Post by Jack of Blades on Mar 21, 2006 19:26:30 GMT -5
(Hank Brown is standing on his own-some gently thumbing his microphone either showing signs of nervousness or impatience. Jack of Blades emerges from the background with an expression of bemusement. It is obvious that there is some sort of internal fusion of ideas within his head but the ever-present smile adorning his face shrouds his true intentions. He stops at Brown who offers the microphone as a way of avoiding confrontation rather then fulfilling his job.)
Thank you, Hank. There's no need to fear, Jack of Blades always offers pleasantries such as 'thank you', and 'please' and 'look at those...they're massive.' As my mother always said, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar." Of course, she didn't advocate that practice, I mean I only covered my sister in two jars worth and then they're were more ants than flies so in fact I was in the right.
(Jack of Blades continues to mumble as if he is calculating the ramifications of his actions, he ends with a subtle laugh that is very low in inflection. A private joke. His enjoyment is spoiled by Hank coughing for attention.)
Speaking of honey, it sounds like you have a bad cough coming on, maybe you should have some with lemon for lubrication purposes. Really Hanky, you should stop putting dirty things that far in your mouth, it's just unhygienic.
Of course, you could have been coughing to encourage me to break off my fanciful flashback and continue with this interlocution. And of course, if you coughed for that purpose, then I would have to force feed you peptobismol until you actually turned pink. I know, I know, you'd enjoy that aesthetic change but I'd have to go to the chemist and get the industrial size..., it's just not worth it.
Either way, it is obvious you want this debacle to proceed and considering the fact you are as articulate as a baked potato, I will have to continue this interview with you relegated to the position of backchannelling, so Hanky, just grunt at certain points. And don't do those grunts you did when you locked yourself in the toilets with a copy of 'Fishing Bureau.' Just grunt in agreement.
Now some of the more astute fans may think me hypocritical. I mean in our last intimate discussion I lambasted those in the locker room who would recall their days back on the ranch where they would roam free and have a mane of golden locks trailing them behind. Well, guess what? "I'm a little box of contradictions." You see it seems the anecdotal approach that my peers have adopted is working. On the card for Blast there is an anorexic, a political dissidant, a quatet of traitors, and a partridge in a peartree. But no Jack? Looks like I'm going to have to follow the crowd on this one.
(Jack of Blades looks at Hank Brown and mimes the word 'GRUNT' to him. Hank does so somewhat reluctantly.)
So see you next time when I'll be retelling my fateful prom night when due to a clever stratagem involving an icepick, a discoball, a hostaged member of the A/V club and the names of numerous dead people and animals, I became both Prom King and... Prom Queen.
(Jack throws the microphone in the air and exits offstage to the left leaving Hank to catch the microphone and remain on air for a few seconds staring intently at it before bringing it closer to his mouth. Jack, still offstage
Don't you dare, you sick bastard.
Thank you, Hank. There's no need to fear, Jack of Blades always offers pleasantries such as 'thank you', and 'please' and 'look at those...they're massive.' As my mother always said, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar." Of course, she didn't advocate that practice, I mean I only covered my sister in two jars worth and then they're were more ants than flies so in fact I was in the right.
(Jack of Blades continues to mumble as if he is calculating the ramifications of his actions, he ends with a subtle laugh that is very low in inflection. A private joke. His enjoyment is spoiled by Hank coughing for attention.)
Speaking of honey, it sounds like you have a bad cough coming on, maybe you should have some with lemon for lubrication purposes. Really Hanky, you should stop putting dirty things that far in your mouth, it's just unhygienic.
Of course, you could have been coughing to encourage me to break off my fanciful flashback and continue with this interlocution. And of course, if you coughed for that purpose, then I would have to force feed you peptobismol until you actually turned pink. I know, I know, you'd enjoy that aesthetic change but I'd have to go to the chemist and get the industrial size..., it's just not worth it.
Either way, it is obvious you want this debacle to proceed and considering the fact you are as articulate as a baked potato, I will have to continue this interview with you relegated to the position of backchannelling, so Hanky, just grunt at certain points. And don't do those grunts you did when you locked yourself in the toilets with a copy of 'Fishing Bureau.' Just grunt in agreement.
Now some of the more astute fans may think me hypocritical. I mean in our last intimate discussion I lambasted those in the locker room who would recall their days back on the ranch where they would roam free and have a mane of golden locks trailing them behind. Well, guess what? "I'm a little box of contradictions." You see it seems the anecdotal approach that my peers have adopted is working. On the card for Blast there is an anorexic, a political dissidant, a quatet of traitors, and a partridge in a peartree. But no Jack? Looks like I'm going to have to follow the crowd on this one.
(Jack of Blades looks at Hank Brown and mimes the word 'GRUNT' to him. Hank does so somewhat reluctantly.)
So see you next time when I'll be retelling my fateful prom night when due to a clever stratagem involving an icepick, a discoball, a hostaged member of the A/V club and the names of numerous dead people and animals, I became both Prom King and... Prom Queen.
(Jack throws the microphone in the air and exits offstage to the left leaving Hank to catch the microphone and remain on air for a few seconds staring intently at it before bringing it closer to his mouth. Jack, still offstage
Don't you dare, you sick bastard.
