Post by Jack of Blades on Apr 27, 2006 12:09:23 GMT -5
(The camera shows the left half of Jack of Blades’ upper body, down to about the shoulders, only. We can’t see his hands but it’s obvious he’s using them to throw a magic 8 ball up and down. A magic 8 ball that appears on the screen and falls with every throw. It’s too dark in the background to make out anything other than Jack. It is as if he is standing in front of some void. His half mouth is smiling.)
Jack of Blades: At Payback, a lot of things will happen. Debuts, wounds, taunts, victories, losses, submissions, vendettas. And yet, nothing will come to the end except the show. When Havock is chewing mat and Ellis is in the process of vomiting back up, nothing will be settled. A title may be on one of us but then again I think we’ve both established its irrelevance. The clothes do not make the man, the degree does not make the intellectual and the title does not make the wrestler. Of course, a laugh and a smile do make a madman. But I digress…
You see my dear, after this encounter it will not be settled. Your ‘enlightenment’ will take some time. Admittedly, I understood that other things would have to be set in motion before you finally succumb to the greatest gift of all and I’m not referring to the one from ‘The Unholy Voice.’ You gave me that and I simply returned it. No, I’m talking about the finest present a sane family man with his 401k and Ikea nesting instinct can ask for…insanity.
You see with that gift is non-refundable and it’s very often covered in layers of wrapping paper such as an office job or a pleasant hobby such as kite-flying. But once you get to that nougat centre of incoherent thought then the celebrations begin. You begin to see religious iconography in fireworks. You start to consider the idea that Pepsi and Coca Cola are indeed the same thing. You begin to merge the world of reality with whatever computer game Jack Johnson is prosecuted this week. I see now the virtue in madness, for this country knows no law nor any boundary.
But unfortunately you’ve thrown a spanner in the works. You’ve involved other people, people that are plugged into the central nexus that is pop culture. That kendo-stick wielding feminist extremist, Tommy Havock, JJ Biggs, Chrissy. You’ve all pulled them into your station as your pawns. And now, I have to delay my busy schedule to clear them out of the way. But maybe it’s been useful to me. I mean, by bringing these people around yourself, you are showing you have a degree of compassion in your sandpaper body. And remember, the causes of my madness may have been progressive but all it took was one little catastrophe as a catalyst to send me doo-lally. That is all it takes anyone. The losing of one’s limbs, the rejection of affection, even the loss of a loved one. But I’m sure you’ll enjoy your rubber room. All your favourite stars are turning to psychosis: Crowley, Manson, Bundy, Hindley, Sutcliffe, Berkowitz and Cruise. You’re gonna make a welcome addition to our reality and a warm boast for me. So let’s ask, my magic 8 ball if we’re gonna be friends forever:
(Jack of Blades shakes the ball, looks at the result, and shows it to the camera.)
“Outlook is bleak.” Huh, only if you’re not doped up on designer drugs such as rationality and ethical standings. Otherwise, you may end up looking like this.
(Jack sidesteps to show his left side and hide his right half. The right half of his body that has been hidden throughout the promo is of completely different attire to his left. Whereas his left has his trench coat, suit, styled hair, wristband etc. his right side shows him as the typical man, or at least, his view of the everyman. His hair has been combed back into a very clear quaff as if to suggest an impossible effort at respectability. His right eye is covered in one frame of spectacles, which was missing from his left. He’s basically wearing one half of a pair of glasses. He has a pimple below the ridge of his mouth, on his right side that is obviously a trick of make-up application. He is wearing a white-collar shirt with some buttons missing and half a tie going down it. His right arm features four watches all telling different times and a message written by a sharpie on his bicep that says “Pick-up Chinese for dinner.” He’s wearing some grey corduroy trousers with pressed creases with them tucked into his long white socks. The ensemble is finished with a pair of pastel-coloured golf shoes. After the camera has documented this, Jack turns sideways and shows the left ‘normal’ side of his body only as he begins to speak.)
Bleak, huh?
(He walks off in a fit of hysterics.)
Jack of Blades: At Payback, a lot of things will happen. Debuts, wounds, taunts, victories, losses, submissions, vendettas. And yet, nothing will come to the end except the show. When Havock is chewing mat and Ellis is in the process of vomiting back up, nothing will be settled. A title may be on one of us but then again I think we’ve both established its irrelevance. The clothes do not make the man, the degree does not make the intellectual and the title does not make the wrestler. Of course, a laugh and a smile do make a madman. But I digress…
You see my dear, after this encounter it will not be settled. Your ‘enlightenment’ will take some time. Admittedly, I understood that other things would have to be set in motion before you finally succumb to the greatest gift of all and I’m not referring to the one from ‘The Unholy Voice.’ You gave me that and I simply returned it. No, I’m talking about the finest present a sane family man with his 401k and Ikea nesting instinct can ask for…insanity.
You see with that gift is non-refundable and it’s very often covered in layers of wrapping paper such as an office job or a pleasant hobby such as kite-flying. But once you get to that nougat centre of incoherent thought then the celebrations begin. You begin to see religious iconography in fireworks. You start to consider the idea that Pepsi and Coca Cola are indeed the same thing. You begin to merge the world of reality with whatever computer game Jack Johnson is prosecuted this week. I see now the virtue in madness, for this country knows no law nor any boundary.
But unfortunately you’ve thrown a spanner in the works. You’ve involved other people, people that are plugged into the central nexus that is pop culture. That kendo-stick wielding feminist extremist, Tommy Havock, JJ Biggs, Chrissy. You’ve all pulled them into your station as your pawns. And now, I have to delay my busy schedule to clear them out of the way. But maybe it’s been useful to me. I mean, by bringing these people around yourself, you are showing you have a degree of compassion in your sandpaper body. And remember, the causes of my madness may have been progressive but all it took was one little catastrophe as a catalyst to send me doo-lally. That is all it takes anyone. The losing of one’s limbs, the rejection of affection, even the loss of a loved one. But I’m sure you’ll enjoy your rubber room. All your favourite stars are turning to psychosis: Crowley, Manson, Bundy, Hindley, Sutcliffe, Berkowitz and Cruise. You’re gonna make a welcome addition to our reality and a warm boast for me. So let’s ask, my magic 8 ball if we’re gonna be friends forever:
(Jack of Blades shakes the ball, looks at the result, and shows it to the camera.)
“Outlook is bleak.” Huh, only if you’re not doped up on designer drugs such as rationality and ethical standings. Otherwise, you may end up looking like this.
(Jack sidesteps to show his left side and hide his right half. The right half of his body that has been hidden throughout the promo is of completely different attire to his left. Whereas his left has his trench coat, suit, styled hair, wristband etc. his right side shows him as the typical man, or at least, his view of the everyman. His hair has been combed back into a very clear quaff as if to suggest an impossible effort at respectability. His right eye is covered in one frame of spectacles, which was missing from his left. He’s basically wearing one half of a pair of glasses. He has a pimple below the ridge of his mouth, on his right side that is obviously a trick of make-up application. He is wearing a white-collar shirt with some buttons missing and half a tie going down it. His right arm features four watches all telling different times and a message written by a sharpie on his bicep that says “Pick-up Chinese for dinner.” He’s wearing some grey corduroy trousers with pressed creases with them tucked into his long white socks. The ensemble is finished with a pair of pastel-coloured golf shoes. After the camera has documented this, Jack turns sideways and shows the left ‘normal’ side of his body only as he begins to speak.)
Bleak, huh?
(He walks off in a fit of hysterics.)
