Post by Lawnmower Jones on Jul 2, 2006 17:22:29 GMT -5
The scene opens inside of a dimmed shed, the kind you would find a janitor in or that holds useless crap in someone's backyard. In the middle of the room is a brown circular table with over 10 empty bottles of Budweiser. Around the room are worktables with tool belts and pieces of wood.
On one side of a table is a lawnmower, perfectly still. It has a pair of workgloves hanging off of the top, just dangling. Suddenly a loud "SLAM" is heard, and into the scene comes Lawnmower Jones, the newest member of the WCF. He has on his usual attire of blue overalls and a white wife beater. In one hand he is holding two beers by the neck, and in the other a spinning rack of poker chips. He sets the beers down and puts one in front of the lawnmower, and the other in front of him. He begins to sort out the chips, giving some to his lawnmower and some to him.
LJ: So I found out who I face this week, Lonnie. I bet it will be a hellacious match, yep. I face three other men, one by the name of Twister, another by Chino, and Beyond.
Lonnie (his lawnmower) just sits across the table, not moving. An irritated look comes across Jones' face.
LJ: Well you could at least say something. I mean, it's not every day somebody says they get to fight on the tube, now is it? I mean, I clean you, change your oil, prime you, use you, and cover you up when it's raining, hell, I even introduced you to Logan last night. All this I do, and all that I ask for is a little support in my time of need, and do you give me it? No!
Jones begins to deal out cards. He looks at his hand, which shows pocket Kings. He looks up at Lonnie, trying to be conspicuous, but to no avail. His face is shining with a grin.
LJ: Yep, you won't be able to beat this hand. I'm just going to bet forty chips. You feel the need?
Jones puts in eight red chips. The camera cuts to Lonnie, who is still sitting blankly.
LJ: Alright it's your chips. You're taking a gamble like my opponents when I face them come Slam. Their gonna wish they went to church instead of the arena! Ha ha!
Jones takes a swig of beer before laying out the flop. The flop reads king, ace, seven, all of black spades. Jones looks down to reassure his hand. He still has two Kings, one diamond, one heart.
LJ: Well, I think that flop killed ya, darling. But if you would like to see anything else, you're gonna have to pay a hundred!
Jones puts in twenty reds this time. He leans in his chair, and takes another huge swig. Lonnie just sits there, blank expression.
LJ: It's your money.
Jones puts another card down, this time exposing an Ace of diamonds. Jones' attitude seems shaken. He looks over the cards, and up at Lonnie, who hasn't moved.
LJ: That's a brilliant poker face, Lonnie. When I get enough money, I oughta enter ya into the Series. But I think I know what you have.
Jones reaches for chips. Before he puts them into the pot, he pulls them back. He gives a quizzical look to Lonnie, and breathes in deeply. Suddenly, he exhales huge and throws his chips down and his head onto the table.
LJ: OK. I got it.
Jones straightens himself out and reaches for the chips. But before putting them in, he looks at Lonnie. She is still blank. Jones throws the chips and flips the table, exploding with rage.
LJ: Come on! That's not fair, your cheatin!
The table pushes Lonnie back, who is about to hit a wall.
LJ: Lonnie!
The scene cuts.
The scene comes back in with the lights dimmed down and Jones laying next to Lonnie. She has a blue tarp over most of her, and he is rubbing the handle.
LJ: You know I'm sorry. I wish I could make it up to you, but sometimes I just get so violent. I promise it will stop once I take my aggresion out on the 3 yellow bellies I fight on Sunday. I promise. But in the meantime, I think I can fix our problems.
Jones is looking over at Lonnie with an eager smile.
LJ: Come on, ya know you want to! Shh, beaut, it will all be better.
Jones stands up and picks something up. They are bagpipes, and he begins playing them. He is moving around Lonnie. After a few minutes he stops.
LJ: I gotta go clean my pipes!
The scene fades to black.
On one side of a table is a lawnmower, perfectly still. It has a pair of workgloves hanging off of the top, just dangling. Suddenly a loud "SLAM" is heard, and into the scene comes Lawnmower Jones, the newest member of the WCF. He has on his usual attire of blue overalls and a white wife beater. In one hand he is holding two beers by the neck, and in the other a spinning rack of poker chips. He sets the beers down and puts one in front of the lawnmower, and the other in front of him. He begins to sort out the chips, giving some to his lawnmower and some to him.
LJ: So I found out who I face this week, Lonnie. I bet it will be a hellacious match, yep. I face three other men, one by the name of Twister, another by Chino, and Beyond.
Lonnie (his lawnmower) just sits across the table, not moving. An irritated look comes across Jones' face.
LJ: Well you could at least say something. I mean, it's not every day somebody says they get to fight on the tube, now is it? I mean, I clean you, change your oil, prime you, use you, and cover you up when it's raining, hell, I even introduced you to Logan last night. All this I do, and all that I ask for is a little support in my time of need, and do you give me it? No!
Jones begins to deal out cards. He looks at his hand, which shows pocket Kings. He looks up at Lonnie, trying to be conspicuous, but to no avail. His face is shining with a grin.
LJ: Yep, you won't be able to beat this hand. I'm just going to bet forty chips. You feel the need?
Jones puts in eight red chips. The camera cuts to Lonnie, who is still sitting blankly.
LJ: Alright it's your chips. You're taking a gamble like my opponents when I face them come Slam. Their gonna wish they went to church instead of the arena! Ha ha!
Jones takes a swig of beer before laying out the flop. The flop reads king, ace, seven, all of black spades. Jones looks down to reassure his hand. He still has two Kings, one diamond, one heart.
LJ: Well, I think that flop killed ya, darling. But if you would like to see anything else, you're gonna have to pay a hundred!
Jones puts in twenty reds this time. He leans in his chair, and takes another huge swig. Lonnie just sits there, blank expression.
LJ: It's your money.
Jones puts another card down, this time exposing an Ace of diamonds. Jones' attitude seems shaken. He looks over the cards, and up at Lonnie, who hasn't moved.
LJ: That's a brilliant poker face, Lonnie. When I get enough money, I oughta enter ya into the Series. But I think I know what you have.
Jones reaches for chips. Before he puts them into the pot, he pulls them back. He gives a quizzical look to Lonnie, and breathes in deeply. Suddenly, he exhales huge and throws his chips down and his head onto the table.
LJ: OK. I got it.
Jones straightens himself out and reaches for the chips. But before putting them in, he looks at Lonnie. She is still blank. Jones throws the chips and flips the table, exploding with rage.
LJ: Come on! That's not fair, your cheatin!
The table pushes Lonnie back, who is about to hit a wall.
LJ: Lonnie!
The scene cuts.
The scene comes back in with the lights dimmed down and Jones laying next to Lonnie. She has a blue tarp over most of her, and he is rubbing the handle.
LJ: You know I'm sorry. I wish I could make it up to you, but sometimes I just get so violent. I promise it will stop once I take my aggresion out on the 3 yellow bellies I fight on Sunday. I promise. But in the meantime, I think I can fix our problems.
Jones is looking over at Lonnie with an eager smile.
LJ: Come on, ya know you want to! Shh, beaut, it will all be better.
Jones stands up and picks something up. They are bagpipes, and he begins playing them. He is moving around Lonnie. After a few minutes he stops.
LJ: I gotta go clean my pipes!
The scene fades to black.
