Post by Lawnmower Jones on Aug 6, 2006 13:54:30 GMT -5
(The scene opens with Lawnmower Jones standing in place, running. A green screen is placed behind him and the scene changes every few seconds. At first, Jones is running down a normal street, with a few shops. Then, Jones is running at night in New York City, where he is the same size as the Statue of Liberty. Then, the scene changes and he is running in France on a cloudy, overcast day. Rain is drizzling, and he is twice the size of the Eiffel Tower. The scene cuts to Japan now, where bunches of little Japanese people are only onto the size of Jones knee. They are all screaming, and buildings are on fire. It is an obvious attempt to re-create a famous movie.)
Japanese People: Godzilla! Godzilla!
(The scene cuts back to Lawnmower Jones, who is now running on his perfectly cut, beautiful lawn. He busts into his shed, which is the same as he had left it-messy. Lonnie is the same as she was. Jones, who is wearing the same attire and sweating more than usual, bends over, breathing heavily.)
LJ: Lonnie…….I………need……to talk……..to you……Just…….Let me……..catch….my breath!
(Jones stands up and breathes the way a pregnant lady does. "He He Ho" Jones has his hands on his hips and his eyes squinted.)
LJ: Holy crap that's a long run.
(Jones shakes his head, and wipes the sweat off of his forehead. He turns seriously to Lonnie.)
LJ: Lonnie, I'm sorry for the way I've behaved the past couple of weeks. I've been inconsiderable, a jerky, and just plain not caring for my baby. But that’s all changed. You see, you made me realize what the important things in life are. You've made me realize that its not about winning or portraying myself as someone I'm not. You've made me realize that the key to success is happiness. And my happiness derives from you and your twelve ponies. We've had nights where we fought, and we've had nights where we rocked! But all the bad times aside, I think we can focus together and have a wonderful, happy life.
(Jones pulls something out of his front overall jean pocket. He gets on his right knee, and holds the object to Lonnie.)
LJ: Lonnie Mauer, will you marry me?
(After a moment, Jones' grin on his face is no longer contained. He jumps up and shouts. A huge smile comes across his face.)
LJ: Yes! Yes! Yes! Whooooo!
(Jones runs to the refrigerator and pulls out a Budweiser. He shakes it up and sprays it all over the place. The scene fades to black.)
(The scene cuts back where Lawnmower Jones is stepping outside of his shed. He has on a black robe, and his phone in one hand. A huge grin is on his face.)
LJ: Lonnie, you cat, let's save some for the honeymoon!
(Jones begins dialing on his phone. He calls probably the only person he knows.)
Automated Lady Voice: We’re sorry, the number you are calling can not be completed. Please hang up. Beeeeeeeeeep.
LJ: Hey Logan, it's Jones. I just thought I should let you in on the big news…..I'm getting married! Yep, that's right! Me and Lonnie are gonna be tying the knot! I just wanted to let you know that it would be a huge honor if you were my best man! OK, bye!
(Jones presses a button and slips the phone back into his pocket. He tries to wipe the grin off his face, but cant. His smile is uncontainable.)
LJ: I'm sorry! Nothing in the world can make me unhappy right now! I've got the woman of my dreams, a best friend like no other, and an opportunity to win gold this week! Creeping Death, I'm on a roll right now, and not even you can stop me. You may think you're funny, saying I'm in love with a lawnmower, but you just don’t know. You've never been in love, which is why you mock it in all forms. You may think you're great because you've held onto the title for a while. Well, you unoriginal side show freak, it's the dawn of a new era. At Slam, I'm going to be the new hardcore champion, and the most feared man in the WCF! Creeping Death, I'm going to mow over you!
(The scene fades with Jones laughing.)
Japanese People: Godzilla! Godzilla!
(The scene cuts back to Lawnmower Jones, who is now running on his perfectly cut, beautiful lawn. He busts into his shed, which is the same as he had left it-messy. Lonnie is the same as she was. Jones, who is wearing the same attire and sweating more than usual, bends over, breathing heavily.)
LJ: Lonnie…….I………need……to talk……..to you……Just…….Let me……..catch….my breath!
(Jones stands up and breathes the way a pregnant lady does. "He He Ho" Jones has his hands on his hips and his eyes squinted.)
LJ: Holy crap that's a long run.
(Jones shakes his head, and wipes the sweat off of his forehead. He turns seriously to Lonnie.)
LJ: Lonnie, I'm sorry for the way I've behaved the past couple of weeks. I've been inconsiderable, a jerky, and just plain not caring for my baby. But that’s all changed. You see, you made me realize what the important things in life are. You've made me realize that its not about winning or portraying myself as someone I'm not. You've made me realize that the key to success is happiness. And my happiness derives from you and your twelve ponies. We've had nights where we fought, and we've had nights where we rocked! But all the bad times aside, I think we can focus together and have a wonderful, happy life.
(Jones pulls something out of his front overall jean pocket. He gets on his right knee, and holds the object to Lonnie.)
LJ: Lonnie Mauer, will you marry me?
(After a moment, Jones' grin on his face is no longer contained. He jumps up and shouts. A huge smile comes across his face.)
LJ: Yes! Yes! Yes! Whooooo!
(Jones runs to the refrigerator and pulls out a Budweiser. He shakes it up and sprays it all over the place. The scene fades to black.)
(The scene cuts back where Lawnmower Jones is stepping outside of his shed. He has on a black robe, and his phone in one hand. A huge grin is on his face.)
LJ: Lonnie, you cat, let's save some for the honeymoon!
(Jones begins dialing on his phone. He calls probably the only person he knows.)
Automated Lady Voice: We’re sorry, the number you are calling can not be completed. Please hang up. Beeeeeeeeeep.
LJ: Hey Logan, it's Jones. I just thought I should let you in on the big news…..I'm getting married! Yep, that's right! Me and Lonnie are gonna be tying the knot! I just wanted to let you know that it would be a huge honor if you were my best man! OK, bye!
(Jones presses a button and slips the phone back into his pocket. He tries to wipe the grin off his face, but cant. His smile is uncontainable.)
LJ: I'm sorry! Nothing in the world can make me unhappy right now! I've got the woman of my dreams, a best friend like no other, and an opportunity to win gold this week! Creeping Death, I'm on a roll right now, and not even you can stop me. You may think you're funny, saying I'm in love with a lawnmower, but you just don’t know. You've never been in love, which is why you mock it in all forms. You may think you're great because you've held onto the title for a while. Well, you unoriginal side show freak, it's the dawn of a new era. At Slam, I'm going to be the new hardcore champion, and the most feared man in the WCF! Creeping Death, I'm going to mow over you!
(The scene fades with Jones laughing.)
