Post by whysoserious on Jan 9, 2010 18:59:39 GMT -5
Okay, I look into my camera, ready to record a promo for the fans who are waiting for one. Sure I would've gotten done earlier but my wife was so seductive and I couldn't help myself. I hope the fans don't mind the wait while I was getting some. Then again, some of the fans are lonely virgins who pretend to be a wrestler on the internet. What geeks. I see the light come on, letting me know its time to start.
"So this past Slam wasn't a whole lot of fun for me, as you could probably imagine. I mean kicked in the nuts, found out that I have a partner and I got dropped on my head. Not too mention that old retard trying to get my attention again. Christ is this the month of everyone going after Brad Kane? I don't think I've ever been as targeted as I am now. With Seth and Davey on my heels, I'm not that worried though. Both of them are a little, well, dumb.
We all know how I tricked Seth into his date with Hot Dog Mascot that apparently led to something a bit more so who knows. Did Seth really have sex with a guy in a hot dog suit? Is he really that desperate to dip his wick into something? Maybe that's how Ortega came back into this fold too. Not too sure though. But who is Chad Evans again, can someone remind me why he felt the need to hit me with a move that nearly knocked me out?"
Seriously, I don't know who Chad Evans is.
"No matter as the blockbuster announcement that concerned the main event at Ten was something that is still shaking the fan base to it's very core. I mean Seth had a good idea for just making it Torture versus Logan but come on, so many people have a problem with Torture how can you label the match on what might be the biggest WCF show ever to just one person. That's when I had the idea for that battle royal. Put in men that hate Torture, that want to see him die in a firey death.
Give them a chance to earn a shot at him. I mean it only makes sense to do that. Better business and it adds to the allure of the match. I reckon that Seth didn't have enough business sense to realize something like that so it was up to me to save the day. However, what I didn't like was that dumbass Creeping Death having to put his nose into the main event. The guy disappears for months at a time and somehow he gets let into the main event on a pay per view?:"
I shake my head, wondering how he got the power to do something like that. Its not even close to a XIII related event. Stupid Lerch and all of his dumb crap. If he knew how to run a promotion none of this would be happening right now. Its a fucking miracle we got this far. I smirk, picking up again.
"Oh well, suppose it makes sense as Logan, Creeping Death and Torture are three of the longest running members of the roster. So it does make sense they're all in this main event of the tenth anniversary show. But this battle royal that I created gives life for someone to make their way into this epic match and try to dethrone Torture from his perch. All these men, from Slickie to Mad, all of them have history with Torture and then some.
I mean take Rick Mad for instance. The guy has had problems with all three. His former partnership with Creeping Death before he joined the original ToT back in the day. His stuff with Logan and then Torture. I mean why wouldn't Rick Mad be a great fit for this main event match up. He's been in WCF for a long time himself but one thing holds him back from being a true player in the wrestling industry these days. Maybe its his lack of charisma that holds him from becoming something great.
Rick used to be something, former WCF World Champion himself when he beat Logan for it back in 2005 I think it was. Then again that was all a place of right place, right time. Logan was getting fired and Mad was there to pick the bone. So then he lost that same title to Creeping Death. So see how that all comes about with those two? Rick Mad has so much history with those three men in that main event."
I take a moment to collect my thoughts and think about a few of the other people in this match, who I want to go into next. I hate ripping into people so I'm trying to find the right words to say and how they relate into this match. Good thinking Brad. You are the commish so if you spew venom, its bad for your job.
"I should hate Johnny Reb because of our GWC era stuff but he's a damn fine wrestler in his own right. I'm proud to see him accomplish so many things here in WCF. World Champion, Tag Team Champion along with a few other accolades. Always knew the guy had the talent to get ahead in this business regardless of how I felt about him for a while in my career. Johnny, I'd be honored if you won this match because you have the potential to be a hall of famer here yourself in a few years.
Then who else is there? That Japanese fella? The name escapes me. Another damn fine wrestler though. Seriously, I assembled this group because of their abilities to get it done in the middle of the ring. I don't know why people are assuming its a horrible thing that I put myself into this match. I know that my chances of winning are the same as anyone else's and why can't I get into the middle of this thing? I have my own personal problems with Torture."
The son of a bitch did hit my wife last year. He needs to die.
"But for now, I want to address not Dake Ken, not anyone else but you Slickie T. You accused me of weasling my way into this match. Now I said I wouldn't give myself title shots, I gave myself a chance at a title shot, right? See the difference there? Slickie, you nearly upended Torture at the One pay per view. I was rooting for you to win it kid but you let the fans down and you let yourself down. Nothing hurts more then losing a title match you wanted to win oh so badly.
I've been there so many times in my career as I'm sure everyone else has. Its part of wrestling. But you know what Slickie, I can claim a win over Torture. It might not show in the record books but at Timebomb last year I pinned him in the middle of the goddamn ring. You can brag about taking down his ToT all you want but I pinned him, one on one. See, in my mind, I'm the WCF World Champion but the title was taken away from me because of Gravedigger's management.
The title went back to Torture and I was fired. So getting on the good side of Seth was my only way back in because of this. I've done what I had to do to get this far and believe me when I tell the entire locker room there isn't a thing I'm not willing to do to get my hands on Torture anytime, anywhere."
I wonder if anyone really knows how much I hate Torture. From the moment I laid eyes on him, I hated the guy. So much history between us.
"But Slickie, I feel your pain. I was Torture's first big title defense when he first won the World Title a few years back. I failed in my quest and I still haven't gave up. It took Torture years to get the belt, it took Dake Ken years to win the belt. It took everyone years to win this belt if they've been in WCF longer then a year. I've been in this promotion since 2004. This is my home promotion. This is where I made my name and I'll be damned if I'm going to be on the outside looking in at the Ten main event.
I deserve this just as anyone else does. Damn near six years I've been here in one way or another. Guys like Creeping Death and Logan have been here longer. So you see, Slickie, Mad, Johnny, Japanese Guy, Dake and whoever else I put into this match. I need this win. I need to be in the main event at Ten to prove to myself that I'm one of the best this company still has to offer. No matter what though, gentlemen, the winner of this match will be rightfully placed because he earned it.
And that, my friends, is why I made this match. The other two contenders were placed. At least one of us earned the right to be in the match. But I know that'll be me."
And that's all I needed to say. I walk over and shut the camera off.
"So this past Slam wasn't a whole lot of fun for me, as you could probably imagine. I mean kicked in the nuts, found out that I have a partner and I got dropped on my head. Not too mention that old retard trying to get my attention again. Christ is this the month of everyone going after Brad Kane? I don't think I've ever been as targeted as I am now. With Seth and Davey on my heels, I'm not that worried though. Both of them are a little, well, dumb.
We all know how I tricked Seth into his date with Hot Dog Mascot that apparently led to something a bit more so who knows. Did Seth really have sex with a guy in a hot dog suit? Is he really that desperate to dip his wick into something? Maybe that's how Ortega came back into this fold too. Not too sure though. But who is Chad Evans again, can someone remind me why he felt the need to hit me with a move that nearly knocked me out?"
Seriously, I don't know who Chad Evans is.
"No matter as the blockbuster announcement that concerned the main event at Ten was something that is still shaking the fan base to it's very core. I mean Seth had a good idea for just making it Torture versus Logan but come on, so many people have a problem with Torture how can you label the match on what might be the biggest WCF show ever to just one person. That's when I had the idea for that battle royal. Put in men that hate Torture, that want to see him die in a firey death.
Give them a chance to earn a shot at him. I mean it only makes sense to do that. Better business and it adds to the allure of the match. I reckon that Seth didn't have enough business sense to realize something like that so it was up to me to save the day. However, what I didn't like was that dumbass Creeping Death having to put his nose into the main event. The guy disappears for months at a time and somehow he gets let into the main event on a pay per view?:"
I shake my head, wondering how he got the power to do something like that. Its not even close to a XIII related event. Stupid Lerch and all of his dumb crap. If he knew how to run a promotion none of this would be happening right now. Its a fucking miracle we got this far. I smirk, picking up again.
"Oh well, suppose it makes sense as Logan, Creeping Death and Torture are three of the longest running members of the roster. So it does make sense they're all in this main event of the tenth anniversary show. But this battle royal that I created gives life for someone to make their way into this epic match and try to dethrone Torture from his perch. All these men, from Slickie to Mad, all of them have history with Torture and then some.
I mean take Rick Mad for instance. The guy has had problems with all three. His former partnership with Creeping Death before he joined the original ToT back in the day. His stuff with Logan and then Torture. I mean why wouldn't Rick Mad be a great fit for this main event match up. He's been in WCF for a long time himself but one thing holds him back from being a true player in the wrestling industry these days. Maybe its his lack of charisma that holds him from becoming something great.
Rick used to be something, former WCF World Champion himself when he beat Logan for it back in 2005 I think it was. Then again that was all a place of right place, right time. Logan was getting fired and Mad was there to pick the bone. So then he lost that same title to Creeping Death. So see how that all comes about with those two? Rick Mad has so much history with those three men in that main event."
I take a moment to collect my thoughts and think about a few of the other people in this match, who I want to go into next. I hate ripping into people so I'm trying to find the right words to say and how they relate into this match. Good thinking Brad. You are the commish so if you spew venom, its bad for your job.
"I should hate Johnny Reb because of our GWC era stuff but he's a damn fine wrestler in his own right. I'm proud to see him accomplish so many things here in WCF. World Champion, Tag Team Champion along with a few other accolades. Always knew the guy had the talent to get ahead in this business regardless of how I felt about him for a while in my career. Johnny, I'd be honored if you won this match because you have the potential to be a hall of famer here yourself in a few years.
Then who else is there? That Japanese fella? The name escapes me. Another damn fine wrestler though. Seriously, I assembled this group because of their abilities to get it done in the middle of the ring. I don't know why people are assuming its a horrible thing that I put myself into this match. I know that my chances of winning are the same as anyone else's and why can't I get into the middle of this thing? I have my own personal problems with Torture."
The son of a bitch did hit my wife last year. He needs to die.
"But for now, I want to address not Dake Ken, not anyone else but you Slickie T. You accused me of weasling my way into this match. Now I said I wouldn't give myself title shots, I gave myself a chance at a title shot, right? See the difference there? Slickie, you nearly upended Torture at the One pay per view. I was rooting for you to win it kid but you let the fans down and you let yourself down. Nothing hurts more then losing a title match you wanted to win oh so badly.
I've been there so many times in my career as I'm sure everyone else has. Its part of wrestling. But you know what Slickie, I can claim a win over Torture. It might not show in the record books but at Timebomb last year I pinned him in the middle of the goddamn ring. You can brag about taking down his ToT all you want but I pinned him, one on one. See, in my mind, I'm the WCF World Champion but the title was taken away from me because of Gravedigger's management.
The title went back to Torture and I was fired. So getting on the good side of Seth was my only way back in because of this. I've done what I had to do to get this far and believe me when I tell the entire locker room there isn't a thing I'm not willing to do to get my hands on Torture anytime, anywhere."
I wonder if anyone really knows how much I hate Torture. From the moment I laid eyes on him, I hated the guy. So much history between us.
"But Slickie, I feel your pain. I was Torture's first big title defense when he first won the World Title a few years back. I failed in my quest and I still haven't gave up. It took Torture years to get the belt, it took Dake Ken years to win the belt. It took everyone years to win this belt if they've been in WCF longer then a year. I've been in this promotion since 2004. This is my home promotion. This is where I made my name and I'll be damned if I'm going to be on the outside looking in at the Ten main event.
I deserve this just as anyone else does. Damn near six years I've been here in one way or another. Guys like Creeping Death and Logan have been here longer. So you see, Slickie, Mad, Johnny, Japanese Guy, Dake and whoever else I put into this match. I need this win. I need to be in the main event at Ten to prove to myself that I'm one of the best this company still has to offer. No matter what though, gentlemen, the winner of this match will be rightfully placed because he earned it.
And that, my friends, is why I made this match. The other two contenders were placed. At least one of us earned the right to be in the match. But I know that'll be me."
And that's all I needed to say. I walk over and shut the camera off.
