Post by logan on Feb 26, 2006 8:58:16 GMT -5
Here I was, untamed, dark, sweet bitterness running throughout me, selfishness, and fully aware of treachery. When I first came back to WCF, there were a few disagreements. The first being mainly with my ex wife of, our love sparked ten years ago, and up till before this WCF opened I promised her I'd never wrestle again. It's true, I wanted to be a family man. I never really wanted to leave her, but it's something that had to be done. It was my ultimate scarified for winning the WCF belt. I still sat up sometimes at night thinking about her, and what would have happened with us if Seth never called me. It's hard to just throw away your life like that to live another, but it's also damn hard just to throw away the WCF title. That title met a lot to me, and over the last seven years I didn't know who I loved more.. being in WCF, or my own wife. As we all know, I HAD to leave her to be a part of this. She had already called me for a divorce, and I could tell by the tone of her voice she was serious. But, what had sparked this topic to my sweet attention was that tonight I had to go to my house, well, her house, so I could get a few of my old things. I knew she wouldn't be home, not because she told me so, but because I knew she'd probably never want to see my face again. I didn't blame her. Someone picking wrestling over an angel is just insane, but it was the choice I had to make. I sat on the edge of my bed in a hotel room, slipping on my boots, and lacing them up. I planned on leaving in only a few minutes, figuring I should go ahead, and leave now considering it was a couple hours of driving. Hopefully this time I wouldn't get drunk, and break down in a desert. I laughed to myself, before the phone rang.
Logan: Hello?
Ex-Wife: Logan.
Hearing the sound of her beautiful voice brought back memories, good, and bad. Memories I'd only keep to myself.
Logan: Yeah.
I heard a sigh a bit over the telephone.
Ex-Wife: Your coming tonight, right?
Logan: Unfortunately.
Ex-Wife: Heh, well as you know, I'm leaving the key under the door mat.
Logan: Gotcha, I would've liked to see you.
Ex-Wife: Yeah.. me too.
A moment of silence dwelled over the telephone.
Ex-Wife: Well, Logan.. good luck this Sunday.
Logan: Your keeping up with me on the T.V.?
She didn't answer.
Logan: Hm.. thanks. I'll be there in a few hours.
Ex-Wife: Bye.
Click. I hung up the phone, no more "bye, love you" or "bye honey, love you too". No, that life was taken from me just so I could carrying this piece of gold around over my shoulder. I looked over at the WCF title laying beside me which had "Logan" engraved under WCF champion. I'd do anything to have both of that in my life. There was a million of things I wanted to say to my wife, well, er, ex-wife. But it seems when your in the moment to speak, that the awkwardness just makes you choke, and your left speechless. I finally made it to my feet, and threw my WCF title in a overnight bag along with a few outfits. I grabbed my wrestling attire, and packed that in there too. Bringing the bag to my shoulder, I left the hotel heading out to my home in Chesapeake.
A few hours later..
I hadn't said a single word since I spoke to my wife a few hours ago, it was just a straight, silent, lonesome drive from point A to point B. When I arrived to my old house, she wasn't there. I knew she wouldn't be, but that didn't stop me from day dreaming on the way there that when I arrived she'd be smiling, and opening her arms for an embrace like she use to. It wasn't like that anymore, instead I pulled into the driveway of a dark house with a "For Sale" sign sticking out of the front yard. I never wanted this. I cut the truck off, and sat there a few minutes staring at the house. Just thinking back made me smile..
Six years ago..
Ashley: Baby, do you really mean it?
I held her in my arms, right there on the front porch. Her legs wrapped around my waist, embraced with her as I stared into her beautiful blue innocent eyes.
Logan: Yes. We can start our own life now, I've made enough money with WCF that we can afford this life honey. No more living in different hotels every week, it's just me, and you.
Ashley: You promise?
Logan: I promise.
Our lips touched together, for a soft kiss, and not just that.. when of them magical memories that never leave your mind for the rest of your life.
Ashley: But WCF just closed down, what will you do?
Logan: It's fine honey, Seth told me it will be back, and running before you know it.
Ashley: But wouldn't you have to leave for weeks, and weeks at a time?
Logan: Yeah, but I have to.. in order to keep this life, in order to keep this house.
She frowned a bit, a simple look of sadness from her could break anyone’s heart.
Logan: Don't worry honey, in a few years I'll make it big in WCF, and I'll be good enough to even retire with TONS of money.
She laughed a bit, joking.
Ashley: You? Famous? Haha.
We both laughed, stepping into our new home.. the words hitting me so hard, it hurt.
Logan: Don't worry, honey.
Present
Logan: Yeah.. don't worry.
I shook my head, shaking off the memory as I got out of my truck walking over to the porch where she said she would leave the key. I looked under the mat, and there it was. The SAME key we first got for the house, but why? We had a dozen keys copied, why give me this one? I knew it was the same one. Eh, maybe she was just messing with me in her own way. I walked inside my old house, everything looked the same, and even smelled the same. I inhaled the air into my lungs, I missed being here. It was then that I went into our room, and looked over the bed which was nicely made. When I was around, the bed was hardly ever made. I reached into the closet, grabbing a few suits, and clothes laying them out on the bed. It was then that I remembered my suit case being under the bed. My night bag was kind of full, and besides I didn't just want to crumple up a couple of nice suits. I went to reach under the bed when I see a blue note book hanging out from under the matrices. What's this? I sat down, and opened up to the middle revealing a diary. It was my wife’s, and the date of this entry was October 2nd, 2003. I had never known my wife kept one, I always thought these things were for teenage girls weeping about boys in school. But no, she had been writing in this for years.. I guess she grew a habit to it. I read the entry.
Well, you see, it all started like this. We were out of beer. Logan's sorry ass drank all the beer and didn't replace it before he left. Bastard. He'd gone to go visit some people he knew, Cyrus and Cradle. No big deal, just a quick trip to see old friends. He invited me, too, but I turned him down. So what if his face got that impassive look it sometimes gets when he doesn't want me to see what he's feeling? So what if I didn't go see his friends with him? So what if I felt like shit? I don't have a real good track record with Logan's friends, and besides, playing remember when with strangers isn't exactly my thing. Especially when I can't even remember my own when, much less theirs. So he left. Drank all the beer before he did, too, and didn't even leave me a note. The bastard. And there I was, all alone in the house with nothing to do on a Friday night. Hell, there wasn't even anything on TV, and the only movie out I wanted to see was sold out. The jeep was washed, the house was clean, and I wasn't particularly hungry, so dinner was really out. To top it off, it was gray and cloudy outside, so I couldn't even use my telescope. There wasn't a star in sight. Fitting, wouldn't you say? I don't like it when I'm bored. It happens so rarely that I don't know what to do with myself when it does happen. Damn him anyway, for leaving like that. Irrational as it may sound, I was bored, and he wasn't there, so it was naturally his fault. Naturally.
I closed the book, and felt like I was digging to deep into her life. I do recall the night she wrote about though, me, Cradle, and Cyrus. The good ole boys with a boys night out. We we’re champion drinkers, and good friends. Cyrus with the hardcore title, Cradle with the tag team, and me with the good old WCF world belt. I remembered that night good, and damn I missed those guys. I was still a bit shocked over the way she felt about it, and if I knew then maybe I would’ve stayed home. It was always like this, wrestling getting in the way of things, and I never really thought about it till now. It was wrestling that killed our marriage, not that I didn’t have a hand in it, but it was that bringing us down. I would love to have her on my shoulder too, along with the title. But it didn’t work out that way. Things always have a habit of going wrong, and nothing good is going to last forever.. everyone knows that. I just couldn’t bring myself to actually believing it. So what if I lived for wrestling? So what if that was my destiny? If she loved me enough, she could’ve dealt with it.. plan, and simple. It isn’t my fault. It’s hers. I’ve got to stop kicking myself, it’s not really the best thing to do before a title defense this Sunday. I guess you could say, I had bigger fish to worry about. She knew just how bad the title met to me, and she knew the sacrifices I would make for that title. But what was really going on here? Why leave the same key we first got when we bought the house, and leave it for me.. or why leave that diary hanging out. Did she purposely do it? It raddled question, after question to my brain, and with no answers it gave me a headache. Just as I was digging into my own mind with some crazy theory of her leaving me clues, I heard a car pull into the drive way. I looked out the window, and saw something beautiful. My ex-wife, Ashley. Now this was NO accident, she shouldn’t even be coming home tonight.. well that’s what she told me. Hm, maybe she wanted to get back together? I didn’t know, and I had to find out. I raced out of the room, and to the front door to greet her with a smile.
Ashley: Hey, Logan.
She grinned back. Just to see her smile again made me feel like a new man.
Logan: Nice to see you again, you look..
The awkwardness I spoke of before began to creep back into the room between us. She stared into my eyes, dying for me to actually say something good for once in awhile.
Logan: Beautiful.
Ashley: Uh, thanks.. Logan.
Damn, it was awkward.
Ashley: You find everything okay?
I could tell by the look of her face, and the sound of her voice that maybe she was hinting to me, and seeing if I found her journal.
Logan: Was there something you wanted to show me?
I hinted back, and by now, I could tell she knew I read something from her journal.
Ashley: Yeah, maybe. Maybe I wanted to show you a side of me you never took the time to see before.
Logan: So, there’s something more to you than being a little pretty angel?
I grinned, watching how she took it as she smiled it off. I seen the clock in the background, behind her, and time was starting to catch up on me.
Logan: Well, I have to go soon.
The moment died.
Ashley: Oh, ah.. yes.
Logan: It was good seeing.
Ashley: Sorry it had to be like this, though.
Logan: Ah..
I walked past her, but stopping at her side as she turned her head to mine.
Ashley: Bye, Logan.
I seen that sad look in her eye, and it was calling out for attention. I leaned in as I use to over the last ten years, looking for a soft kiss. Instead, she turned her head, and my lips ended up on her cheek. She was the forbidden fruit to me now, the forbidden fruit I couldn’t taste. I brushed my hand along her cheek, and looked at the angel for one last time.
Logan: Bye.. Ashley..
I left the house with my head down, heading for my truck. It felt like someone twisting a knife in my heart, and I couldn’t pull it out. She watched me leave, tears coming from her eyes.. this was just something between us that could never be fixed, me, and her could never be.. again. I walked past the “For Sale” sign to our old house, and hopped into my truck heading off. I couldn’t let this get to me, but it did. I had things to do tomorrow, not just things.. but I had to defend my WCF title. I had a responsibility to fulfill for myself. I could tell how hungry Reckless Jack was getting, and I couldn’t let him take the title from me. The WCF title was the last thing I had left in my life. It was what I lived for, I wasn’t going to lose my wife, and the WCF title at the same time. Hell no. I was going to give Reckless Jack, Creeping Death, and anyone else a fight for their life if they wanted what was mine. I lived for this championship belt. It was all I had left anymore. I turned down the road, trying to forget about Ashley. I couldn’t help that I was so broke up about it, but she was the one selling our house. If she wanted to sell the house, then fine. But taking away a last kiss isn’t the way to go about it. I hated her. I loved her. Damnit, stop it. I couldn’t go on like this. My mind was torturing me. I needed to do the right thing, I needed to get back into character, and just let this go. I promised myself I wouldn’t let this championship belt go, and damn if that’s going to happen this Sunday. What am I thinking? Really? I left my wife to win this belt, and now I’m getting so caught up in emotions that I’m even having second thoughts of even going on in WCF. Why not? I accomplished more in WCF than anybody ever has. I was the freakin name of that place seven years ago, and today, I still am the name of that place. I couldn’t let this thing with my wife get to me, besides WCF was the only thing keeping me running anymore. If I didn’t have it in my life, then I’d have nothing else. WCF was the only thing left in life that was keeping me motivated. I decided to talk about this, just not to myself.. but to someone I’ve known for quite sometime now. I grabbed my cell phone in one hand, while taking the wheel in the other, and called Seth Lerch.
Seth Lerch: Hey, what’s up Logan.
Logan: Ah, just heading to the WCF arena. You going be there?
Seth Lerch: As long as you don’t show up with any wet spots on your crotch.
I laughed, Seth always had that thing about him of keeping his cool no matter what.
Logan: I can’t help Rage spilling water on me.
Seth Lerch: Haha, yeah.. right.
Logan: But there is something I’ve got to talk to you about.
Seth Lerch: What?
Logan: Now, more than ever I’m just letting you know that WCF is what I’m destined for. I’ll never leave it, it’s my home.. my only home. No matter what happens, inside of WCF, or outside of WCF, I’m always going to be there giving it my best.
Seth Lerch: Well, uh, yeah.. I know this.
Logan: WCF comes first.
Seth Lerch: You shouldn’t drink before a world title match.
Logan: Heh, I’m not drinking.
Seth Lerch: Yeah, sure.
Logan: Hm, nevermind. I’ll see you tomorrow, I hope your ready to whoop that ass treachery style.
Seth Lerch: Haha, as usual. Later.
I hung up, and heading down the road to WCF. The road to my home. My only home. Nothing was going to stop me now, and it was my own damned fate that kept me running with WCF. I’ve never backed out of anything, and hell if I was going to this Sunday. I was going to walk into the PPV as the WCF champion, and walk out as a better WCF champion. I never felt any stronger than this, and I was going to prove exactly that tomorrow.
Logan: Hello?
Ex-Wife: Logan.
Hearing the sound of her beautiful voice brought back memories, good, and bad. Memories I'd only keep to myself.
Logan: Yeah.
I heard a sigh a bit over the telephone.
Ex-Wife: Your coming tonight, right?
Logan: Unfortunately.
Ex-Wife: Heh, well as you know, I'm leaving the key under the door mat.
Logan: Gotcha, I would've liked to see you.
Ex-Wife: Yeah.. me too.
A moment of silence dwelled over the telephone.
Ex-Wife: Well, Logan.. good luck this Sunday.
Logan: Your keeping up with me on the T.V.?
She didn't answer.
Logan: Hm.. thanks. I'll be there in a few hours.
Ex-Wife: Bye.
Click. I hung up the phone, no more "bye, love you" or "bye honey, love you too". No, that life was taken from me just so I could carrying this piece of gold around over my shoulder. I looked over at the WCF title laying beside me which had "Logan" engraved under WCF champion. I'd do anything to have both of that in my life. There was a million of things I wanted to say to my wife, well, er, ex-wife. But it seems when your in the moment to speak, that the awkwardness just makes you choke, and your left speechless. I finally made it to my feet, and threw my WCF title in a overnight bag along with a few outfits. I grabbed my wrestling attire, and packed that in there too. Bringing the bag to my shoulder, I left the hotel heading out to my home in Chesapeake.
A few hours later..
I hadn't said a single word since I spoke to my wife a few hours ago, it was just a straight, silent, lonesome drive from point A to point B. When I arrived to my old house, she wasn't there. I knew she wouldn't be, but that didn't stop me from day dreaming on the way there that when I arrived she'd be smiling, and opening her arms for an embrace like she use to. It wasn't like that anymore, instead I pulled into the driveway of a dark house with a "For Sale" sign sticking out of the front yard. I never wanted this. I cut the truck off, and sat there a few minutes staring at the house. Just thinking back made me smile..
Six years ago..
Ashley: Baby, do you really mean it?
I held her in my arms, right there on the front porch. Her legs wrapped around my waist, embraced with her as I stared into her beautiful blue innocent eyes.
Logan: Yes. We can start our own life now, I've made enough money with WCF that we can afford this life honey. No more living in different hotels every week, it's just me, and you.
Ashley: You promise?
Logan: I promise.
Our lips touched together, for a soft kiss, and not just that.. when of them magical memories that never leave your mind for the rest of your life.
Ashley: But WCF just closed down, what will you do?
Logan: It's fine honey, Seth told me it will be back, and running before you know it.
Ashley: But wouldn't you have to leave for weeks, and weeks at a time?
Logan: Yeah, but I have to.. in order to keep this life, in order to keep this house.
She frowned a bit, a simple look of sadness from her could break anyone’s heart.
Logan: Don't worry honey, in a few years I'll make it big in WCF, and I'll be good enough to even retire with TONS of money.
She laughed a bit, joking.
Ashley: You? Famous? Haha.
We both laughed, stepping into our new home.. the words hitting me so hard, it hurt.
Logan: Don't worry, honey.
Present
Logan: Yeah.. don't worry.
I shook my head, shaking off the memory as I got out of my truck walking over to the porch where she said she would leave the key. I looked under the mat, and there it was. The SAME key we first got for the house, but why? We had a dozen keys copied, why give me this one? I knew it was the same one. Eh, maybe she was just messing with me in her own way. I walked inside my old house, everything looked the same, and even smelled the same. I inhaled the air into my lungs, I missed being here. It was then that I went into our room, and looked over the bed which was nicely made. When I was around, the bed was hardly ever made. I reached into the closet, grabbing a few suits, and clothes laying them out on the bed. It was then that I remembered my suit case being under the bed. My night bag was kind of full, and besides I didn't just want to crumple up a couple of nice suits. I went to reach under the bed when I see a blue note book hanging out from under the matrices. What's this? I sat down, and opened up to the middle revealing a diary. It was my wife’s, and the date of this entry was October 2nd, 2003. I had never known my wife kept one, I always thought these things were for teenage girls weeping about boys in school. But no, she had been writing in this for years.. I guess she grew a habit to it. I read the entry.
Well, you see, it all started like this. We were out of beer. Logan's sorry ass drank all the beer and didn't replace it before he left. Bastard. He'd gone to go visit some people he knew, Cyrus and Cradle. No big deal, just a quick trip to see old friends. He invited me, too, but I turned him down. So what if his face got that impassive look it sometimes gets when he doesn't want me to see what he's feeling? So what if I didn't go see his friends with him? So what if I felt like shit? I don't have a real good track record with Logan's friends, and besides, playing remember when with strangers isn't exactly my thing. Especially when I can't even remember my own when, much less theirs. So he left. Drank all the beer before he did, too, and didn't even leave me a note. The bastard. And there I was, all alone in the house with nothing to do on a Friday night. Hell, there wasn't even anything on TV, and the only movie out I wanted to see was sold out. The jeep was washed, the house was clean, and I wasn't particularly hungry, so dinner was really out. To top it off, it was gray and cloudy outside, so I couldn't even use my telescope. There wasn't a star in sight. Fitting, wouldn't you say? I don't like it when I'm bored. It happens so rarely that I don't know what to do with myself when it does happen. Damn him anyway, for leaving like that. Irrational as it may sound, I was bored, and he wasn't there, so it was naturally his fault. Naturally.
I closed the book, and felt like I was digging to deep into her life. I do recall the night she wrote about though, me, Cradle, and Cyrus. The good ole boys with a boys night out. We we’re champion drinkers, and good friends. Cyrus with the hardcore title, Cradle with the tag team, and me with the good old WCF world belt. I remembered that night good, and damn I missed those guys. I was still a bit shocked over the way she felt about it, and if I knew then maybe I would’ve stayed home. It was always like this, wrestling getting in the way of things, and I never really thought about it till now. It was wrestling that killed our marriage, not that I didn’t have a hand in it, but it was that bringing us down. I would love to have her on my shoulder too, along with the title. But it didn’t work out that way. Things always have a habit of going wrong, and nothing good is going to last forever.. everyone knows that. I just couldn’t bring myself to actually believing it. So what if I lived for wrestling? So what if that was my destiny? If she loved me enough, she could’ve dealt with it.. plan, and simple. It isn’t my fault. It’s hers. I’ve got to stop kicking myself, it’s not really the best thing to do before a title defense this Sunday. I guess you could say, I had bigger fish to worry about. She knew just how bad the title met to me, and she knew the sacrifices I would make for that title. But what was really going on here? Why leave the same key we first got when we bought the house, and leave it for me.. or why leave that diary hanging out. Did she purposely do it? It raddled question, after question to my brain, and with no answers it gave me a headache. Just as I was digging into my own mind with some crazy theory of her leaving me clues, I heard a car pull into the drive way. I looked out the window, and saw something beautiful. My ex-wife, Ashley. Now this was NO accident, she shouldn’t even be coming home tonight.. well that’s what she told me. Hm, maybe she wanted to get back together? I didn’t know, and I had to find out. I raced out of the room, and to the front door to greet her with a smile.
Ashley: Hey, Logan.
She grinned back. Just to see her smile again made me feel like a new man.
Logan: Nice to see you again, you look..
The awkwardness I spoke of before began to creep back into the room between us. She stared into my eyes, dying for me to actually say something good for once in awhile.
Logan: Beautiful.
Ashley: Uh, thanks.. Logan.
Damn, it was awkward.
Ashley: You find everything okay?
I could tell by the look of her face, and the sound of her voice that maybe she was hinting to me, and seeing if I found her journal.
Logan: Was there something you wanted to show me?
I hinted back, and by now, I could tell she knew I read something from her journal.
Ashley: Yeah, maybe. Maybe I wanted to show you a side of me you never took the time to see before.
Logan: So, there’s something more to you than being a little pretty angel?
I grinned, watching how she took it as she smiled it off. I seen the clock in the background, behind her, and time was starting to catch up on me.
Logan: Well, I have to go soon.
The moment died.
Ashley: Oh, ah.. yes.
Logan: It was good seeing.
Ashley: Sorry it had to be like this, though.
Logan: Ah..
I walked past her, but stopping at her side as she turned her head to mine.
Ashley: Bye, Logan.
I seen that sad look in her eye, and it was calling out for attention. I leaned in as I use to over the last ten years, looking for a soft kiss. Instead, she turned her head, and my lips ended up on her cheek. She was the forbidden fruit to me now, the forbidden fruit I couldn’t taste. I brushed my hand along her cheek, and looked at the angel for one last time.
Logan: Bye.. Ashley..
I left the house with my head down, heading for my truck. It felt like someone twisting a knife in my heart, and I couldn’t pull it out. She watched me leave, tears coming from her eyes.. this was just something between us that could never be fixed, me, and her could never be.. again. I walked past the “For Sale” sign to our old house, and hopped into my truck heading off. I couldn’t let this get to me, but it did. I had things to do tomorrow, not just things.. but I had to defend my WCF title. I had a responsibility to fulfill for myself. I could tell how hungry Reckless Jack was getting, and I couldn’t let him take the title from me. The WCF title was the last thing I had left in my life. It was what I lived for, I wasn’t going to lose my wife, and the WCF title at the same time. Hell no. I was going to give Reckless Jack, Creeping Death, and anyone else a fight for their life if they wanted what was mine. I lived for this championship belt. It was all I had left anymore. I turned down the road, trying to forget about Ashley. I couldn’t help that I was so broke up about it, but she was the one selling our house. If she wanted to sell the house, then fine. But taking away a last kiss isn’t the way to go about it. I hated her. I loved her. Damnit, stop it. I couldn’t go on like this. My mind was torturing me. I needed to do the right thing, I needed to get back into character, and just let this go. I promised myself I wouldn’t let this championship belt go, and damn if that’s going to happen this Sunday. What am I thinking? Really? I left my wife to win this belt, and now I’m getting so caught up in emotions that I’m even having second thoughts of even going on in WCF. Why not? I accomplished more in WCF than anybody ever has. I was the freakin name of that place seven years ago, and today, I still am the name of that place. I couldn’t let this thing with my wife get to me, besides WCF was the only thing keeping me running anymore. If I didn’t have it in my life, then I’d have nothing else. WCF was the only thing left in life that was keeping me motivated. I decided to talk about this, just not to myself.. but to someone I’ve known for quite sometime now. I grabbed my cell phone in one hand, while taking the wheel in the other, and called Seth Lerch.
Seth Lerch: Hey, what’s up Logan.
Logan: Ah, just heading to the WCF arena. You going be there?
Seth Lerch: As long as you don’t show up with any wet spots on your crotch.
I laughed, Seth always had that thing about him of keeping his cool no matter what.
Logan: I can’t help Rage spilling water on me.
Seth Lerch: Haha, yeah.. right.
Logan: But there is something I’ve got to talk to you about.
Seth Lerch: What?
Logan: Now, more than ever I’m just letting you know that WCF is what I’m destined for. I’ll never leave it, it’s my home.. my only home. No matter what happens, inside of WCF, or outside of WCF, I’m always going to be there giving it my best.
Seth Lerch: Well, uh, yeah.. I know this.
Logan: WCF comes first.
Seth Lerch: You shouldn’t drink before a world title match.
Logan: Heh, I’m not drinking.
Seth Lerch: Yeah, sure.
Logan: Hm, nevermind. I’ll see you tomorrow, I hope your ready to whoop that ass treachery style.
Seth Lerch: Haha, as usual. Later.
I hung up, and heading down the road to WCF. The road to my home. My only home. Nothing was going to stop me now, and it was my own damned fate that kept me running with WCF. I’ve never backed out of anything, and hell if I was going to this Sunday. I was going to walk into the PPV as the WCF champion, and walk out as a better WCF champion. I never felt any stronger than this, and I was going to prove exactly that tomorrow.
