Post by johnnyanthrax on May 19, 2009 18:37:11 GMT -5
Its the sweet morning smell of bacon and eggs cooking in the kitchen. Of course the kitchen is just the next room over as I sleep in the living room on the sofa but hey, I needed a place to stay and my brother and his family let me in to their cute little lives. What the fuck man? It's 8 in the morning?! Jesus fuckin' waxford. What is this all about? Why must they make noise and do shit in the early part of the morning.
Hey! Stop bangin' dishes in there. Jesus.
My sister in-law yells something back to me but I don't understand it. I'm still trying to wake up. Four days here so far and I feel like I'm still getting used to living in a fuckin' 'nother country. If I'm going to be awake might as well get me a cold Coors Light for the dry mouth.
*A loud noise crashes in the garage.*
Wait? Was that my fuckin'... No!
I had a feeling I knew what it fucking was. I opened the garage door and looked. I was correct in my fucking assumption. My nephew just fucking dumped my god damn bike on the concrete of the garage floor. His face looked at me like it was an accident or sumpthin' but I know fucking well what it was. He was fucking around like I told him not to and he did it anyway.
You never fuck with my shit tiny! What the fuck is your god damn deal? Why you on my bike? Why the fuck are you in the garage? Dont you need to be at skool or something? Jesus christ!
That's when my brother came in.
Jesse: Hey J! Don't yell at him man! It was an accident.
Tiny: I swear Uncle Johnny. I was just sitting on it and it fell over.
Whatever Tiny. Go inside and get me a beer! I'm fuckin' thirsty.
I call him Tiny because he's in seventh grade but that fatass must weight at least two hundred pounds. I tried picking him up one day and realized I fuckin' needed another blunt, or another six pack of Bud Light to do it. One day I'll train him to be a pussy-snatcher but for right now my focus is on getting me.. a mother fucking beer! Oh, there it is. Right in my hand. I should thank Tiny but I'm too pissed off right now to even think straight. I'll guzzle this mofo. Oh, my brother is looking at me.
Yeah Bitch?
Jesse: You need to calm down Johnny. I've had about enough of this shit. Yelling at my sons, telling my wife to calm down in the kitchen. You have a job yet? You get on with Wrestling Championship Federation? I know you have a contract but when are we going to see some money damn it!
Bro. You need to calm the fuck down. Last night I learned about my first opponent. It's Logan. His public-biography said he was indescribable and unpredictable. Whatever the fuck those mean. Unpredictable? What is he going to do? Bring bras to the fucking ring? Mother fucker wigs me out and shit bro.
Jesse: Well calm down. I know a bit about Logan.
Yeah?
Jesse: I've been watching a few Slams and he's alright, but I don't know much about him other than that. Seems to be on your level though, perhaps an easy win?
Let's hope so! Johnny Anthrax needs the fuckin money bro.
Jesse: Talking about yourself in third person are we? Already a full fledged Professional Wrestler huh?
You want to be the best you have to act like the best. Right now, I am the best. I dunno. This beer tastes great and that's all I know. As for Logan, I have some plans but I won't know much of anything else till I get to the event on Monday. I do know the place will be sold out, and I love to party. I need Star. He has my shit.
Jesse: What shit? You fuckin' with weed in my house?
Calm down bro. Why don't you go inside and fuck with the misses and get the kids to school. I need to run to the bar.
Jesse: You better be ready.
He turned and went back into the house but he did press the small button on the wall and opened up the garage door so I can get my bike out. A motion small, yes, however I know he cares for me. At least enough for me to live here. I need money though, and right now my contracted weekly salary doesn't begin until Monday after my match with Logan. I pick up my bike with ease and realize nothing is really banged up on it. A few minor scratches on the gas tank but that's nothing a huff a glue and some paint can't fix. The paint for the scratches, the glue for my lungs. I started my bike and I just love the way it sounds. I don't have my wallet but who gives a fuck at this point. I'm still in Jeans and a tank top and it's just the way I like it. I need Star. He has my shit.
*Fast Forward - Anthrax rides his bike across town to a gym to meet Star.*
Why the fuck did Star bring me here? I don't understand it. A gym? I don't need training, I need weed!
Yo Star. What the fuck man?
Star: Listen Johnny. There's some guys in here that want to train you for wrestling. We both know you have some signature and trademark moves from your bar fights and road hawk gangs you were in but right now you need to just get the basics down. Just some defenses and some small attacks.
You have my weed?
Star: Yeah Johnny. Just come in here with me and we'll talk to these guys. Afterwords if we're into what they're saying we'll run through some things. If not, we still have a huge bowl to smoke. You in?
Fuck. Why not? Let's make one thing clear though. The moves I have could beat the weirdo freak Logan any day. I just need to work on smaller stuff to get me over with the fans. Not my actual wrestling.
Star: Right. This is Jesse James. I know the name sounds weird but just listen to him. He's going to do some basic moves with his sparring partner and show you some things. You watching?
Yeah mother fucker. I'm watching. I just fuckin' woke up man. This life at sunrise aint for me dude. I'm watching though.
Star gives him the signal and the two men begin to move frequently fast through the ring. I notice small moves like hip tosses and Irish whips that I already have used before in various bar fights but never realized I could do them in the ring. I've seen the powerslams, the powerbombs and suplexes before. I've watched Wrestling before but usually it was the tag matches and the gang fights that turned on my whistle. I like this training. I mean, I don't know how to show it, I'm stubborn as a fuckin' mule but Star is on to something. This is probably what I need to beat the fucking freako pedo Logan. He's just in my class and right now this is the training I need to beat that silly motherfucker. Maybe I'll knock some sense into that god damn freak. I hope so. I wonder what this gym is called..
What's the name of this gym, Star?
Star: Riders of the Wind.
Oh what the fuck? I love that name. Jesus, this is my kind of place..
Maybe I can learn a lot from this place. That'd be fuckin' tits.
Hey! Stop bangin' dishes in there. Jesus.
My sister in-law yells something back to me but I don't understand it. I'm still trying to wake up. Four days here so far and I feel like I'm still getting used to living in a fuckin' 'nother country. If I'm going to be awake might as well get me a cold Coors Light for the dry mouth.
*A loud noise crashes in the garage.*
Wait? Was that my fuckin'... No!
I had a feeling I knew what it fucking was. I opened the garage door and looked. I was correct in my fucking assumption. My nephew just fucking dumped my god damn bike on the concrete of the garage floor. His face looked at me like it was an accident or sumpthin' but I know fucking well what it was. He was fucking around like I told him not to and he did it anyway.
You never fuck with my shit tiny! What the fuck is your god damn deal? Why you on my bike? Why the fuck are you in the garage? Dont you need to be at skool or something? Jesus christ!
That's when my brother came in.
Jesse: Hey J! Don't yell at him man! It was an accident.
Tiny: I swear Uncle Johnny. I was just sitting on it and it fell over.
Whatever Tiny. Go inside and get me a beer! I'm fuckin' thirsty.
I call him Tiny because he's in seventh grade but that fatass must weight at least two hundred pounds. I tried picking him up one day and realized I fuckin' needed another blunt, or another six pack of Bud Light to do it. One day I'll train him to be a pussy-snatcher but for right now my focus is on getting me.. a mother fucking beer! Oh, there it is. Right in my hand. I should thank Tiny but I'm too pissed off right now to even think straight. I'll guzzle this mofo. Oh, my brother is looking at me.
Yeah Bitch?
Jesse: You need to calm down Johnny. I've had about enough of this shit. Yelling at my sons, telling my wife to calm down in the kitchen. You have a job yet? You get on with Wrestling Championship Federation? I know you have a contract but when are we going to see some money damn it!
Bro. You need to calm the fuck down. Last night I learned about my first opponent. It's Logan. His public-biography said he was indescribable and unpredictable. Whatever the fuck those mean. Unpredictable? What is he going to do? Bring bras to the fucking ring? Mother fucker wigs me out and shit bro.
Jesse: Well calm down. I know a bit about Logan.
Yeah?
Jesse: I've been watching a few Slams and he's alright, but I don't know much about him other than that. Seems to be on your level though, perhaps an easy win?
Let's hope so! Johnny Anthrax needs the fuckin money bro.
Jesse: Talking about yourself in third person are we? Already a full fledged Professional Wrestler huh?
You want to be the best you have to act like the best. Right now, I am the best. I dunno. This beer tastes great and that's all I know. As for Logan, I have some plans but I won't know much of anything else till I get to the event on Monday. I do know the place will be sold out, and I love to party. I need Star. He has my shit.
Jesse: What shit? You fuckin' with weed in my house?
Calm down bro. Why don't you go inside and fuck with the misses and get the kids to school. I need to run to the bar.
Jesse: You better be ready.
He turned and went back into the house but he did press the small button on the wall and opened up the garage door so I can get my bike out. A motion small, yes, however I know he cares for me. At least enough for me to live here. I need money though, and right now my contracted weekly salary doesn't begin until Monday after my match with Logan. I pick up my bike with ease and realize nothing is really banged up on it. A few minor scratches on the gas tank but that's nothing a huff a glue and some paint can't fix. The paint for the scratches, the glue for my lungs. I started my bike and I just love the way it sounds. I don't have my wallet but who gives a fuck at this point. I'm still in Jeans and a tank top and it's just the way I like it. I need Star. He has my shit.
*Fast Forward - Anthrax rides his bike across town to a gym to meet Star.*
Why the fuck did Star bring me here? I don't understand it. A gym? I don't need training, I need weed!
Yo Star. What the fuck man?
Star: Listen Johnny. There's some guys in here that want to train you for wrestling. We both know you have some signature and trademark moves from your bar fights and road hawk gangs you were in but right now you need to just get the basics down. Just some defenses and some small attacks.
You have my weed?
Star: Yeah Johnny. Just come in here with me and we'll talk to these guys. Afterwords if we're into what they're saying we'll run through some things. If not, we still have a huge bowl to smoke. You in?
Fuck. Why not? Let's make one thing clear though. The moves I have could beat the weirdo freak Logan any day. I just need to work on smaller stuff to get me over with the fans. Not my actual wrestling.
Star: Right. This is Jesse James. I know the name sounds weird but just listen to him. He's going to do some basic moves with his sparring partner and show you some things. You watching?
Yeah mother fucker. I'm watching. I just fuckin' woke up man. This life at sunrise aint for me dude. I'm watching though.
Star gives him the signal and the two men begin to move frequently fast through the ring. I notice small moves like hip tosses and Irish whips that I already have used before in various bar fights but never realized I could do them in the ring. I've seen the powerslams, the powerbombs and suplexes before. I've watched Wrestling before but usually it was the tag matches and the gang fights that turned on my whistle. I like this training. I mean, I don't know how to show it, I'm stubborn as a fuckin' mule but Star is on to something. This is probably what I need to beat the fucking freako pedo Logan. He's just in my class and right now this is the training I need to beat that silly motherfucker. Maybe I'll knock some sense into that god damn freak. I hope so. I wonder what this gym is called..
What's the name of this gym, Star?
Star: Riders of the Wind.
Oh what the fuck? I love that name. Jesus, this is my kind of place..
Maybe I can learn a lot from this place. That'd be fuckin' tits.
