Post by Lawnmower Jones on Aug 25, 2006 8:33:43 GMT -5
(The scene opens with a picture of the Scottish flag. The flag stays on for no more than 10 seconds.)
VO: And now, a public service announcement brought to you by ESPN.
(The scene cuts to a press conference. A brown podium is centered in the middle of the stage, although it is very tiny. A rampant crowd of over 50,000 are waiting for the press conference to begin. We see Eight, dressed in a suit, a few board of directors, and Lawnmower Jones, wearing his usual wrestling attire. Each are sitting in black, steel folding chairs. The crowd starts up a chant, tired of waiting for the announcement to begin.)
Crowd: Jones! Jones! Jones!
(Finally, Eight gets up and walks to the podium. The crowd boos, thinking Jones was going to stand up. Eight gets to the podium, speaks into it, with the result being that sounds a microphone makes when you talk wrong into it. The screech sound.)
Crowd: Ah!
(Eight readjusts himself, and begins speaking, with no screech.)
Eight: Ladies and gentlemen, today is a beautiful day for ESPN, Lawnmower Jones, and the great nation of Scotland!
(The crowd gives a cheap pop.)
Eight: My time is short, because I hear Lawnmower Jones has a prepared statement.
(No cheap pop this time. The crowd roars with cheers.)
Eight: I'm happy to announce, starting in two weeks, the tapings of "Who Wants to Be a Lawnmower Man?" will be shown on ESPN. And furthermore, our very own Lawnmower Jones will be hosting. Jones, get up here.
(The crowd roars with cheers. Jones gets up, walks to the podium, shakes hands with Eight while a few pictures are being taken, and flashes a cheesy grin. The crowd gets on their feet for a standing ovation, making Jones wait longer for the delivery. After a few minutes, the crowd settles down for the Jones speech.)
LJ: I have a dream, that one day, I will become a champion. A champion, ladies and gentlemen, not just in the ring, but in life. I want to be able to bring great things to my native land of Scotland. I want people to know that the Scots are the baddest people in the world, and we are not to be messed with! (Pop) I want them to know, that the Scots have the greatest WCF TV champion of all time, Lawnmower Jones!
(The crowd erupts in roars.)
LJ: But you see, I have yet to bring home the TV title to my fellow Scots. This Sunday, that will change. This Sunday, at Ultimate Showdown, your truly steps into the ring for a six man tag. Jones. Ace. Beyond. The good guys, the Team of Treachery, versus Nytro. Versus Ken. Versus J-X. The bad guys, the New Dynasty.
(The crowd boos.)
LJ: The only way the title switches hands is by pinning the "champ" Nate Nytro. Pin Nate Nytro? Easy as cake!
(The crowd cheers at the somewhat newfound confidence of Jones.)
LJ: Nytro, you may have your buddies, Dake Ken and J-X to help you momentarily, but it won't be long before you feel the pain of the Team of Treachery! We are a unit of soldiers, prepared to go to war for the very cause of taking what is ours. The TV title is ours. The Hardcore title is ours. The World title is ours.
(A mini Jones chant breaks out in the front row. Security quickly breaks it up with the threat of using pepper spray.)
LJ: So come Sunday at Ultimate Showdown, plain and simple, the New Dynasty will be of old, and the Team of Treachery, powerful. This Sunday, at the Ultimate Showdown, it doesn't matter who I go through: the failure baseball player, the unknown chaintugger, or the unworthy champion. The ending result will be the same: Lawnmower Jones with the TV title. Dake Ken, J-X, Nate Nytro. Your asses are grass, and I'm the Lawnmower!
(The crowd erupts into cheers as Jone raises his arms up. The scene slowly fades to back as a Jones chants breaks out.)
VO: And now, a public service announcement brought to you by ESPN.
(The scene cuts to a press conference. A brown podium is centered in the middle of the stage, although it is very tiny. A rampant crowd of over 50,000 are waiting for the press conference to begin. We see Eight, dressed in a suit, a few board of directors, and Lawnmower Jones, wearing his usual wrestling attire. Each are sitting in black, steel folding chairs. The crowd starts up a chant, tired of waiting for the announcement to begin.)
Crowd: Jones! Jones! Jones!
(Finally, Eight gets up and walks to the podium. The crowd boos, thinking Jones was going to stand up. Eight gets to the podium, speaks into it, with the result being that sounds a microphone makes when you talk wrong into it. The screech sound.)
Crowd: Ah!
(Eight readjusts himself, and begins speaking, with no screech.)
Eight: Ladies and gentlemen, today is a beautiful day for ESPN, Lawnmower Jones, and the great nation of Scotland!
(The crowd gives a cheap pop.)
Eight: My time is short, because I hear Lawnmower Jones has a prepared statement.
(No cheap pop this time. The crowd roars with cheers.)
Eight: I'm happy to announce, starting in two weeks, the tapings of "Who Wants to Be a Lawnmower Man?" will be shown on ESPN. And furthermore, our very own Lawnmower Jones will be hosting. Jones, get up here.
(The crowd roars with cheers. Jones gets up, walks to the podium, shakes hands with Eight while a few pictures are being taken, and flashes a cheesy grin. The crowd gets on their feet for a standing ovation, making Jones wait longer for the delivery. After a few minutes, the crowd settles down for the Jones speech.)
LJ: I have a dream, that one day, I will become a champion. A champion, ladies and gentlemen, not just in the ring, but in life. I want to be able to bring great things to my native land of Scotland. I want people to know that the Scots are the baddest people in the world, and we are not to be messed with! (Pop) I want them to know, that the Scots have the greatest WCF TV champion of all time, Lawnmower Jones!
(The crowd erupts in roars.)
LJ: But you see, I have yet to bring home the TV title to my fellow Scots. This Sunday, that will change. This Sunday, at Ultimate Showdown, your truly steps into the ring for a six man tag. Jones. Ace. Beyond. The good guys, the Team of Treachery, versus Nytro. Versus Ken. Versus J-X. The bad guys, the New Dynasty.
(The crowd boos.)
LJ: The only way the title switches hands is by pinning the "champ" Nate Nytro. Pin Nate Nytro? Easy as cake!
(The crowd cheers at the somewhat newfound confidence of Jones.)
LJ: Nytro, you may have your buddies, Dake Ken and J-X to help you momentarily, but it won't be long before you feel the pain of the Team of Treachery! We are a unit of soldiers, prepared to go to war for the very cause of taking what is ours. The TV title is ours. The Hardcore title is ours. The World title is ours.
(A mini Jones chant breaks out in the front row. Security quickly breaks it up with the threat of using pepper spray.)
LJ: So come Sunday at Ultimate Showdown, plain and simple, the New Dynasty will be of old, and the Team of Treachery, powerful. This Sunday, at the Ultimate Showdown, it doesn't matter who I go through: the failure baseball player, the unknown chaintugger, or the unworthy champion. The ending result will be the same: Lawnmower Jones with the TV title. Dake Ken, J-X, Nate Nytro. Your asses are grass, and I'm the Lawnmower!
(The crowd erupts into cheers as Jone raises his arms up. The scene slowly fades to back as a Jones chants breaks out.)
