Post by VOID on Dec 16, 2009 20:13:29 GMT -5
The Wcf Promotional Department
--------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------
The scene opens inside a brightly lit conference room with large windows overlooking a picturesque city skyline. The oblong table that dominates the room is crowded with men and women in upscale business attire. Albert Vines sits at the head of the table and addresses his staff.
Mr. Vines: Alright, I believe everyone is here so lets not waste any time. As you know, the WcF has hired us, The Vines Marketing Group, to come up with a marketing campaign to promote their biggest pay-per-view show entitled "One". I know many of you have paired up with some of their fighters and are very excited to show us what you've come up with. So, I'm gonna just start here on the end and go around the table.
Mr. Vines motions to the man and woman to his left. Lisa Burts and Tim J. Dimple stand up and walk to the front of the room below a obscenely large plasma television.
Lisa: Hi, well, Tim and I were paired up with WcF's current Hardcore Champion and using his status as a springboard we naturally thought of our classic commercials for "Grandma's Hardcore Cider"
The television above them blinks on and a montage of vintage commercials begins to play. You watch as an elderly woman kick-flips a skateboard and rail-slides down a flight of steps.
Tim: We have watched "Grandma" do everything from skydive to "ghost-riding the whip" down a busy interstate.
Lisa: Our idea was to set-up a mock fight between Mr.Greenfever, however it didn't go exactly as we planned.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The television switches to a scene with "Grandma" squaring off in a steel cage in front of Greenfever. She cracks her knuckles and rolls her neck. Greenfever leans against the metal cage digging dried blood out of his finger-nails, seemingly uninterested.
Voice-over: With the vitamin's packed into every can of "Grandma's Hardcore Cider" This little lady has the power to take on anyone! Including WcF's reigning Hardcore Champion Greenfever!"
Grandma turns up the can and chugs it down hungrily. She thrusts the empty can up to the screen for a close up as she wipes her wrinkly face.
A bell rings and Grandma taunts Greenfever, waving her brittle arms.
Grandma: C'mon big boy! Come get some.
Grandma kisses her non-existent biceps.
Greenfever suddenly rushes into the shot catching the elderly woman with a sickening right cross. The woman's face makes an ugly, wet, breaking sound as she collapses. Greenfever stands above her for a moment, then returns to picking grime out of his fingernails.
The "Grandma's Hardcore Cider" logo zooms in covering the screen.
Voice-over: " GRANDMA'S HARDCORE CIDER! IT GET'S YOU CRUNK!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tim: I think we salvaged enough of it to make the commercial.
Mr. Vines: Did I just watch an elderly woman get murdered?
Lisa: Oh no, She is currently on life support. No need to worry though, that was actually the 4th incarnation of "Grandma". As you will recall we lost 2 "Grandma's" during the "sword-swallowing back-flip" stunt of 01'. We already have a brand new Grandma lined up.
Mr.Vines: Gotcha. That campaign moved a lot of product. What else ya got?
Tim: While waiting for the replacement Grandma to arrive we shot a few candid minis. However, it was slow going. He refuses to read the cue cards. He just says whatever is on the top of his head. Take a look.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Greenfever's blood-stained face dominates the television screen. He takes a drink and smiles broadly in approval.
Greenfever: You know what goes great with "Grandma's Hardcore Cider? Pig Brains."
He gives an enthusiastic double thumbs up as the logo swings in over the scene. Another one begins immediately after.
In this one Greenfever drinks an entire glass of the brownish liquid and lets out a satisfying "Aaah".
"It gives me the energy to maim and murder!"
Greenfever smiles largely and a digital twinkle emits from his dirty smile as he winks ironically.
The screen goes back to black.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mr.Vines: Does he have to be so blood-drenched? He looks like a f*cking hobo drinking urine.
He leans back in his chair and folds his arms in disappointment as Tim and Lisa sit back down in shame.
Mr.Vines: Alright, what else do we have?
