Post by Jack of Blades on Mar 23, 2006 18:23:33 GMT -5
The scene opens on Jack of Blades playing solitaire in his locker room. He is extrodinarily close to finishing his game when Hank Brown enters with a microphone.
Hank Brown: Uh, Jack? We've got an interview, I don't want to distract you from your game but the higher-ups have asked for it.
Jack of Blades continues with his game unflinching.
Hank Brown: I mean I can come back later, if you want, but I'd prefer it if we could do it now.
Still no response. Jack puts the last few cards into places finishing his game but after its completion he looks somewhat disappointed as if wanting more.
Hank Brown: Something wrong Jack?
Jack of Blades: Well, yes. When I finish solitaire on my computer the cards start to jump out and envelop the screen. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to do it manually.
In a swift movement, he knocks all of the cards into the air and breaks into his signature laugh. Hank Brown, somewhat nervous, goes to make an attempt at communication and clutches his shoulder as if to break his interviewee out of his trance-like state. With this contact, Jack of Blades immediately regains his composure, stops laughing, and stares at Hank Brown.
Jack of Blades: Would you like to play a game, Hank?
Hank Brown: I'd prefer to get on with the inter...what sort of game?
Jack of Blades: Ah, good man. Have you ever seen 'The Deer Hunter?'
Hank Brown: Uh, yes.
Jack of Blades: So you'll be familiar with the 'Russian Roulette' scene. It's good to have some pragmatic understanding, is it not? Anyway, I play a bastardized version known as 'Highest Draw Russian Roulette Brain-Splatter Challenge.'
Hank Brown: Ok, well, uh, russian roulette is like, well it's not exactly socially accepted, as a past time, I mean. And anyway don't you need a gun of some...
At this point, Jack pulls out a six-chamber revolver from his bag and places it in between Hank and himself.
Hank Brown: Holy Hell! Where...how...who...where did you get that from?
Jack of Blades: Walmart. Ah yes, Janine was really useful. She helped me pick out the type and everything. Truly deserving of her two stars.
Hank goes to leave but is stopped by Jack releasing the safety.
Jack of Blades: Hey Flash! Do you really think your quick enough to reach the door while I fire all six chambers? No? Well, sit your lethargic ass down. Firstly, each of us will pick one card each turn or round, that's assuming we both last the initial go. The player with the lowest value card will have to point the gun at themselves and fire. This will continue until one of us ends up with more lead in their head than a pencil. Let the sin begin.
Hank goes first and randomly selects a card. It's the nine of clubs. He's completely and utterly shocked at the scenario he has gotten himself involved in. Jack goes next, his card is the king of spades. Jack passes him the gun and Hank lets out a little squeal. He raises it to his temple before turning it on Jack and pulling the trigger. All that happens is a small click.
Jack of Blades: As always Hank, your actions epitomise anti-climax. Go again.
They draw again. Jack has the eight of hearts whereas Brown has the two of spades. He lets out another yelp and picks up the revolver once more. He tentively places it around his skull in numerous awkward positions.
Jack of Blades: It's ok you can stick it in your mouth.
He does so and pulls the trigger after a lengthy pause. Another click and a sigh of relief. They draw once more, Hank gets the four of hearts and Jack receives the four of diamonds. Hank lets out a satisfied sigh under the belief that neither will have to shoot.
Jack of Blades: A draw! Then we'll both have to go.
Jack of Blades brings the gun into his mouth and immediately pulls the trigger. Nothing but a click. He lets the gun linger in his mouth
Jack of Blades: Tastes like strawberries.
Jack throws the gun to Hank who places it to his temple and while simultaneously gulping, he fires. Another click. They draw once again after this. Hank draws first but after seeing the card he pulls it close to his body. Jack draws his and looks satisifed with himself.
Jack of Blades: Ah, the Queen of Hearts. How ironic, didn't that used to be your nickname at high school?
Jack of Blades goes to give the interviewer the gun until Hank stops him revealing that he has the Ace of Spades. Jack, remaining calm but still looking frustrated, pulls the gun up and releases the trigger. Click. They draw again. Hank gets the two of diamonds whereas Jack draws the Jack of Hearts. The latter throws the gun to Hank revelling in his victory. Hank stops realising that it is the last chamber and by process of elimination, the loaded one. He gulps rapidly. Jack breaks into a smile.
Jack of Blades: Don't worry. I realise that you wanted no part of this and it would be unfair for me to make you go through with it. You had no freedom of choice. It was like God forcing an ant to a race. No don't worry.
Hank Brown lets out a huge sigh of relief and even begins to chuckle at this expression of sadism. It's all just a joke. Jack also breaks into laughter before abruptly stopping
Jack of Blades: I'll pull the trigger instead.
Jack snatches the revolver off Hank and aims it at his head. He waits for a pause of ten second while Hank whimpers at his fate. And then Jack fires and out pops a banner saying the word 'BLAST' in comic lettering. Hank collapses out of his chair while Jack bursts into laughter again. The camera zooms in on the 'BLAST' banner providing the vignette's final shot.
Hank Brown: Uh, Jack? We've got an interview, I don't want to distract you from your game but the higher-ups have asked for it.
Jack of Blades continues with his game unflinching.
Hank Brown: I mean I can come back later, if you want, but I'd prefer it if we could do it now.
Still no response. Jack puts the last few cards into places finishing his game but after its completion he looks somewhat disappointed as if wanting more.
Hank Brown: Something wrong Jack?
Jack of Blades: Well, yes. When I finish solitaire on my computer the cards start to jump out and envelop the screen. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to do it manually.
In a swift movement, he knocks all of the cards into the air and breaks into his signature laugh. Hank Brown, somewhat nervous, goes to make an attempt at communication and clutches his shoulder as if to break his interviewee out of his trance-like state. With this contact, Jack of Blades immediately regains his composure, stops laughing, and stares at Hank Brown.
Jack of Blades: Would you like to play a game, Hank?
Hank Brown: I'd prefer to get on with the inter...what sort of game?
Jack of Blades: Ah, good man. Have you ever seen 'The Deer Hunter?'
Hank Brown: Uh, yes.
Jack of Blades: So you'll be familiar with the 'Russian Roulette' scene. It's good to have some pragmatic understanding, is it not? Anyway, I play a bastardized version known as 'Highest Draw Russian Roulette Brain-Splatter Challenge.'
Hank Brown: Ok, well, uh, russian roulette is like, well it's not exactly socially accepted, as a past time, I mean. And anyway don't you need a gun of some...
At this point, Jack pulls out a six-chamber revolver from his bag and places it in between Hank and himself.
Hank Brown: Holy Hell! Where...how...who...where did you get that from?
Jack of Blades: Walmart. Ah yes, Janine was really useful. She helped me pick out the type and everything. Truly deserving of her two stars.
Hank goes to leave but is stopped by Jack releasing the safety.
Jack of Blades: Hey Flash! Do you really think your quick enough to reach the door while I fire all six chambers? No? Well, sit your lethargic ass down. Firstly, each of us will pick one card each turn or round, that's assuming we both last the initial go. The player with the lowest value card will have to point the gun at themselves and fire. This will continue until one of us ends up with more lead in their head than a pencil. Let the sin begin.
Hank goes first and randomly selects a card. It's the nine of clubs. He's completely and utterly shocked at the scenario he has gotten himself involved in. Jack goes next, his card is the king of spades. Jack passes him the gun and Hank lets out a little squeal. He raises it to his temple before turning it on Jack and pulling the trigger. All that happens is a small click.
Jack of Blades: As always Hank, your actions epitomise anti-climax. Go again.
They draw again. Jack has the eight of hearts whereas Brown has the two of spades. He lets out another yelp and picks up the revolver once more. He tentively places it around his skull in numerous awkward positions.
Jack of Blades: It's ok you can stick it in your mouth.
He does so and pulls the trigger after a lengthy pause. Another click and a sigh of relief. They draw once more, Hank gets the four of hearts and Jack receives the four of diamonds. Hank lets out a satisfied sigh under the belief that neither will have to shoot.
Jack of Blades: A draw! Then we'll both have to go.
Jack of Blades brings the gun into his mouth and immediately pulls the trigger. Nothing but a click. He lets the gun linger in his mouth
Jack of Blades: Tastes like strawberries.
Jack throws the gun to Hank who places it to his temple and while simultaneously gulping, he fires. Another click. They draw once again after this. Hank draws first but after seeing the card he pulls it close to his body. Jack draws his and looks satisifed with himself.
Jack of Blades: Ah, the Queen of Hearts. How ironic, didn't that used to be your nickname at high school?
Jack of Blades goes to give the interviewer the gun until Hank stops him revealing that he has the Ace of Spades. Jack, remaining calm but still looking frustrated, pulls the gun up and releases the trigger. Click. They draw again. Hank gets the two of diamonds whereas Jack draws the Jack of Hearts. The latter throws the gun to Hank revelling in his victory. Hank stops realising that it is the last chamber and by process of elimination, the loaded one. He gulps rapidly. Jack breaks into a smile.
Jack of Blades: Don't worry. I realise that you wanted no part of this and it would be unfair for me to make you go through with it. You had no freedom of choice. It was like God forcing an ant to a race. No don't worry.
Hank Brown lets out a huge sigh of relief and even begins to chuckle at this expression of sadism. It's all just a joke. Jack also breaks into laughter before abruptly stopping
Jack of Blades: I'll pull the trigger instead.
Jack snatches the revolver off Hank and aims it at his head. He waits for a pause of ten second while Hank whimpers at his fate. And then Jack fires and out pops a banner saying the word 'BLAST' in comic lettering. Hank collapses out of his chair while Jack bursts into laughter again. The camera zooms in on the 'BLAST' banner providing the vignette's final shot.
