Post by Jack of Blades on Jul 14, 2006 14:35:17 GMT -5
There I lie. Wearing swimming trunks and futuristic goggles and Jake leers over me. He tells me that this is the best way to get a tan like his. I don't want a tan like his. He comments that I'm too pale for it to be called a normal colour. Although, he compliments me on my muscle, he says that I need to brighten it all up. He says this waiting to close the lid on this UV tub. His medallion dangles on my chest making me flinch at the cold, unattractive metal. He closes the sunbed on me and all the light in the world, to me now is bright pink bars designed to burn the flesh.
I try to get comfortable moving across the perspex matress that I lay across swinging my shoulders in small sweeps. It's impossible to get comfortable now. Encased in a tomb waiting for my skin to change hue.
Pale flesh was all I knew. She was pale. That's what I enjoyed about it, the most. Or at the least, the thing that the visual-spatial element of my mind enjoyed the most. The contrast of crimson on her scarred bleach body. How 'Snow White's' flesh would become overrun with red rain after slamming her skull into the nearest blunt object. It was ironic that I had burnt her cohort's flesh forcefully and here I was waiting for mine to turn into a golden crisp.
And yet, it wasn't her that took up my thoughts. Here I was in a state that would be considered naked fifty years ago, cupping my testicles so that leering roommate of mine doesn't decide to make a comparison. It was the other one. The actual girl from next door. The contours of her torso and the breasts that showed no signs of dropping. The concern that she took in applying make-up only to make herself look professional and not attractive. The firework smile. And how she didn't know of the innate beauty in such things.
And how I wanted to ruin them all. How I wanted to slice into her miraculous smile. How I wanted to smash those glasses of her for giving me a moment of introspection. How I wanted to break her under the weight of world that made her so insecure and show her that Jack's way, my way was right. How I wanted to make her suffer for making me doubt my views on humans. For showing me a degree of compassion whether it be drinking coffee and sharing the nuances of her life with me or something smaller.
The tomb opened. Jake waving a piece of card at my goggles. I knew the pervert would try and get a look. He says that some guy was at reception asking for me. Called Jasper. I think he meant Jesper. He told him to tell me that this was his number for where he was now calling his home. I thanked him and took the opportunity to leave the tanning sarcophagus. But he closes it before I can the ground. I force my spare leg back inside the barbecue.
I think about her smile.
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