Post by Deleted on Jan 26, 2010 9:26:08 GMT -5
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." These are the words of writer and philosopher George Santayana. Truer words have rarely been spoken. It is then ironic that this phrase is often misquoted and misattributed, most commonly to British Prime Minister Winston Churchill. Churchill is precisely the type of man who Chad Evans despises, a warmonger with a callous disregard for the populace who elected him. Chad is however a man with a passion for history. Chad studies history, embraces it and has learned a great many lessons from it. Chad also embraces wisdom. Wisdom empowers those who are willing to learn and willing to act upon the moral compass that guides all great men.
Chad Evans aspires to be great, though he readily admits that he’s not there yet. Part of being wise is acknowledging one’s limitations while working to improve upon them. Chad knows that in order to rise above the fray and differentiate himself from the mere contenders in WCF, he and tag partner Prince Jimmy Dean must defeat the New Confederacy for the WCF Tag Team Titles. The Royal Family, as Evans and Dean are collectively known, will have their own chance to make history on January 31st at WCF’s 10th anniversary pay-per-view extravaganza in Reading, Pennsylvania, appropriately dubbed Ten.
There is a force that drives Chad beyond the pomp and circumstance of a title match, a force that is stronger than his desire to be champion. Chad is driven by his allegiance to the people in his community and the workers around the world who have risen in support of his Anarchist movement. Chad is a man who is trying to accomplish that which has often been deemed impossible: he’s trying to overthrow the establishment. Certain individuals, ignorant people, have taken it upon themselves to lambaste Chadwick’s ambitious goal. These people would like nothing more than to see Chad fall flat upon his face while the status quo remains firmly intact. Such egregious failure is not an option for Chad Evans.
Chad has a lot on his mind at the moment and he has much to discuss. Chad’s not hanging out at a bar tonight. He’s not in a hotel room with his girlfriend. He’s not prowling the streets for drug dealers and pimps. All of those things are important to Chad, but for one night they will have to wait. For one night Chad has some shit to get off his chest and he doesn’t wait any distractions. So where is Chad? Chad is sitting in a chair at a table in what appears to be an interrogation room. It’s not known how Chad could gain access to such a room, he wasn’t arrested nor does he moonlight as a detective for the police department.
Chad is dressed in a black suit, black tie, white shirt. His bleached blond is neatly slicked back. The room itself is very basic and consists of four white walls with no decor save for a two-way mirror, a door, a metal table, the metal chair in which Chad is seated, and a metal lamp with a single bulb that hangs from the ceiling above the table. The room is dimly lit except for the table at which Chad is seated. It can get very hot under that light when you’re being interrogated. On this night Chad will be handling the interrogation. He clears his throat before he begins speaking; his tone of voice is strong yet measured.
Chad Evans: “I would like to take a few minutes tonight to address my opponent at Ten, a man named Johnny Reb. I know that my match at Ten is a tag team match, but let’s be honest this match boils down to Johnny Reb versus Chad Evans. Even if Prince Jimmy Dean and Doc Henry were something more than just middling fodder they wouldn’t be pertinent to this dialog. Jimmy barely speaks English and Doc has been awfully silent of late, though he rarely has anything of value to contribute to a conversation. That’s why I’ll be directing my comments toward you, Johnny. I would like to start by replying to the rather bizarre and misguided statements that you made prior to our one-on-one match at Slam on Sunday. I didn’t have the opportunity to respond to your comments before our match so that’s why I’ll be doing it now. I hope that you don’t object and I’m sure that you won’t. I’m sure that your proud, stubborn, Southern perspective hasn’t changed in the wake of that most humbling defeat that I handed you in the Charm City.”
Chad laughs to himself as he thinks about the way that he hit his patented Height of Enlightenment and pinned Johnny Reb’s shoulders to the mat for the one, two, three on Sunday Night Slam in Baltimore.
Chad Evans: “You see I don’t need a Southern man to tell me that I’m a fool for trying to change the world through professional wrestling. I stand tall with my brothers and sisters from all walks of life. Just like them I’m proud of what I do for a living. I don’t demean the sport that I love by calling it a circus. Much like the great Muhammad Ali I am using sport as my platform for social change. You seem content to maintain the status quo. You call me a hypocrite for believing that I’m different from you and every other wrestler who is simply cashing a check here in WCF? You and I are worlds apart, Johnny. You’re the hypocrite because you recognize the exploitation and corruption that exists within this establishment yet you refuse to lift a finger to change anything. Your apathy disgusts me. The workers struggle knows no boundaries, whether in the factories, on the streets or inside of the squared circle. I am using the Wrestling Champion Federation to bring my message to the masses. Unlike you I don’t call myself a working class hero while walking the corporatist line and peddling mass produced products to a disenchanted populace. You and Doc can take your women’s massagers and shove them up your ass! I am change. I am revolution. You’re a Rebel without a cause or a heart.”
Chad licks his lips and clears his throat again. He’s just getting warmed up. He’s not pissed yet; he maintains his relatively calm tone of voice.
Chad Evans: “Revolutionaries are often ahead of their time. In fact revolution and progress are defined by their defiance of mainstream sensibilities. One must be willing to think outside of the box if they wish to push forward and resist the shackles of tedium. The reason why I am despised by cowards such as Johnny Reb is because those cowards wish to enable the exploitation and degradation of the masses. They don't care about anyone else, they'll do what they're told so long as they're rewarded with their pound of flesh from the overseer’s hand. I will destroy men such as Torture and Seth Lerch. Johnny Reb would rather protect them. Reb claims that he represents the working class yet what he truly represents is the futile cause of the fallen Confederacy. Johnny Reb, let me assure you that if you wish to truly represent the working class then you would be well advised to do something more than appeal to a dunderheaded Southern mass. Tell me, Johnny, how many slaves did your ancestors own? How many blacks did your great grand pappy lynch while he and his drunken Klansmen buddies were dressed up in their finest bed linens?”
Chad shakes his head in disgust while thinking about the horrors of the Southern slave trade and segregation era. The horrible images of lynchings that he’s seen in textbooks and documentary films race through Chad’s young mind, a mind that is considerably more world weary than many of Chad’s peers in Generation Y. Chad collects his emotions and his thoughts. He speaks now in a harsher tone of voice than before.
Chad Evans: “I don’t think that I’m out of line for asking those questions. Quite frankly you open the door for such a line of questioning with your advocacy of the Confederate movement, a movement that is so odious and antiquated that it is despised the world over. Now you may wish to cast the interrogative light in my direction and pose those very same questions to me, but I can assure you that my ancestors were hard-working immigrants who fought tooth and nail for everything that they received. They overcame many hardships and fought to establish and protect their rights, much like the Africans that your ancestors enslaved and tormented. As such my conscience is clear on this issue. I come from a long line of working class people. I can’t claim to be a college-educated, Southern gentleman like you, Mr. Reb. However I can assure you that I’m proud of my heritage. I champion the cause of the workers as a tribute to the toil and sacrifice of my ancestors.”
Chad takes a deep breath and exhales. These are heavy subjects of which he speaks and his emotions are running deep.
Chad Evans: “In my estimation it’s crazy that people are willing to throw away their ambitions and be what society wants them to be. I think about all of the lost souls doing what they’re told so that they might be rewarded with the almighty dollar. They gave up everything great that they could have ever accomplished and became slaves to the system. I will never succumb to the temptations of money and material that lead so many people astray from their principles. That’s why I was deeply offended when you made a certain hurtful remark in your most recent promo, Johnny. Do you know the comment to which I’m referring? Allow me to refresh your memory. You accused me of being a homespun vigilante, neatly packaged and trademarked for the consumer market. That’s a clever little quip that could be accurately applied to the countless false idols that appear on television and in movies and music. However that tag doesn’t apply to me, Johnny. You should be ashamed of yourself for hurling such an unfounded accusation in my direction. You should feel shamed and disgraced for perpetuating such an irresponsible lie upon the hardworking WCF fans who watch these wrestling promos. My brand of vigilantism is hardly contrived. It’s certainly not designed for selling T-shirts and other merchandise, ala Austin 3:16. My brand of vigilantism is designed to cleanse the streets, the WCF and the whole of society of its impiety.”
Chad smiles the contented smile of the righteous man as those words part from his lips. His smile suddenly gives way to a sneer, as his tone of voice now turns sinister.
Chad Evans: “I’m still pissed that you would say something so stupid, Johnny. Honestly your comment was so absurd that it was laughable, but I don’t want to laugh. I want to stick my fist through your skull. I want to exact my revenge upon your cranium. I don’t care that you and I already wrestled on Sunday Night Slam. That match was simply a preview, a sample, a glimpse of what should be expected this Sunday night at Ten. More than mere championship gold will be at stake when The Royal Family meets The New Confederacy. Our match will be a battle for respect and a battle of ideologies. It will feature a battle between the Anarchist movement and the Neo-Confederate movement. Right now it can be argued that you have the stronger public support, Johnny, at least among mainstream circles; but will it still be that way after Sunday night? Will it still be that way when I’m standing over your aching, defeated body with my victorious hands raised to the sky? Think about it, Johnny. Think about it now while your mind is relatively free of obstruction, because after Ten your head will be ringing.”
Chad scowls in the direction that he’s speaking. He doesn’t move, not even a flinch, nor does he change his expression or his tone of voice.
Chad Evans: “Is there something else that you think I don’t understand, Johnny? If so then please explain it to me. Enlighten me with your intellectual discourse and your talk of Roman poets, bread and circuses. Do you think there’s something that this Yankee bastard doesn’t quite comprehend about your Confederate perspective? I’ve heard all of the stories and all of the talk, Johnny. Save it for the uninitiated. Were the actions of Union forces during the American Civil War justifiable? Of course they were not. Was the Civil War a necessary course of action for freeing the slaves? No, and those who believe so couldn’t be further from the truth. The American Civil War was a rich man’s war, like all wars. The working class was exploited and sent to fight and die because of the shortcomings of their elected leaders, men who cared only about establishing their authority to control other people.”
Chad flicks his nose with his thumb and sits up straight in his chair. Now he’s really finding his groove as his voice and facial expressions grow ever more animated than before.
Chad Evans: “The only difference between the Union and the Confederacy was that their respective leaders held different ideals regarding how they could most effectively control their respective populaces. As we know the Union’s preference for centralized government prevailed. The states’ rights that were favored by the Confederacy were subsequently abolished, and the Tenth Amendment of the Bill of Rights was quietly rescinded. Could things have turned out differently, should they have turned out differently? Of course they could and should have but the Confederate states were stubborn and callous in their ways. They supported policies that violated human rights, policies that rightfully deserved to be abolished. That doesn’t justify the policies of President Lincoln. Lincoln was a bloodthirsty tyrant who drank from the blood of babes. Lincoln’s policy of total war against the Confederate states was so inhuman that it later inspired Hitler’s reign of terror in Germany. Union General William Tecumseh Sherman was a domestic terrorist and his ‘scorched earth’ policies constituted war crimes against the Confederate people, innocent men, women and children who were murdered. Had Lincoln lived to complete his time in office he might have been viewed as one of history's most brutal dictators. The problem is that when your boy John Wilkes Booth assassinated Lincoln he instantly transformed Lincoln from an iconoclast to a martyr. Unlike Aaron Burr, the man who shot Alexander Hamilton, Booth killed the tyrant Lincoln without first securing a groundswell of grassroots support. As a result America canonized Lincoln, vilified Booth, and continues to suffer from the tyranny of Lincoln’s centralized government nearly a century and a half after his death.”
Chad sighs. It's the burdened sigh of a young man with the weight of the world upon his shoulders. Now he knows how Atlas must have felt.
Chad Evans: “I want you to take something in, Johnny. I want you to know that I will never shirk on my civic responsibilities. If you are concerned about that then your concern is misguided and in fact wasted. If one could ensure freedom for the masses by assassinating the tyrant then I would have killed Seth Lerch a long time ago. Lerch’s charred remains would never be discovered by the authorities, and even if they were I would be happy to pay the price. I would be happy to sacrifice my life to secure a better way of life for others, because I do care about my country and all of the people contained therein. Unlike John Wilkes Booth I understand that progress comes in incremental drops through the will of the people, not torrential downpours through the assassin’s bullet. Take a look at the Civil Rights movement in America. The Civil Rights movement started with a few thousand brave souls and through decades of tireless work and peaceful protest those brave souls grew in numbers, grew to become millions of people from all races and all walks of life. They accomplished greater progress with their message of peace and equality than any war could ever accomplish. The assassin’s bullet does not create peace. War certainly doesn’t create peace. No one has ever been freed from tyranny through acts of war. Only fascists and liberals propagate myths to the contrary, because such propaganda helps to advance their draconian agendas.”
Chad nods in affirmation of his words, with a solemn expression on his face. Every word that he’s saying is honest, heartfelt and truthful. Chad’s voice has returned to a calmer tone, though it remains strong and vital.
Chad Evans: “When we the people rise against our oppressors then we will have freedom. We will never be free by following marching orders. We must rise against our oppressors, not with them. We must overthrow the establishment, not work to appease it. I often think about the poor souls who have fought and died in America’s military conflicts. Those brave people died in the name of freedom and liberty, but those who survived did not reap the fruits of their sacrifice. The American people don’t live in a land of freedom and liberty. We remained enslaved, one nation under sedation. It’s time to unleash the yearning for freedom that resides inside each of us. It’s time to march into the lion’s roar and disarm our captors. It’s time to right the wrongs of history and the wrongs of government. Are my words getting through to you, Johnny? Am I trying to put a square peg into a round hole or do you understand where I’m coming from? Have I pretty much hit the nail on the head with my assessments or do you wish to further assail my character with your assumptions and generalizations?”
Chad is annoyed now as he thinks about the harsh words that Johnny Reb had for him during his last promo.
Chad Evans: “I’m going to take the proper steps to protect my own ass, because I’m not just going to assume that you and I are on the same page, Johnny. In fact I’m going to assume that we don’t see eye to eye on much of anything. I know that we disagree with regard to the ugly and brutal history of a most gruesome land known as the American South. Time and time again I’ve heard Southern people utter the phrase ‘The South shall rise again!’ as if they honestly believe it, as if they’re honestly proud of their heritage. What is there to be proud of? You stood up against centralized government? Bravo! That’s just grand, Johnny. The only problem is that you supported slavery. That’s considered a no-no in civilized societies.”
Chad rubs his index fingers together as if to say “tsk tsk”, reminiscent of a mother admonishing her child.
Chad Evans: “When I think about the American South I’m reminded of the classic Billie Holiday song ‘Strange Fruit’. That song is a personal favorite of mine. I’m sure that it’s a favorite of yours too, Johnny. Sing along if you know the lyrics.”
Chad pulls a kazoo out of his pocket. He blows into the kazoo to find the right pitch before he begins to sing. Chad sings in a husky voice with an exaggerated Southern inflection.
Chad Evans: “Southern trees bear strange fruit... blood on the leaves and blood at the root... black bodies swingin’ in the Southern breeze... strange fruit hangin’ from the poplar trees.”
Chad shakes his head in disgust as the images that those words convey fill his mind.
Chad Evans: “This is the legacy that you’re proud of, Johnny? These are the values that you wish to restore? Let me tell you something right now: the South cannot and will not prevail because its values are corrupt, just like the corporatist establishment. Social progress is not defined by moving from one tyrannical hierarchy to another. Social progress is defined by a willingness to embrace equality and opportunity for all people. The policies that your movement advocates are a sign of regression not progression. If we as a nation embraced such policies then we would be taking backwards steps to an era from which we have thankfully evolved. To be fair people have told me that the South is changing. People have honestly walked up to me and said, ‘Hey Evans, stop bashing the South! We voted for a black president!’ That’s a fair statement. It’s not entirely accurate since Virginia, North Carolina and Florida were the only Southern states that voted for Obama, but I understand what these concerned citizens are saying. You voted for a black presidential candidate and you believe that this is somehow a statement of your willingness to embrace change? I would say that it’s a statement of your willingness to be swallowed whole by propaganda.”
Chad raises an eyebrow with a serious look on his face as he speaks his mind without fear of backlash or reprisal.
Chad Evans: “Southerners don’t get a free pass from me just because they voted for Barack Obama. President Obama is no different from the previous tyrants that the South has readily embraced in recent history. Obama stands for government control, corporate interests and the dissolution of social and economic freedoms. Obama is a warmonger and a poverty pimp. Thankfully many Americans are waking up to the reality that Obama’s policies are hurting America rather than helping it. That is why fifty-two percent of Massachusetts voters shocked the world by electing a Republican to the United States Senate. Unfortunately Senator-elect Scott Brown doesn’t represent change, just as Obama didn’t represent change. Brown is a pawn of the Republican establishment, just as Obama is a pawn of the Democratic establishment. Where does that leave the American people now that the smoke has cleared? It leaves us in the same position that we’ve accepted for far too long: we are slaves to the system. That’s why I’m climbing on my soapbox and using my position as a borderline celebrity and notable professional wrestler to work toward real, tangible change for America. I stand for something more than the campaign slogans and empty rhetoric for which politicians are notorious.”
Chad grimaces. He loosens his tie and stands up from his chair. Chad takes a moment to stretch his limbs and his back before sitting down again. Chad messages his neck and shoulders with his hands while speaking in a calm, reasoned tone.
Chad Evans: “Perhaps I’ve been too hard on the South. Perhaps I’ve directed too much vitriol at a people that have been oppressed as much or more by the system than any other region of this country. Just look at the fact that most Southern states are among the worst performers in terms of scholastic testing scores, the lowest earners in terms of per capita income, and the most easily brainwashed in terms of support for ruthless tyrants and the Republican establishment. It used to be that Southerners despised the Republican Party because of the policies of Abraham Lincoln, who was the first Republican to be elected president. It was impossible for Republicans to win elections in the South for decades after Reconstruction. Southerners voted overwhelmingly Democratic in local and national elections. Of course they didn’t support the type of bleeding-heart liberals that defined the Democratic Party in Northern states. Southerners supported a brand of segregationist Democrats who campaigned on that time-tested platform of states’ rights. These Southern Democrats were defined in the 20th century by such iconoclastic figures as George Wallace, Lester Maddox and Strom Thurmond, who would later jump to the Republican Party when the Dems became too liberal for his segregationist sensibilities.”
Chad visibly shudders while thinking about those gruesome individuals.
Chad Evans: “Those were the types of ruthless figures that Southerners supported during elections. In modern times not much has changed in the South, aside from their party affiliation and the tone of their rhetoric. Southerners support fascists under the Republican banner now. These fascists are no longer known as segregationists, they’re known as neoconservatives or neo-cons for short. These Republican neo-cons campaign on a platform of protecting America from terrorist attacks by waging wars in foreign countries, protecting our freedom by implementing intrusive programs such as the Patriot Act, and stimulating economic growth by advocating trillions of dollars in corporate welfare. These warmongering, self-serving, hypocritical, bible-thumping, cowardly neo-cons have little in common with the stalwarts of the conservative movement such as Robert Taft and Barry Goldwater, who supported limited government both domestic and abroad. In fact these neo-cons represent everything that true conservatives despise, just ask Ron Paul and Pat Buchanan. The neo-cons represent the tyranny of centralized government that the South once staunchly opposed. The South was so steadfastly opposed to such policies that they seceded from the Union and subsequently engaged in the American Civil War. Sadly, tragically, the South has embraced their enemy and become that which they once hated most. That’s why I have no sympathy for the South. I have no sympathy or regard for the New South or the Old South, which includes Johnny Reb and his Confederate movement. When you support slavery then you get what you deserve. When you support the Reagans and Bushes of the world then you also get what you deserve.”
Chad licks his dry lips. His throat has become parched and his voice is noticeably quieter than before, but he’s not done speaking yet. Chad’s not finished with this interrogation.
Chad Evans: “When I’ve talked about the tyrants that the American South has produced, many people have gotten in my face and run their mouths, pretending that they have a leg up on me, pretending that they know what they’re talking about. They tell me, ‘Hey Chad, George W. Bush is from your home state of Connecticut. Choke on that, bitch!’ These geniuses seem to think that I’m completely oblivious to the well-known fact that the Bush Cabal was formed in my home state of Connecticut. They conveniently forget to acknowledge that George Bush’s I and II did not achieve political prominence until they relocated to the Possum Kingdom known as Texas. Connecticut didn’t vote for George W. Bush in either of the presidential elections that he stole. I’m not saying that Connecticut was right for supporting Al Gore or John Kerry in those elections, but we didn’t vote for Bush. We also didn’t kill great men such as John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King. The South was responsible for both of those grisly and cowardly murders.”
Chad closes his eyes and bows his head in a moment of silence for those two great champions of Civil Rights. Chad opens his eyes and strokes his smooth, hairless chin. He appears to be entranced in deep thought, though he snaps out of it and abruptly continues his course of dialog.
Chad Evans: “I understand that I’m rattling on but I do not apologize for that. People expect me to talk about wrestling. They expect me to talk about my match this Sunday at Ten. They expect me to talk about my opponents in that match The New Confederacy. I can assure you that I will speak about my opponents and my match ad nauseam over these next few days leading up to the show. By the time I’m done talking about Johnny Reb and Doc Henry you will all be sick and tired of hearing my voice. With my diatribe this evening I want people to understand that I’m not merely a wrestling gimmick or a marketing ploy. I’m a man of considerable intellect. My ambitions reach far beyond world titles and endorsement deals. I don’t care about seeing my name on the marquee. I care about reaching out to the disenchanted masses. I care about extending a helping hand to everybody who wants a better way of life for their family. I will not be defeated by Johnny Reb. I will not be stopped in my quest to rid WCF of corruption and tyranny. WCF will be the foundation upon which I will build an anarchist workers’ state. If Johnny Reb has a problem with that, if Johnny Reb stands in my way, then Johnny Reb will be the next to fall.”
With a solemn expression on his face, Chad stands up from his chair. He places his hand in front of his mouth and clears his throat. Chad turns away and strides confidently toward the door. He opens the door, flicks the light switch off and walks out of the room. The door closes behind him. The room falls pitch-black.
Chad Evans aspires to be great, though he readily admits that he’s not there yet. Part of being wise is acknowledging one’s limitations while working to improve upon them. Chad knows that in order to rise above the fray and differentiate himself from the mere contenders in WCF, he and tag partner Prince Jimmy Dean must defeat the New Confederacy for the WCF Tag Team Titles. The Royal Family, as Evans and Dean are collectively known, will have their own chance to make history on January 31st at WCF’s 10th anniversary pay-per-view extravaganza in Reading, Pennsylvania, appropriately dubbed Ten.
There is a force that drives Chad beyond the pomp and circumstance of a title match, a force that is stronger than his desire to be champion. Chad is driven by his allegiance to the people in his community and the workers around the world who have risen in support of his Anarchist movement. Chad is a man who is trying to accomplish that which has often been deemed impossible: he’s trying to overthrow the establishment. Certain individuals, ignorant people, have taken it upon themselves to lambaste Chadwick’s ambitious goal. These people would like nothing more than to see Chad fall flat upon his face while the status quo remains firmly intact. Such egregious failure is not an option for Chad Evans.
Chad has a lot on his mind at the moment and he has much to discuss. Chad’s not hanging out at a bar tonight. He’s not in a hotel room with his girlfriend. He’s not prowling the streets for drug dealers and pimps. All of those things are important to Chad, but for one night they will have to wait. For one night Chad has some shit to get off his chest and he doesn’t wait any distractions. So where is Chad? Chad is sitting in a chair at a table in what appears to be an interrogation room. It’s not known how Chad could gain access to such a room, he wasn’t arrested nor does he moonlight as a detective for the police department.
Chad is dressed in a black suit, black tie, white shirt. His bleached blond is neatly slicked back. The room itself is very basic and consists of four white walls with no decor save for a two-way mirror, a door, a metal table, the metal chair in which Chad is seated, and a metal lamp with a single bulb that hangs from the ceiling above the table. The room is dimly lit except for the table at which Chad is seated. It can get very hot under that light when you’re being interrogated. On this night Chad will be handling the interrogation. He clears his throat before he begins speaking; his tone of voice is strong yet measured.
Chad Evans: “I would like to take a few minutes tonight to address my opponent at Ten, a man named Johnny Reb. I know that my match at Ten is a tag team match, but let’s be honest this match boils down to Johnny Reb versus Chad Evans. Even if Prince Jimmy Dean and Doc Henry were something more than just middling fodder they wouldn’t be pertinent to this dialog. Jimmy barely speaks English and Doc has been awfully silent of late, though he rarely has anything of value to contribute to a conversation. That’s why I’ll be directing my comments toward you, Johnny. I would like to start by replying to the rather bizarre and misguided statements that you made prior to our one-on-one match at Slam on Sunday. I didn’t have the opportunity to respond to your comments before our match so that’s why I’ll be doing it now. I hope that you don’t object and I’m sure that you won’t. I’m sure that your proud, stubborn, Southern perspective hasn’t changed in the wake of that most humbling defeat that I handed you in the Charm City.”
Chad laughs to himself as he thinks about the way that he hit his patented Height of Enlightenment and pinned Johnny Reb’s shoulders to the mat for the one, two, three on Sunday Night Slam in Baltimore.
Chad Evans: “You see I don’t need a Southern man to tell me that I’m a fool for trying to change the world through professional wrestling. I stand tall with my brothers and sisters from all walks of life. Just like them I’m proud of what I do for a living. I don’t demean the sport that I love by calling it a circus. Much like the great Muhammad Ali I am using sport as my platform for social change. You seem content to maintain the status quo. You call me a hypocrite for believing that I’m different from you and every other wrestler who is simply cashing a check here in WCF? You and I are worlds apart, Johnny. You’re the hypocrite because you recognize the exploitation and corruption that exists within this establishment yet you refuse to lift a finger to change anything. Your apathy disgusts me. The workers struggle knows no boundaries, whether in the factories, on the streets or inside of the squared circle. I am using the Wrestling Champion Federation to bring my message to the masses. Unlike you I don’t call myself a working class hero while walking the corporatist line and peddling mass produced products to a disenchanted populace. You and Doc can take your women’s massagers and shove them up your ass! I am change. I am revolution. You’re a Rebel without a cause or a heart.”
Chad licks his lips and clears his throat again. He’s just getting warmed up. He’s not pissed yet; he maintains his relatively calm tone of voice.
Chad Evans: “Revolutionaries are often ahead of their time. In fact revolution and progress are defined by their defiance of mainstream sensibilities. One must be willing to think outside of the box if they wish to push forward and resist the shackles of tedium. The reason why I am despised by cowards such as Johnny Reb is because those cowards wish to enable the exploitation and degradation of the masses. They don't care about anyone else, they'll do what they're told so long as they're rewarded with their pound of flesh from the overseer’s hand. I will destroy men such as Torture and Seth Lerch. Johnny Reb would rather protect them. Reb claims that he represents the working class yet what he truly represents is the futile cause of the fallen Confederacy. Johnny Reb, let me assure you that if you wish to truly represent the working class then you would be well advised to do something more than appeal to a dunderheaded Southern mass. Tell me, Johnny, how many slaves did your ancestors own? How many blacks did your great grand pappy lynch while he and his drunken Klansmen buddies were dressed up in their finest bed linens?”
Chad shakes his head in disgust while thinking about the horrors of the Southern slave trade and segregation era. The horrible images of lynchings that he’s seen in textbooks and documentary films race through Chad’s young mind, a mind that is considerably more world weary than many of Chad’s peers in Generation Y. Chad collects his emotions and his thoughts. He speaks now in a harsher tone of voice than before.
Chad Evans: “I don’t think that I’m out of line for asking those questions. Quite frankly you open the door for such a line of questioning with your advocacy of the Confederate movement, a movement that is so odious and antiquated that it is despised the world over. Now you may wish to cast the interrogative light in my direction and pose those very same questions to me, but I can assure you that my ancestors were hard-working immigrants who fought tooth and nail for everything that they received. They overcame many hardships and fought to establish and protect their rights, much like the Africans that your ancestors enslaved and tormented. As such my conscience is clear on this issue. I come from a long line of working class people. I can’t claim to be a college-educated, Southern gentleman like you, Mr. Reb. However I can assure you that I’m proud of my heritage. I champion the cause of the workers as a tribute to the toil and sacrifice of my ancestors.”
Chad takes a deep breath and exhales. These are heavy subjects of which he speaks and his emotions are running deep.
Chad Evans: “In my estimation it’s crazy that people are willing to throw away their ambitions and be what society wants them to be. I think about all of the lost souls doing what they’re told so that they might be rewarded with the almighty dollar. They gave up everything great that they could have ever accomplished and became slaves to the system. I will never succumb to the temptations of money and material that lead so many people astray from their principles. That’s why I was deeply offended when you made a certain hurtful remark in your most recent promo, Johnny. Do you know the comment to which I’m referring? Allow me to refresh your memory. You accused me of being a homespun vigilante, neatly packaged and trademarked for the consumer market. That’s a clever little quip that could be accurately applied to the countless false idols that appear on television and in movies and music. However that tag doesn’t apply to me, Johnny. You should be ashamed of yourself for hurling such an unfounded accusation in my direction. You should feel shamed and disgraced for perpetuating such an irresponsible lie upon the hardworking WCF fans who watch these wrestling promos. My brand of vigilantism is hardly contrived. It’s certainly not designed for selling T-shirts and other merchandise, ala Austin 3:16. My brand of vigilantism is designed to cleanse the streets, the WCF and the whole of society of its impiety.”
Chad smiles the contented smile of the righteous man as those words part from his lips. His smile suddenly gives way to a sneer, as his tone of voice now turns sinister.
Chad Evans: “I’m still pissed that you would say something so stupid, Johnny. Honestly your comment was so absurd that it was laughable, but I don’t want to laugh. I want to stick my fist through your skull. I want to exact my revenge upon your cranium. I don’t care that you and I already wrestled on Sunday Night Slam. That match was simply a preview, a sample, a glimpse of what should be expected this Sunday night at Ten. More than mere championship gold will be at stake when The Royal Family meets The New Confederacy. Our match will be a battle for respect and a battle of ideologies. It will feature a battle between the Anarchist movement and the Neo-Confederate movement. Right now it can be argued that you have the stronger public support, Johnny, at least among mainstream circles; but will it still be that way after Sunday night? Will it still be that way when I’m standing over your aching, defeated body with my victorious hands raised to the sky? Think about it, Johnny. Think about it now while your mind is relatively free of obstruction, because after Ten your head will be ringing.”
Chad scowls in the direction that he’s speaking. He doesn’t move, not even a flinch, nor does he change his expression or his tone of voice.
Chad Evans: “Is there something else that you think I don’t understand, Johnny? If so then please explain it to me. Enlighten me with your intellectual discourse and your talk of Roman poets, bread and circuses. Do you think there’s something that this Yankee bastard doesn’t quite comprehend about your Confederate perspective? I’ve heard all of the stories and all of the talk, Johnny. Save it for the uninitiated. Were the actions of Union forces during the American Civil War justifiable? Of course they were not. Was the Civil War a necessary course of action for freeing the slaves? No, and those who believe so couldn’t be further from the truth. The American Civil War was a rich man’s war, like all wars. The working class was exploited and sent to fight and die because of the shortcomings of their elected leaders, men who cared only about establishing their authority to control other people.”
Chad flicks his nose with his thumb and sits up straight in his chair. Now he’s really finding his groove as his voice and facial expressions grow ever more animated than before.
Chad Evans: “The only difference between the Union and the Confederacy was that their respective leaders held different ideals regarding how they could most effectively control their respective populaces. As we know the Union’s preference for centralized government prevailed. The states’ rights that were favored by the Confederacy were subsequently abolished, and the Tenth Amendment of the Bill of Rights was quietly rescinded. Could things have turned out differently, should they have turned out differently? Of course they could and should have but the Confederate states were stubborn and callous in their ways. They supported policies that violated human rights, policies that rightfully deserved to be abolished. That doesn’t justify the policies of President Lincoln. Lincoln was a bloodthirsty tyrant who drank from the blood of babes. Lincoln’s policy of total war against the Confederate states was so inhuman that it later inspired Hitler’s reign of terror in Germany. Union General William Tecumseh Sherman was a domestic terrorist and his ‘scorched earth’ policies constituted war crimes against the Confederate people, innocent men, women and children who were murdered. Had Lincoln lived to complete his time in office he might have been viewed as one of history's most brutal dictators. The problem is that when your boy John Wilkes Booth assassinated Lincoln he instantly transformed Lincoln from an iconoclast to a martyr. Unlike Aaron Burr, the man who shot Alexander Hamilton, Booth killed the tyrant Lincoln without first securing a groundswell of grassroots support. As a result America canonized Lincoln, vilified Booth, and continues to suffer from the tyranny of Lincoln’s centralized government nearly a century and a half after his death.”
Chad sighs. It's the burdened sigh of a young man with the weight of the world upon his shoulders. Now he knows how Atlas must have felt.
Chad Evans: “I want you to take something in, Johnny. I want you to know that I will never shirk on my civic responsibilities. If you are concerned about that then your concern is misguided and in fact wasted. If one could ensure freedom for the masses by assassinating the tyrant then I would have killed Seth Lerch a long time ago. Lerch’s charred remains would never be discovered by the authorities, and even if they were I would be happy to pay the price. I would be happy to sacrifice my life to secure a better way of life for others, because I do care about my country and all of the people contained therein. Unlike John Wilkes Booth I understand that progress comes in incremental drops through the will of the people, not torrential downpours through the assassin’s bullet. Take a look at the Civil Rights movement in America. The Civil Rights movement started with a few thousand brave souls and through decades of tireless work and peaceful protest those brave souls grew in numbers, grew to become millions of people from all races and all walks of life. They accomplished greater progress with their message of peace and equality than any war could ever accomplish. The assassin’s bullet does not create peace. War certainly doesn’t create peace. No one has ever been freed from tyranny through acts of war. Only fascists and liberals propagate myths to the contrary, because such propaganda helps to advance their draconian agendas.”
Chad nods in affirmation of his words, with a solemn expression on his face. Every word that he’s saying is honest, heartfelt and truthful. Chad’s voice has returned to a calmer tone, though it remains strong and vital.
Chad Evans: “When we the people rise against our oppressors then we will have freedom. We will never be free by following marching orders. We must rise against our oppressors, not with them. We must overthrow the establishment, not work to appease it. I often think about the poor souls who have fought and died in America’s military conflicts. Those brave people died in the name of freedom and liberty, but those who survived did not reap the fruits of their sacrifice. The American people don’t live in a land of freedom and liberty. We remained enslaved, one nation under sedation. It’s time to unleash the yearning for freedom that resides inside each of us. It’s time to march into the lion’s roar and disarm our captors. It’s time to right the wrongs of history and the wrongs of government. Are my words getting through to you, Johnny? Am I trying to put a square peg into a round hole or do you understand where I’m coming from? Have I pretty much hit the nail on the head with my assessments or do you wish to further assail my character with your assumptions and generalizations?”
Chad is annoyed now as he thinks about the harsh words that Johnny Reb had for him during his last promo.
Chad Evans: “I’m going to take the proper steps to protect my own ass, because I’m not just going to assume that you and I are on the same page, Johnny. In fact I’m going to assume that we don’t see eye to eye on much of anything. I know that we disagree with regard to the ugly and brutal history of a most gruesome land known as the American South. Time and time again I’ve heard Southern people utter the phrase ‘The South shall rise again!’ as if they honestly believe it, as if they’re honestly proud of their heritage. What is there to be proud of? You stood up against centralized government? Bravo! That’s just grand, Johnny. The only problem is that you supported slavery. That’s considered a no-no in civilized societies.”
Chad rubs his index fingers together as if to say “tsk tsk”, reminiscent of a mother admonishing her child.
Chad Evans: “When I think about the American South I’m reminded of the classic Billie Holiday song ‘Strange Fruit’. That song is a personal favorite of mine. I’m sure that it’s a favorite of yours too, Johnny. Sing along if you know the lyrics.”
Chad pulls a kazoo out of his pocket. He blows into the kazoo to find the right pitch before he begins to sing. Chad sings in a husky voice with an exaggerated Southern inflection.
Chad Evans: “Southern trees bear strange fruit... blood on the leaves and blood at the root... black bodies swingin’ in the Southern breeze... strange fruit hangin’ from the poplar trees.”
Chad shakes his head in disgust as the images that those words convey fill his mind.
Chad Evans: “This is the legacy that you’re proud of, Johnny? These are the values that you wish to restore? Let me tell you something right now: the South cannot and will not prevail because its values are corrupt, just like the corporatist establishment. Social progress is not defined by moving from one tyrannical hierarchy to another. Social progress is defined by a willingness to embrace equality and opportunity for all people. The policies that your movement advocates are a sign of regression not progression. If we as a nation embraced such policies then we would be taking backwards steps to an era from which we have thankfully evolved. To be fair people have told me that the South is changing. People have honestly walked up to me and said, ‘Hey Evans, stop bashing the South! We voted for a black president!’ That’s a fair statement. It’s not entirely accurate since Virginia, North Carolina and Florida were the only Southern states that voted for Obama, but I understand what these concerned citizens are saying. You voted for a black presidential candidate and you believe that this is somehow a statement of your willingness to embrace change? I would say that it’s a statement of your willingness to be swallowed whole by propaganda.”
Chad raises an eyebrow with a serious look on his face as he speaks his mind without fear of backlash or reprisal.
Chad Evans: “Southerners don’t get a free pass from me just because they voted for Barack Obama. President Obama is no different from the previous tyrants that the South has readily embraced in recent history. Obama stands for government control, corporate interests and the dissolution of social and economic freedoms. Obama is a warmonger and a poverty pimp. Thankfully many Americans are waking up to the reality that Obama’s policies are hurting America rather than helping it. That is why fifty-two percent of Massachusetts voters shocked the world by electing a Republican to the United States Senate. Unfortunately Senator-elect Scott Brown doesn’t represent change, just as Obama didn’t represent change. Brown is a pawn of the Republican establishment, just as Obama is a pawn of the Democratic establishment. Where does that leave the American people now that the smoke has cleared? It leaves us in the same position that we’ve accepted for far too long: we are slaves to the system. That’s why I’m climbing on my soapbox and using my position as a borderline celebrity and notable professional wrestler to work toward real, tangible change for America. I stand for something more than the campaign slogans and empty rhetoric for which politicians are notorious.”
Chad grimaces. He loosens his tie and stands up from his chair. Chad takes a moment to stretch his limbs and his back before sitting down again. Chad messages his neck and shoulders with his hands while speaking in a calm, reasoned tone.
Chad Evans: “Perhaps I’ve been too hard on the South. Perhaps I’ve directed too much vitriol at a people that have been oppressed as much or more by the system than any other region of this country. Just look at the fact that most Southern states are among the worst performers in terms of scholastic testing scores, the lowest earners in terms of per capita income, and the most easily brainwashed in terms of support for ruthless tyrants and the Republican establishment. It used to be that Southerners despised the Republican Party because of the policies of Abraham Lincoln, who was the first Republican to be elected president. It was impossible for Republicans to win elections in the South for decades after Reconstruction. Southerners voted overwhelmingly Democratic in local and national elections. Of course they didn’t support the type of bleeding-heart liberals that defined the Democratic Party in Northern states. Southerners supported a brand of segregationist Democrats who campaigned on that time-tested platform of states’ rights. These Southern Democrats were defined in the 20th century by such iconoclastic figures as George Wallace, Lester Maddox and Strom Thurmond, who would later jump to the Republican Party when the Dems became too liberal for his segregationist sensibilities.”
Chad visibly shudders while thinking about those gruesome individuals.
Chad Evans: “Those were the types of ruthless figures that Southerners supported during elections. In modern times not much has changed in the South, aside from their party affiliation and the tone of their rhetoric. Southerners support fascists under the Republican banner now. These fascists are no longer known as segregationists, they’re known as neoconservatives or neo-cons for short. These Republican neo-cons campaign on a platform of protecting America from terrorist attacks by waging wars in foreign countries, protecting our freedom by implementing intrusive programs such as the Patriot Act, and stimulating economic growth by advocating trillions of dollars in corporate welfare. These warmongering, self-serving, hypocritical, bible-thumping, cowardly neo-cons have little in common with the stalwarts of the conservative movement such as Robert Taft and Barry Goldwater, who supported limited government both domestic and abroad. In fact these neo-cons represent everything that true conservatives despise, just ask Ron Paul and Pat Buchanan. The neo-cons represent the tyranny of centralized government that the South once staunchly opposed. The South was so steadfastly opposed to such policies that they seceded from the Union and subsequently engaged in the American Civil War. Sadly, tragically, the South has embraced their enemy and become that which they once hated most. That’s why I have no sympathy for the South. I have no sympathy or regard for the New South or the Old South, which includes Johnny Reb and his Confederate movement. When you support slavery then you get what you deserve. When you support the Reagans and Bushes of the world then you also get what you deserve.”
Chad licks his dry lips. His throat has become parched and his voice is noticeably quieter than before, but he’s not done speaking yet. Chad’s not finished with this interrogation.
Chad Evans: “When I’ve talked about the tyrants that the American South has produced, many people have gotten in my face and run their mouths, pretending that they have a leg up on me, pretending that they know what they’re talking about. They tell me, ‘Hey Chad, George W. Bush is from your home state of Connecticut. Choke on that, bitch!’ These geniuses seem to think that I’m completely oblivious to the well-known fact that the Bush Cabal was formed in my home state of Connecticut. They conveniently forget to acknowledge that George Bush’s I and II did not achieve political prominence until they relocated to the Possum Kingdom known as Texas. Connecticut didn’t vote for George W. Bush in either of the presidential elections that he stole. I’m not saying that Connecticut was right for supporting Al Gore or John Kerry in those elections, but we didn’t vote for Bush. We also didn’t kill great men such as John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King. The South was responsible for both of those grisly and cowardly murders.”
Chad closes his eyes and bows his head in a moment of silence for those two great champions of Civil Rights. Chad opens his eyes and strokes his smooth, hairless chin. He appears to be entranced in deep thought, though he snaps out of it and abruptly continues his course of dialog.
Chad Evans: “I understand that I’m rattling on but I do not apologize for that. People expect me to talk about wrestling. They expect me to talk about my match this Sunday at Ten. They expect me to talk about my opponents in that match The New Confederacy. I can assure you that I will speak about my opponents and my match ad nauseam over these next few days leading up to the show. By the time I’m done talking about Johnny Reb and Doc Henry you will all be sick and tired of hearing my voice. With my diatribe this evening I want people to understand that I’m not merely a wrestling gimmick or a marketing ploy. I’m a man of considerable intellect. My ambitions reach far beyond world titles and endorsement deals. I don’t care about seeing my name on the marquee. I care about reaching out to the disenchanted masses. I care about extending a helping hand to everybody who wants a better way of life for their family. I will not be defeated by Johnny Reb. I will not be stopped in my quest to rid WCF of corruption and tyranny. WCF will be the foundation upon which I will build an anarchist workers’ state. If Johnny Reb has a problem with that, if Johnny Reb stands in my way, then Johnny Reb will be the next to fall.”
With a solemn expression on his face, Chad stands up from his chair. He places his hand in front of his mouth and clears his throat. Chad turns away and strides confidently toward the door. He opens the door, flicks the light switch off and walks out of the room. The door closes behind him. The room falls pitch-black.