Post by Jack of Blades on Apr 3, 2006 12:04:28 GMT -5
(It is the generic backstage area. Hank Brown is standing with a microphone to interview Jack of Blades. The latter is leaning against the wall looking unimpressed with the scenario.)
Hank Brown: Hello, I am standing here with Jack of Blades poised to ask all the necessary questions. Jack, a lot has happened involving you within this introductory fortnight. Not only did you live up to your promise of making an impact at Blast which you did by attacking fellow newcomer, Ellis, but you also set a precedent in being awarded WCF's 'Wrestler of the Week' for your debut seven days. And this was no ordinary week, this was a week when Reckless Jack retained the title, when four amateurs overcome the Team of Treachery and a week when WCF was forever altered with Logan gaining ownership of the federation. How does it feel to know that your accomplishments overshadowed their's?
Jack of Blades: Oh Hank! You didn't even mention the kicker. The fact that I was awarded 'Wrestler of the Week' without actually having a match.
Hank Brown: Well it does sound that you are proud of your achievement. Is the award currently placed on your mantelpiece?
Jack of Blades: No, I threw that perspex piece of abstract architecture at some kids who were congregating outside my house.
(Hank Brown is somewhat perplexed by Jack's answer.)
Hank Brown: Also, you have been at the forefront of discussion between fans with both you and Ace revealing your inter-twined history. And perhaps most notable is that you will have a chance at the number one contendership for the TV title in your first match against your one time friend.
Jack of Blades: I will discuss that matter in due time. Let us trim the superfluous fat. You have your head so far up my ass you may as well pitch a tent. Do your job and ask me about my actions at Blast rather than stroking my ego.
Hank Brown: As I alluded to earlier, you made your first appearance outside of interviews in the WCF at Blast when you blindsided Ellis after her involvement in the eight-man tag. Jack, I think we all want to know this more than any of your other revelations. Why?
Jack of Blades: Hmph! I know what you expect and I sure as Hell know what the fans are expecting. You are predicting that I will spout some philosophical quotations. You expect to hear the words of Nietzsche, Machiavelli and Paley come out of my mouth. You are thinking that some pseudo-dualist opinions will be used to excuse my actions. Well guess what? There is some massive reasoning behind my attack of Ms. Island. There is a great driving force that left Ellis embedded in the steel ramp. There is something powerful and deeply profound that motivated my appearance at Blast and here it is. Here is the great motive behind my actions: for shits and giggles. That is why I did it. I was bored. I was not due to make an appearance so out of ennui and tedium, I was compelled to make an unscheduled arrival and chose Ellis as my obsession.
And you know what? You know what surprised me the most about the event in question? It was not my realization that Ellis did actually have a heart beat. It was not my seeing of that fair-weather friend known as Ace. It was not the Team of Treachery losing to an impromptu stable of rookies. No, it was the fact that the masses disapproved of my actions. They actually had the gall to boo me. Did they know realise the massive insult that had been done to me? They did not place Jack of Blades on the card for Blast, with all of the aforementioned accomplishments of his, but they put an anorexic teenage girl in a match?
So Ellis Island, I want you to do me a favour. I do not want you to worry about sticking your fingers down your throat. I do not want you to worry about your calorie intake. I do not want you to worry about catching The O.C. repeats. I want you to worry about the psychotic knave that has picked you as his new fixation. And, thus spoke Zarathustra.
(Jack of Blades throws the microphone over his head and walks off camera. Hank looks flustered by Jack's dominance.)
Hank Brown: Hello, I am standing here with Jack of Blades poised to ask all the necessary questions. Jack, a lot has happened involving you within this introductory fortnight. Not only did you live up to your promise of making an impact at Blast which you did by attacking fellow newcomer, Ellis, but you also set a precedent in being awarded WCF's 'Wrestler of the Week' for your debut seven days. And this was no ordinary week, this was a week when Reckless Jack retained the title, when four amateurs overcome the Team of Treachery and a week when WCF was forever altered with Logan gaining ownership of the federation. How does it feel to know that your accomplishments overshadowed their's?
Jack of Blades: Oh Hank! You didn't even mention the kicker. The fact that I was awarded 'Wrestler of the Week' without actually having a match.
Hank Brown: Well it does sound that you are proud of your achievement. Is the award currently placed on your mantelpiece?
Jack of Blades: No, I threw that perspex piece of abstract architecture at some kids who were congregating outside my house.
(Hank Brown is somewhat perplexed by Jack's answer.)
Hank Brown: Also, you have been at the forefront of discussion between fans with both you and Ace revealing your inter-twined history. And perhaps most notable is that you will have a chance at the number one contendership for the TV title in your first match against your one time friend.
Jack of Blades: I will discuss that matter in due time. Let us trim the superfluous fat. You have your head so far up my ass you may as well pitch a tent. Do your job and ask me about my actions at Blast rather than stroking my ego.
Hank Brown: As I alluded to earlier, you made your first appearance outside of interviews in the WCF at Blast when you blindsided Ellis after her involvement in the eight-man tag. Jack, I think we all want to know this more than any of your other revelations. Why?
Jack of Blades: Hmph! I know what you expect and I sure as Hell know what the fans are expecting. You are predicting that I will spout some philosophical quotations. You expect to hear the words of Nietzsche, Machiavelli and Paley come out of my mouth. You are thinking that some pseudo-dualist opinions will be used to excuse my actions. Well guess what? There is some massive reasoning behind my attack of Ms. Island. There is a great driving force that left Ellis embedded in the steel ramp. There is something powerful and deeply profound that motivated my appearance at Blast and here it is. Here is the great motive behind my actions: for shits and giggles. That is why I did it. I was bored. I was not due to make an appearance so out of ennui and tedium, I was compelled to make an unscheduled arrival and chose Ellis as my obsession.
And you know what? You know what surprised me the most about the event in question? It was not my realization that Ellis did actually have a heart beat. It was not my seeing of that fair-weather friend known as Ace. It was not the Team of Treachery losing to an impromptu stable of rookies. No, it was the fact that the masses disapproved of my actions. They actually had the gall to boo me. Did they know realise the massive insult that had been done to me? They did not place Jack of Blades on the card for Blast, with all of the aforementioned accomplishments of his, but they put an anorexic teenage girl in a match?
So Ellis Island, I want you to do me a favour. I do not want you to worry about sticking your fingers down your throat. I do not want you to worry about your calorie intake. I do not want you to worry about catching The O.C. repeats. I want you to worry about the psychotic knave that has picked you as his new fixation. And, thus spoke Zarathustra.
(Jack of Blades throws the microphone over his head and walks off camera. Hank looks flustered by Jack's dominance.)
