Post by 'Jazzy' John McCarty on Mar 3, 2019 17:15:12 GMT -5
The following transcript is an interview between WCF star 'Jazzy' John McCarty and famed EWRevenge.com interviewer, Pierre Cosmybladdersempty.
Pierre: Good morning John, nice to meet you.
John: Morning.
Pierre: Has life been treating you well lately?
John: Well I just got beaten in my hometown so that's not great. But other than that, it's all good.
P: So it's going pretty average then?
J: Yeah I suppose you could say that.
P: That's good. Off to Des Moines this week for Slam for Bonnie Blue's celebration. Are you going to be part of said celebration?
J: Ah... I'm not sure. I respect Bonnie Blue, no doubt about it, and I wouldn't mind a drink or two, but I just don't really wanna celebrate someone else's title win. I'll celebrate my own wins, thank you!
P: Really? I would be celebrating all night long! Anyways, only a very little card this week. Lots of wrestlers on a break. Thoughts?
J: Fair enough. Not a lot of people would want to go to the shithole that Iowa is. But breaks are for losers. I'm one of the few true wrestlers here. I'm down for a wrestle once a week, and that's what I do.
P: Breaks are for losers? I do recall you taking two long breaks throughout your short WCF career.
J: <mockingly> Ooooh. Look at me! I'm a reporter and I've got stats!
P: Um... Okay?
J: Sorry. I've had a long week.
P: We've all been there. You've been excused.
J: Cheers.
P: So what can you tell me about you're opponent, Ultimate Destroyer, or Total Destroyer. Whichever one he goes by these days.
J: Ugh. He's just your average 7 foot superhuman with 400 lbs of pure muscle and lives in a post-apocalyptic yard and his skin slightly glows green. No biggie. You see, it looks like he would crush someone like me. But is he even that good? Nope. If he was that good, he wouldn't be stuck in the midcard such as a fellow like me. You'd expect someone that powerful to be the best wrestler in the fed, but nope. Surprise surprise, he's not that good. He really isn't 400 pounds of pure muscle, rage and whatever. He's just a 400 pound lump of false advertising.
J: So I'm expecting a win this week. I'm not gonna do that stupid thing I usually do and go all 'this opponent is far above me but I think I can win if I work hard enough', because this Ultimate or Total Destroyer ain't even that good.
J: I can't go on about how I won last week, because I didn't. But the difference between last week and this week is that I faced actual wrestlers last week. You see, you're false advertising, fake news, or just a blatant lie. Whatever you wanna call it. And you know what they say, why the fuck you lying.
P: Wise words, John. I'm afraid we're out of time. Nice talking to you.
J: Thank you.
Pierre: Good morning John, nice to meet you.
John: Morning.
Pierre: Has life been treating you well lately?
John: Well I just got beaten in my hometown so that's not great. But other than that, it's all good.
P: So it's going pretty average then?
J: Yeah I suppose you could say that.
P: That's good. Off to Des Moines this week for Slam for Bonnie Blue's celebration. Are you going to be part of said celebration?
J: Ah... I'm not sure. I respect Bonnie Blue, no doubt about it, and I wouldn't mind a drink or two, but I just don't really wanna celebrate someone else's title win. I'll celebrate my own wins, thank you!
P: Really? I would be celebrating all night long! Anyways, only a very little card this week. Lots of wrestlers on a break. Thoughts?
J: Fair enough. Not a lot of people would want to go to the shithole that Iowa is. But breaks are for losers. I'm one of the few true wrestlers here. I'm down for a wrestle once a week, and that's what I do.
P: Breaks are for losers? I do recall you taking two long breaks throughout your short WCF career.
J: <mockingly> Ooooh. Look at me! I'm a reporter and I've got stats!
P: Um... Okay?
J: Sorry. I've had a long week.
P: We've all been there. You've been excused.
J: Cheers.
P: So what can you tell me about you're opponent, Ultimate Destroyer, or Total Destroyer. Whichever one he goes by these days.
J: Ugh. He's just your average 7 foot superhuman with 400 lbs of pure muscle and lives in a post-apocalyptic yard and his skin slightly glows green. No biggie. You see, it looks like he would crush someone like me. But is he even that good? Nope. If he was that good, he wouldn't be stuck in the midcard such as a fellow like me. You'd expect someone that powerful to be the best wrestler in the fed, but nope. Surprise surprise, he's not that good. He really isn't 400 pounds of pure muscle, rage and whatever. He's just a 400 pound lump of false advertising.
J: So I'm expecting a win this week. I'm not gonna do that stupid thing I usually do and go all 'this opponent is far above me but I think I can win if I work hard enough', because this Ultimate or Total Destroyer ain't even that good.
J: I can't go on about how I won last week, because I didn't. But the difference between last week and this week is that I faced actual wrestlers last week. You see, you're false advertising, fake news, or just a blatant lie. Whatever you wanna call it. And you know what they say, why the fuck you lying.
P: Wise words, John. I'm afraid we're out of time. Nice talking to you.
J: Thank you.
