Post by mark on Oct 16, 2009 13:40:11 GMT -5
Slam returns from commercial break, panning the camera across the crowd and to the stage. The lights get low and the bass intro to Muse's "Hysteria" opens to flicks of strobe light. The crowd begins to boo as the music escalates with drum beats. A guitar rips through the percussion and bass line, then the first verse of the song plays as the lights turn blue and yellow.
Mark and Marc, the undefeated WCF Tag Team Champions, step out of the Gorilla area dressed as usual, their gold hung over their shoulders. The crowd boos them as they walk down the ramp with their heads hung low, nodding to the fans.
Zach Davis: What's up with the Superfans tonight? They seem oddly down on themselves.
Mark scales the steps and points to a Superfans sign, then Marc leaps once to the apron and again over the top rope in one swift motion. He tumbles through and hits his knees, bowing to another pro-Superfan sign in the audience close to the ring. Mark enters the ring and grabs a microphone, wasting no time.
Mark: Cut the music. Cut it.
Zach Davis: What the hell is going on here, Shannan?
Shannan Lerch: I haven't the slightest. They're usually all about their own entrance.
Mark takes a deep breath.
Mark: Week after week, we come out here and we do what we're told to do. First, it was get over with the fans and give the Tag Titles credibility again. Then it was turn heel for no reason at all and start drawing heat. Now we're being forced week in and week out to work matches with guys who aren't even tag teams on the roster, the website or anywhere else, just so the company can claim it has a tag division.
Mark draws in another breath, releases and continues.
But then terrible writing led to terrible matches, no-shows and an angle where we "ousted" a viable tag team from the company. There's a line that needs to be drawn here in WCF--a line that clearly defines where we stand with this company--because, as of this moment, the Superfans feel a little more than unwanted around here.
Marc takes the mic.
Marc: We came to WCF looking to do nothing more than help the company grow. We wanted to legitimately reestablish the tag team division, because we thought this place was for real. Thirteen weeks into being on WCF television, it is more than clear that the higher-ups who write the show want us out. It makes no sense: you book us against a tag team, you book us to go over, all the performers in the match put on a good match, then everyone in the back--even the guys we've worked matches with!--complain that we're too over. We're getting pushed too hard. It's nonsense to think that you want the best for your company, but you don't want a team that's over to hold onto your straps because you book them in title matches week in and week out. The writing really is terrible.
Mark: It shows a lack of creativity and compassion for your product when all you do is book title matches, because you can't think of anything more creative to do with good workers. You can't write a story arc that lasts more than three weeks, and you can't expect people to think these belts have any prestige when they're constantly being defended against any two guys. That's not how booking works, that's not how you use good talent and that's not how you run a good business.
Marc: I'd have expected a tag tournament or something by now, something to show the fans that this part of the product matters. Write a logical story--as much as you can stay within the logic of something as strange as sports entertainment, anyway--and stick to the story. We went to the bookers and writers with this stuff and more. Do you know what happened?
The crowd murmurs to themselves.
Mark: We got shot down. The Superfans' ideas weren't even given a second thought.
Mark curls up his face a little bit, mocking the writers of the show.
Sorry, guys, but everything's already mapped out for the next few months. Torture and Slickie T are gonna do a feud thing after he defects from Team of Torture, blah blah blah.
The crowd laughs and applauds a little.
Mark: Yeah, I said it. Slickie T turns on Torture and they feud, presumably over my and Marc's belts, which have no merit anyway. Way to go, writers! You angled two heels who don't want to be heels to job to another team who isn't really a team, so they can feud over useless metal. It's beyond bad writing.
Marc: Think about it: you're setting up a feud between Allen and Torture, but you're going to do it at the expense of a team that's over, despite them doing the heel thing they don't fit into, not to mention a team you've written to be undefeated. You're going to take the straps off us and give them to a team you're going to break up in a month or two. Stellar work, gentlemen!
The crowd quiets, shocked that the Superfans have taken up the mantle of spoilers and code breakers.
Zach Davis: I'm... speechless. I don't think Seth Lerch is going to like this very much.
Mark: So, if everything is mapped out for the next few months, what about Mark and Marc? What about our future for the next few months? Do you even care about us anymore, Seth?
Marc: I can tell that you don't, Seth. You forced us to be heels when we didn't want to be, because we told you a company full of heels is a bad idea and no one cares about an upcoming main event involving four heels, fighting for titles you've driven into the ground for the past seven weeks. You took advantage of our offer to help and turned it into a dog-and-pony show, wheeling us out here to be booed and putting us over other tag teams you don't care about. You achieve two things, neither of them good for business: you diminish title belts and you hold other guys who aren't booked regularly as tag teams down. For shame.
The Superfans stop briefly to catch their breath. They look around the arena, which is full of slowly clapping fans. They begin to clap faster, at which point Mark continues. He pulls the camera guy in by the shoulder and puts the shot on the crowd.
Mark: See these fans? They aren't stupid! They know what's going on! This whole thing is a farce to them, Seth! They see the swerve where Allen turns on Torture coming, because it's clear as day! Half the company got written into that stable for no reason at all and, all of a sudden, the guy you book to win War forgoes his title shot to do some stupid angle with the guy he's supposed to feud with! Of course these fans see what's coming, man!
The crowd explodes into a far forgotten Su!-Per!-Fans! chant.
Marc: And no, we don't care what's going to happen to us for spoiling this epic, unexpected swerve. Mark and I feel that, even after we do the job in a few weeks, we'll be forced to chase the titles and only get one rematch, even though you gave a bunch of undeserving teams shots. How sick and twisted is that, intentionally taking the straps off the only guys to hold them in this era of the company, giving them to two guys who will eventually feud and then making the guys who worked so hard to give them credit chase them? It's maddening to talk about, much less think about. There is a line in the sand to be drawn indeed, and it is between the WCF writers and sanity itself.
Mark: So then we chase the titles, working matches with more random teams in an effort to regain the straps.
Marc holds his ear to the wind.
Marc: Hey, bro, what's that sound I hear? Is that the sound of absolutely nothing changing?
Mark: Sure is! It's the same crap--the same runaround with no end in sight--only we don't get to lug around seven pounds of dead weight apiece. It's a damn shame to think that it's come to this, Seth, where the unfortunate reality of things is that they will never, ever change. The moment you take the titles off us is the moment we get a single title shot, just like the rest of the guys that got booked against us in the past three months, then that's it. We're done. It's onto the next random team, then the one after that and the one after that, ad infinitum until you just decide you don't need tag wrestling again and decommission the straps. We're not stupid and this isn't our first rodeo, bro.
If you're gonna do that, we don't want these titles anymore and we sure as hell don't want to work for you, either.
Mark and Marc look at each other, then look out to the crowd, then to their WCF Tag Team Titles. They take them off in unison, then lay them in the center of the ring.
Zach Davis: What? What is this!?
Marc: Seth, from the bottom of our hearts and to you, the rest of the writers, the bookers and the other shit stains that run this godforsaken company...
Mark[/b] and Marc[/b]: We quit!
Zach Davis: WHAT!?
The Superfans hit the crowd as their entrance theme plays for one last time. They hug, shake hands with and sign autographs for the fans and make their way to the top of the stage after spending a few minutes with their people. They bow at the top of the stage rig, then crotch chop the camera. Mark mouths, "That one's for you, Seth" and then they turn their backs on the WCF ring, once and for all.
Fade to black.
Mark and Marc, the undefeated WCF Tag Team Champions, step out of the Gorilla area dressed as usual, their gold hung over their shoulders. The crowd boos them as they walk down the ramp with their heads hung low, nodding to the fans.
Zach Davis: What's up with the Superfans tonight? They seem oddly down on themselves.
Mark scales the steps and points to a Superfans sign, then Marc leaps once to the apron and again over the top rope in one swift motion. He tumbles through and hits his knees, bowing to another pro-Superfan sign in the audience close to the ring. Mark enters the ring and grabs a microphone, wasting no time.
Mark: Cut the music. Cut it.
Zach Davis: What the hell is going on here, Shannan?
Shannan Lerch: I haven't the slightest. They're usually all about their own entrance.
Mark takes a deep breath.
Mark: Week after week, we come out here and we do what we're told to do. First, it was get over with the fans and give the Tag Titles credibility again. Then it was turn heel for no reason at all and start drawing heat. Now we're being forced week in and week out to work matches with guys who aren't even tag teams on the roster, the website or anywhere else, just so the company can claim it has a tag division.
Mark draws in another breath, releases and continues.
But then terrible writing led to terrible matches, no-shows and an angle where we "ousted" a viable tag team from the company. There's a line that needs to be drawn here in WCF--a line that clearly defines where we stand with this company--because, as of this moment, the Superfans feel a little more than unwanted around here.
Marc takes the mic.
Marc: We came to WCF looking to do nothing more than help the company grow. We wanted to legitimately reestablish the tag team division, because we thought this place was for real. Thirteen weeks into being on WCF television, it is more than clear that the higher-ups who write the show want us out. It makes no sense: you book us against a tag team, you book us to go over, all the performers in the match put on a good match, then everyone in the back--even the guys we've worked matches with!--complain that we're too over. We're getting pushed too hard. It's nonsense to think that you want the best for your company, but you don't want a team that's over to hold onto your straps because you book them in title matches week in and week out. The writing really is terrible.
Mark: It shows a lack of creativity and compassion for your product when all you do is book title matches, because you can't think of anything more creative to do with good workers. You can't write a story arc that lasts more than three weeks, and you can't expect people to think these belts have any prestige when they're constantly being defended against any two guys. That's not how booking works, that's not how you use good talent and that's not how you run a good business.
Marc: I'd have expected a tag tournament or something by now, something to show the fans that this part of the product matters. Write a logical story--as much as you can stay within the logic of something as strange as sports entertainment, anyway--and stick to the story. We went to the bookers and writers with this stuff and more. Do you know what happened?
The crowd murmurs to themselves.
Mark: We got shot down. The Superfans' ideas weren't even given a second thought.
Mark curls up his face a little bit, mocking the writers of the show.
Sorry, guys, but everything's already mapped out for the next few months. Torture and Slickie T are gonna do a feud thing after he defects from Team of Torture, blah blah blah.
The crowd laughs and applauds a little.
Mark: Yeah, I said it. Slickie T turns on Torture and they feud, presumably over my and Marc's belts, which have no merit anyway. Way to go, writers! You angled two heels who don't want to be heels to job to another team who isn't really a team, so they can feud over useless metal. It's beyond bad writing.
Marc: Think about it: you're setting up a feud between Allen and Torture, but you're going to do it at the expense of a team that's over, despite them doing the heel thing they don't fit into, not to mention a team you've written to be undefeated. You're going to take the straps off us and give them to a team you're going to break up in a month or two. Stellar work, gentlemen!
The crowd quiets, shocked that the Superfans have taken up the mantle of spoilers and code breakers.
Zach Davis: I'm... speechless. I don't think Seth Lerch is going to like this very much.
Mark: So, if everything is mapped out for the next few months, what about Mark and Marc? What about our future for the next few months? Do you even care about us anymore, Seth?
Marc: I can tell that you don't, Seth. You forced us to be heels when we didn't want to be, because we told you a company full of heels is a bad idea and no one cares about an upcoming main event involving four heels, fighting for titles you've driven into the ground for the past seven weeks. You took advantage of our offer to help and turned it into a dog-and-pony show, wheeling us out here to be booed and putting us over other tag teams you don't care about. You achieve two things, neither of them good for business: you diminish title belts and you hold other guys who aren't booked regularly as tag teams down. For shame.
The Superfans stop briefly to catch their breath. They look around the arena, which is full of slowly clapping fans. They begin to clap faster, at which point Mark continues. He pulls the camera guy in by the shoulder and puts the shot on the crowd.
Mark: See these fans? They aren't stupid! They know what's going on! This whole thing is a farce to them, Seth! They see the swerve where Allen turns on Torture coming, because it's clear as day! Half the company got written into that stable for no reason at all and, all of a sudden, the guy you book to win War forgoes his title shot to do some stupid angle with the guy he's supposed to feud with! Of course these fans see what's coming, man!
The crowd explodes into a far forgotten Su!-Per!-Fans! chant.
Marc: And no, we don't care what's going to happen to us for spoiling this epic, unexpected swerve. Mark and I feel that, even after we do the job in a few weeks, we'll be forced to chase the titles and only get one rematch, even though you gave a bunch of undeserving teams shots. How sick and twisted is that, intentionally taking the straps off the only guys to hold them in this era of the company, giving them to two guys who will eventually feud and then making the guys who worked so hard to give them credit chase them? It's maddening to talk about, much less think about. There is a line in the sand to be drawn indeed, and it is between the WCF writers and sanity itself.
Mark: So then we chase the titles, working matches with more random teams in an effort to regain the straps.
Marc holds his ear to the wind.
Marc: Hey, bro, what's that sound I hear? Is that the sound of absolutely nothing changing?
Mark: Sure is! It's the same crap--the same runaround with no end in sight--only we don't get to lug around seven pounds of dead weight apiece. It's a damn shame to think that it's come to this, Seth, where the unfortunate reality of things is that they will never, ever change. The moment you take the titles off us is the moment we get a single title shot, just like the rest of the guys that got booked against us in the past three months, then that's it. We're done. It's onto the next random team, then the one after that and the one after that, ad infinitum until you just decide you don't need tag wrestling again and decommission the straps. We're not stupid and this isn't our first rodeo, bro.
If you're gonna do that, we don't want these titles anymore and we sure as hell don't want to work for you, either.
Mark and Marc look at each other, then look out to the crowd, then to their WCF Tag Team Titles. They take them off in unison, then lay them in the center of the ring.
Zach Davis: What? What is this!?
Marc: Seth, from the bottom of our hearts and to you, the rest of the writers, the bookers and the other shit stains that run this godforsaken company...
Mark[/b] and Marc[/b]: We quit!
Zach Davis: WHAT!?
The Superfans hit the crowd as their entrance theme plays for one last time. They hug, shake hands with and sign autographs for the fans and make their way to the top of the stage after spending a few minutes with their people. They bow at the top of the stage rig, then crotch chop the camera. Mark mouths, "That one's for you, Seth" and then they turn their backs on the WCF ring, once and for all.
Fade to black.
