Post by Jay Omega on Jan 31, 2019 4:20:37 GMT -5
*Welcome back, True Believers! We begin with the classic fade in to find a casually dressed Jay Omega wearing loose blue jeans, a black T-shirt bearing the album cover of Distant Sun's Dark Matter, and his ruddy red leather vest. No longer in the desert, the Once and Future King of Pain is standing in a large, well-lit lobby, occupying a small clear spot among a crowd of people whose garb runs the gamut from tacky to tasteful, very few of which pay any attention to the doings of our intrepid protagonist.*
Jay Omega: Abracadabra! Boom-shaka-day! I’m Violent Jay and I’m back like a vertebrae!
*No sooner are the words out of his mouth than Jay winces and shakes his head.*
Jay Omega: I’m sorry; I can’t believe I just quoted the Insane Clown Posse. Though it’s kind of fitting, since you’d have to be insane to think a clown like Sammy McPee and his posse have what it takes to beat me at all, let alone in a Hardcore title match. I have conclusively proven in the past that I am more than a capable contender in this division - hence my self-proclaimed title of “King of Pain” - I’m a Xor-damned juggernaut.
*Omega motions for the camera to follow him, then begins to wade through the human sea, heading toward a bank of slot machines.*
Jay Omega: After my last video, I figured since I was already near Vegas, why not hit up Sin City for a bit of a good time? After all, since Sam isn’t even close to the monster Dune was, I don’t need to worry all that much about how this match is gonna go, meaning I’ve got a fair bit of free time. And I thought to myself “why not kill some time at Slickie T’s casino?” but then I remembered that I don't know the name of said casino, and none of the people I’ve asked have been able to tell me, so the Em Gee Em Grand will have to do.
*Jay gives a hapless shrug and slides his posterior onto a padded stool in front of the last slot machine in the row.*
Jay Omega: I wanted to check around town, see if there was anybody who could give me a little insight about Sammy, and I asked a lot of people if there was anything they could tell me about McPherson, but all anyone said was “naarp” before they laughed and walked away. I think that’s supposed to be a reference to Sam’s communication disability, and I gotta say, it’s kinda rude to make fun of handicapped people like that.
*Omega makes a sour face and clucks his tongue.*
Jay Omega: Having done my due diligence, I’ve learned that Samuel is on the autism spectrum, and is also in a homosexual marriage with a weird German fetishist named Lord Raab. I’m not sure what’s up with the kid they have, but he’s not relevant. I mean, neither is any of what I just mentioned, I just wanted you all to know that I did actually do some research, unlike literally every opponent I have faced since my return at One. Will Samuel look into who I am and what I’ve done, or will he parrot all the same old shit those before him have spewed? Time will tell, if Sam ever gets around to promoting the match.
*The Omega Man digs a fistful of coins from the inside pocket of his red leather vest and begins loading up the slot machine in front of him.*
Jay Omega: See, I don’t think Sammy understands that a big part of Hardcore matches in the dub lies in preparing. And believe you me, I plan on preparing as much as I can over the next few days. The downside is that I’m going to be stuck with a lot of fluff and filler in my videos if Not Dune doesn’t… well I guess I can’t say “open his mouth”, can I? But if McPherson doesn’t even attempt to promote the match, then I won’t have a lot of material to work with in terms of the to and fro, back and forth, point and counterpoint that makes for a good lead up to a Hardcore match.
*Jay flags down a slim, blonde waitress as she passes by, reaching back into his inside pocket as he does so.*
Jay Omega: Excuse me, miss? Can I get a Lemmy? And this is for you.
*Omega pulls out a pair of $20 bills and drops them on the waitress’s tray. The pretty young blonde smiles a practiced smile, which becomes a genuine one when her eye catches the bill’s denomination and she exits the frame to fill the order with a bit of pep in her step.*
Jay Omega: I won’t take too much longer with this, I plan to enjoy myself this week. I just want to point out that when it comes to singles action, McPherson has a pretty good track record, though not many accomplishments to show for it, aside from a pitiful TeeVee title run, one or two sorta big names defeated, and not much else in his rookie year here in the Dub. I know there was some tag team gold involved, but this isn’t a tag match, so it’s not relevant. Whereas when it comes to singles action, I’m one of the best in the business. Tag team battles though… Well, let’s just say I’m glad this isn’t a tag match; I haven’t had a decent partner since Jeff Purse, and if you know your history, you know that’s saying something.
*Jay rolls his eyes with a wry twist of his mouth, then shrugs again.*
Jay Omega: Sammy has to know this is a big push for him. I mean, he’s not gonna win, but just being in a Hardcore match against Jay Omega is sure to raise his stock. I understand he was up against one of the lesser champions last week and didn’t fare so well. But fear not, Not Dune, because you’re gonna get yourself a fight that plays to your strengths, against a champion worthy of the title. It almost sounds like a dream come true, except when you remember the fight is a Hardcore match, and the man you’re up against is Jay Omega, it sounds more like a nightmare for anyone who isn’t a masochist. I honestly don’t know whether or not Sam is a masochist - what he and his husband get up to in their pleasure dungeon is their business - but it doesn’t really matter, because even if he is, he gonna learn that there’s definitely such thing as too much of a good thing. I’m talkin’ full-on sensory overload, ya dig?
*The waitress returns with Omega’s drink, smiles at him again, and resumes her rounds. The Omega Man raises the Jack & Coke to his lips and sips at it.*
Jay Omega: Okay that’s enough for now, I’ve got some drinking and gambling to do. Join us next time, when we’ll be talking more about the Hardcore Championship, because duh. Later y’all.
Jay raises his glass in toast, and the scene fades to black.*
Jay Omega: Abracadabra! Boom-shaka-day! I’m Violent Jay and I’m back like a vertebrae!
*No sooner are the words out of his mouth than Jay winces and shakes his head.*
Jay Omega: I’m sorry; I can’t believe I just quoted the Insane Clown Posse. Though it’s kind of fitting, since you’d have to be insane to think a clown like Sammy McPee and his posse have what it takes to beat me at all, let alone in a Hardcore title match. I have conclusively proven in the past that I am more than a capable contender in this division - hence my self-proclaimed title of “King of Pain” - I’m a Xor-damned juggernaut.
*Omega motions for the camera to follow him, then begins to wade through the human sea, heading toward a bank of slot machines.*
Jay Omega: After my last video, I figured since I was already near Vegas, why not hit up Sin City for a bit of a good time? After all, since Sam isn’t even close to the monster Dune was, I don’t need to worry all that much about how this match is gonna go, meaning I’ve got a fair bit of free time. And I thought to myself “why not kill some time at Slickie T’s casino?” but then I remembered that I don't know the name of said casino, and none of the people I’ve asked have been able to tell me, so the Em Gee Em Grand will have to do.
*Jay gives a hapless shrug and slides his posterior onto a padded stool in front of the last slot machine in the row.*
Jay Omega: I wanted to check around town, see if there was anybody who could give me a little insight about Sammy, and I asked a lot of people if there was anything they could tell me about McPherson, but all anyone said was “naarp” before they laughed and walked away. I think that’s supposed to be a reference to Sam’s communication disability, and I gotta say, it’s kinda rude to make fun of handicapped people like that.
*Omega makes a sour face and clucks his tongue.*
Jay Omega: Having done my due diligence, I’ve learned that Samuel is on the autism spectrum, and is also in a homosexual marriage with a weird German fetishist named Lord Raab. I’m not sure what’s up with the kid they have, but he’s not relevant. I mean, neither is any of what I just mentioned, I just wanted you all to know that I did actually do some research, unlike literally every opponent I have faced since my return at One. Will Samuel look into who I am and what I’ve done, or will he parrot all the same old shit those before him have spewed? Time will tell, if Sam ever gets around to promoting the match.
*The Omega Man digs a fistful of coins from the inside pocket of his red leather vest and begins loading up the slot machine in front of him.*
Jay Omega: See, I don’t think Sammy understands that a big part of Hardcore matches in the dub lies in preparing. And believe you me, I plan on preparing as much as I can over the next few days. The downside is that I’m going to be stuck with a lot of fluff and filler in my videos if Not Dune doesn’t… well I guess I can’t say “open his mouth”, can I? But if McPherson doesn’t even attempt to promote the match, then I won’t have a lot of material to work with in terms of the to and fro, back and forth, point and counterpoint that makes for a good lead up to a Hardcore match.
*Jay flags down a slim, blonde waitress as she passes by, reaching back into his inside pocket as he does so.*
Jay Omega: Excuse me, miss? Can I get a Lemmy? And this is for you.
*Omega pulls out a pair of $20 bills and drops them on the waitress’s tray. The pretty young blonde smiles a practiced smile, which becomes a genuine one when her eye catches the bill’s denomination and she exits the frame to fill the order with a bit of pep in her step.*
Jay Omega: I won’t take too much longer with this, I plan to enjoy myself this week. I just want to point out that when it comes to singles action, McPherson has a pretty good track record, though not many accomplishments to show for it, aside from a pitiful TeeVee title run, one or two sorta big names defeated, and not much else in his rookie year here in the Dub. I know there was some tag team gold involved, but this isn’t a tag match, so it’s not relevant. Whereas when it comes to singles action, I’m one of the best in the business. Tag team battles though… Well, let’s just say I’m glad this isn’t a tag match; I haven’t had a decent partner since Jeff Purse, and if you know your history, you know that’s saying something.
*Jay rolls his eyes with a wry twist of his mouth, then shrugs again.*
Jay Omega: Sammy has to know this is a big push for him. I mean, he’s not gonna win, but just being in a Hardcore match against Jay Omega is sure to raise his stock. I understand he was up against one of the lesser champions last week and didn’t fare so well. But fear not, Not Dune, because you’re gonna get yourself a fight that plays to your strengths, against a champion worthy of the title. It almost sounds like a dream come true, except when you remember the fight is a Hardcore match, and the man you’re up against is Jay Omega, it sounds more like a nightmare for anyone who isn’t a masochist. I honestly don’t know whether or not Sam is a masochist - what he and his husband get up to in their pleasure dungeon is their business - but it doesn’t really matter, because even if he is, he gonna learn that there’s definitely such thing as too much of a good thing. I’m talkin’ full-on sensory overload, ya dig?
*The waitress returns with Omega’s drink, smiles at him again, and resumes her rounds. The Omega Man raises the Jack & Coke to his lips and sips at it.*
Jay Omega: Okay that’s enough for now, I’ve got some drinking and gambling to do. Join us next time, when we’ll be talking more about the Hardcore Championship, because duh. Later y’all.
Jay raises his glass in toast, and the scene fades to black.*
