Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2006 16:44:58 GMT -5
[Bobby is sitting at the table in his apartment, playing poker with his friends Bolts, Jasper and Zeke. Bobby is drinking a protein shake and eating celery sticks while the other three are drinking beer and eating potato chips.]
Bobby: "This is great, just great. Boy, I love these celery sticks. And this protein shake...ah, protein!"
Bolts: "Bobby, you know the routine. You're in training, so it's very important that you only eat and drink the healthiest foods."
Bobby: "Yeah, yeah, yeah... I gotta tell you, I'm still beat up from that workout this afternoon. Bolts had me bench-pressing 350 pounds!"
Zeke: "350 pounds? You're gonna kill our boy, Bolts!"
Jasper: "No, Zeke, it's good for him. I used to be an athlete before I got into the yo-yo business, so I know what I'm talking about."
Zeke: "What kind of an athlete?"
Jasper: "I played volleyball in high school."
Zeke: "Volleyball? Ha-ha-ha! Hey, Bobby, did you hear that? Volleyball!"
Bobby: "Yeah, that's pretty funny, Zeke. Anyway, I raise $50."
Zeke: "I fold."
Jasper: "I got nothing."
Bolts: "I see your $50 and I raise you $100."
Zeke: "$100? Shit, he's definitely got you beat, Bobby."
Jasper: "Yeah, Bolts never bluffs. He's gotta be holding at least a full house, Bobby."
Bobby: "I don't think he is. I think he's bluffing. I call your raise, Bolts. Now turn 'em over and let's see what you have."
[Bolts turns over two of his cards.]
Bolts: "You got me, Bobby. All I have is this pair of deuces..."
Bobby: "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I told you guys."
[Bolts turns over his other three cards.]
Bolts: "Oh, and there's also these three little aces, but they don't mean anything, right? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
[Bobby slams his fist on the table.]
Bobby: "Damn it...I have two pair, jacks and eight’s."
Jasper: "Oh, Bobby, he got you good."
Zeke: "Yes, sir. He fucked you in the ass on that one, Bobby."
Bobby: "You know, I really don't need this kind of stress. I have a huge match coming up on Sunday!"
Bolts: "Don't worry, Bobby. If you beat Jack you'll be able to make back all of the money that you've lost here tonight."
Bobby: "That's very funny, Bolts. You're a funny man."
Jasper: "Calm down, Bobby. We're just having some fun with you."
Zeke: "Hey, Bobby, do you still have any of that stuff that Creeper sold you?"
Bobby: "Yeah, it's in a shoebox on the shelf in my bedroom closet."
Zeke: "Do you mind?"
Bobby: "No, go ahead. I don't think Bolts would approve of that as part of my training."
[Zeke disappears into Bobby's bedroom as Jasper deals the next hand.]
Bobby: "Raise $75."
Jasper: "I'm out."
Bolts: "I see your $75 and I raise you $200."
Jasper: "Oh, shit!"
Bobby: "Don't worry Jasper, I've got the old man beat this time. Bolts, I call your raise."
[Bobby smiles as he shows his cards.]
Bobby: "That's a king-high straight, gentlemen."
[Bolts shakes his head.]
Jasper: "Way to go, Bobby! You got him!"
Bolts: "Ah, not so fast, boys."
[Bolts turns his cards over to reveal a flush.]
Bobby: "Damn it all to hell! I don't believe this!"
[Bobby spends the next few minutes whining while Bolts and Jasper drink more beer. Zeke emerges from the bedroom, appearing to be in something of a dazed state.]
Zeke: "Oh, man, that shit is good! I'm tripping, man! Tripping!"
[Zeke trips over the couch and falls on his head.]
Jasper: "Zeke! Are you okay?"
[Jasper helps Zeke to his feet as Zeke holds his head.]
Zeke: "Who put that couch there?"
Jasper: "Bolts, we gotta get him to the hospital!"
Bolts: "We can take my van. Bobby, help Jasper with Zeke while I bring the van around to the front of the building."
Jasper: "That must have been some pretty strong stuff that Creeper sold you, Bobby."
Bobby: "What can I say? It was 4:19 and I had a minute."
[Bobby and Jasper each wrap one of Zeke's arms around their neck and help carry him downstairs, where Bolts is waiting with his van.]
Bobby: "This is great, just great. Boy, I love these celery sticks. And this protein shake...ah, protein!"
Bolts: "Bobby, you know the routine. You're in training, so it's very important that you only eat and drink the healthiest foods."
Bobby: "Yeah, yeah, yeah... I gotta tell you, I'm still beat up from that workout this afternoon. Bolts had me bench-pressing 350 pounds!"
Zeke: "350 pounds? You're gonna kill our boy, Bolts!"
Jasper: "No, Zeke, it's good for him. I used to be an athlete before I got into the yo-yo business, so I know what I'm talking about."
Zeke: "What kind of an athlete?"
Jasper: "I played volleyball in high school."
Zeke: "Volleyball? Ha-ha-ha! Hey, Bobby, did you hear that? Volleyball!"
Bobby: "Yeah, that's pretty funny, Zeke. Anyway, I raise $50."
Zeke: "I fold."
Jasper: "I got nothing."
Bolts: "I see your $50 and I raise you $100."
Zeke: "$100? Shit, he's definitely got you beat, Bobby."
Jasper: "Yeah, Bolts never bluffs. He's gotta be holding at least a full house, Bobby."
Bobby: "I don't think he is. I think he's bluffing. I call your raise, Bolts. Now turn 'em over and let's see what you have."
[Bolts turns over two of his cards.]
Bolts: "You got me, Bobby. All I have is this pair of deuces..."
Bobby: "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I told you guys."
[Bolts turns over his other three cards.]
Bolts: "Oh, and there's also these three little aces, but they don't mean anything, right? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
[Bobby slams his fist on the table.]
Bobby: "Damn it...I have two pair, jacks and eight’s."
Jasper: "Oh, Bobby, he got you good."
Zeke: "Yes, sir. He fucked you in the ass on that one, Bobby."
Bobby: "You know, I really don't need this kind of stress. I have a huge match coming up on Sunday!"
Bolts: "Don't worry, Bobby. If you beat Jack you'll be able to make back all of the money that you've lost here tonight."
Bobby: "That's very funny, Bolts. You're a funny man."
Jasper: "Calm down, Bobby. We're just having some fun with you."
Zeke: "Hey, Bobby, do you still have any of that stuff that Creeper sold you?"
Bobby: "Yeah, it's in a shoebox on the shelf in my bedroom closet."
Zeke: "Do you mind?"
Bobby: "No, go ahead. I don't think Bolts would approve of that as part of my training."
[Zeke disappears into Bobby's bedroom as Jasper deals the next hand.]
Bobby: "Raise $75."
Jasper: "I'm out."
Bolts: "I see your $75 and I raise you $200."
Jasper: "Oh, shit!"
Bobby: "Don't worry Jasper, I've got the old man beat this time. Bolts, I call your raise."
[Bobby smiles as he shows his cards.]
Bobby: "That's a king-high straight, gentlemen."
[Bolts shakes his head.]
Jasper: "Way to go, Bobby! You got him!"
Bolts: "Ah, not so fast, boys."
[Bolts turns his cards over to reveal a flush.]
Bobby: "Damn it all to hell! I don't believe this!"
[Bobby spends the next few minutes whining while Bolts and Jasper drink more beer. Zeke emerges from the bedroom, appearing to be in something of a dazed state.]
Zeke: "Oh, man, that shit is good! I'm tripping, man! Tripping!"
[Zeke trips over the couch and falls on his head.]
Jasper: "Zeke! Are you okay?"
[Jasper helps Zeke to his feet as Zeke holds his head.]
Zeke: "Who put that couch there?"
Jasper: "Bolts, we gotta get him to the hospital!"
Bolts: "We can take my van. Bobby, help Jasper with Zeke while I bring the van around to the front of the building."
Jasper: "That must have been some pretty strong stuff that Creeper sold you, Bobby."
Bobby: "What can I say? It was 4:19 and I had a minute."
[Bobby and Jasper each wrap one of Zeke's arms around their neck and help carry him downstairs, where Bolts is waiting with his van.]