Post by Johnny Reb on Jun 28, 2009 13:11:25 GMT -5
Southern Culture on the Skids
A Blog by Rebel4Life
A Blog by Rebel4Life
Mood: Excited
Listening to: Toby Keith: Shock’n Y’all
Title Shot, Part II
It’s that time again.
Pay-per-view time.
Having come out recently as a wrestling fan, and moreover, a Johnny Reb fan, I find myself with a renewed sense of liberation.
Most of what I write has to do with the South, the impact of the War of Northern Aggression – still felt to this day – and humanity in general. The last couple of weeks, I’ve been busy with editorials on the economic conditions in this country, in particular how poorly they’re being handled. I mean, seriously… Government handouts for giant, multi-billion dollar corporations? If they can’t get themselves out of the holes they’ve dug…
Ah, but today I am concerned exclusively with wrestling. Wrestling is a big deal in the South. And again, I point out, not just for the stereotypical trailer-dwelling white trash rednecks. It’s cathartic, really. Grown men engaging in primal behaviors that the more civilized among us would never dream of. Or at least, we wouldn’t admit to sharing any of those baser urges. So we watch the professionals, living vicariously through them for a couple of hours on a weekly basis. Same with any other sport, really; only wrestling doesn’t make any pretensions of being anything more.
This week: Blast.
I don’t much care about the first match. Some guy with WWII flashbacks and a dude that thinks he’s a pirate. Don’t get me wrong, pirates are cool, but… meh. Chris Avery vs. Ryan Daniels will prove to be much more interesting, and I’m leaning towards Avery with the victory. I’m not a betting man, though. I won’t put money on that.
Johnny Anthrax and Tank Reaper and a biker chain… That should be appropriately brutal. The US Title match: Does anyone really care about a mob-connected paisan when compared to the unveiling of Mikami’s puppetmaster? Really, that’s what I’m waiting for. Speculation about who it might be has been rampant, and I have my own suspicions, but I’m relatively certain I’m wrong. We’ll just have to wait and see.
Then you got Gravedigger and Logan in a no-DQ match. Gravedigger evidently brought the company close to financial ruin, and Logan…well, if hot dogs aren’t involved, he’ll probably lose interest pretty quickly.
But the match I’m waiting for – the one we’re all waiting for – is the World Title match. Sure, Dake Ken won the number one contendership, but maybe just because Johnny Reb wasn’t scheduled for the contendership match. They’ve had an interesting, almost love-hate thing going. Reb and Ken gave us a hell of a show last week, working in near-perfect synchronicity for a victory over the Team of Treachery. Shit, if either of them was interested in the whole tag scene, they’d be unstoppable…
That’s not real likely to happen anytime soon, but I’d like to see more of it. I don’t think they can overcome their differences at this point. Ken thinks Reb’s a coward, that he didn’t deserve another shot at the title. But who’s been consistently main eventing the last several weeks? Not Dake Ken. Who got screwed out of the title last month? Johnny did. For Dake Ken to suggest that Johnny Reb is actually worse than Torture is a little sickening. There’s nobody worse than Torture. At least Reb has some standards.
Let’s face it, though. It’s way past time for Torture to lose the title. One way or another. While I hope it’s Johnny Reb who gets the ultimate victory tonight, I’d be almost as happy to see Dake Ken with it. Who knows?
Comments:
RebFan23 says:
Oh, look! I get first reply! Ok, for real, though, Rebel… It’s gotta be Johnny. I will accept no other outcome to the World Title match.
Rebel4Life says:
Now there’s a big shock. Either way, this match is going to have repercussions…
SmarkyMark says:
Longtime reader, first time poster here. I can’t agree with a single thing you’ve said today, Rebel. I won’t even touch your comments on the other matches, but I wanted to point out that there’s a reason Torture holds the World Title. Not because of any particular skill – although he’s far more seasoned than Johnny Reb, and younger than Dake Ken. It’s because he’s a draw. People love to hate him. He’s not losing that title anytime soon, so get used to it.
Rebel4Life says:
Man… why do people like you have to spoil all the fun? Look, whatever the outcome, it’s all high drama. Shakespeare for the modern day, only with less swords. Dake Ken is the counterpoint, the Hamlet to Torture’s Claudius, but without the hesitation and indecision. Point is, though, they do what they do very well, and if I want to suspend disbelief for a few hours, that’s my business.
SmarkyMark says:
So, what? That makes Johnny Reb … Laertes, I guess? Yeah, that fits. Or maybe Fortinbras. Just remember that Hamlet dies at the end, and Fortinbras never sees his revenge on the Danes.
S0uthernS0ul says:
Simmer down, guys. Too many Shakespeare references will intimidate your other readers, Rebel. Besides, Claudius got his in the end, as well…
Last comment was at 16:20:05 on 6/28/09.
