Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2006 5:21:45 GMT -5
(Zeke's Bar is filled with patrons on this chilly winter evening. Some of them are playing pool, some are watching TV and still others are drunkenly singing along to an AC/DC tune on the jukebox. Bobby Cairo enters the bar and orders a screwdriver and a beer. After downing both drinks, Bobby walks over to the dartboard. He tapes a picture of Creeper's head to the board. Bobby's first throw nails Creeper right between the eyes. His next two throws hit Creeper's nose and mouth. Zeke, the owner of the bar and a longtime friend of Bobby, notices Bobby and walks over to him.)
Zeke: "Hey, Bobby. How are you doing, man?"
Bobby: "I'm doing great, Zeke. How are you?"
Zeke: "I'm pretty good. You're playing darts I see. Who's that dude on the board?"
Bobby: "That's the little punkass bitch that I'm wrestling this week. His name is Creeper and he sucks."
Zeke: "I'm sensing some hostility."
Bobby: "Normally I don't get this worked up going into a match, but this guy is just a joke. He doesn't even belong in the World Title tournament. He hasn't beaten anyone and he acts like a total moron. He's a poor man's RVD. A really poor man's RVD, like some broke dude's RVD."
Zeke: "Maybe you should have a drink, man. You seem pretty upset."
Bobby: "Yeah, I already had a couple, but a few more couldn't hurt."
(Bobby walks over to the counter and sits down. He drinks two more screwdrivers, five beers, two rum and cokes, a gin and tonic and four shots of Jack Daniels. After stumbling off to the rest room, Bobby returns to the dartboard. His first throw gets stuck in the wall, five feet to the left of the board. His second throw knocks a drink off of a table and sends it crashing to the floor. Bobby's third throw strikes a rather large gentleman in his right arm. This guy is 6'4", 320 lbs. of solid muscle, shaved head, tattoos all over his arms. The guy walks over to Bobby and grabs him by the collar of his shirt.)
Big Angry Tattooed Guy: "Did you just throw a dart at me, motherfucker! I'll kill you, you piece of shit!"
Bobby: "What are you talking about, man? Get off of me!"
(The guy lifts Bobby up by his neck and slams him through one of the tables. Zeke runs over to check on Bobby.)
Zeke: "Bobby's hurt, somebody call an ambulance!"
(Suddenly, Bobby sits up and brushes the dirt and dust off of his clothes.)
Bobby: "Don't be silly, Zeke. I'm perfectly fine. I just have to kick this guy's ass."
(Bobby stands up. The guy charges at Bobby, so Bobby steps out of his way and the guy goes crashing into the wall, headfirst. Bobby pulls the guy to his feet and delivers a crushing Brainbuster right onto the floor, then locks the guy in the No Way Out. The guy is screaming in pain as Bobby increases the pressure.)
Zeke: "Let him go, Bobby! It's over. You won. Just let him go!"
(Bobby releases the hold and quickly springs to his feet.)
Bobby: "I'm sorry, Zeke, but the guy left me with no other option."
Zeke: "Don't worry about it. He'll sleep it off and be right as rain in the morning."
Bobby: "Well, I hate to smash up your place and run, but I really got to get home in time for the Twilight Zone marathon on Sci Fi Channel."
Zeke: "Don't worry about it, man. I got this under control."
Bobby: "Catch ya later, dude."
Zeke: "See ya."
(Bobby leaves and Zeke starts sweeping up the mess.)
Zeke: "Hey, Bobby. How are you doing, man?"
Bobby: "I'm doing great, Zeke. How are you?"
Zeke: "I'm pretty good. You're playing darts I see. Who's that dude on the board?"
Bobby: "That's the little punkass bitch that I'm wrestling this week. His name is Creeper and he sucks."
Zeke: "I'm sensing some hostility."
Bobby: "Normally I don't get this worked up going into a match, but this guy is just a joke. He doesn't even belong in the World Title tournament. He hasn't beaten anyone and he acts like a total moron. He's a poor man's RVD. A really poor man's RVD, like some broke dude's RVD."
Zeke: "Maybe you should have a drink, man. You seem pretty upset."
Bobby: "Yeah, I already had a couple, but a few more couldn't hurt."
(Bobby walks over to the counter and sits down. He drinks two more screwdrivers, five beers, two rum and cokes, a gin and tonic and four shots of Jack Daniels. After stumbling off to the rest room, Bobby returns to the dartboard. His first throw gets stuck in the wall, five feet to the left of the board. His second throw knocks a drink off of a table and sends it crashing to the floor. Bobby's third throw strikes a rather large gentleman in his right arm. This guy is 6'4", 320 lbs. of solid muscle, shaved head, tattoos all over his arms. The guy walks over to Bobby and grabs him by the collar of his shirt.)
Big Angry Tattooed Guy: "Did you just throw a dart at me, motherfucker! I'll kill you, you piece of shit!"
Bobby: "What are you talking about, man? Get off of me!"
(The guy lifts Bobby up by his neck and slams him through one of the tables. Zeke runs over to check on Bobby.)
Zeke: "Bobby's hurt, somebody call an ambulance!"
(Suddenly, Bobby sits up and brushes the dirt and dust off of his clothes.)
Bobby: "Don't be silly, Zeke. I'm perfectly fine. I just have to kick this guy's ass."
(Bobby stands up. The guy charges at Bobby, so Bobby steps out of his way and the guy goes crashing into the wall, headfirst. Bobby pulls the guy to his feet and delivers a crushing Brainbuster right onto the floor, then locks the guy in the No Way Out. The guy is screaming in pain as Bobby increases the pressure.)
Zeke: "Let him go, Bobby! It's over. You won. Just let him go!"
(Bobby releases the hold and quickly springs to his feet.)
Bobby: "I'm sorry, Zeke, but the guy left me with no other option."
Zeke: "Don't worry about it. He'll sleep it off and be right as rain in the morning."
Bobby: "Well, I hate to smash up your place and run, but I really got to get home in time for the Twilight Zone marathon on Sci Fi Channel."
Zeke: "Don't worry about it, man. I got this under control."
Bobby: "Catch ya later, dude."
Zeke: "See ya."
(Bobby leaves and Zeke starts sweeping up the mess.)