|
|
Post by Jake Keeton on Feb 11, 2010 11:43:05 GMT -5
Posted my first RP for WCF last night so i figured I'd toss up a thread for the good and the bad feedback on all my stuff from here on. Lemme know what you think.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jake Keeton on Feb 17, 2010 21:52:51 GMT -5
Please? New one is up.
|
|
|
|
Post by Seth on Feb 17, 2010 23:07:28 GMT -5
Here is what I'd say, after reading Tough Love:
The content part of the RP is good, no doubt. Buuutt..
For the first part, the part thats just Keeton's thoughts, I think it would be better to give them a context. This isn't just you, but a lot of other guys too. Maybe a little something saying its from Keeton's personal blog, or journal, or anything.
Thats about it though! Like I said, the content was good, which is really the important thing.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jake Keeton on Mar 3, 2010 11:34:58 GMT -5
Didn't ask the last couple weeks but I'm really happy with new one called "Hometown Hero" and it's a bit of a different style where I tried to mix the promo and the story so I figured I'd ask for some feedback.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ace Garrison on Mar 3, 2010 14:37:03 GMT -5
I'm not always real good with feedback, but I liked it. Your story was OK, but with Slam being in Kentucky, it was fitting. The way you moved from the story to the trash talk was nicely done. And as for the trash talk itself, it was good.
Overall, I liked it. I like how Keeton is who he is, regardless of in the ring or out of it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Steve Catt on Mar 4, 2010 8:02:51 GMT -5
I like the attention paid to the dialogue. It fits in with the character and the world. Sometimes I kind of forget about who the character is and I'm just reading words, but with your RPs I can really imagine Russell Crowe Gerard Butler Jake Keeton saying these things.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jake Keeton on Mar 4, 2010 9:20:36 GMT -5
I like the attention paid to the dialogue. It fits in with the character and the world. Sometimes I kind of forget about who the character is and I'm just reading words, but with your RPs I can really imagine Russell Crowe Gerard Butler Jake Keeton saying these things. Thanks, that's one thing I've always tried to focus on. I want my characters to talk like real people talk and not sound stiff and robot. When I write I get an idea in my head as to how the character should sound and I hear their words as I write them. |
|
|
|
Post by Allen Guiliano on Mar 4, 2010 9:23:42 GMT -5
I really liked the RP and as I have said before, I think you are an up and coming star in this federation. Only thing I can say in terms of improvement is that you might want to add some color to differentiate the dialogue between characters and the setting. Would just make it easier to read, for me anyway. Other than that, excellent work.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jake Keeton on Mar 4, 2010 21:42:55 GMT -5
Thanks for the feedback guys. I'll try to add color next time but I ran out of time.
New one is up if you all have anything else to offer, it's a bit different style once again but I gotta say I feel better about what Im doing right now than anything in the last two years.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2010 21:48:19 GMT -5
Very nice grasshopper, very nice indeed.
Seriously though I like what I've been seeing out of you so far and I feel as though soon enough you'll be moving up to big things here.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jake Keeton on Mar 19, 2010 19:51:18 GMT -5
The story is getting a bit more involved now, thoughts?
I added color but my god that was tedious, that took almost as long as writing the RP did. Didn't know you had to close all those tags.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2010 4:40:10 GMT -5
Yeah color coding does get to be a job in itself.
But I stick by what I said before, your RP's are solid each week and I gotta feeling you'll be doing quite well in the future.
|
|
|
|
Post by Allen Guiliano on Mar 21, 2010 11:59:05 GMT -5
Personally I dont find color tagging to be that tedious, but thats just me. I simply copy and paste the color= and then /color and add my text in the middle. Just a little time saver that I use and maybe can be helpful for anyone else as well.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jake Keeton on Jan 17, 2011 20:42:11 GMT -5
I figured I'd just bump my old thread instead of making a new one, I wanted see what folks thought about my first RP back in WCF? Personally I felt good about my trash/promo but thought my story was a lil rusty.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2011 22:26:32 GMT -5
For your first one back this was defiantly good stuff. If this is how you rp when you're a little rusty and trying to get back into the swing of things, then I can't wait to see how good your stuff is going to get.
|
|
|
|
Post by Johnny Reb on Jan 18, 2011 10:47:47 GMT -5
Ditto what Jay said. The story was good. It tugged at the ol' heartstrings and made me say "awwww". If I have one tiny little nitpick, it's that the dialogue seemed a little unnatural... but only a little. Overall, though, it was great, and I can't wait for our eventual rematch!  |
|
|
|
Post by Jake Keeton on Jan 18, 2011 11:14:51 GMT -5
I'd like to do our rematch but with all these stupid tag team matches I'll be 7-7 by the time that happens.
|
|
|
|
Post by Johnny Reb on Jan 18, 2011 11:26:42 GMT -5
Yeah, you just got tossed right in the middle of things, didn't you? It's ok, though. I have faith that we'll get our rematch when the time is right. And it will be epic! ;D |
|
]
