Post by Johnny Reb on Jan 18, 2010 14:41:46 GMT -5
Harsh fluorescents wash the back hallways of the Izod Center in a pale white glow, canceling out shadow and revealing every imperfection, cosmetic or structural. One light, close to burning out, flickers fitfully; the single oddity in a procession of consistency. The Inveterate Confederate stands beneath this intermittently guttering bulb, perhaps sensing the kinship of nonconformity, though it seems impossible that a mere light bulb could have such maverick notions.
Johnny Reb is dressed, as he is wont to do, in clothes. Unlike Keifer Sutherland on Letterman, however, he is not clothed in a dress.
All digressions of dresses aside, the Rebster looks like he has something to say.
Johnny: I got somethin’ to say…
See? I told you.
Johnny: Lest anyone think that I am not takin’ things as seriously as perhaps I oughta, let me address some of the things that have been said recently as regards The New Confederacy.
Reb pauses, his brow furrowed as he collects his thoughts.
Johnny: Not that anythin’ of actual substance has been said. The purported opposition has been noisy an’ verbose, usin’ a plethora of words to make no legitimate point whatsoever. Take, for example, Mr. Evans; whose meanderin’ stream of consciousness – interrupted only by nonsensical affronts directed exclusively toward my colleague, Mr. Henry – can be likened to the River Lethe, in that, having listened to the logorrhea pouring from the man’s mouth, one becomes weary an’ forgetful within moments thereafter.
Indeed, simply talking about it seems to have had its effect on Johnny.
Johnny: Interestin’ly enough, the aforementioned mythical river of forgetfulness was named for the daughter of Eris, the goddess of strife and chaos. …Wait, what was the point I was tryin’ to make?
He tries to remember, and, failing to do so, shakes his head as if to clear it.
Johnny: It don’t matter none, really. Tonight, for the first time, The New Confederacy meets The Royal Family in the ring. Tonight, for the first time, The New Confederacy will overcome those selfsame rivals. But it won’t be the last time, an’ you can take that to the bank.
And so, content with having gotten that out of his system, The Inveterate Confederate gives the viewing audience a mock salute; fade to black.
Johnny Reb is dressed, as he is wont to do, in clothes. Unlike Keifer Sutherland on Letterman, however, he is not clothed in a dress.
All digressions of dresses aside, the Rebster looks like he has something to say.
Johnny: I got somethin’ to say…
See? I told you.
Johnny: Lest anyone think that I am not takin’ things as seriously as perhaps I oughta, let me address some of the things that have been said recently as regards The New Confederacy.
Reb pauses, his brow furrowed as he collects his thoughts.
Johnny: Not that anythin’ of actual substance has been said. The purported opposition has been noisy an’ verbose, usin’ a plethora of words to make no legitimate point whatsoever. Take, for example, Mr. Evans; whose meanderin’ stream of consciousness – interrupted only by nonsensical affronts directed exclusively toward my colleague, Mr. Henry – can be likened to the River Lethe, in that, having listened to the logorrhea pouring from the man’s mouth, one becomes weary an’ forgetful within moments thereafter.
Indeed, simply talking about it seems to have had its effect on Johnny.
Johnny: Interestin’ly enough, the aforementioned mythical river of forgetfulness was named for the daughter of Eris, the goddess of strife and chaos. …Wait, what was the point I was tryin’ to make?
He tries to remember, and, failing to do so, shakes his head as if to clear it.
Johnny: It don’t matter none, really. Tonight, for the first time, The New Confederacy meets The Royal Family in the ring. Tonight, for the first time, The New Confederacy will overcome those selfsame rivals. But it won’t be the last time, an’ you can take that to the bank.
And so, content with having gotten that out of his system, The Inveterate Confederate gives the viewing audience a mock salute; fade to black.