Post by Odin Balfore on May 11, 2011 20:16:10 GMT -5
RP1
WCF- Slam!
Odin Balfore
vs
Buzzsaw Bundy
* It’s a glorious spring day here at the B.F Conrad compound in Houston, Texas. The sky goes on forever, the birds are chirping an the best thing of all, today is Odin Balfore surprise birthday party. Conrad large and sprawling compound seems to go on for miles, if only a few feet more. The immediate yard in the back of the mansion is all decked out in for a huge bash. Petting zoo, bounce house, water slide and dunk tank are all set up and scattered through out the yard as various guests mingle amongst themselves; that’s where I come in.
My name is Tony Danza, yes THAT Tony Danza. I am Conrad’s personal assistant and have been charged with chronicling his travels and ventures, especially those with Odin Balfore and Gilligan; Conrad says its so that theres witnesses for his eventually murder / suicide. Today I’m tasked with taking Odin up to the compound for his party. We arrive at the compound, getting out of the car and make our way over to the back yard because Odin is determined to cause Conrad that fabled fifth heart attack. As we round the corner, Odin sees what’s been set up for him and laughs as he pats me on the shoulder. *
Odin: You’re such an ass, Tony.
Tony: Yeah, I know.
* Odin shakes his head as he takes big strides in the yard, walking over an admiring the whole set up. *
Odin: Wow, I didn’t think he had it in him.
* Odin smiles to himself as he takes out a cell phone from his pocket and dials Conrad. “ Hotel California” can be heard, it was fait yet still close by. The ring stopped abruptly as if the call was rejected, so Odin tries again an yet the same thing happens. *
Odin: Damn Steve Jobbs an his apple apps, makin’ sure I don’t have too much fun with his eyes in the sky.
* moments later you can hear Conrad call out from up on the roof, half naked and looked very tan.*
Conrad: What the hell; must you ruin my time alone Odin.
Odin: How’d you know it was me?
Conrad: Because I hate the eagles.
Odin: But..
Conrad: And because I hate you!
* Odin laughs to himself again; tsk tsk. Conrad an his jokes.. If only he was joking. That doesn’t stop Odin however from walking around and seeing old friends that he hadn’t in forever when a man that You might all know approaches him. Hank Brown walks right up to Odin and shakes his hand. *
Hank: Happy birthday, big guy!
Odin: Thanks Hank.
* Being a man of both business and pleasure, Hank takes out a tape recorder to try and get some more insight from Odin.*
Hank: I gotta say, this is a big party. Tell me, for ya.. The folks at um.. Ya know, home. Where did you get all these strippers to help cater the party?
* Folks at home.. Hank, you rascal. *
Odin: Well Hank, I’d imagine these are all Gilligan’s women from Fort Suma.
Hank: Gilligan? You mean the raccoon? He has a business?
Odin: Sure does. A good ol fashion whore house.
Hank: What?! How does a raccoon run a um.. Erhm.. Brothel?
Odin: The same way, any red blooded American would, with AN IRON FIST!
* You can see Gilligan come appear in the background being carried around on a bed like an old Egyptian pharaoh, with a whip in his mouth. Odin directs Hanks attention towards him. *
Odin: you see, Gills learn a lot from me. See I command respect, a whole lot of respect. As does he. I run the wrestling ring with an iron fist, so does he. I know, I know what your thinking hank; there’s a lot of guys that aren’t going to respect me. I know. I know that respect is earned and not given.. Well.. Let me tell you right now, that every guy in that locker room WILL respect me in some shape or forum. There’s no way around it or through it. When Odin Balfore talk, you stop and you listen.
Hank: Odin, I’m not sure what you’ve heard but I know you’ve been out for some time and haven’t really competed but times have changed, this business has changed.
Odin: Times haven’t changed, people haven’t changed. This industry is still about guys who refuse to give up their spots, refuse to but the other guy over. Gone are the days of real hard work and sacrifice. Jumping off a twenty foot later into a shark tank while the Fonze jumps over is does not make you a wrestler. Blowing yourself up cuz you don’t know a hammer lock from a Boston crème donut, does NOT make you a wrestler.
This business is filled with guys like that. Guys that haven’t earned, guys that haven’t put their time in. I may have been out for a while but I got done what needed to be done and here I am. I’ve put my time into this industry and now its about damn time I get what I’m due. Its guys like Dangertainment that haven’t gotten anywhere or done anything. You saw what I did to a family friend in Nate Bishop- I can do a whole lot worse but you can go ask Kash that for yourself.
* No sooner does Odin finish when trumpets sound and the strippers carrying Gilligan approach. One of the strippers hands Odin a birthday card an manila envelope. Odin opens it to see a hand drawn birthday card from Gilligan.*
Odin: AWW, its me and you enjoying my birthday. The suns shining, there’s birds, even your balloon is smiling. But where’s your balloon?
Gill: .. … …
* Gill Shoots the stripper a look as she rushes off to get in a balloon as Odin looks up towards the roof of the mansion and raises his voice to spite Conrad as he reads the rest of the card. *
Odin: Oh look, its CONRAD, noosed up on a tree branch in the background. That’s so cute, you even signed it.
* noosed up? Noosed up? Those words infuriated Conrad as he leans over the edge of the roof and shouts.*
Conrad: I’ll kill em’, I swear to god I’ll actually kill em’ this time! Is that how you plan to due me in!
Odin: What’s the matter? He didn’t sign your name- are you mad because you forgot my birthday?
Conrad: Its not that I forgot, its that I just don’t care!
Hank: Odin.. Odin..
* Hank tries to interrupt. *
Hank: I know its your birthday an all but I have to be going soon, so do you think I can get a few words about your opponent Buzzsaw Bundy?
Odin: Sure, follow me into my office.
* Odin leads Hank over to the bounce castle , he takes off his shoes and hands Hank the envelop as he gets inside and starts jumping around. *
Hank: I don’t know what’s stranger the fact that you gotta be like forty something and there’s a bounce castle at your party or the fact that you’re IN the bounce castle- WHY are you in the bounce castle? You’re too big.
* I think we’d all like to know that. *
Odin: All the great minds of the world have done there best thinking in bounce castles. Einstein, Socrates‘.. Steven Hawking. They all did they’re best thinking right here.
* Personally, I’d like to see Steven Hawking in a bounce house. *
Hank: Bounce castles weren’t around in Einstein’s or Socrates time.
Odin: Just think where’d we be at if they did.
* Odin keeps bouncing but his cowboy boots lands wrong and the whole thing start to deflate around them. It shrouds Odin in a cloak of rainbow colors, Odin shrugs the material off as Hank tries not to laugh.*
Odin: See, let this be a lesson. Monday night, the party is over for WCF. The party is over for Buzzsaw. I know, let him make all the jokes in the world. God of thunder, make the raccoon jokes, toss in a red wood joke or even a gay joke. All that proves to me is that you deserve your name because you are with out a doubt a complete and total tool. I’m not walking into WCF as some guy with no history or credit. I am the best big man ever in this business.. I have all the accolades that it takes to be the guy that pulls the cart. What do you have Bundy? I hot bitch that everybody’s had a chance to bang on? I’m not about the low shots right now though; I’m here to get my career back to where it should be. So my question to Bundy an to all of WCF is are they ready to have a man of my stature amongst their ranks? Where the world knowing I’m apart of this organization will rise it up that much more. I’m a no name, nobody like the majority of WCF. Hell, the best thing going is the thing that they hate most. Well I’m here to change all that. I’ll rid them of that evil and make WCF the place to be.
Hank: Well do you think Bundy will stand up to the challenge?
Odin: I’m not sure, I don’t know the guy but I think he will just as anybody else would. His only issue is that I’m not everybody else. I’m a guy who knows the big stage better then anybody, I’m a guy that knows the business better then the back of my hand. I’m not walking into unknown territory. Unfortunately for Bundy an I’d hate to take it way from the guy but he’s the same old dog an pony show that everyone has to go through in their first match. Like that though, I’ll make this like his first match right out of wrestling school and teach him things that he never even knew about this business. I’ve been the guy on top but I’m not right now. Like everyone else, that’s where I plan on being an Bundy is that first step.
Hank: So Bundy’s that stepping stone then?
Odin: He’s more of the warm up. My knowledge of the ring and the business would by far supersede anything that he can imagine. I’m sorry Bundy, but the party’s been crashed. I’m here to lead you an the entire company. You can either get on board with that or you can join Dangertainment but that’ll get you well..
* Odin takes the envelop from hank and takes out its contents. Its Bishops X-rays, a crushed hand and fractured skull. *
Odin: This wasn’t an act. I really did this, if Bundy wants to be respectful and do this like men- we can. If he wants to think he can two step me and out play me, well.. I’ll make bundies right hand to Nate’s left hand.. And do what I did to Nate skull but I’ll do it to Ana Valentines pelvis. On Monday, I’m throwing WCF a party for the man that’s going to lead them, myself. Its my party an if you don’t play nice Bundy.. Well you can cry if you want to but just remember I’ll give you a reason to cry about something when I hit you with the mar, My mark- The Mark of Odin. So when Bundy’s laying out in the middle of the ring an I’m there standing over him he’ll know that there’s not a better guy on the roster to take this company where its never been before.. So I have spoken, so it shall come to pass.
* Just then one of Odins Favorite phrases can be heard echoing around the yard. *
“ Cake Time!”
Odin: Cake Time!
* Odin dashes off for a piece of birthday cake as the scene starts to fade *
~FINN
WCF- Slam!
Odin Balfore
vs
Buzzsaw Bundy
* It’s a glorious spring day here at the B.F Conrad compound in Houston, Texas. The sky goes on forever, the birds are chirping an the best thing of all, today is Odin Balfore surprise birthday party. Conrad large and sprawling compound seems to go on for miles, if only a few feet more. The immediate yard in the back of the mansion is all decked out in for a huge bash. Petting zoo, bounce house, water slide and dunk tank are all set up and scattered through out the yard as various guests mingle amongst themselves; that’s where I come in.
My name is Tony Danza, yes THAT Tony Danza. I am Conrad’s personal assistant and have been charged with chronicling his travels and ventures, especially those with Odin Balfore and Gilligan; Conrad says its so that theres witnesses for his eventually murder / suicide. Today I’m tasked with taking Odin up to the compound for his party. We arrive at the compound, getting out of the car and make our way over to the back yard because Odin is determined to cause Conrad that fabled fifth heart attack. As we round the corner, Odin sees what’s been set up for him and laughs as he pats me on the shoulder. *
Odin: You’re such an ass, Tony.
Tony: Yeah, I know.
* Odin shakes his head as he takes big strides in the yard, walking over an admiring the whole set up. *
Odin: Wow, I didn’t think he had it in him.
* Odin smiles to himself as he takes out a cell phone from his pocket and dials Conrad. “ Hotel California” can be heard, it was fait yet still close by. The ring stopped abruptly as if the call was rejected, so Odin tries again an yet the same thing happens. *
Odin: Damn Steve Jobbs an his apple apps, makin’ sure I don’t have too much fun with his eyes in the sky.
* moments later you can hear Conrad call out from up on the roof, half naked and looked very tan.*
Conrad: What the hell; must you ruin my time alone Odin.
Odin: How’d you know it was me?
Conrad: Because I hate the eagles.
Odin: But..
Conrad: And because I hate you!
* Odin laughs to himself again; tsk tsk. Conrad an his jokes.. If only he was joking. That doesn’t stop Odin however from walking around and seeing old friends that he hadn’t in forever when a man that You might all know approaches him. Hank Brown walks right up to Odin and shakes his hand. *
Hank: Happy birthday, big guy!
Odin: Thanks Hank.
* Being a man of both business and pleasure, Hank takes out a tape recorder to try and get some more insight from Odin.*
Hank: I gotta say, this is a big party. Tell me, for ya.. The folks at um.. Ya know, home. Where did you get all these strippers to help cater the party?
* Folks at home.. Hank, you rascal. *
Odin: Well Hank, I’d imagine these are all Gilligan’s women from Fort Suma.
Hank: Gilligan? You mean the raccoon? He has a business?
Odin: Sure does. A good ol fashion whore house.
Hank: What?! How does a raccoon run a um.. Erhm.. Brothel?
Odin: The same way, any red blooded American would, with AN IRON FIST!
* You can see Gilligan come appear in the background being carried around on a bed like an old Egyptian pharaoh, with a whip in his mouth. Odin directs Hanks attention towards him. *
Odin: you see, Gills learn a lot from me. See I command respect, a whole lot of respect. As does he. I run the wrestling ring with an iron fist, so does he. I know, I know what your thinking hank; there’s a lot of guys that aren’t going to respect me. I know. I know that respect is earned and not given.. Well.. Let me tell you right now, that every guy in that locker room WILL respect me in some shape or forum. There’s no way around it or through it. When Odin Balfore talk, you stop and you listen.
Hank: Odin, I’m not sure what you’ve heard but I know you’ve been out for some time and haven’t really competed but times have changed, this business has changed.
Odin: Times haven’t changed, people haven’t changed. This industry is still about guys who refuse to give up their spots, refuse to but the other guy over. Gone are the days of real hard work and sacrifice. Jumping off a twenty foot later into a shark tank while the Fonze jumps over is does not make you a wrestler. Blowing yourself up cuz you don’t know a hammer lock from a Boston crème donut, does NOT make you a wrestler.
This business is filled with guys like that. Guys that haven’t earned, guys that haven’t put their time in. I may have been out for a while but I got done what needed to be done and here I am. I’ve put my time into this industry and now its about damn time I get what I’m due. Its guys like Dangertainment that haven’t gotten anywhere or done anything. You saw what I did to a family friend in Nate Bishop- I can do a whole lot worse but you can go ask Kash that for yourself.
* No sooner does Odin finish when trumpets sound and the strippers carrying Gilligan approach. One of the strippers hands Odin a birthday card an manila envelope. Odin opens it to see a hand drawn birthday card from Gilligan.*
Odin: AWW, its me and you enjoying my birthday. The suns shining, there’s birds, even your balloon is smiling. But where’s your balloon?
Gill: .. … …
* Gill Shoots the stripper a look as she rushes off to get in a balloon as Odin looks up towards the roof of the mansion and raises his voice to spite Conrad as he reads the rest of the card. *
Odin: Oh look, its CONRAD, noosed up on a tree branch in the background. That’s so cute, you even signed it.
* noosed up? Noosed up? Those words infuriated Conrad as he leans over the edge of the roof and shouts.*
Conrad: I’ll kill em’, I swear to god I’ll actually kill em’ this time! Is that how you plan to due me in!
Odin: What’s the matter? He didn’t sign your name- are you mad because you forgot my birthday?
Conrad: Its not that I forgot, its that I just don’t care!
Hank: Odin.. Odin..
* Hank tries to interrupt. *
Hank: I know its your birthday an all but I have to be going soon, so do you think I can get a few words about your opponent Buzzsaw Bundy?
Odin: Sure, follow me into my office.
* Odin leads Hank over to the bounce castle , he takes off his shoes and hands Hank the envelop as he gets inside and starts jumping around. *
Hank: I don’t know what’s stranger the fact that you gotta be like forty something and there’s a bounce castle at your party or the fact that you’re IN the bounce castle- WHY are you in the bounce castle? You’re too big.
* I think we’d all like to know that. *
Odin: All the great minds of the world have done there best thinking in bounce castles. Einstein, Socrates‘.. Steven Hawking. They all did they’re best thinking right here.
* Personally, I’d like to see Steven Hawking in a bounce house. *
Hank: Bounce castles weren’t around in Einstein’s or Socrates time.
Odin: Just think where’d we be at if they did.
* Odin keeps bouncing but his cowboy boots lands wrong and the whole thing start to deflate around them. It shrouds Odin in a cloak of rainbow colors, Odin shrugs the material off as Hank tries not to laugh.*
Odin: See, let this be a lesson. Monday night, the party is over for WCF. The party is over for Buzzsaw. I know, let him make all the jokes in the world. God of thunder, make the raccoon jokes, toss in a red wood joke or even a gay joke. All that proves to me is that you deserve your name because you are with out a doubt a complete and total tool. I’m not walking into WCF as some guy with no history or credit. I am the best big man ever in this business.. I have all the accolades that it takes to be the guy that pulls the cart. What do you have Bundy? I hot bitch that everybody’s had a chance to bang on? I’m not about the low shots right now though; I’m here to get my career back to where it should be. So my question to Bundy an to all of WCF is are they ready to have a man of my stature amongst their ranks? Where the world knowing I’m apart of this organization will rise it up that much more. I’m a no name, nobody like the majority of WCF. Hell, the best thing going is the thing that they hate most. Well I’m here to change all that. I’ll rid them of that evil and make WCF the place to be.
Hank: Well do you think Bundy will stand up to the challenge?
Odin: I’m not sure, I don’t know the guy but I think he will just as anybody else would. His only issue is that I’m not everybody else. I’m a guy who knows the big stage better then anybody, I’m a guy that knows the business better then the back of my hand. I’m not walking into unknown territory. Unfortunately for Bundy an I’d hate to take it way from the guy but he’s the same old dog an pony show that everyone has to go through in their first match. Like that though, I’ll make this like his first match right out of wrestling school and teach him things that he never even knew about this business. I’ve been the guy on top but I’m not right now. Like everyone else, that’s where I plan on being an Bundy is that first step.
Hank: So Bundy’s that stepping stone then?
Odin: He’s more of the warm up. My knowledge of the ring and the business would by far supersede anything that he can imagine. I’m sorry Bundy, but the party’s been crashed. I’m here to lead you an the entire company. You can either get on board with that or you can join Dangertainment but that’ll get you well..
* Odin takes the envelop from hank and takes out its contents. Its Bishops X-rays, a crushed hand and fractured skull. *
Odin: This wasn’t an act. I really did this, if Bundy wants to be respectful and do this like men- we can. If he wants to think he can two step me and out play me, well.. I’ll make bundies right hand to Nate’s left hand.. And do what I did to Nate skull but I’ll do it to Ana Valentines pelvis. On Monday, I’m throwing WCF a party for the man that’s going to lead them, myself. Its my party an if you don’t play nice Bundy.. Well you can cry if you want to but just remember I’ll give you a reason to cry about something when I hit you with the mar, My mark- The Mark of Odin. So when Bundy’s laying out in the middle of the ring an I’m there standing over him he’ll know that there’s not a better guy on the roster to take this company where its never been before.. So I have spoken, so it shall come to pass.
* Just then one of Odins Favorite phrases can be heard echoing around the yard. *
“ Cake Time!”
Odin: Cake Time!
* Odin dashes off for a piece of birthday cake as the scene starts to fade *
~FINN
