Post by Alex Richards on Feb 10, 2019 22:09:17 GMT -5
Alex Richards sits in the passenger's seat of the Strange Rover. Sipping on a boot full of Zim-Quila. He looks over at his driver/cameraman/brother Shaun Zach and grins.
Alex Richards: We have a few minutes to kill, right Zach?
SZR: I don't think I like where this is going.
Alex Richards: You worry too much Zach.
SZR: I disagree. I think you worry too little. For instance.. you drink alcohol out of footwear yet never worry about germs or viruses or..
Alex Richards: Alcohol kills all of those things Zach. It's science.
SZR: How is that science?
Alex Richards: I could drink Zim-Quila out of a beaker if it makes ya feel any better.
SZR: No! Why would that... never mind. So what are you planning to kill time?
Alex Richards: Just a nice relaxing phone call.
SZR: That doesn't sound too bad.
Alex Richards: To my new tag team partner!
SZR: Oh no.
Alex reaches into his doctor's bag and pulls out his 1980's model oversized cell phone and instantly dials up the number and..
Alex Richards: Hey! All Daddy! What's happening?
Odin Balfore: Don't call me that. It's disrespectful! I'm a god!
Alex Richards: You don't like All Daddy? How about if I call you Odie?
Odin Balfore: I will end you!
Alex Richards: Don't like that one either eh? Just as well wasn't very fitting. The dog from Garfield was much more friendly then you anyways.
Odin Balfore: I only gave you this cell phone number for emergency purposes. What do you want?
Alex Richards: Actually I wanted to thank you.
Odin Balfore: For the team building trip? Think nothing of it. It was an investment in the success of the tag team division. Nothing more.
Alex Richards: You know I could have paid for myself.
Odin Balfore: You do know I'm a God who's been around since the dawning of time, right? You know why I always pay for my tag team partners? Because I have so much money it's not possible to spend it all.
Alex Richards: That's not why I called to thank you though. After last week's loss to James Wolf normally I would have been downright disheartened. But instead I followed your lead.
Odin Balfore: Oh really?
Alex Richards: Yeah when you lose a match, like to me
Odin grunts but says nothing.
Alex Richards: It doesn't seem to bother you. Because you know that your victories in high profile matches mean a lot more then a random loss. So yeah I lost to James Wolf.. but nobody is going to remember that when we win the first WCF tag league.
Odin Balfore: At least you learned something. Maybe there's hope for you yet.
Alex Richards: I'm going to take that as encouragement.
Odin Balfore: Don't get carried away.
Alex Richards: Now I've been thinking. We are going to win the first ever WCF tag league so that means there's probably going to be a trophy or something, right?
Odin Balfore: If you suggest some stupid trophy idea I swear...
Alex Richards: No, of course not. Corey Black probably already made it a massive bottle of Diet Coke anyways. What I'm more concerned about is the inscription. We need a cool team name to engrave on the trophy.
Odin Balfore: No we don't! And if you suggest The Guardians or some version of the Guardians I'm hanging up right now.
Alex Richards: So you're saying you don't like The God-ians
Odin Balfore: I said it before.. I'll end you.
Alex Richards: I got it! God-boot! You're a God.. I drink from a boot it's...
Odin Balfore: Stupid.
Alex Richards: Don't worry I got tons more ideas! The Big Bad Bald Daddies!
Odin Balfore: That doesn't even make any sense! How did you..
Alex Richards: It's science! I simply
Odin Balfore: Never mind I'm hanging up.
Click
Balfore does indeed hang up on his tag partner who bursts out laughing.
SZR: You really think that was a good idea?
Alex Richards: It was a great idea! I can feel the teamwork building already!
SZR: That's your idea of team building?
Alex Richards: Dude.. we're facing Stephen Singh and Scott Slayer. We could show up half in the bag and fighting each other and we'd still have the match in the bag. Besides I think Odin has been messing with my dreams lately so consider this some payback.
SZR: If Odin can mess with your dreams is pissing him off a good idea?
Alex Richards: I'm Alex Richards. I fear no man.. or no God. Or haunted house for that matter.
SZR: I do. That's why I'm not going in.
Alex Richards: Suit yourself Zach. You're gonna miss out on all the fun though.
And with that Alex steps out of the Strange Rover. Walking towards the ominous looking ancient house. The once white paint on the outside has mostly peeled off now leaving an uninviting blackish rotted wood color to the house. Alex looks at to the second story noticing all the windows have been boarded up. He grins and knocks on the door. Obviously getting no answer. Alex opens it with a solid kick then walks inside. He begins to take a stroll checking out the assortment of cobwebs and skittering rats.
Alex Richards: Salem has always had a dubious history. But the WCF has seen enough of witches lately. So instead we are were in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
The floor creeks loudly as Alex starts his story.
Alex Richards: I figured I’d come in here and do the scooby doo thing. Speaking of which.. where’d I put those scooby snacks.
Alex reaches into his doctor’s bag and pulls out a bong. From which he takes several big tokes.
Alex Richards: That’s more like it! Now on with the story. This place has been abandoned for almost a hundred years. Give or take. I mean people have moved in. Some quickly moved out. Some were carried out. In a box.
Thunder is heard off in the distance. In spite of the fact that wasn't a cloud in the sky a few moments ago.
Alex Richards: As you can probably guess there were some murders here. A mother, a daughter, and a son. But no father. He wasn't home at the time. But it was said to be a brutal, bloody murder. It was said to be a crime of passion perhaps. The walls literally dripped with blood.
Alex looks around, the walls are indeed dripping with blood. It looks sort of fake though. Alex tries to keep a straight face as he continues.
Alex Richards: Now most of the locals. They believed Jacob Jackson murdered his wife Mary and their children. Rumour has it he was a jealous sort and thought she was cheating on him, then the kids weren't his. Old Jake just happening to be out at a tavern that night. People didn't believe it. They shouldn't have either. Nobody who was at the tavern that night remembers seeing Jacob.
Screams are heard off in the distance. Perhaps from the second floor.
Alex Richards: But Jacob never saw justice. Instead another man Louis Carter confessed to the crime. He was hung. Then the haunting started here. See, people started believing that maybe Lou wasn't the real killer. Maybe he was covering for Jacob. Maybe was he just crazy enough to believe he committed murders he had nothing to do with it. But when he died the truth died with him. Jacob boarded up the house, got remarried, and lived out the rest of the life. On his deathbed he asked for a priest then laughed in his face saying he was sorry for nothing he did in his whole life.
Alex chuckles and walks towards what appears to be a broom closet.
Alex Richards: Or maybe none of that story is true. Maybe this place is all bored up because two rich people got divorced and have spent the last twenty years fighting over who really owns it in the court system.
Alex opens the closet.. where Rebecca Thatch is inside grinning.
Rebecca Thatch: How were the effects?
Alex Richards: Karo syrup and red food coloring. You went old school evil dead I'm impressed.
Rebecca Thatch: Have to go with the classics.
Alex Richards: In case you're wondering that was a real legend. But Becky and I came here and nothing exciting was happening so we figured we'd beef things up a bit. Besides this legend is the almost perfect metaphor for Odin and mine's opponents this week. Whether the legend turns out to be real or not one thing is for sure. It's a real legend. It will live on in one form or another forever. Our opponents this week.. they aren't going to have that luxury. They won't be legendary, they won't be remembered.
Alex shrugs.
Alex Richards: But as for the story.. it matches Stephen and Scott perfectly. Or rather Stephen and all his partners for that matter. Odin and I don't like each other. Both of us have made that point quite clear. But if I'm being honest.. we are two of the biggest badasses on the WCF roster. Just because we hate each other doesn't mean we are not going to kick the shit out of anyone unlucky enough to face us. Stephen Singh though, he's not that kind of guy. I lost my chance at the world title at One and immediately thought what do I have to do to earn myself another chance?
Alex shakes his head.
Alex Richards: Stephen doesn't think like that. Stephen is a two time WCF world champion. On the backs of others. Always on the backs of others. Many people including my partner have said I am not a leader. Well I'm more of a leader then Singh will ever be. Everything he's ever accomplished was as the result of using other people to help him get here. I may not like Odin but I do have to admit his victories are his own. As are my victories. The Church of Singh was created for one reason. Because Stephen would not be able to succeed on his own. He needed an army of weak minded meat shields to fight his battles for him. Why do you think he hasn't accomplished anything since Mikey X won the world title instead of him at the Showdown? Because without his allies he is nothing.
Rebecca Thatch: And he knows it.
Alex Richards: He absolutely knows it. That's why he quietly faded into the shadows as Mikey reigned. That's why he faked an injury and got himself appointed as general manager. Because that sort of thing is Stephen's wheelhouse. He gets all the power and all the attention he wants without having to put the work in. That's what Stephen Singh is all about. Maximum results with minimum effort. Whenever the tide turns.. he lets his so called friends take the beating for him. After the church collapsed he kept a pretty low profile. Because he knew that he would have to fight his own battles. He knew how that was going to go. He's not called Thievin' Steven because he likes to cheat. He's called Thievin Steven because cheating is the only way he knows how to succeed. If he doesn't have an unfair advantage he has no advantage.
Rebecca Thatch: So that's why he came back during the tag league.
Alex Richards: Exactly. He had a chance to recruit new flunkies to help him. And boy did he ever find a perfect one. Scott Slayer is an ideal stooge. He tried to form a group of his own. Instead he ended up getting used by Kennedy Mathews. What's worse is that he was too stupid to realize it! He honestly didn't know that Mathews used him to win the hardcore title. She used their relationship to get into HIS scheduled title match. Then she used what she learned from him while they trained to retain the title against him in a rematch. Scott never realized that when people thought of their partnership they never thought of him as the real threat. They only thought of his partner. Kennedy used Slayer and he was too dumb to be any the wiser.
Alex Richards: That's not even the worst part. The worst part is that he learned nothing from it! I've seen him the past few weeks hanging out with Stephen Singh like they are long lost best friends. Talking about how they are both underdogs being held back by the system. Are you kidding me Scott? Stephen is the fucking reason you never won the hardcore title! He could have given you that one on one match with DW Wolf. He chose not to! Because he didn't care about you then. He doesn't care about you now! I've teamed with Stephen Singh in the Helimination. He turned on us. Because that's what he does!
Alex chuckles.
Alex Richards: He got the perfect partner in the tag league for the way he operates too. He looks for underachievers. People like Kid Dynamo, Leon Hayze, Micheal X. Talented people who could and will do more. That way when they do.. he can take credit for their success. And more importantly, they will honestly believe he's helping them instead of the truth. Stephen is and always has been in it only for himself. Why do you think he walked out on X at One? Because that match didn't help Stephen Singh so fuck it. You can expect the same Slayer. When Stephen realizes you are not good enough to get him past Odin and Alex he'll abandon you too. Because better you take a beating then him, right Singh? You're a pathetic coward of a man Stephen and your partner is a complete idiot who deserves everything he's about to get because he's not smart enough to see the truth.
Rebecca Thatch: Kind of like Scott Slayer is pussy whipped without even getting the pussy?
Alex laughs.
Alex Richards: Exactly it! Now I'm not saying I'm taking this week's match lightly. I know that Odin and I winning this week means we win our bracket of the tag league outright. But it's mighty hard not to be confident when you think about it. First off Stephen Singh is Odin Balfore's bitch. Straight up. Odin kicks his ass every single time. Odin Balfore just happens to be my tag team partner. Now I beat Odin Balfore twice. So I'm thinking the chances of me being better then Stephen Singh are pretty damn good. And thinking about it.. didn't I pin his ass in the Helimination last year? No fucking wonder that petty asshole turned on the Guardians team this year. That was probably his passive aggressive bitch ass attempt at payback. Well remind him to how him how payback is really done when I cave in his skull this week. If and this is a big if, if Odin doesn't beat me to it. So let's recap Stephen is Odin's bitch and as for Scott Slayer.. he's pretty much just everybody's bitch isn't it? I mean as far as signature wins go.. do you even have one? Have you ever defeated a big star?
Alex Richards: Sorry Scott that isn't going to change this week. There are people who win the world title because they worked for it and earned it. That's what I'm going to do. There are world champions who are gifted with the strength of Gods like my partner. Then there's users who climb the backs of others to win world titles like Singh. Then simple foot soldiers. When I put it that way does this even seem like a competitive match? If it does I'm sorry I'm giving you guys way too much credit.
Alex Richards: Let me sum things up. Remember the time Stephen Singh decided to help Adam Young win the world title because he figured it would be an easy way to get the gold back? Then he lost. Good times. That's the Wile E. Coyote planning skills of Stephen Singh ladies and gentlemen. Yeah.. you guys are fucked. But cheer up Singh.. look on the bright side maybe Odin or I will injure you again and you can go back to the head office. Wait.. why is that a bright side? Everything you tried to do as an executive was a failure too. You tried to make everything about you, just like you do as a wrestler, but as always you lack the skill to back up your bragging. But hey.. at least you're not Scott Slayer. That's something. I guess.
Rebecca Thatch: You really don’t like Scott Slayer do you?
Alex Richards: I don’t like Scott Slayer because he refuses to take responsibility for his actions. I can’t even feel sorry for him for getting used by Kennedy and now Stephen because he’s really no better. The reason he’s blinded to the truth about his partners is because he ignores reality to suit his own needs. He created this whole Scott Shadow thing so he didn’t have to take responsbility for the fact he murdered his uncle. Because yes Scott Slayer.. you did it. Now I ain’t judging you for that. I’ve killed before too. But I am judging you for refusing to deal with the consquences. You’re not a real man because you refuse to take responsibility for what you did. Maybe you are the right partner for Singh. A couple of cowards who refuse to admit who they are. I’ve done bad things but I did them for the right reasons. You just do bad things because you want to. You’re a child Slayer. You have no sense of wrong or right. You killed your uncle because... he was a bully? You’re a joke Scott Slayer. You think the fact you can kill untrained people off the street makes you some sort of bad ass? No, it makes you a worst version of a bully then your uncle. You are the thing you hate most Scott. I bet deep down you know it. That’s why you haven’t been successful in the WCF. You don’t know why you’re fighting. You lose repeatedly because you fight for absolutely nothing. Don’t worry absolutely nothing is what you’re going to be left with at the end of Slam this week.
Rebecca Thatch: Stephen did put you in the main event of One.
Alex Richards: No he didn't. I earned that match and he had no choice but to give me my chance. This week I will earn another title opportunity at his expense. Last week Scott and Stephen got destroyed by the final WCF tag team champions. This time they will get destroyed by the finest tag team on the roster. At least the finest tag team in name only. For the record though, Odin and I beat Jazzy and Matt. Because we're real wrestlers, real champions. We don't lose trap matches like that. That was our first time as a team and we beat the tag team champions. The same team you lost to. We're going to be that much better each and every time we team up. And as for our opponents.. well you guys are screwed. When this match is over you will know why... confusion always reigns!
Heavy footsteps are heard off in the distance.. but growing closer..
Alex Richards: Nice effect! How did you do that?
Rebecca laughs.
Rebecca Thatch: Nice try Alex. But I know you're behind that. You got Shaun to sneak in from the Strange Rover didn’t you?
Alex Richards: No way! He refused to step foot in this place!
Rebecca Thatch: If it's not you and it's not me then...
They turn around and..
Rebecca Thatch: All Daddy!
Rebecca rushes over and gives Odin Balfore a hug.
Alex Richards: How come you can call him that and he doesn't get mad?
Odin Balfore: Because she's my blind poon.
Alex Richards: Hey!
Rebecca Thatch: He meant it in a respectful way.
Odin Balfore: You gotta respect the poon otherwise you end up with nothing but hand poon like them betas.
Alex Richards: Why are you here anyways?
Odin Balfore: As part of our team building I wanted to see how Alex Richards entertains himself.
Alex Richards: This isn't how I entertain myself. This was how I get myself into the proper mindset for a fight.
Odin nods.
Odin Balfore: Whatever works for you. As long as we win.
Alex Richards: We will win.
Odin Balfore: There was never a doubt of that. But since I footed the bill during the cruise maybe now while I'm here you take us out on a team building exercise. I'll give let you pick.
Alex immediately answers.
Alex Richards: We go to the screen printers. Get 5000 God-ians t shirts printed! Pass em out around town.
Odin Balfore: Motherfucker I said knock that Guardian shit off!
Alex Richards: We could get matching tattoos! That's a team thing, right?
Odin Balfore: I got it. We both get your face tattooed on our chests with the caption I'm with stupid.
Alex Richards: We really are a team! It's like we're in sync!
Odin Balfore: I was being sarcastic you moron!
Alex Richards: How am I supposed to tell the difference between normal angry Odin and sarcastic angry Odin?
Odin Balfore: I need to drink until I forget we're a team.
Alex Richards: Now that's an activity I can get behind!
Odin Balfore: Winning this tournament better be worth it..
Fade To Black
Alex Richards: We have a few minutes to kill, right Zach?
SZR: I don't think I like where this is going.
Alex Richards: You worry too much Zach.
SZR: I disagree. I think you worry too little. For instance.. you drink alcohol out of footwear yet never worry about germs or viruses or..
Alex Richards: Alcohol kills all of those things Zach. It's science.
SZR: How is that science?
Alex Richards: I could drink Zim-Quila out of a beaker if it makes ya feel any better.
SZR: No! Why would that... never mind. So what are you planning to kill time?
Alex Richards: Just a nice relaxing phone call.
SZR: That doesn't sound too bad.
Alex Richards: To my new tag team partner!
SZR: Oh no.
Alex reaches into his doctor's bag and pulls out his 1980's model oversized cell phone and instantly dials up the number and..
Alex Richards: Hey! All Daddy! What's happening?
Odin Balfore: Don't call me that. It's disrespectful! I'm a god!
Alex Richards: You don't like All Daddy? How about if I call you Odie?
Odin Balfore: I will end you!
Alex Richards: Don't like that one either eh? Just as well wasn't very fitting. The dog from Garfield was much more friendly then you anyways.
Odin Balfore: I only gave you this cell phone number for emergency purposes. What do you want?
Alex Richards: Actually I wanted to thank you.
Odin Balfore: For the team building trip? Think nothing of it. It was an investment in the success of the tag team division. Nothing more.
Alex Richards: You know I could have paid for myself.
Odin Balfore: You do know I'm a God who's been around since the dawning of time, right? You know why I always pay for my tag team partners? Because I have so much money it's not possible to spend it all.
Alex Richards: That's not why I called to thank you though. After last week's loss to James Wolf normally I would have been downright disheartened. But instead I followed your lead.
Odin Balfore: Oh really?
Alex Richards: Yeah when you lose a match, like to me
Odin grunts but says nothing.
Alex Richards: It doesn't seem to bother you. Because you know that your victories in high profile matches mean a lot more then a random loss. So yeah I lost to James Wolf.. but nobody is going to remember that when we win the first WCF tag league.
Odin Balfore: At least you learned something. Maybe there's hope for you yet.
Alex Richards: I'm going to take that as encouragement.
Odin Balfore: Don't get carried away.
Alex Richards: Now I've been thinking. We are going to win the first ever WCF tag league so that means there's probably going to be a trophy or something, right?
Odin Balfore: If you suggest some stupid trophy idea I swear...
Alex Richards: No, of course not. Corey Black probably already made it a massive bottle of Diet Coke anyways. What I'm more concerned about is the inscription. We need a cool team name to engrave on the trophy.
Odin Balfore: No we don't! And if you suggest The Guardians or some version of the Guardians I'm hanging up right now.
Alex Richards: So you're saying you don't like The God-ians
Odin Balfore: I said it before.. I'll end you.
Alex Richards: I got it! God-boot! You're a God.. I drink from a boot it's...
Odin Balfore: Stupid.
Alex Richards: Don't worry I got tons more ideas! The Big Bad Bald Daddies!
Odin Balfore: That doesn't even make any sense! How did you..
Alex Richards: It's science! I simply
Odin Balfore: Never mind I'm hanging up.
Click
Balfore does indeed hang up on his tag partner who bursts out laughing.
SZR: You really think that was a good idea?
Alex Richards: It was a great idea! I can feel the teamwork building already!
SZR: That's your idea of team building?
Alex Richards: Dude.. we're facing Stephen Singh and Scott Slayer. We could show up half in the bag and fighting each other and we'd still have the match in the bag. Besides I think Odin has been messing with my dreams lately so consider this some payback.
SZR: If Odin can mess with your dreams is pissing him off a good idea?
Alex Richards: I'm Alex Richards. I fear no man.. or no God. Or haunted house for that matter.
SZR: I do. That's why I'm not going in.
Alex Richards: Suit yourself Zach. You're gonna miss out on all the fun though.
And with that Alex steps out of the Strange Rover. Walking towards the ominous looking ancient house. The once white paint on the outside has mostly peeled off now leaving an uninviting blackish rotted wood color to the house. Alex looks at to the second story noticing all the windows have been boarded up. He grins and knocks on the door. Obviously getting no answer. Alex opens it with a solid kick then walks inside. He begins to take a stroll checking out the assortment of cobwebs and skittering rats.
Alex Richards: Salem has always had a dubious history. But the WCF has seen enough of witches lately. So instead we are were in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
The floor creeks loudly as Alex starts his story.
Alex Richards: I figured I’d come in here and do the scooby doo thing. Speaking of which.. where’d I put those scooby snacks.
Alex reaches into his doctor’s bag and pulls out a bong. From which he takes several big tokes.
Alex Richards: That’s more like it! Now on with the story. This place has been abandoned for almost a hundred years. Give or take. I mean people have moved in. Some quickly moved out. Some were carried out. In a box.
Thunder is heard off in the distance. In spite of the fact that wasn't a cloud in the sky a few moments ago.
Alex Richards: As you can probably guess there were some murders here. A mother, a daughter, and a son. But no father. He wasn't home at the time. But it was said to be a brutal, bloody murder. It was said to be a crime of passion perhaps. The walls literally dripped with blood.
Alex looks around, the walls are indeed dripping with blood. It looks sort of fake though. Alex tries to keep a straight face as he continues.
Alex Richards: Now most of the locals. They believed Jacob Jackson murdered his wife Mary and their children. Rumour has it he was a jealous sort and thought she was cheating on him, then the kids weren't his. Old Jake just happening to be out at a tavern that night. People didn't believe it. They shouldn't have either. Nobody who was at the tavern that night remembers seeing Jacob.
Screams are heard off in the distance. Perhaps from the second floor.
Alex Richards: But Jacob never saw justice. Instead another man Louis Carter confessed to the crime. He was hung. Then the haunting started here. See, people started believing that maybe Lou wasn't the real killer. Maybe he was covering for Jacob. Maybe was he just crazy enough to believe he committed murders he had nothing to do with it. But when he died the truth died with him. Jacob boarded up the house, got remarried, and lived out the rest of the life. On his deathbed he asked for a priest then laughed in his face saying he was sorry for nothing he did in his whole life.
Alex chuckles and walks towards what appears to be a broom closet.
Alex Richards: Or maybe none of that story is true. Maybe this place is all bored up because two rich people got divorced and have spent the last twenty years fighting over who really owns it in the court system.
Alex opens the closet.. where Rebecca Thatch is inside grinning.
Rebecca Thatch: How were the effects?
Alex Richards: Karo syrup and red food coloring. You went old school evil dead I'm impressed.
Rebecca Thatch: Have to go with the classics.
Alex Richards: In case you're wondering that was a real legend. But Becky and I came here and nothing exciting was happening so we figured we'd beef things up a bit. Besides this legend is the almost perfect metaphor for Odin and mine's opponents this week. Whether the legend turns out to be real or not one thing is for sure. It's a real legend. It will live on in one form or another forever. Our opponents this week.. they aren't going to have that luxury. They won't be legendary, they won't be remembered.
Alex shrugs.
Alex Richards: But as for the story.. it matches Stephen and Scott perfectly. Or rather Stephen and all his partners for that matter. Odin and I don't like each other. Both of us have made that point quite clear. But if I'm being honest.. we are two of the biggest badasses on the WCF roster. Just because we hate each other doesn't mean we are not going to kick the shit out of anyone unlucky enough to face us. Stephen Singh though, he's not that kind of guy. I lost my chance at the world title at One and immediately thought what do I have to do to earn myself another chance?
Alex shakes his head.
Alex Richards: Stephen doesn't think like that. Stephen is a two time WCF world champion. On the backs of others. Always on the backs of others. Many people including my partner have said I am not a leader. Well I'm more of a leader then Singh will ever be. Everything he's ever accomplished was as the result of using other people to help him get here. I may not like Odin but I do have to admit his victories are his own. As are my victories. The Church of Singh was created for one reason. Because Stephen would not be able to succeed on his own. He needed an army of weak minded meat shields to fight his battles for him. Why do you think he hasn't accomplished anything since Mikey X won the world title instead of him at the Showdown? Because without his allies he is nothing.
Rebecca Thatch: And he knows it.
Alex Richards: He absolutely knows it. That's why he quietly faded into the shadows as Mikey reigned. That's why he faked an injury and got himself appointed as general manager. Because that sort of thing is Stephen's wheelhouse. He gets all the power and all the attention he wants without having to put the work in. That's what Stephen Singh is all about. Maximum results with minimum effort. Whenever the tide turns.. he lets his so called friends take the beating for him. After the church collapsed he kept a pretty low profile. Because he knew that he would have to fight his own battles. He knew how that was going to go. He's not called Thievin' Steven because he likes to cheat. He's called Thievin Steven because cheating is the only way he knows how to succeed. If he doesn't have an unfair advantage he has no advantage.
Rebecca Thatch: So that's why he came back during the tag league.
Alex Richards: Exactly. He had a chance to recruit new flunkies to help him. And boy did he ever find a perfect one. Scott Slayer is an ideal stooge. He tried to form a group of his own. Instead he ended up getting used by Kennedy Mathews. What's worse is that he was too stupid to realize it! He honestly didn't know that Mathews used him to win the hardcore title. She used their relationship to get into HIS scheduled title match. Then she used what she learned from him while they trained to retain the title against him in a rematch. Scott never realized that when people thought of their partnership they never thought of him as the real threat. They only thought of his partner. Kennedy used Slayer and he was too dumb to be any the wiser.
Alex Richards: That's not even the worst part. The worst part is that he learned nothing from it! I've seen him the past few weeks hanging out with Stephen Singh like they are long lost best friends. Talking about how they are both underdogs being held back by the system. Are you kidding me Scott? Stephen is the fucking reason you never won the hardcore title! He could have given you that one on one match with DW Wolf. He chose not to! Because he didn't care about you then. He doesn't care about you now! I've teamed with Stephen Singh in the Helimination. He turned on us. Because that's what he does!
Alex chuckles.
Alex Richards: He got the perfect partner in the tag league for the way he operates too. He looks for underachievers. People like Kid Dynamo, Leon Hayze, Micheal X. Talented people who could and will do more. That way when they do.. he can take credit for their success. And more importantly, they will honestly believe he's helping them instead of the truth. Stephen is and always has been in it only for himself. Why do you think he walked out on X at One? Because that match didn't help Stephen Singh so fuck it. You can expect the same Slayer. When Stephen realizes you are not good enough to get him past Odin and Alex he'll abandon you too. Because better you take a beating then him, right Singh? You're a pathetic coward of a man Stephen and your partner is a complete idiot who deserves everything he's about to get because he's not smart enough to see the truth.
Rebecca Thatch: Kind of like Scott Slayer is pussy whipped without even getting the pussy?
Alex laughs.
Alex Richards: Exactly it! Now I'm not saying I'm taking this week's match lightly. I know that Odin and I winning this week means we win our bracket of the tag league outright. But it's mighty hard not to be confident when you think about it. First off Stephen Singh is Odin Balfore's bitch. Straight up. Odin kicks his ass every single time. Odin Balfore just happens to be my tag team partner. Now I beat Odin Balfore twice. So I'm thinking the chances of me being better then Stephen Singh are pretty damn good. And thinking about it.. didn't I pin his ass in the Helimination last year? No fucking wonder that petty asshole turned on the Guardians team this year. That was probably his passive aggressive bitch ass attempt at payback. Well remind him to how him how payback is really done when I cave in his skull this week. If and this is a big if, if Odin doesn't beat me to it. So let's recap Stephen is Odin's bitch and as for Scott Slayer.. he's pretty much just everybody's bitch isn't it? I mean as far as signature wins go.. do you even have one? Have you ever defeated a big star?
Alex Richards: Sorry Scott that isn't going to change this week. There are people who win the world title because they worked for it and earned it. That's what I'm going to do. There are world champions who are gifted with the strength of Gods like my partner. Then there's users who climb the backs of others to win world titles like Singh. Then simple foot soldiers. When I put it that way does this even seem like a competitive match? If it does I'm sorry I'm giving you guys way too much credit.
Alex Richards: Let me sum things up. Remember the time Stephen Singh decided to help Adam Young win the world title because he figured it would be an easy way to get the gold back? Then he lost. Good times. That's the Wile E. Coyote planning skills of Stephen Singh ladies and gentlemen. Yeah.. you guys are fucked. But cheer up Singh.. look on the bright side maybe Odin or I will injure you again and you can go back to the head office. Wait.. why is that a bright side? Everything you tried to do as an executive was a failure too. You tried to make everything about you, just like you do as a wrestler, but as always you lack the skill to back up your bragging. But hey.. at least you're not Scott Slayer. That's something. I guess.
Rebecca Thatch: You really don’t like Scott Slayer do you?
Alex Richards: I don’t like Scott Slayer because he refuses to take responsibility for his actions. I can’t even feel sorry for him for getting used by Kennedy and now Stephen because he’s really no better. The reason he’s blinded to the truth about his partners is because he ignores reality to suit his own needs. He created this whole Scott Shadow thing so he didn’t have to take responsbility for the fact he murdered his uncle. Because yes Scott Slayer.. you did it. Now I ain’t judging you for that. I’ve killed before too. But I am judging you for refusing to deal with the consquences. You’re not a real man because you refuse to take responsibility for what you did. Maybe you are the right partner for Singh. A couple of cowards who refuse to admit who they are. I’ve done bad things but I did them for the right reasons. You just do bad things because you want to. You’re a child Slayer. You have no sense of wrong or right. You killed your uncle because... he was a bully? You’re a joke Scott Slayer. You think the fact you can kill untrained people off the street makes you some sort of bad ass? No, it makes you a worst version of a bully then your uncle. You are the thing you hate most Scott. I bet deep down you know it. That’s why you haven’t been successful in the WCF. You don’t know why you’re fighting. You lose repeatedly because you fight for absolutely nothing. Don’t worry absolutely nothing is what you’re going to be left with at the end of Slam this week.
Rebecca Thatch: Stephen did put you in the main event of One.
Alex Richards: No he didn't. I earned that match and he had no choice but to give me my chance. This week I will earn another title opportunity at his expense. Last week Scott and Stephen got destroyed by the final WCF tag team champions. This time they will get destroyed by the finest tag team on the roster. At least the finest tag team in name only. For the record though, Odin and I beat Jazzy and Matt. Because we're real wrestlers, real champions. We don't lose trap matches like that. That was our first time as a team and we beat the tag team champions. The same team you lost to. We're going to be that much better each and every time we team up. And as for our opponents.. well you guys are screwed. When this match is over you will know why... confusion always reigns!
Heavy footsteps are heard off in the distance.. but growing closer..
Alex Richards: Nice effect! How did you do that?
Rebecca laughs.
Rebecca Thatch: Nice try Alex. But I know you're behind that. You got Shaun to sneak in from the Strange Rover didn’t you?
Alex Richards: No way! He refused to step foot in this place!
Rebecca Thatch: If it's not you and it's not me then...
They turn around and..
Rebecca Thatch: All Daddy!
Rebecca rushes over and gives Odin Balfore a hug.
Alex Richards: How come you can call him that and he doesn't get mad?
Odin Balfore: Because she's my blind poon.
Alex Richards: Hey!
Rebecca Thatch: He meant it in a respectful way.
Odin Balfore: You gotta respect the poon otherwise you end up with nothing but hand poon like them betas.
Alex Richards: Why are you here anyways?
Odin Balfore: As part of our team building I wanted to see how Alex Richards entertains himself.
Alex Richards: This isn't how I entertain myself. This was how I get myself into the proper mindset for a fight.
Odin nods.
Odin Balfore: Whatever works for you. As long as we win.
Alex Richards: We will win.
Odin Balfore: There was never a doubt of that. But since I footed the bill during the cruise maybe now while I'm here you take us out on a team building exercise. I'll give let you pick.
Alex immediately answers.
Alex Richards: We go to the screen printers. Get 5000 God-ians t shirts printed! Pass em out around town.
Odin Balfore: Motherfucker I said knock that Guardian shit off!
Alex Richards: We could get matching tattoos! That's a team thing, right?
Odin Balfore: I got it. We both get your face tattooed on our chests with the caption I'm with stupid.
Alex Richards: We really are a team! It's like we're in sync!
Odin Balfore: I was being sarcastic you moron!
Alex Richards: How am I supposed to tell the difference between normal angry Odin and sarcastic angry Odin?
Odin Balfore: I need to drink until I forget we're a team.
Alex Richards: Now that's an activity I can get behind!
Odin Balfore: Winning this tournament better be worth it..
Fade To Black
