Post by Alex Richards on May 10, 2019 21:35:51 GMT -5
Alex Richards zeroes in on his target. The Strange Rover roars towards a small trailer next to a massive satellite tower. You couldn't miss it. You also couldn't miss Alex as Let's Get Retarded in Here by the Black Eyed Peas blares from the speakers. Why that song? When you're the archduke of mass confusion sometimes even you don't know. The Rover rumbles to a stop.
SZR: So what's the plan?
Alex pats his little brother on the shoulder.
Richards: Don't worry.. Becky and I.. we got this.
Thatch: Do we ever.
Rebecca creeps outside as Alex thunder towards the front door of the trailer like a one man herd of buffalos. He slams his fist against the door in a vicious knock doesn't wait for anyone to answer and rips it open instead. He looks inside and the Tor Johnson look-a-like snarls.
Richards: Why don't you show Plan 9 from Outer Space re runs?
The youthful, handsome face of Alex's rival Evan Lynn scowls back at him behind a desk. Alex looks surprised.
Richards: You're not Noble Savage... or a member of Tempest.. or even Lady Abernathy!
Lynn: Of course I'm not Noble Savage! Why would you think Noble Savage would be behind a genius plan such as this? Noble Savage is not behind any genius plan.
Alex nods.
Richards: I know that.
Lynn: Lies! You walked right into my trap.
Richards: Of course I knew it wasn't really Noble. Noble Savage wouldn't be smart enough to come up with a plan this good. Or pretty much any plan. I hate to admit it but looking back Bonnie Blue used her. She got Noble to join the Guardians because she saw someone who could help her but not someone who was a threat to her in any way. She couldn't beat Bonnie, she couldn't even beat me one on one. So Bonnie got someone who would help her for as long as she needed the help then she could discard her without having to worry about any consequences. Kind of cold really.
Lynn: Hey! What are you doing? It sounds like you are cutting a promo on Noble Savage when you should be paying attention to me!
Richards: Well Evan Lynn.. or Evil as you like to be called. I don't really see you a threat. So I guess in a way I did get an adversary like Noble Savage.
Lynn: You stupid egotistic jackass! Your head is so far up your own ass you can't see a threat when it's in front of you. You will never leave New Jersey alive!
Richards: Can you take the cast of the Jersey Shore with me?
Lynn: Why can't you be serious?
Richards: Because I'm a step ahead of you.. always. Just like Noble Savage.
Lynn: Stop fucking mentioning Noble Savage! This isn't about her! This is about you destroying the livelihood of my ancestor.. Evil Paul Rudd!
Richards: He was a much bigger threat then you were. Or Savage was.
Lynn: Motherfucker! You see this?
Evan reaches under the desk pulling out a red panic button.
Lynn: I press this and all my mercenaries will be on you in seconds. They will tear you to pieces!
Alex feints towards the desk and instead reaches into his doctor's bag and pulls out two boots filled with Zim-Quila.
Richards: Want a last drink?
Lynn: What are you talking about you idiot?
Richards: That's the wrong question. The right question is why do I have two drinks. You see... while I entered here as loudly as possible my girlfriend Becky was strapping a bomb under the trailer.
Evan starts to turn ashen.
Lynn: But that would kill you too!
Richards: Then I go out as a hero. See.. for me taking out one of truly evil man in history.. I'd consider that a win. I may no longer be a Guardian but I'm still a hero. So you see.. all I had to do was keep you occupied for ten minutes so Becky could get far enough away from the trailer and.. boom!
Lynn: You fool! It hasn't been ten minutes!
Evan rushes towards the window. Alex cuts him off.. only to have Evan stiff arm the massive Guardian then dart towards the open door. Alex reaches.. and misses. The door opens Evan rushes out and...
Richards: My bad we scrapped the bomb plan in favour of the piano wire plan. Sometimes.. I just lose my head you know. Well I guess I don't.. but some people do.
Alex exits the trailer next, ducking under the piano wire Rebecca had strung up in the doorway that just decapitate Evan Lynn. Rebecca looks on, almost unemotionless. As Shaun Zach freaks out.
SZR: That was your plan? Your plan was to fucking behead him?
Richards: You don't swear Zach.
SZR: I do not. Why did you do to Rebecca?
Thatch: I remember what Paul did to Alex and myself. He killed us once. His kin would have done the same thing.. maybe permanently this time if we gave him a chance.
Richards: I knew it wasn't really Noble Savage behind that. But the lesson was the same either way. Some people are evil enough then you have to eliminate them entirely before they do more damage. I gave Evan a second chance once.. after he was involved in a kidnapping ring. He went on to this plot. Sometimes you have to stop giving chances. The same is true of Noble Savage.
Alex looks sternly, harshly... thinking about Noble Savage.
Richards: Earlier I was complaining about having to face Noble and Ted in the final show. In a way it serves me right. I forced this match with Noble Savage. I wanted this match with Noble because I want to put her out of her misery. I don't believe Teddy is good enough to be world champion. But I don't believe Noble is good enough to deserve to live. If I'm really thinking about it I'm not even going to call her Noble Savage anymore. I'm simply going to call her Brandi. Because she's not really noble and she certainly isn't savage. She's proved that time after time since the Guardians broke up.
Alex sighs.
Richards: The demise of the Guardians lead to my ascension. But it led to Brandi's self destruction. When we faced off one on one I tried to help her. I tried to teach her what it would take to be world champion. See.. even then I knew I was going to be world champion someday. So I tried to impart that lesson on Brandi. But she didn't understand. When I beat Brandi she didn't realize that what I wanted to do was humble her, to teach her she wasn't undefeatable. I wanted to show her that sometimes you fail. Sometimes everyone fails. But I believed she had more self confidence then she did. Instead of that beating inspiring her it destroyed her confidence completely. One loss shattered her illusion. I did that in one night, in one match. And truth be told... I fought that match for her. To prepare her. Yet.. I still defeated her. What do you suppose is going to happen during a match I am fighting for me. A match my only goal is victory. Mainly because I want to punish her as much as humanly possible. I beat Brandi when I considered her a sister. What do you suppose I'm going to do to her now that I consider her an enemy?
Alex grins grimly.
Richards: Because here's the thing. Like Evan Lynn.. I can get Brandi to fall into any trap that I want to. Then... off with her head.
Alex makes the throat slit motion.
Richards: There is one reason Brandi is challenging me for the world title. Because I wanted her to. After what she did at One it was only a matter of time until I destroyed her for that. But after the stunt she pulled at Kingdom Come I knew that the time was now. So I attacked her Tempest with a steel chair. I put them through a table. I wanted them to hurt. And I wanted Brandi to know it was because of her. The minute I did that I knew I would force her hand. I knew that she would have to cash in her automatic re match and face me for the world title. If I'm handpicking you to face me that speaks volumes as to my confidence level now don't it?
Thatch: You're gonna fuck her up.
Richards: That's obvious. But the why.. the why is the interesting part. See.. I'm a dangerous man even when I have nothing against you. But when you're someone I despise.. you might just as well dig your own grave and invite people to your funeral. The only real question is what kind of minister is going to do the service after I lay Brandi to rest. Because while I may not literally kill her I will kill her career. You brought this on yourself Brandi.. remember that. Your choices is what led to this. Now it's time for you to face the music. I may not be friends with Bonnie Blue anymore but I don't have to be friends with her to admit this. She always was.. and always will be better then you.
Richards: That's why you attacked her during our cage match last month. Because you knew you could never beat Bonnie. That she would always be your better Brandi. So you decided to take a cheap shot at her. Hopefully take her out. Unfortunately you didn't think things through very well. See.. by doing that you stuck your nose into my business. I'll let you in on a no so well kept secret. I've beaten Bonnie before. I was going to win that cage match all on my own and beat Bonnie again. Because of that.. I can say I am better then Blue. But I can say with no arguments from anyone that I am easily better then you.
Alex thinks for a second.
Richards: Brandi and Teo both are probably going to talk about how I would have lost last month if not for Brandi attacking Blue. Teddy might even believe that to be true. But Brandi doesn't. She knows better. She knows I was going to win that match and it scared her. It scared her that I was about to do what she couldn't. It made her look bad. She gave up her humanity to win that title and that wasn't enough. That wasn't enough to get her past Bonnie Blue. Bonnie embarrassed her, she destroyed her. But I was about to beat Blue. Noble couldn't handle that. So she got involved to steal the credit. To steal my victory. That's why I immediately attacked the Zanudu Circle and challenged her. Because I want everyone to know that I am the real champion. Not some sham flash in the pan like Noble was. Noble got lucky in a scramble match at One. She lost to me. She lost to Bonnie. If they faced again she would have lost to Odin as well. But in a chaotic four way dance everything can happen. Even the weakest competitor winning.
Alex stops..
Richards: I'm wasting my breathe. I know that I was winning that match with Bonnie Blue. I know that the reason Brandi interfered was because of jealousy. I was about to do what she couldn't. But I'll never convince Brandi. Because Brandi doesn't think for herself. She allows Lady Abernathy to do all her thinking for her. That's why she was so accepting of Bonnie using her. Because she's used to people using her. That's what I was trying so hard to teach Brandi to be her own person. It's kind of ironic.. people always accuse me of not thinking for myself, now I'm matched up with an opponent that's actually true of. Can you honestly say you wanted to kill that mother and her baby before One?
Thatch: Goddamnit.. again with the baby killing!
Richards: You felt you needed a power increase in order to win the world title? Bullshit! You already beat Odin Balfore... a six time world champion beforehand! There is only one place you are weak Brandi.. and it's mentally! You sacrificed that mother and her baby... basically for nothing. You do realize you did something ghastly simply because Abernasty said so, right?
Alex scowls.
Richards: And it did it nothing for you. You won at One because you were in the right place at the right time. You didn't win because of the murder.. you won because of dumb luck! If you really got a power increase... none of us would have been a match for you, right? But yet.. just the next month Bonnie Blue defeated you for the world title. What happened afterwards? You got kidnapped by your own coven. Your own sisters. They took you away and they tortured you. This is your so called family? They are using you. They are using you.. and you're letting them! You're the grown up version of a puppy hit with a rolled up newspaper!
Alex spits.
Richards: Pathetic! You could be something more. But you choose not even to try! You let people use you however they choose and you never fight back. These are not the actions of a world champion! Psychically you could be a legendary wrestler.. but you chose never to exercise your free will. And what's worse.. you allow evil bitches.. or rather evil witches use you to advance their own means. You could have been something great, you had the potential to be a legend. But instead you became a pawn. A dangerous pawn but a pawn nevertheless. That's why I have to take you out at Endgame. There will be no more dead babies on my watch.
Thatch: That I can get behind.
SZR: You look like a gothic Barbie doll. How is it you're so into babies anyhow?
The Elvira look a like glares at Shaun.
Thatch: That's total stereotyping.
Richards: Enough! There's a time for pleasant banter but now is the not the time. I know there are other rituals. Other death rituals. I know that you will sacrifice more people to please your lady. If.. you are allowed to. This is the Endgame for the WCF. I'm going to make it your Endgame as well. If you were truly focused on this match I might be worried. But I know you're not. I know you are unfocussed. You were always unfocussed. Trying to steal Bonnie's time travel ability at the Rock of Ages, messing with Estella Luiz's psyche when it was completely unnecessary. You're like a child Brandi. No wonder Abernathy was able to get you to trust her. But that lack of focus is going to be your downfall against me. Because when I'm in that ring I am always focussed. If you lose focus.. just for a second.. that's when I strike.
Richards: Do you remember what happened the last time we faced off in a singles match Brandi? You grabbed that wrench. The same wrench you used to win so many matches in the past. You brought it in the ring to use against me. You hesitated. You decided not to use it. You lost focus for less then 15 seconds.. that's all it took for me to hit the Sanity Slip and win the match. And that.... that was when we were friends.
Alex's face darkens.
Richards: I won that match when I was trying to help you.. what do you think I'm going to do when I'm trying to destroy you. Because that's exactly my plan this week. When you leave the WCF.. you become a wildcard. I won't be able to keep tabs on you. I won't know when evil acts you are up to until they come to pass. Which means I won't be able to stop them. Unless I stop you before. I'll take Lady Abernathy's most dangerous tool away from her. By destroying Noble Savage. You had the chance to learn from me.. but you rejected me. You chose to be evil. You chose basically to be an evil lackey. That's unacceptable. The first time you sacrificed someone.. that's on you and your coven. That's not on me.. I didn't know. But the next time you destroy an innocent life.. that is on me because I could have stopped you. So I'm not going to have that on my conscience. I simply am going to slaughter you Brandi. I drew you into this match by attacking your cohorts. Just like I was drawn in by Evan Lynn a few hours ago. The difference is.. I'm smarter then you. I realized it was a trap while you never did. That wrench you carry around sums you up nicely. Brute force with no thought or planning behind it. So bring the wench Brandi.
Alex reaches into his doctor's bag and pulls out... nothing.
Richards: What were you expecting? I'm a monster of a man that can think. That's more destructive then a million wrenches. I'm twice Brandi's size.. I have five times Brandi's experience, and I am a hundred times more motivated to win this match then she is. How do you think this is going to end? All you have going for yourself is aggressiveness but that's not going to be enough. You lack the brains and you lack the heart. You lack the focus. Need I go on? You are simply lacking Brandi. The only thing you were truly elite at is blind hero worshipping. You picked wrong when you chose to idolize Bonnie and you picked even wronger when you made Lady Abernathy your deity of choice. If you somehow survive this. Notice I said survive, not win. Because you will not win and you will not walk away from this encounter with me Brandi I promise you that. But if you somehow survive this.. pick your heroes better next time. Because while that child and her mother couldn't fight back against you... I certainly can on their behalf. You know what this weekend is.. Noble?
SZR: Mothers Day.
Richards: Exactly right. And I'm going to gift the mother you murdered one final gift. She'll get to see you brought to justice from the afterlife. She'll get to see that people do care about the slaughter of the innocents. I care. And I'm more then man enough to do something about it. I'm not going to allow you to win, I'll snuff out your life if I can Brandi, but I'll settle for injuring you for a long long time if I have to. Preferably permanently injure you. Because if I let you leave with the WCF World Title then Lady Abernathy will convince you your Gods have favoured you. I spit on your Gods, on your Lady, and especially on you. You're weak Brandi.... and in the worst way. People who allow themselves to be used.. simply because it's easier then to make your own path. I find them pathetic. I find them worthy of no respect. When we get in the ring Brandi I will not respect you. You may have held the title once but you're not a real champion. Because you're not your own person. That's the worst thing you can be. You're a hollow shell Brandi and someone like that has no real chance against me.
SZR: Are you sure brother... you're not worried?
Alex looks at his brother calmly.
Richards: Not in the slightest. You remember when I swore revenge on John Rabid and Bonnie Blue? I got my revenge in back to back months. John hasn't been seen since. Bonnie didn't resurface until the final show. When I truly have a vendetta with someone there is only one possible result. Their complete and utter decimination. Teddy Blaze had feud after feud after feud. But nobody gets into one with me. Because they know better. Ask Jaice Wilds what happens when I'm angry. Oh.. wait you can't find him either. That's Brandi's fate. This is going to be not only the retirement party for the WCF but for her as well. The difference is.. people will miss the WCF.
Alex pauses.
Richards: Will anyone miss you? No.. not even the Zanudu Circle or Lady Abernathy. To them you are simply a tool.
Alex smirks.
Richards: You are a tool actually. You had the chance to have a family within the Guardians but you didn’t see that. You only saw the power you could gain from us. But did you? No.. you got nothing from your association with the Guardians. When the group dissolved you didn’t even get to keep the world title. In short you got exactly what you brought into the Guardians. Zip. Now that the Guardians have broken up I’m going to make sure you leave with the same after EndGame. If not less. Because right now.. at least you have your health. Which makes you still useful to Lady and the circle jerks. That simple won’t do. I’m making sure you don’t hurt anymore innocents. Ironically by hurting you.
SZR: That’s not ironic. She isn’t innocent.
Richards: You’re not ironic.
SZR: Nice comeback.
Richards: I thought so.
SZR: I was being sarcastic..
Thatch: No.. you weren’t.
Shaun sighs.
SZR: It’s always two on one.
Rebecca proceeds to pants Alex who roars with laughter as he pulls up his pants hiding his heart shaped boxes once more.
Thatch: Happy now Shaun?
SZR: Very much so.
Richards: Normally I would edit something that out of the broadcast. Because it serves no point. But today it does serve a point. See.. that’s the kind of comrodory family shares among each other. We give each other shit and mess with each other because we love each other in the end. You could had have that Brandi but you chose to throw it all away. You chose Lady Abernathy over me as your mentor.
Shaun stifles a laugh. Alex looks at him, shakes his head.
Thatch: He does have a point Alex.
Richards: Yeah.. me a better mentor then someone. That does seem like a laugh. At first. But look at me. Everything I have ever wanted to accomplish in my life and my career I have. Titles.. respect.. a beautiful girlfriend.. family.. friends.. Brandi could have had something like that if she would have listened to the advice I tried to give her. But instead she thought she was better then me. She truly believed she was the only reason I even got to One. She was so full of herself she was blinded to the truth. My will got me to One.. because I refused to settle for less. It ultimately got me the world title. Brandi’s wilful blindness got her a brief reign as champion.. as someone else’s puppet.
The formerly blind lady speaks up.
Thatch: Hey.. don’t use the B word.
Richards: Sorry Becky. When you stand for nothing.. there is a limit as to how much punishment you can take before you decide it’s enough. When you are truly motivated. When you are truly facing someone you despise like I am. There is no limit. There is nothing you can do to me that will lead to your victory Brandi. After Endgame.. the plot you are involved in will come crashing down at the hands of the Archduke. You think I’m stupid but I think for myself and I fight for myself which is more then I can say for you. Ask your Zanadu Circle how it felt when I Sanity Slipped them through that table. Because I did that for you. I wanted to show you what I do when I have no standards of decency to bind me. But think on this.. my beef wasn’t against them. It’s against you. So what do you suppose I’m going to do to you? Triple threat matches have no rules. Why that means I can do anything I want to you and it’s all legal. It’s almost like I was hoping Teo would interject himself doesn’t it? I want to beat you as savagely as I can. I think Teddy will never win the world title. Seems like I got everything I wanted now don’t it?
Alex seemingly begins to walk away.. but then stops.
Richards: This weekend is full of close matches that can go either way. But the main event of the first night my victory is the closest thing to a sure thing as it gets. That's why.. my victory is even more ensured then Brent Alpine vs. Joe Smarts. I'm more likely to win then Damien Kaine and Jeff Purse are to not say a word to promote their matches! Yeah.. that's how confident of victory I am against Brandi and Teo. When I win this match I'm going to hold the world title in the air to celebrate with the fans. But that's not good enough. That's not good enough for the WCF. I'm going to invite my friend and hardcore champion Odin Balfore into the ring to celebrate with me. But hell.. that's not good enough either. I'm going to invite all the legends on the show to celebrate with me! Oblivion! Roy Speede! FPV! Hell it's the last night even my former best friend Bonnie Blue is welcome. She earned her place. Any legends on night 2 who happen to be in the building they are welcome to. But I'm sorry.. Teddy... Brandi... I'm going to have to ask you to leave. This is a celebration of champions... of legends of the sport. I'm sure you understand.
Alex returns to the Strange Rover.. turns his big screen television to channel 666.. dead air.
Richards: It would be a shame to let all that air time go to waste. I could be enlightening people.
SZR: Oh no..
Rebecca grins.
Thatch: Oh yes.
Flash forward to Alex Richards on the set of the cooking show from earlier.. with some ingredients of his own.
Richards: Welcome to real cooking with the Archduke! Tonight we are making Coke-a-cola! The real stuff! The original stuff! Lots of people think the sugar is what you energy... fuck no.. it's the pound of cocaine! I got cocaine.. and grain alcohol.. and the boring crap some essential oils and shit I can barely pronounce.. we're gonna cook it up in this pot and get so high Z Mac is gonna be jealous!
SZR: Is this really better programming then before?
Thatch: Shut up.. I'm taking notes I want to know how to make this.
SZR: Do you really have to. Alex just made it. You can have some of his.
Thatch: We don't like to share... we'd rather have twice as much.
SZR: So you’re both selfish. I can buy that.
Thatch: No.. we want to get twice as hammered.
SZR: You guys are perfectly matched.
Alex continues his "cooking" show live on the air.
Richards: You cook this up in a big pot for an hour or so. At least until the fumes start to get to you. While you're waiting.. I suggest making some food. Grilled Cheese pairs well with O.G. Coke-A-Cola.. I like to cut mine straight down the middle. How do you like those apples Noble Savage? Shots fired motherfucker!
Fade To Black
SZR: So what's the plan?
Alex pats his little brother on the shoulder.
Richards: Don't worry.. Becky and I.. we got this.
Thatch: Do we ever.
Rebecca creeps outside as Alex thunder towards the front door of the trailer like a one man herd of buffalos. He slams his fist against the door in a vicious knock doesn't wait for anyone to answer and rips it open instead. He looks inside and the Tor Johnson look-a-like snarls.
Richards: Why don't you show Plan 9 from Outer Space re runs?
The youthful, handsome face of Alex's rival Evan Lynn scowls back at him behind a desk. Alex looks surprised.
Richards: You're not Noble Savage... or a member of Tempest.. or even Lady Abernathy!
Lynn: Of course I'm not Noble Savage! Why would you think Noble Savage would be behind a genius plan such as this? Noble Savage is not behind any genius plan.
Alex nods.
Richards: I know that.
Lynn: Lies! You walked right into my trap.
Richards: Of course I knew it wasn't really Noble. Noble Savage wouldn't be smart enough to come up with a plan this good. Or pretty much any plan. I hate to admit it but looking back Bonnie Blue used her. She got Noble to join the Guardians because she saw someone who could help her but not someone who was a threat to her in any way. She couldn't beat Bonnie, she couldn't even beat me one on one. So Bonnie got someone who would help her for as long as she needed the help then she could discard her without having to worry about any consequences. Kind of cold really.
Lynn: Hey! What are you doing? It sounds like you are cutting a promo on Noble Savage when you should be paying attention to me!
Richards: Well Evan Lynn.. or Evil as you like to be called. I don't really see you a threat. So I guess in a way I did get an adversary like Noble Savage.
Lynn: You stupid egotistic jackass! Your head is so far up your own ass you can't see a threat when it's in front of you. You will never leave New Jersey alive!
Richards: Can you take the cast of the Jersey Shore with me?
Lynn: Why can't you be serious?
Richards: Because I'm a step ahead of you.. always. Just like Noble Savage.
Lynn: Stop fucking mentioning Noble Savage! This isn't about her! This is about you destroying the livelihood of my ancestor.. Evil Paul Rudd!
Richards: He was a much bigger threat then you were. Or Savage was.
Lynn: Motherfucker! You see this?
Evan reaches under the desk pulling out a red panic button.
Lynn: I press this and all my mercenaries will be on you in seconds. They will tear you to pieces!
Alex feints towards the desk and instead reaches into his doctor's bag and pulls out two boots filled with Zim-Quila.
Richards: Want a last drink?
Lynn: What are you talking about you idiot?
Richards: That's the wrong question. The right question is why do I have two drinks. You see... while I entered here as loudly as possible my girlfriend Becky was strapping a bomb under the trailer.
Evan starts to turn ashen.
Lynn: But that would kill you too!
Richards: Then I go out as a hero. See.. for me taking out one of truly evil man in history.. I'd consider that a win. I may no longer be a Guardian but I'm still a hero. So you see.. all I had to do was keep you occupied for ten minutes so Becky could get far enough away from the trailer and.. boom!
Lynn: You fool! It hasn't been ten minutes!
Evan rushes towards the window. Alex cuts him off.. only to have Evan stiff arm the massive Guardian then dart towards the open door. Alex reaches.. and misses. The door opens Evan rushes out and...
Richards: My bad we scrapped the bomb plan in favour of the piano wire plan. Sometimes.. I just lose my head you know. Well I guess I don't.. but some people do.
Alex exits the trailer next, ducking under the piano wire Rebecca had strung up in the doorway that just decapitate Evan Lynn. Rebecca looks on, almost unemotionless. As Shaun Zach freaks out.
SZR: That was your plan? Your plan was to fucking behead him?
Richards: You don't swear Zach.
SZR: I do not. Why did you do to Rebecca?
Thatch: I remember what Paul did to Alex and myself. He killed us once. His kin would have done the same thing.. maybe permanently this time if we gave him a chance.
Richards: I knew it wasn't really Noble Savage behind that. But the lesson was the same either way. Some people are evil enough then you have to eliminate them entirely before they do more damage. I gave Evan a second chance once.. after he was involved in a kidnapping ring. He went on to this plot. Sometimes you have to stop giving chances. The same is true of Noble Savage.
Alex looks sternly, harshly... thinking about Noble Savage.
Richards: Earlier I was complaining about having to face Noble and Ted in the final show. In a way it serves me right. I forced this match with Noble Savage. I wanted this match with Noble because I want to put her out of her misery. I don't believe Teddy is good enough to be world champion. But I don't believe Noble is good enough to deserve to live. If I'm really thinking about it I'm not even going to call her Noble Savage anymore. I'm simply going to call her Brandi. Because she's not really noble and she certainly isn't savage. She's proved that time after time since the Guardians broke up.
Alex sighs.
Richards: The demise of the Guardians lead to my ascension. But it led to Brandi's self destruction. When we faced off one on one I tried to help her. I tried to teach her what it would take to be world champion. See.. even then I knew I was going to be world champion someday. So I tried to impart that lesson on Brandi. But she didn't understand. When I beat Brandi she didn't realize that what I wanted to do was humble her, to teach her she wasn't undefeatable. I wanted to show her that sometimes you fail. Sometimes everyone fails. But I believed she had more self confidence then she did. Instead of that beating inspiring her it destroyed her confidence completely. One loss shattered her illusion. I did that in one night, in one match. And truth be told... I fought that match for her. To prepare her. Yet.. I still defeated her. What do you suppose is going to happen during a match I am fighting for me. A match my only goal is victory. Mainly because I want to punish her as much as humanly possible. I beat Brandi when I considered her a sister. What do you suppose I'm going to do to her now that I consider her an enemy?
Alex grins grimly.
Richards: Because here's the thing. Like Evan Lynn.. I can get Brandi to fall into any trap that I want to. Then... off with her head.
Alex makes the throat slit motion.
Richards: There is one reason Brandi is challenging me for the world title. Because I wanted her to. After what she did at One it was only a matter of time until I destroyed her for that. But after the stunt she pulled at Kingdom Come I knew that the time was now. So I attacked her Tempest with a steel chair. I put them through a table. I wanted them to hurt. And I wanted Brandi to know it was because of her. The minute I did that I knew I would force her hand. I knew that she would have to cash in her automatic re match and face me for the world title. If I'm handpicking you to face me that speaks volumes as to my confidence level now don't it?
Thatch: You're gonna fuck her up.
Richards: That's obvious. But the why.. the why is the interesting part. See.. I'm a dangerous man even when I have nothing against you. But when you're someone I despise.. you might just as well dig your own grave and invite people to your funeral. The only real question is what kind of minister is going to do the service after I lay Brandi to rest. Because while I may not literally kill her I will kill her career. You brought this on yourself Brandi.. remember that. Your choices is what led to this. Now it's time for you to face the music. I may not be friends with Bonnie Blue anymore but I don't have to be friends with her to admit this. She always was.. and always will be better then you.
Richards: That's why you attacked her during our cage match last month. Because you knew you could never beat Bonnie. That she would always be your better Brandi. So you decided to take a cheap shot at her. Hopefully take her out. Unfortunately you didn't think things through very well. See.. by doing that you stuck your nose into my business. I'll let you in on a no so well kept secret. I've beaten Bonnie before. I was going to win that cage match all on my own and beat Bonnie again. Because of that.. I can say I am better then Blue. But I can say with no arguments from anyone that I am easily better then you.
Alex thinks for a second.
Richards: Brandi and Teo both are probably going to talk about how I would have lost last month if not for Brandi attacking Blue. Teddy might even believe that to be true. But Brandi doesn't. She knows better. She knows I was going to win that match and it scared her. It scared her that I was about to do what she couldn't. It made her look bad. She gave up her humanity to win that title and that wasn't enough. That wasn't enough to get her past Bonnie Blue. Bonnie embarrassed her, she destroyed her. But I was about to beat Blue. Noble couldn't handle that. So she got involved to steal the credit. To steal my victory. That's why I immediately attacked the Zanudu Circle and challenged her. Because I want everyone to know that I am the real champion. Not some sham flash in the pan like Noble was. Noble got lucky in a scramble match at One. She lost to me. She lost to Bonnie. If they faced again she would have lost to Odin as well. But in a chaotic four way dance everything can happen. Even the weakest competitor winning.
Alex stops..
Richards: I'm wasting my breathe. I know that I was winning that match with Bonnie Blue. I know that the reason Brandi interfered was because of jealousy. I was about to do what she couldn't. But I'll never convince Brandi. Because Brandi doesn't think for herself. She allows Lady Abernathy to do all her thinking for her. That's why she was so accepting of Bonnie using her. Because she's used to people using her. That's what I was trying so hard to teach Brandi to be her own person. It's kind of ironic.. people always accuse me of not thinking for myself, now I'm matched up with an opponent that's actually true of. Can you honestly say you wanted to kill that mother and her baby before One?
Thatch: Goddamnit.. again with the baby killing!
Richards: You felt you needed a power increase in order to win the world title? Bullshit! You already beat Odin Balfore... a six time world champion beforehand! There is only one place you are weak Brandi.. and it's mentally! You sacrificed that mother and her baby... basically for nothing. You do realize you did something ghastly simply because Abernasty said so, right?
Alex scowls.
Richards: And it did it nothing for you. You won at One because you were in the right place at the right time. You didn't win because of the murder.. you won because of dumb luck! If you really got a power increase... none of us would have been a match for you, right? But yet.. just the next month Bonnie Blue defeated you for the world title. What happened afterwards? You got kidnapped by your own coven. Your own sisters. They took you away and they tortured you. This is your so called family? They are using you. They are using you.. and you're letting them! You're the grown up version of a puppy hit with a rolled up newspaper!
Alex spits.
Richards: Pathetic! You could be something more. But you choose not even to try! You let people use you however they choose and you never fight back. These are not the actions of a world champion! Psychically you could be a legendary wrestler.. but you chose never to exercise your free will. And what's worse.. you allow evil bitches.. or rather evil witches use you to advance their own means. You could have been something great, you had the potential to be a legend. But instead you became a pawn. A dangerous pawn but a pawn nevertheless. That's why I have to take you out at Endgame. There will be no more dead babies on my watch.
Thatch: That I can get behind.
SZR: You look like a gothic Barbie doll. How is it you're so into babies anyhow?
The Elvira look a like glares at Shaun.
Thatch: That's total stereotyping.
Richards: Enough! There's a time for pleasant banter but now is the not the time. I know there are other rituals. Other death rituals. I know that you will sacrifice more people to please your lady. If.. you are allowed to. This is the Endgame for the WCF. I'm going to make it your Endgame as well. If you were truly focused on this match I might be worried. But I know you're not. I know you are unfocussed. You were always unfocussed. Trying to steal Bonnie's time travel ability at the Rock of Ages, messing with Estella Luiz's psyche when it was completely unnecessary. You're like a child Brandi. No wonder Abernathy was able to get you to trust her. But that lack of focus is going to be your downfall against me. Because when I'm in that ring I am always focussed. If you lose focus.. just for a second.. that's when I strike.
Richards: Do you remember what happened the last time we faced off in a singles match Brandi? You grabbed that wrench. The same wrench you used to win so many matches in the past. You brought it in the ring to use against me. You hesitated. You decided not to use it. You lost focus for less then 15 seconds.. that's all it took for me to hit the Sanity Slip and win the match. And that.... that was when we were friends.
Alex's face darkens.
Richards: I won that match when I was trying to help you.. what do you think I'm going to do when I'm trying to destroy you. Because that's exactly my plan this week. When you leave the WCF.. you become a wildcard. I won't be able to keep tabs on you. I won't know when evil acts you are up to until they come to pass. Which means I won't be able to stop them. Unless I stop you before. I'll take Lady Abernathy's most dangerous tool away from her. By destroying Noble Savage. You had the chance to learn from me.. but you rejected me. You chose to be evil. You chose basically to be an evil lackey. That's unacceptable. The first time you sacrificed someone.. that's on you and your coven. That's not on me.. I didn't know. But the next time you destroy an innocent life.. that is on me because I could have stopped you. So I'm not going to have that on my conscience. I simply am going to slaughter you Brandi. I drew you into this match by attacking your cohorts. Just like I was drawn in by Evan Lynn a few hours ago. The difference is.. I'm smarter then you. I realized it was a trap while you never did. That wrench you carry around sums you up nicely. Brute force with no thought or planning behind it. So bring the wench Brandi.
Alex reaches into his doctor's bag and pulls out... nothing.
Richards: What were you expecting? I'm a monster of a man that can think. That's more destructive then a million wrenches. I'm twice Brandi's size.. I have five times Brandi's experience, and I am a hundred times more motivated to win this match then she is. How do you think this is going to end? All you have going for yourself is aggressiveness but that's not going to be enough. You lack the brains and you lack the heart. You lack the focus. Need I go on? You are simply lacking Brandi. The only thing you were truly elite at is blind hero worshipping. You picked wrong when you chose to idolize Bonnie and you picked even wronger when you made Lady Abernathy your deity of choice. If you somehow survive this. Notice I said survive, not win. Because you will not win and you will not walk away from this encounter with me Brandi I promise you that. But if you somehow survive this.. pick your heroes better next time. Because while that child and her mother couldn't fight back against you... I certainly can on their behalf. You know what this weekend is.. Noble?
SZR: Mothers Day.
Richards: Exactly right. And I'm going to gift the mother you murdered one final gift. She'll get to see you brought to justice from the afterlife. She'll get to see that people do care about the slaughter of the innocents. I care. And I'm more then man enough to do something about it. I'm not going to allow you to win, I'll snuff out your life if I can Brandi, but I'll settle for injuring you for a long long time if I have to. Preferably permanently injure you. Because if I let you leave with the WCF World Title then Lady Abernathy will convince you your Gods have favoured you. I spit on your Gods, on your Lady, and especially on you. You're weak Brandi.... and in the worst way. People who allow themselves to be used.. simply because it's easier then to make your own path. I find them pathetic. I find them worthy of no respect. When we get in the ring Brandi I will not respect you. You may have held the title once but you're not a real champion. Because you're not your own person. That's the worst thing you can be. You're a hollow shell Brandi and someone like that has no real chance against me.
SZR: Are you sure brother... you're not worried?
Alex looks at his brother calmly.
Richards: Not in the slightest. You remember when I swore revenge on John Rabid and Bonnie Blue? I got my revenge in back to back months. John hasn't been seen since. Bonnie didn't resurface until the final show. When I truly have a vendetta with someone there is only one possible result. Their complete and utter decimination. Teddy Blaze had feud after feud after feud. But nobody gets into one with me. Because they know better. Ask Jaice Wilds what happens when I'm angry. Oh.. wait you can't find him either. That's Brandi's fate. This is going to be not only the retirement party for the WCF but for her as well. The difference is.. people will miss the WCF.
Alex pauses.
Richards: Will anyone miss you? No.. not even the Zanudu Circle or Lady Abernathy. To them you are simply a tool.
Alex smirks.
Richards: You are a tool actually. You had the chance to have a family within the Guardians but you didn’t see that. You only saw the power you could gain from us. But did you? No.. you got nothing from your association with the Guardians. When the group dissolved you didn’t even get to keep the world title. In short you got exactly what you brought into the Guardians. Zip. Now that the Guardians have broken up I’m going to make sure you leave with the same after EndGame. If not less. Because right now.. at least you have your health. Which makes you still useful to Lady and the circle jerks. That simple won’t do. I’m making sure you don’t hurt anymore innocents. Ironically by hurting you.
SZR: That’s not ironic. She isn’t innocent.
Richards: You’re not ironic.
SZR: Nice comeback.
Richards: I thought so.
SZR: I was being sarcastic..
Thatch: No.. you weren’t.
Shaun sighs.
SZR: It’s always two on one.
Rebecca proceeds to pants Alex who roars with laughter as he pulls up his pants hiding his heart shaped boxes once more.
Thatch: Happy now Shaun?
SZR: Very much so.
Richards: Normally I would edit something that out of the broadcast. Because it serves no point. But today it does serve a point. See.. that’s the kind of comrodory family shares among each other. We give each other shit and mess with each other because we love each other in the end. You could had have that Brandi but you chose to throw it all away. You chose Lady Abernathy over me as your mentor.
Shaun stifles a laugh. Alex looks at him, shakes his head.
Thatch: He does have a point Alex.
Richards: Yeah.. me a better mentor then someone. That does seem like a laugh. At first. But look at me. Everything I have ever wanted to accomplish in my life and my career I have. Titles.. respect.. a beautiful girlfriend.. family.. friends.. Brandi could have had something like that if she would have listened to the advice I tried to give her. But instead she thought she was better then me. She truly believed she was the only reason I even got to One. She was so full of herself she was blinded to the truth. My will got me to One.. because I refused to settle for less. It ultimately got me the world title. Brandi’s wilful blindness got her a brief reign as champion.. as someone else’s puppet.
The formerly blind lady speaks up.
Thatch: Hey.. don’t use the B word.
Richards: Sorry Becky. When you stand for nothing.. there is a limit as to how much punishment you can take before you decide it’s enough. When you are truly motivated. When you are truly facing someone you despise like I am. There is no limit. There is nothing you can do to me that will lead to your victory Brandi. After Endgame.. the plot you are involved in will come crashing down at the hands of the Archduke. You think I’m stupid but I think for myself and I fight for myself which is more then I can say for you. Ask your Zanadu Circle how it felt when I Sanity Slipped them through that table. Because I did that for you. I wanted to show you what I do when I have no standards of decency to bind me. But think on this.. my beef wasn’t against them. It’s against you. So what do you suppose I’m going to do to you? Triple threat matches have no rules. Why that means I can do anything I want to you and it’s all legal. It’s almost like I was hoping Teo would interject himself doesn’t it? I want to beat you as savagely as I can. I think Teddy will never win the world title. Seems like I got everything I wanted now don’t it?
Alex seemingly begins to walk away.. but then stops.
Richards: This weekend is full of close matches that can go either way. But the main event of the first night my victory is the closest thing to a sure thing as it gets. That's why.. my victory is even more ensured then Brent Alpine vs. Joe Smarts. I'm more likely to win then Damien Kaine and Jeff Purse are to not say a word to promote their matches! Yeah.. that's how confident of victory I am against Brandi and Teo. When I win this match I'm going to hold the world title in the air to celebrate with the fans. But that's not good enough. That's not good enough for the WCF. I'm going to invite my friend and hardcore champion Odin Balfore into the ring to celebrate with me. But hell.. that's not good enough either. I'm going to invite all the legends on the show to celebrate with me! Oblivion! Roy Speede! FPV! Hell it's the last night even my former best friend Bonnie Blue is welcome. She earned her place. Any legends on night 2 who happen to be in the building they are welcome to. But I'm sorry.. Teddy... Brandi... I'm going to have to ask you to leave. This is a celebration of champions... of legends of the sport. I'm sure you understand.
Alex returns to the Strange Rover.. turns his big screen television to channel 666.. dead air.
Richards: It would be a shame to let all that air time go to waste. I could be enlightening people.
SZR: Oh no..
Rebecca grins.
Thatch: Oh yes.
Flash forward to Alex Richards on the set of the cooking show from earlier.. with some ingredients of his own.
Richards: Welcome to real cooking with the Archduke! Tonight we are making Coke-a-cola! The real stuff! The original stuff! Lots of people think the sugar is what you energy... fuck no.. it's the pound of cocaine! I got cocaine.. and grain alcohol.. and the boring crap some essential oils and shit I can barely pronounce.. we're gonna cook it up in this pot and get so high Z Mac is gonna be jealous!
SZR: Is this really better programming then before?
Thatch: Shut up.. I'm taking notes I want to know how to make this.
SZR: Do you really have to. Alex just made it. You can have some of his.
Thatch: We don't like to share... we'd rather have twice as much.
SZR: So you’re both selfish. I can buy that.
Thatch: No.. we want to get twice as hammered.
SZR: You guys are perfectly matched.
Alex continues his "cooking" show live on the air.
Richards: You cook this up in a big pot for an hour or so. At least until the fumes start to get to you. While you're waiting.. I suggest making some food. Grilled Cheese pairs well with O.G. Coke-A-Cola.. I like to cut mine straight down the middle. How do you like those apples Noble Savage? Shots fired motherfucker!
Fade To Black
