Post by conviction on Jan 27, 2010 2:33:45 GMT -5
The scene opens up to a loft in the center of the city of Brotherly love. There is a crowd of black men seated as though waiting for someone to perform some sort of entertainment for them. Many of those in the crowd are prominent musicians in the Philadelphia Area. Meek Millz, and the Major Figgas are among those in attendance. The camera turns to a make-shift podium made from a dining room table that sits in the front of the room. An unplugged microphone sits in on the table. Instead of the typical water bottle, a 40 ounce Budweiser bottle also sits on the table. The men are speaking amongst each other. They anxiously await someone.
After a few minutes of anticipation, the door opens and in walks conviction in a tuxedo t-shirt and dress pants. There is a loud cheer from the crowd as Conviction waves to everyone and even takes the time to shake the hands of a few in the front row. Members of the crowd shout encouragement to Conviction. He then tries to signal them to quiet down. After about a minute they rumblings stop and he begins to speak.
Conviction: First of all I want to thank you all for coming to “The Loft”. I know most of you guys just came here tonight because you knew there was a crowd. I thought about having this at a casino press conference room but remembered casinos are for making that paper. I’m here tonight, to get drunk, high, and possibly address my opponents this weekend at Ten. I will make a quick statement then open it up to questions from those that are unemployed or barely making it paycheck to paycheck. Oh my bad. I forgot, we all hustlers here. Every one of us gets money. So I guess I’ll be forced to take questions from the other selfish Americans in attendance.
First off, I would just like to thank Hector Rodriguez. Because when I had asked him to an exhibition of wrestling skill, if he had not accepted, I would be pulling the curtains at Ten. Instead, because he is such a nice guy, he allowed me to bust open his head, therefore having Mr. Seth Lerch add me to the United States Title match Sunday at Ten. Unfortunately, I am a nobody and should not even show up to Reading on Sunday. (Conviction opens up the Budweiser and begins to take a large drink.) Okay well that’s about all I have. I guess I’ll now open it up to the “bangers”.
Gillie Da Kid: Conviction, I was curious. How fitting is it, that a coward, such as Hector Rodriguez, is introduced to the song of another coward, Lil Wayne?
Conviction: Great question. To me, Mr. Rodriguez is a man of GRRRREEEEEAAAAT honor. We must all continue to bow to him because he is one of the top five biggest guys in the WCF. You know that you never get involved with big guys. They might hurt you. And plus, he has a scary mask. Next Question.
Bianca of Major Figgas: Hi, I’m a huge fan. I was just wondering where all your “robot penises” are. Hector had over a dozen at his press conference, you only have one; and it doesn’t even work.
Conviction: Now Now… We’ll leave the robot penises to Don Bradley and Hector Rodriguez. As for my microphone, use your imagination. We all know how them Mexican men love penises.
Bianca: yeah I guess so.. But Don Bradley and Hector Rodriguez had their press conference in a big casino. Why were you unable to have yours at a big, luxurious casino?
Conviction: Welp, I didn’t exactly see the point in flying across the country for no apparent reason. I was wrong though. How much fun would it be to have a bunch of people that don’t care about me or anything I say sit there and ask me questions about a match that I’m probably going to lose? And don’t worry, after we finish the press conference we will open up to those who wish to shoot dice and play spades.
Conviction points to Bump J also of Major Figgas. Bump J stand up and begins to speak.
Bump J: Hey, Vic, I heard Don Bradley speak about how dangerous MS-13 is. Especially Hector’s female manager. Aren’t you afraid that the buffed up security at WCF events won’t be enough? He said they are in major cities everywhere! Oh my god! They can be in Philadelphia. They may get to you before you even get to Ten on Sunday.
Conviction: Ohhh yes. I am extremely scared. MS-13 has been on MSNBC and every other news station about how dangerous and violent they are. I think I saw them on the one day right after the parents who faked their kid going up in a hot air balloon. They are really dangerous though. I lock my doors and windows before bed every night. I bought a gun that I have right next to my bed when I go to sleep. I pray to god every night that they do not get me. Maybe if I ask Hector nicely he’ll have them stay away from me.
Gillie Da Kid stands up again and begins to speak to Conviction.
Gillie Da Kid: I have a joke for you. You Ready? Okay. How many unwanted smelly Mexicans do you have to pack in a casino conference room before Don Bradley and that other corny white guy gets a laugh at one of their lame ass jokes?
Conviction: Calm Down Gil. Show the Mexican community some respect. Apparently I missed it when it became known that the Latinos are soon to be the majority. I could have sworn that it was white people would no longer be the majority, and there would be no majority, just minorities. They must be right though. I was down in Texas and the south western states and saw a lot of people jumping the fences. We have to just take his word for it. Don Bradley knows best. Who’s next?
Bump J stands up
Bump J: Conviction if I may… What are you going to do about Hector’s new manager? Don Bradley said that people cannot talk bad about her because they don’t even know who she is. What if she is some kind of trained killer?
Conviction: Oh myyyy goddd!! I completely forgot about Hector and his whole manager situation. I don’t know how I let that happen. He’s only been dragging this out for about a month now. Never again will I speak bad about her. I just hope she doesn’t try to kill me.
Conviction drinks more of the Budweiser before pointing to another person for a question.
Dutch from Major Figgas stands and begins to speak.
Dutch: Hey, I was just wondering if you were at all surprised by Hector Rodriguez speaking almost nothing about you in his press conference, focusing on Ace Slaughter. Hopefully your adoring fans that you have so much of will be able to get your name out there for your match since you seem to be being overlooked.
Conviction: Oh yes yes. I guess I’ve always been a fan favorite. Well at least I thought so. Unfortunately Hectors camp broke the news to me today that they were cheering for me for no reason. I’m baffled by the lack of attention I received at the press conference at the MGM. Hopefully Hector will have something to say to me before Ten. Unfortunately we’re out of time here. I will be unable to take any more questions.
Conviction grabs his Budweiser and walks away from the table. He takes a sip and burst into laughter as do the rest of the crowd. He finishes the rest of his beer and grabs another. A group of women come into the room and a party ensues. Conviction puts his arm around a girl and begins to sweet talk her. They then turn to the camera and Conviction starts to speak.
Conviction: Come on now Hector… Really? A press conference at MGM? You better get your shit together man. You ain’t that important. No one cares about you, MS-13 or Don Bradley. Donnie Boy was talking about your MS-13 boys being everywhere. Well they ain’t around here. There ain’t no gang bangers in Philly. As for your new bitch manager… When I find out who she is at Ten, I’m gonna kick your ass then take her home and smack hers. Your boy Logan may win at Ten. But the only irony about Ten is gonna be that you call me weak, a coward, a nobody, a newbie, and yet I’m gonna be the one who walks out of Ten as the United States Champion.
And by the way, tell your boy Donnie that he’s right. I don’t care about those who struggle financially in this country. I never cared what people thought of me or whether or not they cheered for me or not. You my friend are the one who worried so much about being a fan favorite, only to turn your back on them. Now it seems like you are trying to win them back. Make up your mind boy. Just keep in mind, they don’t care about you. Remember when I asked to have a match with you? Cus I don’t. I told you I’d be waiting for you to respond. If you wouldn’t have, I would have found you. Isn’t it gonna a shame that this newbie is gonna beat you for the title? I should thank you for getting me this match? Bitch please! I busted your ass open within minutes. Seth Lerch put me in this match because he knew YOU didn’t hold the star power to attract fans to this match. Like I told you before, no way in hell will I allow a Mexican to be the United States Champion. If you bring your MS-13 crew around on Sunday, they will suffer. Come Sunday, there’s no more running.
Ace Slaughter, don’t think that I forgot about you baby. You’re probably out fighting off oblivion or deciding whether to hang yourself. Come Sunday, I’ll beat you so bad that you wish you really did have someone like oblivion inside you. Your selfishness cost us the match on Slam Sunday night. Your reign as United States Champion will end. You’re gonna wish you had killed yourself last week after you walk out of Ten without the US Title. Spend your coming days wisely with Mini Ace, your slutty girlfriend and that gay guy that you hang out with. The Slaughter Society as you call it reminds me of a funny farm. You the mentally challenged, Mini Ace the freak show, your gay dude, and your girl that’s not too bad looking but obviously has something wrong with her that keeps her from getting normal guys. It could be worse. You could be MS-13. Unfortunately for you Ace Slaughter, the Slaughter Society, and MS-13 are both going home empty handed Sunday Night. T minus 4 and a half days until Judgment Day. I’ll be waiting for you.
Conviction and the girl turn around back to the party and disappear into the crowd as the scene ends.
After a few minutes of anticipation, the door opens and in walks conviction in a tuxedo t-shirt and dress pants. There is a loud cheer from the crowd as Conviction waves to everyone and even takes the time to shake the hands of a few in the front row. Members of the crowd shout encouragement to Conviction. He then tries to signal them to quiet down. After about a minute they rumblings stop and he begins to speak.
Conviction: First of all I want to thank you all for coming to “The Loft”. I know most of you guys just came here tonight because you knew there was a crowd. I thought about having this at a casino press conference room but remembered casinos are for making that paper. I’m here tonight, to get drunk, high, and possibly address my opponents this weekend at Ten. I will make a quick statement then open it up to questions from those that are unemployed or barely making it paycheck to paycheck. Oh my bad. I forgot, we all hustlers here. Every one of us gets money. So I guess I’ll be forced to take questions from the other selfish Americans in attendance.
First off, I would just like to thank Hector Rodriguez. Because when I had asked him to an exhibition of wrestling skill, if he had not accepted, I would be pulling the curtains at Ten. Instead, because he is such a nice guy, he allowed me to bust open his head, therefore having Mr. Seth Lerch add me to the United States Title match Sunday at Ten. Unfortunately, I am a nobody and should not even show up to Reading on Sunday. (Conviction opens up the Budweiser and begins to take a large drink.) Okay well that’s about all I have. I guess I’ll now open it up to the “bangers”.
Gillie Da Kid: Conviction, I was curious. How fitting is it, that a coward, such as Hector Rodriguez, is introduced to the song of another coward, Lil Wayne?
Conviction: Great question. To me, Mr. Rodriguez is a man of GRRRREEEEEAAAAT honor. We must all continue to bow to him because he is one of the top five biggest guys in the WCF. You know that you never get involved with big guys. They might hurt you. And plus, he has a scary mask. Next Question.
Bianca of Major Figgas: Hi, I’m a huge fan. I was just wondering where all your “robot penises” are. Hector had over a dozen at his press conference, you only have one; and it doesn’t even work.
Conviction: Now Now… We’ll leave the robot penises to Don Bradley and Hector Rodriguez. As for my microphone, use your imagination. We all know how them Mexican men love penises.
Bianca: yeah I guess so.. But Don Bradley and Hector Rodriguez had their press conference in a big casino. Why were you unable to have yours at a big, luxurious casino?
Conviction: Welp, I didn’t exactly see the point in flying across the country for no apparent reason. I was wrong though. How much fun would it be to have a bunch of people that don’t care about me or anything I say sit there and ask me questions about a match that I’m probably going to lose? And don’t worry, after we finish the press conference we will open up to those who wish to shoot dice and play spades.
Conviction points to Bump J also of Major Figgas. Bump J stand up and begins to speak.
Bump J: Hey, Vic, I heard Don Bradley speak about how dangerous MS-13 is. Especially Hector’s female manager. Aren’t you afraid that the buffed up security at WCF events won’t be enough? He said they are in major cities everywhere! Oh my god! They can be in Philadelphia. They may get to you before you even get to Ten on Sunday.
Conviction: Ohhh yes. I am extremely scared. MS-13 has been on MSNBC and every other news station about how dangerous and violent they are. I think I saw them on the one day right after the parents who faked their kid going up in a hot air balloon. They are really dangerous though. I lock my doors and windows before bed every night. I bought a gun that I have right next to my bed when I go to sleep. I pray to god every night that they do not get me. Maybe if I ask Hector nicely he’ll have them stay away from me.
Gillie Da Kid stands up again and begins to speak to Conviction.
Gillie Da Kid: I have a joke for you. You Ready? Okay. How many unwanted smelly Mexicans do you have to pack in a casino conference room before Don Bradley and that other corny white guy gets a laugh at one of their lame ass jokes?
Conviction: Calm Down Gil. Show the Mexican community some respect. Apparently I missed it when it became known that the Latinos are soon to be the majority. I could have sworn that it was white people would no longer be the majority, and there would be no majority, just minorities. They must be right though. I was down in Texas and the south western states and saw a lot of people jumping the fences. We have to just take his word for it. Don Bradley knows best. Who’s next?
Bump J stands up
Bump J: Conviction if I may… What are you going to do about Hector’s new manager? Don Bradley said that people cannot talk bad about her because they don’t even know who she is. What if she is some kind of trained killer?
Conviction: Oh myyyy goddd!! I completely forgot about Hector and his whole manager situation. I don’t know how I let that happen. He’s only been dragging this out for about a month now. Never again will I speak bad about her. I just hope she doesn’t try to kill me.
Conviction drinks more of the Budweiser before pointing to another person for a question.
Dutch from Major Figgas stands and begins to speak.
Dutch: Hey, I was just wondering if you were at all surprised by Hector Rodriguez speaking almost nothing about you in his press conference, focusing on Ace Slaughter. Hopefully your adoring fans that you have so much of will be able to get your name out there for your match since you seem to be being overlooked.
Conviction: Oh yes yes. I guess I’ve always been a fan favorite. Well at least I thought so. Unfortunately Hectors camp broke the news to me today that they were cheering for me for no reason. I’m baffled by the lack of attention I received at the press conference at the MGM. Hopefully Hector will have something to say to me before Ten. Unfortunately we’re out of time here. I will be unable to take any more questions.
Conviction grabs his Budweiser and walks away from the table. He takes a sip and burst into laughter as do the rest of the crowd. He finishes the rest of his beer and grabs another. A group of women come into the room and a party ensues. Conviction puts his arm around a girl and begins to sweet talk her. They then turn to the camera and Conviction starts to speak.
Conviction: Come on now Hector… Really? A press conference at MGM? You better get your shit together man. You ain’t that important. No one cares about you, MS-13 or Don Bradley. Donnie Boy was talking about your MS-13 boys being everywhere. Well they ain’t around here. There ain’t no gang bangers in Philly. As for your new bitch manager… When I find out who she is at Ten, I’m gonna kick your ass then take her home and smack hers. Your boy Logan may win at Ten. But the only irony about Ten is gonna be that you call me weak, a coward, a nobody, a newbie, and yet I’m gonna be the one who walks out of Ten as the United States Champion.
And by the way, tell your boy Donnie that he’s right. I don’t care about those who struggle financially in this country. I never cared what people thought of me or whether or not they cheered for me or not. You my friend are the one who worried so much about being a fan favorite, only to turn your back on them. Now it seems like you are trying to win them back. Make up your mind boy. Just keep in mind, they don’t care about you. Remember when I asked to have a match with you? Cus I don’t. I told you I’d be waiting for you to respond. If you wouldn’t have, I would have found you. Isn’t it gonna a shame that this newbie is gonna beat you for the title? I should thank you for getting me this match? Bitch please! I busted your ass open within minutes. Seth Lerch put me in this match because he knew YOU didn’t hold the star power to attract fans to this match. Like I told you before, no way in hell will I allow a Mexican to be the United States Champion. If you bring your MS-13 crew around on Sunday, they will suffer. Come Sunday, there’s no more running.
Ace Slaughter, don’t think that I forgot about you baby. You’re probably out fighting off oblivion or deciding whether to hang yourself. Come Sunday, I’ll beat you so bad that you wish you really did have someone like oblivion inside you. Your selfishness cost us the match on Slam Sunday night. Your reign as United States Champion will end. You’re gonna wish you had killed yourself last week after you walk out of Ten without the US Title. Spend your coming days wisely with Mini Ace, your slutty girlfriend and that gay guy that you hang out with. The Slaughter Society as you call it reminds me of a funny farm. You the mentally challenged, Mini Ace the freak show, your gay dude, and your girl that’s not too bad looking but obviously has something wrong with her that keeps her from getting normal guys. It could be worse. You could be MS-13. Unfortunately for you Ace Slaughter, the Slaughter Society, and MS-13 are both going home empty handed Sunday Night. T minus 4 and a half days until Judgment Day. I’ll be waiting for you.
Conviction and the girl turn around back to the party and disappear into the crowd as the scene ends.