Post by Da Funk on Jun 2, 2011 12:54:48 GMT -5
Feel crazy in here, don't it?
Don't be worrying yo' little heads, I assure all y'all that the feeling you be experiancing is 100% natural. It is the natural state of nirvana I like to call...wait fo' it....FUNK. I have become an adament preacher to this, so much to the point where I have become what embodies it the most. In short, I am THE Funk. Or Da Funk if you like.
Yes siree, I'm here, in the flesh. Live and in person! And wherever I go, I aim to please. Every bar I'm in, is party central till the funk has engulfed everyone! Then I continue my quest, until my destiny is complete. What that destiny is, only the funk knows, and I plan on finding out. And if I have to go through all you nooglets to do it, then god help me I WILL DO IT!
Old Man Franky? He has taught the ways of the force well, and in return I have become a hell of a jedi, if ya catch ma drift. What he knows, I know. Under his tutalage, I come to yo' little island in the sea of dull and boring called WCF. I am a man on a mission, to make the WCF one big party! And if you don't like it, if your one o' dem uptight business-types, I don't want anything to do with ya.
Alternatively, you might be asking me in yo' everyman whine "But Funkster, can you actually wrestle?" To that I say, FUCK ARE YOU MENTAL? Did you nooglets not see me demolish the skeeze with that rockette sensibility Audrey Horn? If not, let me clue you in, that skeeze was hit the meanest in mean since "mean" came to mean something. In short, she got infected, infected with a little thingy called Da STROBE. When you are under the strobe, anything is possible, and anything is false. Your mind leaves you, and your old self leaves your body, leaving only the you that accepts the funk. Audrey Horn has felt that sensation, and I'm not satisfied with just one nooglet under my belt.
Ana Valentine, you seem to have the rythm needed for the funk to enter your body. A person like you needs that rythm to keep pace wit' all the jiggaloes you be keepin' with. But that my dear, I'm afraid, is irrelevent. What is relevent, is that you have become run down, in every sense of the word.
Ya lost ya title.
Ya lost to Doc "Brokeback Mountain" Henry
Ya lost that battle royal wit' the one and only FPV.
Ya lost again to Doc "Darth Brokeback Mountain" Henry.
Ya been losing your matches for a while as of late.
Has your morale been lowered to the brink of madness? What's that you say? "Yes Funkster, save me!" Hmmm, I never considered myself a miracle worker, but for a skeeze like you, it'll be easy. First, The Strobe will work its magic into your body. If that's not enough, then a Shining Wizard to up the funk. And you better be praying to god you can't no more at that point, because if you are still on your feet, I'll have no choice. I must take you...
BEYOND THE IMPOSSIBLE
For someone like me, "Impossible" means nothing. If you go beyond the impossible Ana, then it won't mean anything to you neither. I pray to god that by the time I'm done with ya', your gonna' PARTYING YOUR ASS OFF. Because Ana, life without the funk...
...is a life for LOSERS!
Fuck da non-believers™
