Post by bishop on Apr 7, 2011 0:29:41 GMT -5
“ Sisyphean”
RP1
Nate Bishop
vs.
Tommy Knoxville
vs.
Steeltoe Joe
Scene One : “ Making it.”
* Nate Bishop arrives in the Arena Monterrey as preparations from the show have gotten underway. Walking in from the fading daylight in the rear parking lot we can see Nate come in to the area from the two large grey doors. Nate barely takes three steps in the area before he’s approached by WCF’s lead interview, Hank Brown. *
Hank: ‘cuse me, pardon me. Nate, can I have a word with you?
* Nate smiles and nods. *
Nate: Sure.
Hank: Well first off I just want to say welcome to WCF. This week you have your first match and it’s a triple threat no less. Do you have any thoughts or concerns you could give the WCF on the matter?
Nate: As a matter of fact..um..
Hank: It’s Hank.
Nate: Right, Hank. Actually Hank you’re in luck because I do in fact have some thoughts an insights on my triple threat match this week. Perhaps to your disappointment I don’t have any concerns on the matter.
Hank: You’re facing Tommy Knoxville and steeltoe Joe, and you have no concerns. No offense Mr. Bishop but you’re either the bravest or dumbest man in WCF. Both of these men are very much accomplished in their own right- hell, Joe had won over thirty titles. You’d be a fool not to think that he’s not very capable in the ring. An Knox--
* Nate cuts Hank off. *
Nate: Don’t you dare sit here and try to give me a history lesson Hank. Don’t you dare welcome me to the WCF with a warning or degrading comments. I don’t need a history lesson on my opponents, I’ve read up on them well enough. Before I cut you off I believe you were gonna tell me about Tommy Knoxville. I know about Tommy Knoxville. Six foot three, two hundred and thirty pounds. The mans won three titles.. Oh yes.. Impressive.. Lets hail the man a hero for over coming a chronic drug addiction to Flintstone chewy vitamins.
Hank: But Nate it was Pharma--
Nate: BUT HANK!
* Nate scoffs with a mocking tone.*
Nate: Listen, Tommy can make up all the lies in the words that he wants. That he was addicted to pharmaceuticals. He says that to sound like a bad ass. Tommy Knoxville says that to convince not the world but TOMMY KNOXVILLE that he’s worth more then he leads on to be. It’s to my understanding that he and Jason Had a little run at success here in WCF not too long ago. Let’s make it perfectly clear though that the only reason Tommy got the success that he did was because he was piggy-backing off the skill and talent of one Jason Kash. For a long, long time now Tommy has had the most obscene hardons for Jason Kash for one reason and one reason only.. Tommy Knoxville wants to secretly be Jason Kash. Tommy knows that he can’t reach his desired notion of success the way that Jason could and can so he spends sleepless nights roaming around his apartment, roaming around his hotel rooms with a mask on, fashioned in the likeness of Jason Kash. When all those sleepless nights paid off in the disappointing realization that Tommy could never amount to anything close to what he dreamed of, he turns to Fred and Dino.
He might tell ya that one day he walked into that drug store and he bought diet pills or oxy or NyQuill but we all know that he went down the vitamin section and browsed and searched for hours, maybe even days looking for the one magical thing that could give him the boost that he needed but then boom.. Right out of the corner of his eye he saw .. Them. Sitting middle shelf, just off to the left was the answer to all his problems. It coulda been muscle milk or whey proteins but no, it was Flintstone vitamins. How’s that song go Hank; “ Ten million strong and growing.” Well just what Tommy hoped. In Tommy’s head with his whacked out way of thinking he thought: “Gee, ten million strong, I gottda have me some of that.” and that’s when he went on that downward spiral.
Tommy Knoxville wont tell ya what happened next but I sure as hell will. With in the time he left to just recently when he returned to WCF, Tommy Knoxville has been “ training” and “ sober” may I mind you. You see all that’s code word for drinking skim milk and downing six bottles of Flintstone gummies a day all while staring at himself naked with a Jason Kash mask on, giving himself a buffalo bill. He spent weeks crying himself to sleep with that bottle clutched in his hands asking the characters on the label “ why can’t I be like him?” Tommy has soo many delusions that they all just run into each other but somehow he got himself together and was in a little place called APW where Jason Kash and myself completely decimated him with absolutely no regrets or regard. So now Tommy’s back here with his “ unfinished business“.. This unfinished business.
* Nate rolls up the sleeve of his t-shirt to reveal a black arm band with red lettering that reads “ DT” *
Tommy wants to soo badly be DangerTainment but that endeavor is exponentials beyond his dreams of being a Jason Kash clone because envy does not become us. Greed and vanity does not become us. He wants to be one of us so bad yet he can not rid himself of the necessary evil to do so because he has not figured out that that his the embodiment of all the things that we hate. Tommy Knoxville embodies all that things we’re against.
* Hank interrupts Nate. *
Hank: Did you just reveal to us that you’re the newest member of DangerTainment?
Nate: newest member; Hank I am the FOUNDING member. I am a DT original and the golden prodigy of Dangertainment. The Chosen Future himself.. The living High Profile, Nate Bishop!
Hank: Great, now there’s more of you.
Nate: You’re damn right there’s more of “ us.” Now WCF has the best of “ them.” Tommy came back to deal with unfinished business where as I have come here to expand my business. I’ve come to WCF to get my name out there to masses more then I already have because being a house hold name is simply not enough for Nate Bishop and DT. However here I am with fate smiling down upon me because not only did fate screw out Knoxville since the day he burst out from his mothers lions but it continues to fuck him over. DT made him turn his tail and run from APW.. Tommy came crawling back on his knees with his try hard vitamins in one hand and a box of tissues in the other.
So imagine my surprise when I see that not only am I on the card my first week here but I can to take off my short, lace up my boots and flaunt my DT red’s in the face of not one but two men that’ll never, ever get the opportunity? Tommy’s unfinished business is with Jason Kash but first he has to go through me.. Business that never was but business that’s soon to be. This week in a triple threat match south of the boarder , Tommy Knoxville will have the chance to look his future square in the eye and know with out a shadow of doubt, a second thought or glace that his future has already been chosen for him. He knows that as long as I breath, the red and black with never be his. That he is destined forever to admire from afar except when he steps in the ring with it. Except when he steps into the ring with Nate Bishop and I prove to him just like I did a few weeks ago just exactly why I am the voice, the face and the future of not only Dangertainment but of pro wrestling itself! So you go ahead Mr. Brown and you give these ignorant fans their history lesson but don’t you dare tell them a damn thing about me because history will be kind to me because I intend on making it.
Hank: Well I’ll make sure to note that Mr. Bishop.
Nate: You better
* Nate looks over Hanks shoulder and points out towards the arena. *
Nate: Are there fans out there right now?
Hank: Yes sir.
Nate: Good, Hank; you’re a good man. You wanted some comments, some inner thoughts, well things are about to get real raw.. Believe it.
* Nate pats Hank on the shoulder before walking past him and making his way towards the ring as the scene begins to fade. *
______________________________________
Scene Two: “ MY word, MY Rules.”
* “300 Violins” strikes the PA system as Nate Bishop comes out from behind the curtain and makes his way down the ring admits a storm of mixed reactions. Once in the ring he gets a mic from the time keeper and just goes off on the crowd. *
Nate: Listen up here, WCF. Listen real good. We both know and these fans in this arena know that you fear Nate Bishop.
* Nate takes off his shirt and throws it into the crowd. *
Nate: You fear Nate bishop because you know what he represents. You know what he founded.. He founded dominance.. Nate Bishop founded glory.. Nate Bishop redefined WCF. Now that Nate Bishop is actually here in you want to stack the odds against him. Give him a task that you’re most certain he can’t complete. Well I’m out here right now to tell you that you’re absolutely, one hundred percent DEAD WRONG! Putting me in a match against DT’s biggest fan and “ The holy Flame” is suppose to make me think twice about my coming here? Or maybe was it a sacrificial appeasement to my good nature in giving me two men that you know couldn’t begin to compare to my immense talents.
Well on both accounts your plan backfired. On one hand you got Knoxville and well, he’ll be too busy poppin’ his gummies to really pay attention to this match, if he evens decides to show up at all. The more people hear about me and get to see me in person, the more my names strikes woe into the hearts of men. Knoxville knows this all too much an all too well Because he knows what he has to look forward too.. The Inevitable.. The Imperfect Future that he leads. He knows that as time travels onward into the future, I will no longer be “ The Chosen” Future.. I’ll just “ Be” He knows that’s something that can’t be stopped, changed, erased or imitated so if he decides to show up at all- you’ve just fed his career and sealed his fate to me. I can an will out perform, outclass and over achieve anything that man could ever dream of doing. Tommy Knoxville is a sad, sad sack of a man now from everything that DangerTainments put him through but when I get done with him on Monday- after its all said and done and he has to look at himself in the mirror with his junk all tucked back with “ DT” sharpied on his bicep. He’ll realize that DangerTainment will be there in every facet of his life, behind every turn in his life an I will rid WCF of the Knoxville problem once again and for that .. You’re welcome.
With that being said, that brings me to my second opponent, “ The Holy Flame.” the um..
* Nate clears his troat in a dramatic and sarcastic fashion. *
“ Living Legend” Steeltoe Joe. Wow.. Really guys.. that’s all I can really muster- W.O.W. What kind of living legend is a man named “ Steeltoe” sounds like a mobster name from Akron, Ohio. He must be like the everyman’s mobster. The mobster with a heart of gold and union benefits.
* Nate snaps his fingers and acts with shocking delight and excitement. *
I got it! He must be a living legend because only true legends have thirty titles to their credit in which none of them have been a world title. Now I apologize folks because truly my rational thought has clearly missed the boat that one. For a man that’s been in this business since long before I was suckin’ on Joe’s mama’s titties.
* Nate looks at the invisible watch on his wrist. *
So like Last night then. Joe’s been wrestling for about twenty four hours now and has amassed himself thirty titles.. Damn.. He must be faster then superman playing Santa clause..
* Some fans laugh, some don’t. *
What, ya’ll don’t have Santa in Mexico? You guys must have Mexican Santa where he breaks into your house and steals your toys, right ?
* Nate nods to himself. *
That’s what I thought. Joe, I got a question for you though.
* Nate scratches his head. *
If you’ve been ya know.. Doing this whole professional wrestling thing since before I was born- where the hell have you been competing that you’ve only won thirty titles and never a world championship? What have you been doing; tucking it in the mirror next to Knoxville? Do you know what it means when you’ve been wrestling for as long as you’ve have and have YET to win the big belt? it means a few things :
one: you’ve been wrestling longer then the good lord intended and you need to hang it up.
Two: You can’t be trusted by that company therefore they won’t give it to you
and of course number three: You’re a loser and you just out an out suck.
I know what you’re sayin Joe, I know what you’re saying : “ But Nate, I was screwed.” Which brings me back to points one, two and three. Joe I’m sorry to tell ya’, but someone’s gotta break it to ya because someone stuck a giant “ kick me” sign on your back an no body told ya.. But for all your years, “ accomplishments” and excuses. You’re a loser. You are a loser with a capitol LO. Your low Joe. You are currently at the lowest point of your career. Its apparent because if you weren’t then you wouldn’t have come here to fight for more then “ just a pay check” if you weren’t at your all time low then you wouldn’t be fighting with “ heart” you’d be fighting with either your brains or your balls and frankly Joe, I don’t think you possess either.
I’m happy for you Joe, with all that you’ve accomplished in your many years in his industry. I’m glad that you’ve been in every match, wrestled and beaten the best. I’m happy that you’ve put your body through the ringer by being put through tables, falling off of ladders, being set on fire and losing pints of blood. That’s fantastic, that’s the pinnacle of awesome. That’s what every wrestler in the world should strive for. The fact that not even the devil himself could break your stride proves something.. And it proves this Joe.. It proves that you’re entire career has been “ Sisyphean.” That means that your career Joe will always be a pain in the ass an all for not! All that you’ve accomplished and more will get you that, a cup of coffee and this…
* Nate points to his DangerTainment armband as the camera zooms in on it. *
It’ll get you a nice long look at this. Something you’ll never be.. This armband personifies one thing- the very best! The one thing in your storied career that you can never be.. The best, a champion… Dangertainment. I can hear you now Joe asking me what I’ve done.. What could I ever hope to accomplish that can compare to all the glories that you’ve seen, all the matches that you’ve been in. I’m sure you’re sittin there next to Knoxville injecting liquid Flintstone gummies into each other’s sacks askin yourself: “ how many have I been in. How many matches have you had Nate?” Well its very simple, hell some of these people can count the number of matches I’ve had on one hand. I’ve had eight matches Joe. Eight freaking matches and while you and Knoxville prime each other up for the fights of your lives; getting ready to fight with all your heart and soul.. I’m too busy punking your asses out- embarrassing the living legend an the eternal try hard himself! You have the biggest heart in wrestling.. You may be the toughest bastard to ever grace this ring and I guess I’ll find that out soon enough but the one thing your little alter boy ass has forgotten is that this business is not about having the most heart or being the toughest. This BUSINESS is about making money. Like every business Joe, you gotta make money. I gotta make money. I gotta make money so guys like you who can’t afford the talent to feed his own anorexic ego can come out here since before your lord Jesus H. santana Zorro Christ was born and stand up on your little soap box and preach to the world how you’re better then they are because you have heart. Because that’s the only thing you got goin for ya yet you still manage to find a way to screw it all up.
I understand you though. I understand that its hard to be righteous. Its damn hard to look temptation square in the ye and not give in but Joe.. You’re in the wrong business, you’re in the wrong ring. The weak will fall, the cancer will go into remission and dry up, the old will die, the deaf will speak, the deaf will hear and the blind will see and when all those miracles take place they will bear witness to the greatest miracle and wonder of them all. In fact Joe I feel a miracle commin’ on right now.
* Nate points out into the crowd. *
You.. Come here. Yes you.. Yup.. Right on up.
* the security guards let a young man come through the crowd and get into the ring. *
Now can you understand English?
Man: Yes.
Nate: So then you understand what I’m saying?
Man: Yes.
Nate: Ok good because we’re gonna do a little lesson in faith healing live here tonight. What your name by the way?
Man: Carlos.
Nate: Ok Carlos. Tonight we are going to display the power of god. Do you think you can help me display the power of our lord?
Carlos: yes.
Nate: Good. First Carlos what I want you to do is close your eyes.
* Carlos closes his eyes and follows all of Nate’s instructions. *
Nate: next I want you to take slow, deep, claming breaths. Open your mind, soul, body and heart to your lord Carlos. Fell his presence in this arena. Feel his presence as it flows through you, relieving your entire being of all its woes an aliments.
* Nate places his hand on Carlos’s head. *
Nate: Now Carlos. You might feel an overwhelming sensation running through you’re body. Worry not because that’s just the ever giving light of the lord. You may speak in strange tongues but fear not because that’s just the wisdom of the lord… now Carlos.. By the power of the lord I say to you HHEEAALL!!
* Nate shoves Carlos to the ground. *
Nate: How do you feel, did it work?
Carlos: No.
* Nate looks back at the camera. *
Nate: You see Joe. Faith and heart and soul doesn’t work in here. It may work there but it doesn’t work in here. It doesn’t work in here because this is my ring.. This is my world and this is my word. Carlos, lets try that again.. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and relax.
* Carlos does what Nate asks as Nate drops the mic and hits Carlos with his future Imperfect “GTS” Carlos hit’s the ground unconscious as Nate grabs the mic again. *
Nate: The miracle joe is ME! What I tell ya Joe.. My ring, my world, my words.. My rules. Because in this ring I am the lord! If you plan on coming into WCF with your little wana be group of devastation then just like Knoxville you’ll have to go through me from redemption and DangerTainment are not the forgiving sort. So for all your preaching, story telling and scary stories of the boogy man.. Just check them at the door along with your heart and soul philosophy because you simply aren’t going to need them. Oh’ and while you’re checking way of life at the door why don’t you check with lost and found o see if anyone’s turned in your balls because if you really plan on going through with “ testing and proving” those “weasels” you’re going to need all the need all the help you can get.
I really hope you can back up your mouth Joe because you don’t want me in your camp and you sure as hell don’t want me when I’m on top of my game. You just be good to remember something Joe an I know you’re all to familiar with this saying. Abashed the devil stood when he felt how awful goodness is.. And Monday night Joe.. You will too but Nate Bishop isn’t just good.. he’s the best thing ever an if you don’t believe me, then Monday night you’ll BELIEVE IT. You’ll believe not because I’ve made you bleed or made you see the light. No, nothing cliché like that. You’ll believe it Joe when the twenty year old with eight matches an a higher profile in this industry humiliates you in front of more people then you’ve ever dreamed would be watching you because they’re all watching The Chosen Future, The High Profile.. Nate Bishop and at the end of the night when both you and Knoxville are laid out in the centre of this ring- beaten and humiliated you’ll be able to tack on something new next to those thirty cereal box champions that you have:
A loss to Nate Bishop..
* Nate drops the mic and leaves the ring, walking to the back as 300 violins plays him out and the fans boo him with out mercy. *
~~FINN
RP1
Nate Bishop
vs.
Tommy Knoxville
vs.
Steeltoe Joe
Scene One : “ Making it.”
* Nate Bishop arrives in the Arena Monterrey as preparations from the show have gotten underway. Walking in from the fading daylight in the rear parking lot we can see Nate come in to the area from the two large grey doors. Nate barely takes three steps in the area before he’s approached by WCF’s lead interview, Hank Brown. *
Hank: ‘cuse me, pardon me. Nate, can I have a word with you?
* Nate smiles and nods. *
Nate: Sure.
Hank: Well first off I just want to say welcome to WCF. This week you have your first match and it’s a triple threat no less. Do you have any thoughts or concerns you could give the WCF on the matter?
Nate: As a matter of fact..um..
Hank: It’s Hank.
Nate: Right, Hank. Actually Hank you’re in luck because I do in fact have some thoughts an insights on my triple threat match this week. Perhaps to your disappointment I don’t have any concerns on the matter.
Hank: You’re facing Tommy Knoxville and steeltoe Joe, and you have no concerns. No offense Mr. Bishop but you’re either the bravest or dumbest man in WCF. Both of these men are very much accomplished in their own right- hell, Joe had won over thirty titles. You’d be a fool not to think that he’s not very capable in the ring. An Knox--
* Nate cuts Hank off. *
Nate: Don’t you dare sit here and try to give me a history lesson Hank. Don’t you dare welcome me to the WCF with a warning or degrading comments. I don’t need a history lesson on my opponents, I’ve read up on them well enough. Before I cut you off I believe you were gonna tell me about Tommy Knoxville. I know about Tommy Knoxville. Six foot three, two hundred and thirty pounds. The mans won three titles.. Oh yes.. Impressive.. Lets hail the man a hero for over coming a chronic drug addiction to Flintstone chewy vitamins.
Hank: But Nate it was Pharma--
Nate: BUT HANK!
* Nate scoffs with a mocking tone.*
Nate: Listen, Tommy can make up all the lies in the words that he wants. That he was addicted to pharmaceuticals. He says that to sound like a bad ass. Tommy Knoxville says that to convince not the world but TOMMY KNOXVILLE that he’s worth more then he leads on to be. It’s to my understanding that he and Jason Had a little run at success here in WCF not too long ago. Let’s make it perfectly clear though that the only reason Tommy got the success that he did was because he was piggy-backing off the skill and talent of one Jason Kash. For a long, long time now Tommy has had the most obscene hardons for Jason Kash for one reason and one reason only.. Tommy Knoxville wants to secretly be Jason Kash. Tommy knows that he can’t reach his desired notion of success the way that Jason could and can so he spends sleepless nights roaming around his apartment, roaming around his hotel rooms with a mask on, fashioned in the likeness of Jason Kash. When all those sleepless nights paid off in the disappointing realization that Tommy could never amount to anything close to what he dreamed of, he turns to Fred and Dino.
He might tell ya that one day he walked into that drug store and he bought diet pills or oxy or NyQuill but we all know that he went down the vitamin section and browsed and searched for hours, maybe even days looking for the one magical thing that could give him the boost that he needed but then boom.. Right out of the corner of his eye he saw .. Them. Sitting middle shelf, just off to the left was the answer to all his problems. It coulda been muscle milk or whey proteins but no, it was Flintstone vitamins. How’s that song go Hank; “ Ten million strong and growing.” Well just what Tommy hoped. In Tommy’s head with his whacked out way of thinking he thought: “Gee, ten million strong, I gottda have me some of that.” and that’s when he went on that downward spiral.
Tommy Knoxville wont tell ya what happened next but I sure as hell will. With in the time he left to just recently when he returned to WCF, Tommy Knoxville has been “ training” and “ sober” may I mind you. You see all that’s code word for drinking skim milk and downing six bottles of Flintstone gummies a day all while staring at himself naked with a Jason Kash mask on, giving himself a buffalo bill. He spent weeks crying himself to sleep with that bottle clutched in his hands asking the characters on the label “ why can’t I be like him?” Tommy has soo many delusions that they all just run into each other but somehow he got himself together and was in a little place called APW where Jason Kash and myself completely decimated him with absolutely no regrets or regard. So now Tommy’s back here with his “ unfinished business“.. This unfinished business.
* Nate rolls up the sleeve of his t-shirt to reveal a black arm band with red lettering that reads “ DT” *
Tommy wants to soo badly be DangerTainment but that endeavor is exponentials beyond his dreams of being a Jason Kash clone because envy does not become us. Greed and vanity does not become us. He wants to be one of us so bad yet he can not rid himself of the necessary evil to do so because he has not figured out that that his the embodiment of all the things that we hate. Tommy Knoxville embodies all that things we’re against.
* Hank interrupts Nate. *
Hank: Did you just reveal to us that you’re the newest member of DangerTainment?
Nate: newest member; Hank I am the FOUNDING member. I am a DT original and the golden prodigy of Dangertainment. The Chosen Future himself.. The living High Profile, Nate Bishop!
Hank: Great, now there’s more of you.
Nate: You’re damn right there’s more of “ us.” Now WCF has the best of “ them.” Tommy came back to deal with unfinished business where as I have come here to expand my business. I’ve come to WCF to get my name out there to masses more then I already have because being a house hold name is simply not enough for Nate Bishop and DT. However here I am with fate smiling down upon me because not only did fate screw out Knoxville since the day he burst out from his mothers lions but it continues to fuck him over. DT made him turn his tail and run from APW.. Tommy came crawling back on his knees with his try hard vitamins in one hand and a box of tissues in the other.
So imagine my surprise when I see that not only am I on the card my first week here but I can to take off my short, lace up my boots and flaunt my DT red’s in the face of not one but two men that’ll never, ever get the opportunity? Tommy’s unfinished business is with Jason Kash but first he has to go through me.. Business that never was but business that’s soon to be. This week in a triple threat match south of the boarder , Tommy Knoxville will have the chance to look his future square in the eye and know with out a shadow of doubt, a second thought or glace that his future has already been chosen for him. He knows that as long as I breath, the red and black with never be his. That he is destined forever to admire from afar except when he steps in the ring with it. Except when he steps into the ring with Nate Bishop and I prove to him just like I did a few weeks ago just exactly why I am the voice, the face and the future of not only Dangertainment but of pro wrestling itself! So you go ahead Mr. Brown and you give these ignorant fans their history lesson but don’t you dare tell them a damn thing about me because history will be kind to me because I intend on making it.
Hank: Well I’ll make sure to note that Mr. Bishop.
Nate: You better
* Nate looks over Hanks shoulder and points out towards the arena. *
Nate: Are there fans out there right now?
Hank: Yes sir.
Nate: Good, Hank; you’re a good man. You wanted some comments, some inner thoughts, well things are about to get real raw.. Believe it.
* Nate pats Hank on the shoulder before walking past him and making his way towards the ring as the scene begins to fade. *
______________________________________
Scene Two: “ MY word, MY Rules.”
* “300 Violins” strikes the PA system as Nate Bishop comes out from behind the curtain and makes his way down the ring admits a storm of mixed reactions. Once in the ring he gets a mic from the time keeper and just goes off on the crowd. *
Nate: Listen up here, WCF. Listen real good. We both know and these fans in this arena know that you fear Nate Bishop.
* Nate takes off his shirt and throws it into the crowd. *
Nate: You fear Nate bishop because you know what he represents. You know what he founded.. He founded dominance.. Nate Bishop founded glory.. Nate Bishop redefined WCF. Now that Nate Bishop is actually here in you want to stack the odds against him. Give him a task that you’re most certain he can’t complete. Well I’m out here right now to tell you that you’re absolutely, one hundred percent DEAD WRONG! Putting me in a match against DT’s biggest fan and “ The holy Flame” is suppose to make me think twice about my coming here? Or maybe was it a sacrificial appeasement to my good nature in giving me two men that you know couldn’t begin to compare to my immense talents.
Well on both accounts your plan backfired. On one hand you got Knoxville and well, he’ll be too busy poppin’ his gummies to really pay attention to this match, if he evens decides to show up at all. The more people hear about me and get to see me in person, the more my names strikes woe into the hearts of men. Knoxville knows this all too much an all too well Because he knows what he has to look forward too.. The Inevitable.. The Imperfect Future that he leads. He knows that as time travels onward into the future, I will no longer be “ The Chosen” Future.. I’ll just “ Be” He knows that’s something that can’t be stopped, changed, erased or imitated so if he decides to show up at all- you’ve just fed his career and sealed his fate to me. I can an will out perform, outclass and over achieve anything that man could ever dream of doing. Tommy Knoxville is a sad, sad sack of a man now from everything that DangerTainments put him through but when I get done with him on Monday- after its all said and done and he has to look at himself in the mirror with his junk all tucked back with “ DT” sharpied on his bicep. He’ll realize that DangerTainment will be there in every facet of his life, behind every turn in his life an I will rid WCF of the Knoxville problem once again and for that .. You’re welcome.
With that being said, that brings me to my second opponent, “ The Holy Flame.” the um..
* Nate clears his troat in a dramatic and sarcastic fashion. *
“ Living Legend” Steeltoe Joe. Wow.. Really guys.. that’s all I can really muster- W.O.W. What kind of living legend is a man named “ Steeltoe” sounds like a mobster name from Akron, Ohio. He must be like the everyman’s mobster. The mobster with a heart of gold and union benefits.
* Nate snaps his fingers and acts with shocking delight and excitement. *
I got it! He must be a living legend because only true legends have thirty titles to their credit in which none of them have been a world title. Now I apologize folks because truly my rational thought has clearly missed the boat that one. For a man that’s been in this business since long before I was suckin’ on Joe’s mama’s titties.
* Nate looks at the invisible watch on his wrist. *
So like Last night then. Joe’s been wrestling for about twenty four hours now and has amassed himself thirty titles.. Damn.. He must be faster then superman playing Santa clause..
* Some fans laugh, some don’t. *
What, ya’ll don’t have Santa in Mexico? You guys must have Mexican Santa where he breaks into your house and steals your toys, right ?
* Nate nods to himself. *
That’s what I thought. Joe, I got a question for you though.
* Nate scratches his head. *
If you’ve been ya know.. Doing this whole professional wrestling thing since before I was born- where the hell have you been competing that you’ve only won thirty titles and never a world championship? What have you been doing; tucking it in the mirror next to Knoxville? Do you know what it means when you’ve been wrestling for as long as you’ve have and have YET to win the big belt? it means a few things :
one: you’ve been wrestling longer then the good lord intended and you need to hang it up.
Two: You can’t be trusted by that company therefore they won’t give it to you
and of course number three: You’re a loser and you just out an out suck.
I know what you’re sayin Joe, I know what you’re saying : “ But Nate, I was screwed.” Which brings me back to points one, two and three. Joe I’m sorry to tell ya’, but someone’s gotta break it to ya because someone stuck a giant “ kick me” sign on your back an no body told ya.. But for all your years, “ accomplishments” and excuses. You’re a loser. You are a loser with a capitol LO. Your low Joe. You are currently at the lowest point of your career. Its apparent because if you weren’t then you wouldn’t have come here to fight for more then “ just a pay check” if you weren’t at your all time low then you wouldn’t be fighting with “ heart” you’d be fighting with either your brains or your balls and frankly Joe, I don’t think you possess either.
I’m happy for you Joe, with all that you’ve accomplished in your many years in his industry. I’m glad that you’ve been in every match, wrestled and beaten the best. I’m happy that you’ve put your body through the ringer by being put through tables, falling off of ladders, being set on fire and losing pints of blood. That’s fantastic, that’s the pinnacle of awesome. That’s what every wrestler in the world should strive for. The fact that not even the devil himself could break your stride proves something.. And it proves this Joe.. It proves that you’re entire career has been “ Sisyphean.” That means that your career Joe will always be a pain in the ass an all for not! All that you’ve accomplished and more will get you that, a cup of coffee and this…
* Nate points to his DangerTainment armband as the camera zooms in on it. *
It’ll get you a nice long look at this. Something you’ll never be.. This armband personifies one thing- the very best! The one thing in your storied career that you can never be.. The best, a champion… Dangertainment. I can hear you now Joe asking me what I’ve done.. What could I ever hope to accomplish that can compare to all the glories that you’ve seen, all the matches that you’ve been in. I’m sure you’re sittin there next to Knoxville injecting liquid Flintstone gummies into each other’s sacks askin yourself: “ how many have I been in. How many matches have you had Nate?” Well its very simple, hell some of these people can count the number of matches I’ve had on one hand. I’ve had eight matches Joe. Eight freaking matches and while you and Knoxville prime each other up for the fights of your lives; getting ready to fight with all your heart and soul.. I’m too busy punking your asses out- embarrassing the living legend an the eternal try hard himself! You have the biggest heart in wrestling.. You may be the toughest bastard to ever grace this ring and I guess I’ll find that out soon enough but the one thing your little alter boy ass has forgotten is that this business is not about having the most heart or being the toughest. This BUSINESS is about making money. Like every business Joe, you gotta make money. I gotta make money. I gotta make money so guys like you who can’t afford the talent to feed his own anorexic ego can come out here since before your lord Jesus H. santana Zorro Christ was born and stand up on your little soap box and preach to the world how you’re better then they are because you have heart. Because that’s the only thing you got goin for ya yet you still manage to find a way to screw it all up.
I understand you though. I understand that its hard to be righteous. Its damn hard to look temptation square in the ye and not give in but Joe.. You’re in the wrong business, you’re in the wrong ring. The weak will fall, the cancer will go into remission and dry up, the old will die, the deaf will speak, the deaf will hear and the blind will see and when all those miracles take place they will bear witness to the greatest miracle and wonder of them all. In fact Joe I feel a miracle commin’ on right now.
* Nate points out into the crowd. *
You.. Come here. Yes you.. Yup.. Right on up.
* the security guards let a young man come through the crowd and get into the ring. *
Now can you understand English?
Man: Yes.
Nate: So then you understand what I’m saying?
Man: Yes.
Nate: Ok good because we’re gonna do a little lesson in faith healing live here tonight. What your name by the way?
Man: Carlos.
Nate: Ok Carlos. Tonight we are going to display the power of god. Do you think you can help me display the power of our lord?
Carlos: yes.
Nate: Good. First Carlos what I want you to do is close your eyes.
* Carlos closes his eyes and follows all of Nate’s instructions. *
Nate: next I want you to take slow, deep, claming breaths. Open your mind, soul, body and heart to your lord Carlos. Fell his presence in this arena. Feel his presence as it flows through you, relieving your entire being of all its woes an aliments.
* Nate places his hand on Carlos’s head. *
Nate: Now Carlos. You might feel an overwhelming sensation running through you’re body. Worry not because that’s just the ever giving light of the lord. You may speak in strange tongues but fear not because that’s just the wisdom of the lord… now Carlos.. By the power of the lord I say to you HHEEAALL!!
* Nate shoves Carlos to the ground. *
Nate: How do you feel, did it work?
Carlos: No.
* Nate looks back at the camera. *
Nate: You see Joe. Faith and heart and soul doesn’t work in here. It may work there but it doesn’t work in here. It doesn’t work in here because this is my ring.. This is my world and this is my word. Carlos, lets try that again.. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and relax.
* Carlos does what Nate asks as Nate drops the mic and hits Carlos with his future Imperfect “GTS” Carlos hit’s the ground unconscious as Nate grabs the mic again. *
Nate: The miracle joe is ME! What I tell ya Joe.. My ring, my world, my words.. My rules. Because in this ring I am the lord! If you plan on coming into WCF with your little wana be group of devastation then just like Knoxville you’ll have to go through me from redemption and DangerTainment are not the forgiving sort. So for all your preaching, story telling and scary stories of the boogy man.. Just check them at the door along with your heart and soul philosophy because you simply aren’t going to need them. Oh’ and while you’re checking way of life at the door why don’t you check with lost and found o see if anyone’s turned in your balls because if you really plan on going through with “ testing and proving” those “weasels” you’re going to need all the need all the help you can get.
I really hope you can back up your mouth Joe because you don’t want me in your camp and you sure as hell don’t want me when I’m on top of my game. You just be good to remember something Joe an I know you’re all to familiar with this saying. Abashed the devil stood when he felt how awful goodness is.. And Monday night Joe.. You will too but Nate Bishop isn’t just good.. he’s the best thing ever an if you don’t believe me, then Monday night you’ll BELIEVE IT. You’ll believe not because I’ve made you bleed or made you see the light. No, nothing cliché like that. You’ll believe it Joe when the twenty year old with eight matches an a higher profile in this industry humiliates you in front of more people then you’ve ever dreamed would be watching you because they’re all watching The Chosen Future, The High Profile.. Nate Bishop and at the end of the night when both you and Knoxville are laid out in the centre of this ring- beaten and humiliated you’ll be able to tack on something new next to those thirty cereal box champions that you have:
A loss to Nate Bishop..
* Nate drops the mic and leaves the ring, walking to the back as 300 violins plays him out and the fans boo him with out mercy. *
~~FINN
