Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2011 1:12:40 GMT -5
{{Moments after the Ultimate Showdown pay-per-view went off the air...
Hank Brown is standing backstage at the Giant Center in Hershey with Phillip Baines, whose face has been so badly disfigured that it's barely recognizable. Hank callously crams a microphone in Phil's face anyway.}}
Hank Brown: "Phil, I want to thank you for stopping by with me. I know that you must be in a lot of pain right now."
{{Phil's head drifts to the side, looking like a man who's barely conscious.}}
Phillip Baines: "Not really, Hank. They've got me hopped up on so many meds right now that I can barely feel a thing."
Hank: "Can you give us an update on your medical condition after that hellacious Hardcore Championship match that you wrestled tonight?"
Phil: "Well the medical staff did a bang up job. They stitched up my face to close up all of those nasty cuts from the barbed wire and staples and shit like that. I think they said... it took one-hundred and seventy-four stitches?"
Hank: "Good God, man!"
Phil: "Yeah, pretty serious stuff. And they also diagnosed me with a Grade II concussion, whatever that means exactly."
Hank: "You are... a tough man, Phil Baines."
Phil: "I'm a fighter and an entertainer, Scoops. I can't let these people down."
Hank: "I'm Hank."
Phil: "Right, right... yeah, right. That's what I called you before, Hank."
Hank: "What are your thoughts on the Hardcore Championship match itself?"
Phil: "As much trash as I talk before a match, I will always give my opponents the proper respect once it's all said and done. I take my hat off to Mr. FPV. He was more than my equal tonight. He was the better man and he's a worthy Hardcore Champion. Hopefully I can get a rematch one of these days and get the belt back."
Hank: "Phil, you wrestled Ryan Blake tonight, not FPV... and you won!"
{{Phil appears to be extremely confused by this revelation.}}
Phil: "Ryan Blake? Oh you mean Baretta? The guy who killed his wife?"
Hank: "No, that's Robert Blake. Ryan is the funny kid who looks kind of like James Franco. He almost killed you tonight."
Phil: "I'm sorry, I don't remember. I lost like fifteen gallons of blood tonight."
Hank: "Well did you manage to catch the main event while the medical staff was stitching you back together?"
Phil: "Oh yeah, of course. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. It was awesome!"
Hank: "Your thoughts on the outcome?"
Phil: "I think it's pretty obvious, Hank. Odin Balfore cannot be stopped. Plain and simple. The man is a Nordic Tank and he's also... the Fire God or something. I don't know a lot about Norse mythology, but the bottom line is that Ragnarök has arrived in WCF and I for one welcome it! It's time to separate the men from the boys, and the really hot chicks from the only moderately hot chicks."
Hank: "Speaking of which, did you happen to see Kaylyn's Playboy cover?"
Phil: "Yes I did, Hank, and I can assure you that my girlfriend Gina and I will be using that as our bedtime reading material for some time to come once I can... remember what sex is."
{{Baines suddenly collapses to the ground, his arms and legs spread akimbo on the concrete.}}
Hank: "Hey we need medics here! Somebody get the medics! Baines just collapsed!"
Hank Brown is standing backstage at the Giant Center in Hershey with Phillip Baines, whose face has been so badly disfigured that it's barely recognizable. Hank callously crams a microphone in Phil's face anyway.}}
Hank Brown: "Phil, I want to thank you for stopping by with me. I know that you must be in a lot of pain right now."
{{Phil's head drifts to the side, looking like a man who's barely conscious.}}
Phillip Baines: "Not really, Hank. They've got me hopped up on so many meds right now that I can barely feel a thing."
Hank: "Can you give us an update on your medical condition after that hellacious Hardcore Championship match that you wrestled tonight?"
Phil: "Well the medical staff did a bang up job. They stitched up my face to close up all of those nasty cuts from the barbed wire and staples and shit like that. I think they said... it took one-hundred and seventy-four stitches?"
Hank: "Good God, man!"
Phil: "Yeah, pretty serious stuff. And they also diagnosed me with a Grade II concussion, whatever that means exactly."
Hank: "You are... a tough man, Phil Baines."
Phil: "I'm a fighter and an entertainer, Scoops. I can't let these people down."
Hank: "I'm Hank."
Phil: "Right, right... yeah, right. That's what I called you before, Hank."
Hank: "What are your thoughts on the Hardcore Championship match itself?"
Phil: "As much trash as I talk before a match, I will always give my opponents the proper respect once it's all said and done. I take my hat off to Mr. FPV. He was more than my equal tonight. He was the better man and he's a worthy Hardcore Champion. Hopefully I can get a rematch one of these days and get the belt back."
Hank: "Phil, you wrestled Ryan Blake tonight, not FPV... and you won!"
{{Phil appears to be extremely confused by this revelation.}}
Phil: "Ryan Blake? Oh you mean Baretta? The guy who killed his wife?"
Hank: "No, that's Robert Blake. Ryan is the funny kid who looks kind of like James Franco. He almost killed you tonight."
Phil: "I'm sorry, I don't remember. I lost like fifteen gallons of blood tonight."
Hank: "Well did you manage to catch the main event while the medical staff was stitching you back together?"
Phil: "Oh yeah, of course. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. It was awesome!"
Hank: "Your thoughts on the outcome?"
Phil: "I think it's pretty obvious, Hank. Odin Balfore cannot be stopped. Plain and simple. The man is a Nordic Tank and he's also... the Fire God or something. I don't know a lot about Norse mythology, but the bottom line is that Ragnarök has arrived in WCF and I for one welcome it! It's time to separate the men from the boys, and the really hot chicks from the only moderately hot chicks."
Hank: "Speaking of which, did you happen to see Kaylyn's Playboy cover?"
Phil: "Yes I did, Hank, and I can assure you that my girlfriend Gina and I will be using that as our bedtime reading material for some time to come once I can... remember what sex is."
{{Baines suddenly collapses to the ground, his arms and legs spread akimbo on the concrete.}}
Hank: "Hey we need medics here! Somebody get the medics! Baines just collapsed!"