be my night to hunt, to conquer, to indulge, and to thrive. Tonight Johnny Craven, is the night The Vagrant emerges prophetic and victorious. And there is nothing...NOTHING...you can do about it.
Vice, seemingly demonized and possessed, mouth foaming, walks off the stage to silence from the crowd. A single photograph is taken by someone in the masses, creating a murmur throughout. The camera widens its scope before slowly focusing on the shine off the roof of the Tokyo Dome, before cutting out.
