Post by FPV on Jul 2, 2011 20:41:28 GMT -5
FPV: Check. Mate. SUCKA'!
Da Funk's hands swept the pieces off the chess board in anger. This had been the seventh time that he was beaten at chess, and although he never was any good at chess, he wanted to show that he could beat his mentor at something. But Da Funk lost that notion, now he just wanted to leave the hotel room.
Da Funk: Fuck this bro', I'm outta' here!
FPV: Aight loser, whatever floats your boat.
Da Funk stood up and walked right out the door, leaving FPV alone in his 4-star hotel room. He was sitting on a humoungous pillow, the Tag Team belt by his side. He picked it up for a minute to rake the feeling in a little more.
FPV: I've waited a long, long time for this. To have gold over my shoulder. To have bragging rights. And man, it sure was worth the goddamn wait, haha!
A fan came up to me, a little older then ten years old perhaps, after Slam. He asked me "Does it feel to good to be champion?" Of course, I didn't want to dissapoint the kid, so I was straight with him and I gave him my honest answer. I said "Son, being champion for the first time is like losing your virginity. Wait a few years and you'll know what I mean." Course, the kid had only the vaugest thought of what I meant, but the point still comes across loud and clear. This. Belt. Rocks!
FPV lets out a laugh of happiness before continuing to talk.
FPV: Of course, this belt doesn't mean squat this week...
With that, he chucks the belt over to the side, where it lands flat on the floor, out of FPVs sight.
FPV: ...oh no, this week is another ordeal entirely. A classic WCF fuckwad of a match, as a preview to this month's main clusterfuck of a match, I fight two skeezes, two new bloods, and an old coot. (laughs). Oh what fun we shall have this week my friends, what fun indeed!
FPV looked on the floor at all the chess pieces that Da Funk had scattered all over the floor, and picked up a white pawn, studying it carefully at all angles.
FPV: Oh Ana. Oh dear old Ana Valentine, how hast the mighty fallen? You used to be a contender, you used to mean something. Now look at you, acting like the wide-eyed rookie who entered this business. You're worthless now, all you useful for is to further other plans. A pawn in my game. (sigh) But I must stay alert, out of nowhere even the most worthless of pieces can bring a king to checkmate. But I doubt it.
After one last look, Franky chucks the pawn away, picking up a white bishop in it's place.
FPV: Ms. Summers, don't think I wasn't watching your little battle of the music with Da Funk last week. No, I was watching all right, scouting you out to see if you were any good. and the answer is yes, you do have talent, but the limited talent can only get you so far, like a bishop can only move so far. In the end you're just waiting to fall into some trap. And baby, I don't care if your Roy's girl, or Corey Black's girl, or WHOEVER's chick, bottom line is, you WILL lose this week. I will make sure you do.
Again, he tosses the piece aside, picking up a black rook, laughing to himself.
FPV: The rook has always been a bit of a favorite of mine. I have no idea why, but I consider it vital to the game. Blake, you've done fairly well for yourself since you got here, but you've only just chalked up one win and one loss. You lost again Kaylyn, WCF's other resident skeeze, and you beat some Asian jobber and his British leash-holder. What does that say to me? It says "Improvement can be done, it just isn't GETTING done." You may not realize that now, Ryan, seeing as though you're obsessed with making yourself look like a boy-band reject from 2002, but after this week, you will realize it, one way or the other!
Tossing the rook aside, FPV trades it out with a white knight.
FPV: Why, Santiago? Why are you here? You here to win championships and make yourself respectful? No, I think you're here just to inflate your own ego. Well bro, I will not let you have that pleasure. You're an old joke Mikey, a really old joke. if I wanted to see a ladies man who likes to fight his boss all the time, I'd get me a job at some office in Atlanta, woo every Jane, Sarah, and Susan that walk by me, and tell my boss he's a fat son of a bitch that probably hasn't been to a gym in over 15 years.
(sigh) You see where I'm getting at Mikey? You're like this knight right here. Everyone knows what it is, but they don't know how to play it. You're a confused, washed-up has-been who doesn't know what do with himself. Hit the road old man, and tell Duke Nukem I said what's up.
And now, the elephant in the room...
Like before, FPV got rid of the knight, searching the floor for one of the two queens, finding it under his leg.
FPV: Steve Motherlovin' Thunder. This is a man on a goddamn mission. That mission is simple, all he wants in this world is his US Title. He could give a shit less about the world title, he has his sights set.
Problem is, he already had his chance, and he lost. Fair and square, Odin showed him just how much the new era has surged throught the body of the WCF. And Thunder? He is not a part of that entire equation, he's just a selfish vet who wants to relive the glory days before he ends up retired a grumpy.
You ask me, Steve's the biggest threat to me in this match, he knows how to beat people, he just needs to show that he's willing to do it. But Steve, I must say to you...
Will the force of an olympian, FPV tosses the queen across the hall, far away from all the other pieces.
FPV: Steve, I am the Chessmaster of this game we play Monday. I am the only one in this match with gold, but Monday won't be about the gold, it'll be about showing you little pricks that you've gone past your expiration date. Aftet Monday, you will be sorry Corey even BOOKED you chumps against me. In short, I will win this clusterfuck and go on to whatever the fuck Corey has planned for me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a mess I gotta clean up.
FPV starts to gather all the scattered pieces around the floor as the scene fades to black.
Da Funk's hands swept the pieces off the chess board in anger. This had been the seventh time that he was beaten at chess, and although he never was any good at chess, he wanted to show that he could beat his mentor at something. But Da Funk lost that notion, now he just wanted to leave the hotel room.
Da Funk: Fuck this bro', I'm outta' here!
FPV: Aight loser, whatever floats your boat.
Da Funk stood up and walked right out the door, leaving FPV alone in his 4-star hotel room. He was sitting on a humoungous pillow, the Tag Team belt by his side. He picked it up for a minute to rake the feeling in a little more.
FPV: I've waited a long, long time for this. To have gold over my shoulder. To have bragging rights. And man, it sure was worth the goddamn wait, haha!
A fan came up to me, a little older then ten years old perhaps, after Slam. He asked me "Does it feel to good to be champion?" Of course, I didn't want to dissapoint the kid, so I was straight with him and I gave him my honest answer. I said "Son, being champion for the first time is like losing your virginity. Wait a few years and you'll know what I mean." Course, the kid had only the vaugest thought of what I meant, but the point still comes across loud and clear. This. Belt. Rocks!
FPV lets out a laugh of happiness before continuing to talk.
FPV: Of course, this belt doesn't mean squat this week...
With that, he chucks the belt over to the side, where it lands flat on the floor, out of FPVs sight.
FPV: ...oh no, this week is another ordeal entirely. A classic WCF fuckwad of a match, as a preview to this month's main clusterfuck of a match, I fight two skeezes, two new bloods, and an old coot. (laughs). Oh what fun we shall have this week my friends, what fun indeed!
FPV looked on the floor at all the chess pieces that Da Funk had scattered all over the floor, and picked up a white pawn, studying it carefully at all angles.
FPV: Oh Ana. Oh dear old Ana Valentine, how hast the mighty fallen? You used to be a contender, you used to mean something. Now look at you, acting like the wide-eyed rookie who entered this business. You're worthless now, all you useful for is to further other plans. A pawn in my game. (sigh) But I must stay alert, out of nowhere even the most worthless of pieces can bring a king to checkmate. But I doubt it.
After one last look, Franky chucks the pawn away, picking up a white bishop in it's place.
FPV: Ms. Summers, don't think I wasn't watching your little battle of the music with Da Funk last week. No, I was watching all right, scouting you out to see if you were any good. and the answer is yes, you do have talent, but the limited talent can only get you so far, like a bishop can only move so far. In the end you're just waiting to fall into some trap. And baby, I don't care if your Roy's girl, or Corey Black's girl, or WHOEVER's chick, bottom line is, you WILL lose this week. I will make sure you do.
Again, he tosses the piece aside, picking up a black rook, laughing to himself.
FPV: The rook has always been a bit of a favorite of mine. I have no idea why, but I consider it vital to the game. Blake, you've done fairly well for yourself since you got here, but you've only just chalked up one win and one loss. You lost again Kaylyn, WCF's other resident skeeze, and you beat some Asian jobber and his British leash-holder. What does that say to me? It says "Improvement can be done, it just isn't GETTING done." You may not realize that now, Ryan, seeing as though you're obsessed with making yourself look like a boy-band reject from 2002, but after this week, you will realize it, one way or the other!
Tossing the rook aside, FPV trades it out with a white knight.
FPV: Why, Santiago? Why are you here? You here to win championships and make yourself respectful? No, I think you're here just to inflate your own ego. Well bro, I will not let you have that pleasure. You're an old joke Mikey, a really old joke. if I wanted to see a ladies man who likes to fight his boss all the time, I'd get me a job at some office in Atlanta, woo every Jane, Sarah, and Susan that walk by me, and tell my boss he's a fat son of a bitch that probably hasn't been to a gym in over 15 years.
(sigh) You see where I'm getting at Mikey? You're like this knight right here. Everyone knows what it is, but they don't know how to play it. You're a confused, washed-up has-been who doesn't know what do with himself. Hit the road old man, and tell Duke Nukem I said what's up.
And now, the elephant in the room...
Like before, FPV got rid of the knight, searching the floor for one of the two queens, finding it under his leg.
FPV: Steve Motherlovin' Thunder. This is a man on a goddamn mission. That mission is simple, all he wants in this world is his US Title. He could give a shit less about the world title, he has his sights set.
Problem is, he already had his chance, and he lost. Fair and square, Odin showed him just how much the new era has surged throught the body of the WCF. And Thunder? He is not a part of that entire equation, he's just a selfish vet who wants to relive the glory days before he ends up retired a grumpy.
You ask me, Steve's the biggest threat to me in this match, he knows how to beat people, he just needs to show that he's willing to do it. But Steve, I must say to you...
Will the force of an olympian, FPV tosses the queen across the hall, far away from all the other pieces.
FPV: Steve, I am the Chessmaster of this game we play Monday. I am the only one in this match with gold, but Monday won't be about the gold, it'll be about showing you little pricks that you've gone past your expiration date. Aftet Monday, you will be sorry Corey even BOOKED you chumps against me. In short, I will win this clusterfuck and go on to whatever the fuck Corey has planned for me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a mess I gotta clean up.
FPV starts to gather all the scattered pieces around the floor as the scene fades to black.