Post by beyond on Jul 7, 2006 20:07:22 GMT -5
(The scene opens to show outside the front window of a moving vehicle. Cars zoom by as a voice speaks.)
Voice: Ok, we have the plan down, right?
Voice 2: Um, I could use a bit of a refresher.
Voice 1: Fred! I’ve told you three times already! (taking a deep breath to calm down) Alright, we have gotten a report that new WCF wrestler Beyond is currently eating at a nearby KFC. We are to pull in, run inside, and sit down at his table before he can make a get away. We want that first exclusive interview with him. Fred, you’re the camera guy, so make sure you don’t drop the thing this time. Ralph, you are the driver. Get us as close to the door of the place as you can before you stop. Everyone know their roles?
Voices: Yes sir!
Voice 1: Good, here it comes.
(The vehicle starts to slow down as it nears a KFC on the right. Turning into the parking lot, it pulls into a parking space right in front of the main door. The camera rocks a bit as the man carrying it climbs out. In front of him runs Hank Brown, WCF reporter, carrying a microphone. Hank runs up to the door and opens it, dashing inside as the cameraman follows, like some weird version of the show Cops. The camera turns to look around the room, seeing various people sitting at their tables, looking up startled at how the two men just burst into the room. It stops on a man with a baseball cap and shades on to hide his identity. Hank moves closer as the man lets out a sigh and removes both, revealing himself to be Beyond.)
Hank: So our tip off was correct it looks like.
Beyond: I can’t get a moment of peace since I joined this damn company. If you wanted an interview so bad, you could just have asked.
Hank (taking a seat across from Beyond): I could have, but that takes some of the fun out of it.
(Beyond rolls his eyes some as he slides a chicken sandwich to the side.)
Beyond: Alright then, let’s get this over with so I can get back to my Crispy Twister.
Hank: Speaking of Twister, he seems to be extremely confident going into this debut match. He even spoke about how he was slightly beyond…
Beyond (interrupting him): Yeah yeah, how he is slightly beyond our talent, how he can mow over the competition, and how he can destroy plates made of chino. Its guys like him who make me wish this company would hire writers to do their promos.
Hank: I don’t think hiring a writer could make a promo for the wrestlers here. They would be devoid of the passion and drive that a WCF wrestler needs.
Beyond: I actually agree with that, except in cases where the best that a wrestler can do is talk about how happy he is to be back and then stick in a couple half-assed cheesy lines about how he thinks he is better than everyone else. If I wanted to hear someone say how happy they were, I would watch the Miss America Beauty Pageant, because at least that way I’ll get to see some fine women in tight revealing clothing.
Hank: Alright then, but what do you think about his claim of being slightly beyond your talent?
Beyond: I think that if the guy is going to give a speech to tons of reporters, he should at least tell them the truth. He isn’t beyond my talent…hell; he isn’t even half of my talent. I watched some DVD’s of some of his previous matches in Twisted Elements. Trust me when I say that Twister is only as good as whom he is partnered with, and since he has no partner in this match, then he’s no good.
Hank: Onto another one of your opponents, Lawnmower Jones…
Beyond (interrupting again): Looks to be a completely freak. I do have to give him credit though, because he must be one of the most hardcore people alive in order to do what it looked like he did. I don’t even think that is something they would have shown on Japanese television.
Hank (nodding his head): Finally, your opponent Chino hasn’t said a word yet into who he is or his plans for the show. Anything to say about him?
(Beyond chuckles a bit as he leans back some.)
Beyond: So far, it looks like Chino is scared of his big debut. I mean, I can’t blame the guy. It must be so scary to step out in front of that crowd and be subjected to their cheers or jeers. He just better be ready for the show or else, he could regret ever even signing a contract for the WCF.
Hank: One last question before I leave you to your meal. In the official statistics of the entire roster, you measure in to be only 5’9”, the shortest wrestler on the WCF roster. Do you have anything to say about that?
Beyond: I could say that size doesn’t matter. I could even say that big things come in small packages. I won’t lie to you and say that is the case. You see, the thing with me is that I am so talented, so skilled in the ring that size becomes a minor point. I am the single most talented wrestler on the entire roster and that is all I need. This Sunday, I’m going to be in a four corners match where my three opponents are 6’3”, 6’4”, and a huge 7’2” beast. Does that intimidate me? No. Does that scare me? Not at all. What you don’t understand Hank is that going into this match, I have one advantage that none of them have. I am smarter than the guy who is in a romantic relationship with his lawnmower. I am smarter than the guy who is named after a movie about tornado chasers. And, I am smarter than the only man taller than 7 feet in the WCF and is too afraid to show his face.
(Beyond leans forward a bit towards Hank, looking at him a bit angrily.)
Beyond: Now, will you please get your ass out of here so I can finish my meal and then get back to training for my match this Sunday?
(Hank nods his head and stands up, a bit afraid of getting hurt if he stays any longer. The camera man backs up slowly as Beyond reaches over and picks up his Crispy Twister. Beyond takes a bite of his sandwich as the scene fades to black.)
Voice: Ok, we have the plan down, right?
Voice 2: Um, I could use a bit of a refresher.
Voice 1: Fred! I’ve told you three times already! (taking a deep breath to calm down) Alright, we have gotten a report that new WCF wrestler Beyond is currently eating at a nearby KFC. We are to pull in, run inside, and sit down at his table before he can make a get away. We want that first exclusive interview with him. Fred, you’re the camera guy, so make sure you don’t drop the thing this time. Ralph, you are the driver. Get us as close to the door of the place as you can before you stop. Everyone know their roles?
Voices: Yes sir!
Voice 1: Good, here it comes.
(The vehicle starts to slow down as it nears a KFC on the right. Turning into the parking lot, it pulls into a parking space right in front of the main door. The camera rocks a bit as the man carrying it climbs out. In front of him runs Hank Brown, WCF reporter, carrying a microphone. Hank runs up to the door and opens it, dashing inside as the cameraman follows, like some weird version of the show Cops. The camera turns to look around the room, seeing various people sitting at their tables, looking up startled at how the two men just burst into the room. It stops on a man with a baseball cap and shades on to hide his identity. Hank moves closer as the man lets out a sigh and removes both, revealing himself to be Beyond.)
Hank: So our tip off was correct it looks like.
Beyond: I can’t get a moment of peace since I joined this damn company. If you wanted an interview so bad, you could just have asked.
Hank (taking a seat across from Beyond): I could have, but that takes some of the fun out of it.
(Beyond rolls his eyes some as he slides a chicken sandwich to the side.)
Beyond: Alright then, let’s get this over with so I can get back to my Crispy Twister.
Hank: Speaking of Twister, he seems to be extremely confident going into this debut match. He even spoke about how he was slightly beyond…
Beyond (interrupting him): Yeah yeah, how he is slightly beyond our talent, how he can mow over the competition, and how he can destroy plates made of chino. Its guys like him who make me wish this company would hire writers to do their promos.
Hank: I don’t think hiring a writer could make a promo for the wrestlers here. They would be devoid of the passion and drive that a WCF wrestler needs.
Beyond: I actually agree with that, except in cases where the best that a wrestler can do is talk about how happy he is to be back and then stick in a couple half-assed cheesy lines about how he thinks he is better than everyone else. If I wanted to hear someone say how happy they were, I would watch the Miss America Beauty Pageant, because at least that way I’ll get to see some fine women in tight revealing clothing.
Hank: Alright then, but what do you think about his claim of being slightly beyond your talent?
Beyond: I think that if the guy is going to give a speech to tons of reporters, he should at least tell them the truth. He isn’t beyond my talent…hell; he isn’t even half of my talent. I watched some DVD’s of some of his previous matches in Twisted Elements. Trust me when I say that Twister is only as good as whom he is partnered with, and since he has no partner in this match, then he’s no good.
Hank: Onto another one of your opponents, Lawnmower Jones…
Beyond (interrupting again): Looks to be a completely freak. I do have to give him credit though, because he must be one of the most hardcore people alive in order to do what it looked like he did. I don’t even think that is something they would have shown on Japanese television.
Hank (nodding his head): Finally, your opponent Chino hasn’t said a word yet into who he is or his plans for the show. Anything to say about him?
(Beyond chuckles a bit as he leans back some.)
Beyond: So far, it looks like Chino is scared of his big debut. I mean, I can’t blame the guy. It must be so scary to step out in front of that crowd and be subjected to their cheers or jeers. He just better be ready for the show or else, he could regret ever even signing a contract for the WCF.
Hank: One last question before I leave you to your meal. In the official statistics of the entire roster, you measure in to be only 5’9”, the shortest wrestler on the WCF roster. Do you have anything to say about that?
Beyond: I could say that size doesn’t matter. I could even say that big things come in small packages. I won’t lie to you and say that is the case. You see, the thing with me is that I am so talented, so skilled in the ring that size becomes a minor point. I am the single most talented wrestler on the entire roster and that is all I need. This Sunday, I’m going to be in a four corners match where my three opponents are 6’3”, 6’4”, and a huge 7’2” beast. Does that intimidate me? No. Does that scare me? Not at all. What you don’t understand Hank is that going into this match, I have one advantage that none of them have. I am smarter than the guy who is in a romantic relationship with his lawnmower. I am smarter than the guy who is named after a movie about tornado chasers. And, I am smarter than the only man taller than 7 feet in the WCF and is too afraid to show his face.
(Beyond leans forward a bit towards Hank, looking at him a bit angrily.)
Beyond: Now, will you please get your ass out of here so I can finish my meal and then get back to training for my match this Sunday?
(Hank nods his head and stands up, a bit afraid of getting hurt if he stays any longer. The camera man backs up slowly as Beyond reaches over and picks up his Crispy Twister. Beyond takes a bite of his sandwich as the scene fades to black.)
