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Post by FPV on Mar 16, 2011 17:55:48 GMT -5
So guys, How'd I do on my first RP in about a year? All contructive critiscism is welcome.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2011 19:13:24 GMT -5
I thought it was very good. You set the scene nicely with a strong narrative tone and good description. It was easy to read from start to finish. You gave us a glimpse into FPV's psyche without revealing too much, which leaves the reader wanting more and looking forward to the next RP. I also agreed with FPV's comment that terms like "hardcore" and "epic" get thrown around way too much.
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Shane Borderland
Mid-Carder
"I Will Overcome Anything, To Achieve EVERYTHING!"
Posts: 546
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Post by Shane Borderland on Mar 16, 2011 20:01:28 GMT -5
im with bobby on this one, description was a good part in this RP, and he is also right about it does want the readers to want more, keep up the good work.
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Post by FPV on Mar 20, 2011 20:04:47 GMT -5
New RP up. I'll just be using this thread for all my RPs from now on.
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Post by Jason Cashe on Mar 20, 2011 20:39:11 GMT -5
Everyone has their own style. Feedback is asking other styles to comment on yours. So I'll give you what I see but again it's just because I have my own style and everyone else's is gonna be different even if only slightly different.
Conversation to me is a good piece to an rp but should never be the entire rp alone. Trash Talking is a vital piece of the puzzle at least to me. You can talk shit in conversation but then you are doing it to someone else in the promo and promo time isn't for conversations alone. Just leaves someone hanging because no real E-Fed promo is just talking in a conversation, you need more substance. Not saying go out and write 5-6 thousand words but tell give some shoot in the promo at the very least. The newer rp is more of a Backstage Segment not a promo.
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Post by Speede on Mar 20, 2011 20:42:49 GMT -5
Everyone has their own style. Feedback is asking other styles to comment on yours. So I'll give you what I see but again it's just because I have my own style and everyone else's is gonna be different even if only slightly different. Conversation to me is a good piece to an rp but should never be the entire rp alone. Trash Talking is a vital piece of the puzzle at least to me. You can talk shit in conversation but then you are doing it to someone else in the promo and promo time isn't for conversations alone. Just leaves someone hanging because no real E-Fed promo is just talking in a conversation, you need more substance. Not saying go out and write 5-6 thousand words but tell give some shoot in the promo at the very least. The newer rp is more of a Backstage Segment not a promo. ehh, I thought it was good, but now that you say it, I do agree that Trash-Talking can make or break RPs at times. I do admit, though, I kinda like the idea of promos that show total disregard for the opponent and focus on good substance. |
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Post by Jason Cashe on Mar 21, 2011 17:22:19 GMT -5
Good substance is still more than a conversation. Substance in a promo means some Character Development and a conversation isn't that. Not saying anything bad because he has the convo part down and does it well. Just add some trash talk and some more description. That's just the way I see it and again, everyone does it different.
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Post by FPV on Mar 22, 2011 17:36:11 GMT -5
New RP. Got another one in planning.
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Post by Speede on Mar 22, 2011 18:00:28 GMT -5
Good job! That is an excellent RP! Keep it up!
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Post by FPV on Mar 23, 2011 17:49:50 GMT -5
Part one of the new RP is up. I'll be working on part two in a bit.
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Post by princeofphenomenal on Mar 23, 2011 18:05:11 GMT -5
Alright so people, how does this work.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2011 18:12:04 GMT -5
Alright so people, how does this work. How does what work? Giving feedback on someone's RP? |
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Post by FPV on Mar 23, 2011 18:13:06 GMT -5
Nah, he's my friend. He's new to RP e-feds, so I'm trying to show him how this place works.
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Post by FPV on Mar 24, 2011 18:56:41 GMT -5
Aaaaand part two is up. Now cooking up ideas.
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Post by Speede on Mar 24, 2011 19:06:09 GMT -5
Excellent...Excellent... But a warning, you've got to put up a LOT more if you're up against Greenfever; the hardcore title matches have unlimited RPs, and he's aready put up 5 to your... 2, is it? You've gotta throw up a hell of a lot of RPs to beat Greenfever. Just sayin'... But you're doing great.
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Post by FPV on Mar 24, 2011 19:09:46 GMT -5
Actually, I've got three. Still, your point is valid.
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Post by Speede on Mar 24, 2011 19:10:28 GMT -5
Sorry, much like Kash and Ana, I'm not very good at math...
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Post by FPV on Mar 24, 2011 19:15:37 GMT -5
Actually, i believe if I just chucked crap RPs just catch up with Greenfever, I'd just be hurting myself. I believe in quality over auantity. Still, another rp couldn't hurt.
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Post by Torture on Mar 24, 2011 19:56:27 GMT -5
Advice: Another one or two high quality ones couldn't hurt.
Just so everyone knows, GF can post fifty RPs but if the story isn't cohesive, if there is no direct relation to the match, then it's not scored real high on my judging. Price and CD may judge different, and probably do, but me, I like to think we ARE wrestlers so you DO have a match, you SHOULD talk some sort of trash towards the opponent, evolve your character, progress through your story and the story IN WCF, and make it coherent and direct.
If you can do that, with a good amount of length, then I judge pretty high.
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Post by Jason Cashe on Mar 24, 2011 20:05:24 GMT -5
I agree Tort.
@speede: Eat me Rookie! Hahaha
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