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Post by Speede on Jan 28, 2011 23:46:11 GMT -5
Please post any feedback you have for my RPs. I'm rather new to RPing, so any advice is greatly appreciated.
Edit: First official RP for the Upcoming Slam (2.7.11) posted.
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Post by Allen Guiliano on Jan 29, 2011 0:33:00 GMT -5
My first piece of advice to you would be to look over other people's RPs to get what would be expected. When I first started, I learned a lot in a short amount of time just by reading over other character's RPs and then mocking that format without stealing or even remotely coming close to their ideas or scenes in the RP. To understand what it will take to get to a championship level, I would start by reading RPs by guys who current hold those belts. For instance, if you want to become the United States start reading RPs by guys who have held it before or are competing for it at the next event. The style that you develop will ultimately be yours, but in my RPs I always tried to make sure there was a beginning that set the scene and tone of the RP, a middle part that was the major portion of what my character had to say about upcoming opponents, story lines, feuds, matches, etc., and then the conclusion that tied everything together and possibly set up your opponent for a response or even to make a bold statement.
Secondly, at least for the first few RPs that you put up, give people some background on your character and tell us why your character is in the "wrestling business". This will not only give you something to build on and look back on but will also give opponents something to work with which will ultimately lead to story lines and when story lines are established thats when things start to get interesting. Sometimes this is the hardest part as you don't really have anyone to respond to or any opponent to address.
Thirdly, to make your RPs easier to read, I would suggest the use of color for when your character is speaking so that the reader knows exactly what is being said and what is being thought or not spoken out loud. This is simple HTML code and doesn't take long to learn or you can simply use the buttons at the top of the field where you enter your RP for the basic colors. Also, try to stick to the same color for your character's speech for every RP. For example, if you ever read one of my RPs, all you have to do is look for the red text to know where my character is speaking. It may not be that important now, but down the road it makes it easier for people to skim over your RPs to see where your character is actually speaking if they do not want to read through all the other stuff.
Those are just a few suggestions and I'm sorry if it seems a bit overwhelming. I was definitely in the position you were in when I first started and I would say that over time and with a lot of patience and willingness to get better, I was a pretty good RPer when I finally was forced to stop being an "active" member.
If you need anything at all, there are guys here that are more than willing to help you out or feel free to add me on AIM if you have it and ask me anything you might have a question about. My s/n is ThatOneSportsNut but I am probably not on as often as some of the other veterans around here.
With that being said, welcome to the WCF!
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Post by Doc Henry on Jan 29, 2011 1:20:18 GMT -5
Yeah, what he said...  |
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Post by Speede on Jan 29, 2011 14:04:18 GMT -5
Thanks for the advice, guys! I'll definitely work on it, and try designing a more appealing RP for the future. I'm thinking Teal for my character's speech, and Navy for the valet.
I'm not guaranteeing this will be the start of my new debut RP (gonna delete the other one pobably... and give him a valet), but I'm thinking something like this...
It was dark, almost gloomy, and as the scene slowly fades into view, the moonlight can be seen reflecting off the fronts of several buildings, and two pairs of eyes could be seen in an alleyway between two buildings. The camera begins zooming in, and the outline of a man can be made out. Among his visible features are spiked white hair, and a rather thin waist for a male. Standing a few yards away from this man, another man is present. He stands at least an inch taller, has a larger waist, broader shoulders, and appears more muscular. His hair is long, and also shows a glistening appearance in the moonlight.
You know, Roy, you've made it. You're in the spotlight; you're in the WCF. You're gonna be challenged here.
Yeah, but it's just luck that I'm here. I don't deserve it, I'm just another fan; if I could make it, the fans should all be able to make it.
Nah, Roy. You're better than them; you're the best wrestler in WCF history. They just don't know it yet.
I don't know...
Roy looks down at his boots; there is a scuff on one, and he bends over to wipe if off before turning to leave the alleyway. Nolan follows behind him in a nagging way.
Roy, believe me, you're gonna be a legend by the time this is over.
Good starting point, or should I try an entirely different storyline?
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Post by Allen Guiliano on Jan 29, 2011 16:37:15 GMT -5
Thats a start. However, I would suggest a different color other than Navy as it is tough to read on the black background and I would use tags for the speaker, at least on the first few lines so we know who is talking. For example:
Valet: You know, Roy, you've made it. You're in the spotlight; you're in the WCF. You're gonna be challenged here.
Roy: Yeah, but it's just luck that I'm here. I don't deserve it, I'm just another fan; if I could make it, the fans should all be able to make it.
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Post by Speede on Jan 29, 2011 22:00:55 GMT -5
So like this:
It was dark, almost gloomy, and as the scene slowly fades into view, the moonlight can be seen reflecting off the fronts of several buildings, and two pairs of eyes could be seen in an alleyway between two buildings. The camera begins zooming in, and the outline of a man can be made out. Among his visible features are spiked white hair, and a rather thin waist for a male. Standing a few yards away from this man, another man is present. He stands at least an inch taller, has a larger waist, broader shoulders, and appears more muscular. His hair is long, and also shows a glistening appearance in the moonlight.
Nolan Walker: "You know, Roy, you've made it. You're in the spotlight; you're in the WCF. You're gonna be challenged here."
Roy Speede: "Yeah, but it's just luck that I'm here. I don't deserve it, I'm just another fan; if I could make it, the fans should all be able to make it."
Nolan: "Nah, Roy. You're better than them; you're the best wrestler in WCF history. They just don't know it yet."
Roy: "I don't know...I don't really think so..."
Roy looks down at his boots; there is a scuff on one, and he bends over to wipe if off before turning to leave the alleyway. Nolan follows behind him in a nagging way.
Nolan: "Roy, believe me, you're gonna be a legend by the time this is over."
Roy: "Legend? Oh I doubt it. The first thing I gotta do is actually win a match, and that could take months."
Nolan: "Are you kidding? If nothing else, I'll be able to try out in a few months, after my injury heals completely, and we'll become a tag team."
Roy: "Makes me feel a bit better. I have the feeling you'll be the better wrestler here. I'm no good at this yet; I still have too much to learn."
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Post by Allen Guiliano on Jan 30, 2011 0:57:11 GMT -5
Exactly! Now we are starting to get somewhere. You have the format down, now just improve on the writing and you will be well on your way!
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Post by Speede on Feb 4, 2011 20:33:42 GMT -5
Okay, I've posted my RPs for the upcoming Slam event; what do you all think?
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