Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2009 2:13:04 GMT -5
Friday Night
Police Officer #1: Get your hands up! Don't even think about moving!
Outside of a crowded nightclub in South Philadelphia, WCF wrestler Jay Price is surrounded by a crowd of people and half a dozen police officers, each with their weapons drawn.
Price: Fuck me...
Four Hours Earlier
Inside of his home Jay Price is sitting on his couch talking on his cell phone.
Price: Man I'm serious I really don't feel like going out tonight.
*Pause as Price listens to his friend on the other end of the conversation*
Price: I know it's a hot club but I don't want to go out tonight.
*Pause*
Price: Fine I'll meet you there.
Three Hours Later
Jay Price is relaxing in a booth by himself in Philly's hottest new nightclub sipping on a Captain and Coke, enjoying the beautiful sites around him. In particular is a young brunette drinking with her friends at the bar. All of Price's friends are scattered about the club trying to get a piece of ass for tonight, but Price is too smart to go about it that way. He knows that women don't want a guy stalking them about the club, trying to spit out the same old lines that they've heard for years. Tonight he's elected to go all out with his attire, rather than the skinny jeans and t-shirts that most of the other "men" in the club are wearing. Instead he's wearing a pair of black jeans, a black button down Georgio Armani dress shirt and a pair of white Air Force One's. The brunette that he has been checking out finally decides to act first and walks over to his table.
Brunette: Mind if I join you?
Price (acting uninterested): Sure why not.
Brunette: So this place is pretty crowded huh?
Price: Looks that way.
Brunette: Do you like to dance? I love dancing.
Price: Not really all that into dancing to this shit they call "music".
Brunette: Oh. Well ummm...So what's your name? I'm Erin.
Price: Jay.
Erin: Nice to meet you Jay.
Price (still looking uninterested): Likewise.
Erin: So my friends and I were over there talking and they all swear that they've seen you somewhere before. Do you come here a lot?
Price: Nope, first time here.
Erin: Hhmm..they seemed so sure that they've seen you before.
Price looks over at her friends who are all watching them.
Price: They got boyfriends?
Erin: Umm..yea.
Price: Any of them wrestling fans?
Erin: I think so.
Price: Well there you go.
Erin (yelling towards her friends): OMG! OMG! You guys!
Price holds his hands up to his ears as Erin's high pitched squeals to her friends makes his ears bleed. As she runs off to tell her friends, Price downs the last of his drink and slips out of the booth attempting a getaway. As he gets a few steps away from the table a hand grabs his arm and spins him around. The hand on his arm belongs to a scrawny fellow who has a rather pissed off expression on his face.
Scrawny Fellow: What the hell where you doing talking to my woman?
Price: The fuck are you talking about.
Scrawny Fellow points to Erin.
S.F.: That's my fiancee and I saw you eyeing her up. Who the hell do you think you are?
Price: I'm the guy that's going to snap your arm in half if you don't let go of me.
S.F.: Is that so? Well I'd like to see you fuc....
Price punches the smaller man in the face and he drops to the ground.
Price: See all you had to do was let go and everything would have been okay. But look at you now. You're on the ground with your nose busted and bleeding all over youself.
Price turns back towards the door shaking his head and sees two rather large and angry bouncers headed his way.
Price: Fuck me.
Bouncer #1: Sir you're going to have to come with us.
Price: Whatever.
Bouncer #2 places his hand on Price's shoulder and attempts to lead him out of the club. Price stops and turns his head to the hand on his shoulder.
Price: Would you mind not touching me.
Bouncer #2: Look tough guy, we can do this the hard way or the easy way.
Price: Well I was planning on doing it the easy way, but if you plan on keeping your hand there then I have no problem making things difficult for you.
Bouncer #2 tightens his grip on Price's shoulder.
Price: Fine by me.
Price throws an elbow at Bouncer #2's face and kicks Bouncer #1 in the stomach. Chaos ensues as everyone in the club scrambles for the door as Price and the bouncers continue brawling. More bouncers head towards the fight and Price's friends join in.
Fifteen Minutes Later
Price and his friends make their way to the door and head out into the night.
Police Officer #1: Get your hands up! Don't even think about moving!
Price is surrounded by a large crowd of people and half a dozen police officers, each with their weapons drawn.
Price: Fuck me.
Price and his two friends all put their hands in the air and the officers move in slowly to put them in handcuffs. Once Price is restrained, two officers guide him to the backseat of a cruiser while a third officer reads him his rights.
Officer #3: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say ca...
Price: Your mother's a whore.
Officer #3: What?
Price: You said I had the right to remain silent. I prefer to ignore that one and say the first thing that comes to mind.
Officer #3: You ignorant son of a bitch. Get him out of here, Now!
The two officers throw Price into the back of the cruiser roughly and slam the door behind him. Price sits up in the seat with a grin on his face as the officers get in and they drive off.
Saturday Morning: 10 A.M.
After spending the night in jail Jay Price is inside of a courtroom standing before a rather angry looking judge. Seated behind Price is a team of lawyers, hired by Torture and Seth Lerch specifically for Price because of his history of violence and because they're the best on the east coast.
Judge: Mr. Price do you honestly think that you're actions last night were amusing? Do you think that just because you're a celebrity you can do whatever the hell you want? Well not in my court mister. Expect the full extent of the law to come down on you.
Thirty Minutes Later
Price and his lawyers all come out of the court room smiling and laughing about their easy victory.
Price: I swear, I don't know where Lerch found you lying, cheating, devious mother fuckers but damn. I still don't know how you convinced the judge that the bouncers started the whole fight and that I was merely acting in self defense.
Lawyer #1: Mr. Price it's what we do for a living. You should know by now, you can never trust anything that a lawyer says.
Saturday Night
Price is relaxing in his home watching TV, having decided against going out after last night's fun. Lounging on his couch in a pair of black basketball shorts and a white beater, Price flips through the channels trying to find something worth watching.
Price: Chick flick..chick flick..Desperate Housewives..Hannah Montana.....what the hell, since when did Saturday night become "Must-Be-Logan TV"? Ah here we go, Saturday Night Live.
Price munches on a bag of doritos and occasionally takes a swig of beer from the six pack on the table beside him. Eventually he ends up drifting off to sleep and starts dreaming.
Random Dream Sequence
Price awakens in an urban wasteland wearing the same clothes that he was wearing before he fell asleep, except now he has on a pair of running shoes. Price looks around at the scene that surrounds him. Buildings are collapsed, cars overturned and trash litters the empty streets. The only light that is shining down on the streets is that of the neon signs signaling the occasional gun, liquor or porn store.
Price: What the fuck? How did I end up in Mexico?
Price begins wandering the streets in search of some clue of how he ended up in this shithole. Behind him a figure runs through the shadows. Price turns but the figure is gone.
Price: Oh I see. This isn't Mexico, it's the land of lame horror movie cliches. What's next, some seven foot tall freak with a hockey mask?
Price continues walking down the empty street, occasionally looking throught the windows of the stores. Oddly enough, all the lights are on inside of the stores and people are in them, but the doors are all boarded up. Behind Price a figure once again runs through the shadows.
Price: Okay this shit is already getting old. Whoever is out there just save yourself an asskicking and come out now.
A lone figure emerges from the shadows and walks up to Price. The figure is an older gentlemen dressed in rags. The hair remaining on his head in white, as is his long scraggly beard, and he reeks badly of b.o.
Smelly: Please don't harm me sir. It's just, we never see people out on the streets at night and we were worried you may have been sent by HIM to spy on us.
Price: HIM? Who, the random band that appeared out of nowhere, sucked, and then everyone lost interest in?
Smelly (looking confused): You mean you don't know of HIM? The one that we are never to speak the name of?
Price: What the hell are you talking about? Did I land in some bad Harry Potter rip-off?
Smelly: Harry Potter?
Price: Yeah he's some character from a book that nerds like to idolize and pretend to be like.
Smelly: Books? You mean you know how to read?
Price: Yeah I can read.
Smelly (with a look of awe): Then you sir are a god among us. For we are all poor and are therefore unable to afford things like books or schools.
Price: Yep, defiently going to stick with the "I somehow landed in Mexico" theory. Anyway there Smelly, what can you tell me about this HIM you fear.
Smelly: Well a few years ago a ruthless dictator gained control of our small village. He took all of our able bodied men and put them in chains before taking them off to his castle outside of his city. Those of us that weren't chosen to go with him, the women, the children, and the elderly, we were all left here to die from either hunger or disease. His guards routinely patrol the city streets, searching for any signs of a resistance against him. If they find any traces of one, they kill them on the spot. However we have been able to band together secretly to form a resistance underground in the sewars. And now with you here, I think that we may finally have a chance to take back what was once ours.
Price: Whoa whoa. I feel bad for you all but I'm not here to lead some resistance. In fact, I don't know why I'm here but I'm damn sure that isn't the reason. The only thing I'm going to do is find out how the hell I can get home and then do just that.
Smelly: But you mus...
Gunfire erupts as a swarm of soldiers dressed up in high-tech armor and weapons surround Price and Smelly.
Price: Great.
Soldier #1: Identify yourselves.
Price: Go fuck yourself.
Soldier #1: Identify yourself. Now.
Price: Fuck Y...
A second soldier steps up behind Price and hits him in the back of the head with the butt of his weapon. Price drops to the ground and the soldiers drag them to their vehicle.
Price: What the fuck? How did I end up in Mexico?
Price begins wandering the streets in search of some clue of how he ended up in this shithole. Behind him a figure runs through the shadows. Price turns but the figure is gone.
Price: Oh I see. This isn't Mexico, it's the land of lame horror movie cliches. What's next, some seven foot tall freak with a hockey mask?
Price continues walking down the empty street, occasionally looking throught the windows of the stores. Oddly enough, all the lights are on inside of the stores and people are in them, but the doors are all boarded up. Behind Price a figure once again runs through the shadows.
Price: Okay this shit is already getting old. Whoever is out there just save yourself an asskicking and come out now.
A lone figure emerges from the shadows and walks up to Price. The figure is an older gentlemen dressed in rags. The hair remaining on his head in white, as is his long scraggly beard, and he reeks badly of b.o.
Smelly: Please don't harm me sir. It's just, we never see people out on the streets at night and we were worried you may have been sent by HIM to spy on us.
Price: HIM? Who, the random band that appeared out of nowhere, sucked, and then everyone lost interest in?
Smelly (looking confused): You mean you don't know of HIM? The one that we are never to speak the name of?
Price: What the hell are you talking about? Did I land in some bad Harry Potter rip-off?
Smelly: Harry Potter?
Price: Yeah he's some character from a book that nerds like to idolize and pretend to be like.
Smelly: Books? You mean you know how to read?
Price: Yeah I can read.
Smelly (with a look of awe): Then you sir are a god among us. For we are all poor and are therefore unable to afford things like books or schools.
Price: Yep, defiently going to stick with the "I somehow landed in Mexico" theory. Anyway there Smelly, what can you tell me about this HIM you fear.
Smelly: Well a few years ago a ruthless dictator gained control of our small village. He took all of our able bodied men and put them in chains before taking them off to his castle outside of his city. Those of us that weren't chosen to go with him, the women, the children, and the elderly, we were all left here to die from either hunger or disease. His guards routinely patrol the city streets, searching for any signs of a resistance against him. If they find any traces of one, they kill them on the spot. However we have been able to band together secretly to form a resistance underground in the sewars. And now with you here, I think that we may finally have a chance to take back what was once ours.
Price: Whoa whoa. I feel bad for you all but I'm not here to lead some resistance. In fact, I don't know why I'm here but I'm damn sure that isn't the reason. The only thing I'm going to do is find out how the hell I can get home and then do just that.
Smelly: But you mus...
Gunfire erupts as a swarm of soldiers dressed up in high-tech armor and weapons surround Price and Smelly.
Price: Great.
Soldier #1: Identify yourselves.
Price: Go fuck yourself.
Soldier #1: Identify yourself. Now.
Price: Fuck Y...
A second soldier steps up behind Price and hits him in the back of the head with the butt of his weapon. Price drops to the ground and the soldiers drag them to their vehicle.
Short While Later
Soldier #1: Wake up you fool. The King demands your presence in his court for sentencing.
Price: Tell you what. Come back in about fifteen minutes. I was about this close to closing the deal with Kelly Kelly in this dream I was having.
The Soldier hits Price in the stomach with the butt of the rifle before aiming it at his head.
Soldier #1: Get up now before I put a bullet between your eyes.
Price: Spoil sport.
Price gets up and the Soldier roughly leads him through the dark hallways of the Kings dungeon. After climbing several flights of stairs Price arrives in a large room with colorful walls and fountains. The floors are all marble and sitting in the center of the room in an oversized, plush throne sits the King.
Price: You have to be fucking kidding me.
The "King" is a giant Hot Dog with a crown on it's "head". It has no arms, legs, eyes or nose, just a mouth.
King H.D.: You are being charged with conspiring to lead a resistance against my rule. How do you plead.
Price: Are you serious? I have to explain myself to a Hot Dog?
The crowd of guards in the room all gasp.
Soldier #1: How dare you mock our King with such language.
King H.D.: That will be enough from you Soldier. Now you, stranger, how do you plead to the charges against you.
Price: You got me Kingy. I was in on it the whole damn time. So what's my punishment? You going to make me rub ketchup on your back? Maybe slave away in the kitchen in front of a hot oven as I toast your Magic Bun Robe?
King H.D.: You continue to mock me as I sit here deciding your fate? You are easi...
Price: Excuse me but "Sit"? I wouldn't call that "sitting".
King H.D.: Silence! For your continued disobedience I sentence you to death by execution. Execution by El Creepo Stupido in a fight to the death.
The Soldiers/Guards once again all gasp in unison. Price chuckles to himself at the name.
Price: Well then let's get this shit over with.
The King motions to a guard standing beside a large wooden door with several padlocks and deadbolts on it. As the guard works on unlocking the door Price removes his white beater and cracks his knuckles as he awaits "El Creepo Stupido". The door's open and out walks the "Kings" best fighter. The supposed best fighter in the land. The fighter that is in fact...
Price: It's a....dildo.......in a mask?
And it is just that. Price's opponent is a six foot, six inch tall dildo with arms and legs. And the dildo is wearing a mask..a black mask with a white skull on the front.
Price: It's official, I have now seen it all.
El Creepo Stupido lets out a might roar from it's "mouth" and charges awkwardly at Price. Price runs toward an open window and looks out it. There is no escaping as the King's castle sits high above the city on a steep mountain slope. Below the window sits rows of jagged rocks at least a hundred feet down. Price turns back and the giant dildo is running right at him. Price looks around looking for something to use but sees nothing. Then Price has an idea and as the dildo closes in on him Price steps off to the side and sticks his foot out. The giant dildo trips over the foot and goes right out the open window and down onto the jagged rocks.
Price: Well that wasn't hard at all.
The Soldiers/Guards all gasp in shock. The Hot Dog King is speechless as he realizes that his greatest warrior was just beaten with ease by this mere mortal in his kingdom. Price walks right up to the King and bitch slaps him in his "face" before taking the crown off of his head and pushing him to the ground.
Price: Take note bitches, you all have a new King. And as my first order of business, I want this (Price points to the former Hot Dog King) piece of shit taken outside and roasted above a large fire. Tonight you shall all dine like royalty..seeing as how he was royalty. Next, I want the one known as Stinky released from the dungeon downstairs and brought to me. He will be a member of my court and in charge of all of you. Furthermor....
Price: Tell you what. Come back in about fifteen minutes. I was about this close to closing the deal with Kelly Kelly in this dream I was having.
The Soldier hits Price in the stomach with the butt of the rifle before aiming it at his head.
Soldier #1: Get up now before I put a bullet between your eyes.
Price: Spoil sport.
Price gets up and the Soldier roughly leads him through the dark hallways of the Kings dungeon. After climbing several flights of stairs Price arrives in a large room with colorful walls and fountains. The floors are all marble and sitting in the center of the room in an oversized, plush throne sits the King.
Price: You have to be fucking kidding me.
The "King" is a giant Hot Dog with a crown on it's "head". It has no arms, legs, eyes or nose, just a mouth.
King H.D.: You are being charged with conspiring to lead a resistance against my rule. How do you plead.
Price: Are you serious? I have to explain myself to a Hot Dog?
The crowd of guards in the room all gasp.
Soldier #1: How dare you mock our King with such language.
King H.D.: That will be enough from you Soldier. Now you, stranger, how do you plead to the charges against you.
Price: You got me Kingy. I was in on it the whole damn time. So what's my punishment? You going to make me rub ketchup on your back? Maybe slave away in the kitchen in front of a hot oven as I toast your Magic Bun Robe?
King H.D.: You continue to mock me as I sit here deciding your fate? You are easi...
Price: Excuse me but "Sit"? I wouldn't call that "sitting".
King H.D.: Silence! For your continued disobedience I sentence you to death by execution. Execution by El Creepo Stupido in a fight to the death.
The Soldiers/Guards once again all gasp in unison. Price chuckles to himself at the name.
Price: Well then let's get this shit over with.
The King motions to a guard standing beside a large wooden door with several padlocks and deadbolts on it. As the guard works on unlocking the door Price removes his white beater and cracks his knuckles as he awaits "El Creepo Stupido". The door's open and out walks the "Kings" best fighter. The supposed best fighter in the land. The fighter that is in fact...
Price: It's a....dildo.......in a mask?
And it is just that. Price's opponent is a six foot, six inch tall dildo with arms and legs. And the dildo is wearing a mask..a black mask with a white skull on the front.
Price: It's official, I have now seen it all.
El Creepo Stupido lets out a might roar from it's "mouth" and charges awkwardly at Price. Price runs toward an open window and looks out it. There is no escaping as the King's castle sits high above the city on a steep mountain slope. Below the window sits rows of jagged rocks at least a hundred feet down. Price turns back and the giant dildo is running right at him. Price looks around looking for something to use but sees nothing. Then Price has an idea and as the dildo closes in on him Price steps off to the side and sticks his foot out. The giant dildo trips over the foot and goes right out the open window and down onto the jagged rocks.
Price: Well that wasn't hard at all.
The Soldiers/Guards all gasp in shock. The Hot Dog King is speechless as he realizes that his greatest warrior was just beaten with ease by this mere mortal in his kingdom. Price walks right up to the King and bitch slaps him in his "face" before taking the crown off of his head and pushing him to the ground.
Price: Take note bitches, you all have a new King. And as my first order of business, I want this (Price points to the former Hot Dog King) piece of shit taken outside and roasted above a large fire. Tonight you shall all dine like royalty..seeing as how he was royalty. Next, I want the one known as Stinky released from the dungeon downstairs and brought to me. He will be a member of my court and in charge of all of you. Furthermor....
As Price was speaking a Soldier crept up behind him and hit him in the back of the head with the butt of his weapon. Price goes unconcious from the blow.
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Price awakens on his couch and shakes his head.
Price: Okay now that was the most fucked up dream I've ever had. That's the last time I drink beer and eat doritos before bed.
Price puts away the chips and the remaining beers in the kitchen and heads upstairs to go to bed.
Sunday Morning: 8 A.M.
Price is out running, not deviating from his normal training schedule despite not having a match this Monday on Slam. Price however is focusing all of his training towards Thursday night. XIII. Ladder Match. Hector Rodriguez. Price knows, all fun aside, that he needs to train harder than ever to make sure that he is ready for the grueling task that comes with any ladder match. Not only do you have to beat down an opponent like you normally would, you have to make sure they stay down long enough for you to climb up a ladder to get the title. Price knows that he can win this match, but he also knows that he HAS to win this match. For too long now Hector and his amigo Carlos have been running their mouths about him. Talking about how he can't win unless he has help.
Price: Well fuck them both. They think I can't win alone, well I will prove them wrong. This Thursday I'll be coming down to that ring alone and I will retain my Television Title alone. Anyone who thinks that I need help, I ask you to watch this match very closely.
Price ends his run in downtown Philly outside of his favorite gym. He checks his watch and sees that the owner is late. The gym is usually closed on Sunday's but the owner knows Price and how determined he is everytime a match comes up so he let's him work out alone. The owner finally shows up and unlocks the door before heading back home. Price enters the gym and starts his workout the same way he does everyweek. First it's the heavy bag for thirty minutes, followed up by freeweights. After the freeweights Price will move onto the bench press and then finish up the whole workout with a half hour of cardio.
Two Hours Later
Following another brutal workout Price is back at his home and in the shower, letting the hot water massage his sore muscles. Everytime Price works out it's the same results. He will spend the rest of the day sore. But he knows that it's always worth it, because it's that intense training that keeps him match ready every week. It's that intense training that helps him keep winning. Price finally decides to get out of the shower and dries off before picking out a pair of blue basketball shorts from his dresser drawer. He heads downstairs and grabs a Gatorade out of the fridge before heading into the living room to watch some TV. He channel surfs for a short time before finally coming to the WCF Channel. On the screen the announcers are talking about tomorrow nights Slam and are doing a rundown of the matches.
Zach Davis: First up we have Cole Connors vs Jimmy Dean.
Price: Aka Noob vs The "Is He Really Still Around" Guy. Hey you know what, Jimmy Dean and Logan really need to start tagging up. Think of all the marketing that could be done with them as a team.
Zach Davis: Next up we have the Hotdog Mascot vs Anastasia Petrova in a Buns Of Steel Match.
Price just shakes his head at that one.
Zach Davis: And then we have Johnny Reb and Doc Henry in action against the team of Mikami and Ryan Daniels.
Price: ToT finally representing. Those two had better win.
Zach Davis: And then for our main event we have a US Title Match. Kevin Hardaway vs Logan.
Price: You know it's a sad show when the most entertaining match of the evening involves Logan.
The announcers continue on about the show and Price quickly loses interest as Shannan goes on another "I Love Logan" type rant and Zach tries to ignore and continue on with the show.
Price eventually changes the channel to the Falcons game and kicks back with a six pack of beer and a bag of doritos. Once the game is over Price has to get dressed and grab his luggage. Despite not having a match for Slam, Price has already decided that he is still going to find a way to make his presence know.
Price: Can't disappoint the fans now can I?
