Post by Lawnmower Jones on Aug 22, 2006 22:47:12 GMT -5
(The scene opens inside of the castle we last left off at. Lawnmower Jones and Lonnie are in the master suite bedroom, which is magnificent. The tall, crystal chandelier hangs low to the ground over the king sized bed covered with icy blue silk sheets. A large plasma screen TV is on the opposite side of the room, facing the bed. On the screen plays a DVD of "The Face of Treachery" himself Logan. It must be a Logan highlight reel, considering Logan is giving the "Connector" to various opponents over and over.)
(A polar bear skin rug (that's right, polar bear) with the head of the animal lays on the shaggy white carpet on the suite floor. On the bear skin rug is Jones' pair of overalls and muddy workboots, obviously putting a mud stain onto the bear's lifeless skin like a fat eight year old puts in his cartoon underpants.)
ZD: Connector! Connector!
(The sound blares throughout the room, obviously in surround sound. Jones and Lonnie are in bed, enjoying the tape. The silk sheets cover Jones' otherwise nude body, and all we see is his bare upper torso. In his hand is a white Panasonic DVD remote, used for the TV. Jones turns his head to the right to the left to Lonnie, looking at her. There is a twinkle in his eyes and magic in the air.)
LJ: Boy, Logan sure was nice giving us this DVD of his ultimate highlight reel as a wedding gift, wasn't he Lonnie? It's sure sad that he's alone now, without Linda. And I know you missed her, too. But time will heal what needs to be healed. [/color]
(Jones stares at Lonnie for a moment, as if she is saying something. Jones shakes his head in disagreement, then stopping to look back at the TV. He speaks as he watches.)
LJ: I disagree, Lonnie. Logan won't go into this match looking slow and distracted. He will dedicate this victory to the wonderful Linda, and restore the glory to the WCF Title.
(A brief pause is made. The silence is broken up by Jones' everlasting sigh.)
LJ: Baby, I can't have a good time! Not with the PPV coming up! I mean, I have to think of as many ways as possible to hurt Nate Nytro's feelings and say that the Team of Treachery will become the most dominate team this world has ever known…
(Another pause. Jones suddenly turns his body towards Lonnie and moves his hand under the sheets. Jones closes his eyes and breathes in.)
LJ: Lonnie, let's quit fussin' and get down to some lovin'! Do you know you smell so damn sexy with your new oil? It just stings the nostrils- in a good way.
(Jones' face turns from smile to shock. The shock quickly leaves and a giggle comes out of Jones.)
LJ: Lonnie, when you touch me there, I purr like a kitten! Purrrr!
(Jones pause for a second. He gives a cheesy grin and turns Logan's video off. With the push of the button, a disco ball slowly comes down from the ceiling. Spotlights go all around the room as the lights go off, green, orange, yellow, pink. Luther Vandross' deep, sexual voice is heard and Jones climbs on top of Lonnie as we zoom out of the room.)
LJ: Do you like it when I stick it in there?
(The scene goes outside of the room, where Eight (wearing the same attire) and Chubbs are outside of the room. They have their ears pressed up against the door, and Jones screaming in a sexual way is heard. He screams like a little girl. The two older gentlemen look at one another, the sturdy, oak door as their background. Eight shows a disgusted yet interested look on his face.)
Eight: I believe he is having intercourse with that lawnmower, Chubbs.
Chubbs: (Turning away to leave) Yes, well, he has more action than us combined, I must say! I hope his penis gets mowed off.
(Eight gives a disgruntled look to Chubbs, but quickly refocuses onto listening to Jones and Lonnie "do it")
LJ: (From in the room) Oh yea! Oh yea! Uh huh! Uh huh! From the Little Rascals! Uh huh! I'm bad! The champ! Bust like a pimple! Uh huh!
(Eight shakes his head and begins walking off camera.)
Eight: How does he keep it up so long?
(The scene fades to black as we hear the pleasurable moans of Jones stick into our minds and play over and over. I hope you have nightmares.)
(A polar bear skin rug (that's right, polar bear) with the head of the animal lays on the shaggy white carpet on the suite floor. On the bear skin rug is Jones' pair of overalls and muddy workboots, obviously putting a mud stain onto the bear's lifeless skin like a fat eight year old puts in his cartoon underpants.)
ZD: Connector! Connector!
(The sound blares throughout the room, obviously in surround sound. Jones and Lonnie are in bed, enjoying the tape. The silk sheets cover Jones' otherwise nude body, and all we see is his bare upper torso. In his hand is a white Panasonic DVD remote, used for the TV. Jones turns his head to the right to the left to Lonnie, looking at her. There is a twinkle in his eyes and magic in the air.)
LJ: Boy, Logan sure was nice giving us this DVD of his ultimate highlight reel as a wedding gift, wasn't he Lonnie? It's sure sad that he's alone now, without Linda. And I know you missed her, too. But time will heal what needs to be healed. [/color]
(Jones stares at Lonnie for a moment, as if she is saying something. Jones shakes his head in disagreement, then stopping to look back at the TV. He speaks as he watches.)
LJ: I disagree, Lonnie. Logan won't go into this match looking slow and distracted. He will dedicate this victory to the wonderful Linda, and restore the glory to the WCF Title.
(A brief pause is made. The silence is broken up by Jones' everlasting sigh.)
LJ: Baby, I can't have a good time! Not with the PPV coming up! I mean, I have to think of as many ways as possible to hurt Nate Nytro's feelings and say that the Team of Treachery will become the most dominate team this world has ever known…
(Another pause. Jones suddenly turns his body towards Lonnie and moves his hand under the sheets. Jones closes his eyes and breathes in.)
LJ: Lonnie, let's quit fussin' and get down to some lovin'! Do you know you smell so damn sexy with your new oil? It just stings the nostrils- in a good way.
(Jones' face turns from smile to shock. The shock quickly leaves and a giggle comes out of Jones.)
LJ: Lonnie, when you touch me there, I purr like a kitten! Purrrr!
(Jones pause for a second. He gives a cheesy grin and turns Logan's video off. With the push of the button, a disco ball slowly comes down from the ceiling. Spotlights go all around the room as the lights go off, green, orange, yellow, pink. Luther Vandross' deep, sexual voice is heard and Jones climbs on top of Lonnie as we zoom out of the room.)
LJ: Do you like it when I stick it in there?
(The scene goes outside of the room, where Eight (wearing the same attire) and Chubbs are outside of the room. They have their ears pressed up against the door, and Jones screaming in a sexual way is heard. He screams like a little girl. The two older gentlemen look at one another, the sturdy, oak door as their background. Eight shows a disgusted yet interested look on his face.)
Eight: I believe he is having intercourse with that lawnmower, Chubbs.
Chubbs: (Turning away to leave) Yes, well, he has more action than us combined, I must say! I hope his penis gets mowed off.
(Eight gives a disgruntled look to Chubbs, but quickly refocuses onto listening to Jones and Lonnie "do it")
LJ: (From in the room) Oh yea! Oh yea! Uh huh! Uh huh! From the Little Rascals! Uh huh! I'm bad! The champ! Bust like a pimple! Uh huh!
(Eight shakes his head and begins walking off camera.)
Eight: How does he keep it up so long?
(The scene fades to black as we hear the pleasurable moans of Jones stick into our minds and play over and over. I hope you have nightmares.)
