Post by 'Jazzy' John McCarty on Jan 20, 2019 23:17:11 GMT -5
PART ONE
John: Bullshit!
That's how John reacted when he heard the news. It was big news. So big in fact, that there's the World Record Egg, and then there's this news.
Corey Black announced that the tag titles were going on hiatus. They were disappearing.
Just one week after winning after them.
With the sudden departure of VBS, that only left two tag teams in WCF. The two unlikely combinations of Luiz and Lockhart, and Jazzy and Draven. With the tag team division in such a state, Mr. Black decided to scrap the titles.
Because of this, John had to defend his title just ONE week after winning them. This sort of shenanigan was acceptable for the TV title. But the tag titles? Nope. Not acceptable. It was unfair. But at least it's against Luiz and Lockhart and they've beaten them once, surely they can do it again. This was a waste of his time. This match cost him a possible hardcore title shot.
But he'd have to get over it and move on. Complaining was going to get him nowhere, and there was nothing he could do about it.
On the bright side, there was going to be a tag team league. 8 teams fighting it out for an ultimate prize! Any match you want at the next PPV! Of course, being the intelligent fellow that Jazzy is, he'd most likely go for the World Title if he won.
So at least there's that. But he's still pretty bummed about the tag titles leaving. So he went to the only place where he could cope with this news.
---
John: What's your special today?
Bartender: Tequila Mockingbird.
John: One of those please.
Of course we find John at the bar. The bar is a regular routine for our favourite jazz lover, usually with his friend, the Bartender. But with the Bartender somewhere in South Dakota, he had to make do with Bert.
Bert: How's it going Jazzy?
John: Not bad. Yourself?
Bert: Eh. Average.
John: Cool.
As Bert takes a peaceful sip of his Whiskey Business, he is interrupted by a wave of complaints.
John: I literally just won the titles and now after I defend after only JUST winning them, they're disappearing! Poof! Gone!
Bert: Okay...
Bert attempts to take another peaceful sip, only to spit it back out as John hits him with another wave of complaints.
John: And it's against those Luiz and Lockhart losers again! We already beat them once, why do we have to do it again?
Bert: Ugh. Don't stress. As you said, you've beaten them already, you should do it again with ease.
Bert then tries once more to peacefully sip his drink, only to be interrupted yet again by John.
John: It's just--
Bert: LET ME DRINK DAMMIT!
John almost immediately stopped talking. As soon as Bert finally took a sip of his drink, the fire in his eyes was extinguished.
Bert: So. You were saying?
John: I was saying how it's bulls hit that how the tag titles are retiring. It was a massive celebration for me, it was my first title, and now it's just been cut short. Now I have this stupid match where I have nothing to prove. It's stupid.
John takes a long sip of his drink.
Bert: Well where are you gonna get complaining?
John: ...nowhere.
Bert: So stop it. Why are you even here?
John: ...why not?
Bert: You're going to see Judge Judy again tomorrow?
John: Oh crap!
All of a sudden, John leaps out of his bar stool, finishes the rest of his drink with one mouthful and bursts out of the bar to get some good night's sleep.
PART TWO
Judy: Welcome back, Mr. McCarty and Mr. Draven, I see you're back for an update.
John: Yes ma'am.
Judy: Well how did you guys go at One?
John: Did you not hear?
Matt: We won!
Judy: Delightful!
John then points to the electronic anklets on his ankle.
John: So can we take these stupid things off now? We won, we worked as a team, surely that's enough?
Judy: Hmm...
John: I don't think these even work! Matt was somewhere else when I was in the bar last night!
Matt: Nope, I was there. Just watchin'.
John: Oh.
The famous judge sits thinks for a bit before coming up with a response.
Judy: Yeah, one week isn't really long enough for a punishment. Plus, John didn't even notice that Matt was next to him last night!
Matt gave him a cold glare. One that translated to 'You're dead to me'.
Judy: So, new punishment! What's your match this week at Slam?
John: A pointless tag title match against Luiz and Lockhart.
Judy: Perfect! Do you know your match after that?
Matt: Most likely our first tag league match.
Judy: Ooh! A tag league! Sounds intriguing! I should really start watching this WCF...
John: You really should.
Judy: Shut your mouth, Mr McCarty. Only speak when spoken to.
John: Yes ma'am.
Judy: Really? You spoke again! I feel like we went over this last time...
John: ...
Judy: Perfect. Anyways, here is your new verdict! If you win this tag title rematch, then the bracelets are gone! If you lose, then you keep them on. And the only way you get them off? Winning the tag league!
Matt: But...
Judy: No buts, no cuts, no coconuts, Mr Draven. Dismissed!
---
John: And then Matt talked to me afterwards, he went 'all your fault, didn't notice me, blah blah, I'm an idiot...'
Matt: Right here.
John: I know. *sarcastically* You should've told me that last night!
Matt: Shut up.
Bert: Jeez, man. That's tough. At least that finally brings some point into this match though.
It's really no surprise that we find Jazzy John in the bar with his faithful acquaintance Bert Tender. And of course, Matt Draven too.
They were all drinking the daily special, Fee Fi Fo Rum.
Bert: That is tough.
John: Yeah, not what I wanted to happen. At all.
John quickly sculls his drink before ordering the other rum special, Dum Diddly Rum.
Bert: That's gotta be like, worst case scenario.
John: Yep.
Bert: Well, at least you got friends to guide you through this tough time.
John: ...what are you talking about?
Bert: ...hm?
John: My only friend is in South Dakota right now.
Bert is hurt.
Bert: You're joking, right?
John: No... I feel like I told you this already.
Bert: ...fuck you.
Bert stormed out of the bar, leaving John behind.
John: Was it something I said?
Matt then took a sip of his second Jet Lager.
Matt: You gone done did it now.
PART THREE
We now cut live to the Jazzy press conference.
Reporter: Look, let's just get straight to the point. Rematch for the tag titles against Luiz and Lockhart. Thoughts?
John: It's just a stupid, pointless rematch. No point whatsoever. I don't have to prove myself against Luiz and Lockhart. Who cares if it's the last match before the tag titles are leaving. Just get on with this stupid tag league or whatever.
Reporter: I was aiming towards the actual competitors, not the match itself...
John: You doubting my answers!?
Reporter: But...
John storms out. Quickly followed by Matt. Because he had to.
Something was really up with John. He just didn't know what it was.
John: Bullshit!
That's how John reacted when he heard the news. It was big news. So big in fact, that there's the World Record Egg, and then there's this news.
Corey Black announced that the tag titles were going on hiatus. They were disappearing.
Just one week after winning after them.
With the sudden departure of VBS, that only left two tag teams in WCF. The two unlikely combinations of Luiz and Lockhart, and Jazzy and Draven. With the tag team division in such a state, Mr. Black decided to scrap the titles.
Because of this, John had to defend his title just ONE week after winning them. This sort of shenanigan was acceptable for the TV title. But the tag titles? Nope. Not acceptable. It was unfair. But at least it's against Luiz and Lockhart and they've beaten them once, surely they can do it again. This was a waste of his time. This match cost him a possible hardcore title shot.
But he'd have to get over it and move on. Complaining was going to get him nowhere, and there was nothing he could do about it.
On the bright side, there was going to be a tag team league. 8 teams fighting it out for an ultimate prize! Any match you want at the next PPV! Of course, being the intelligent fellow that Jazzy is, he'd most likely go for the World Title if he won.
So at least there's that. But he's still pretty bummed about the tag titles leaving. So he went to the only place where he could cope with this news.
---
John: What's your special today?
Bartender: Tequila Mockingbird.
John: One of those please.
Of course we find John at the bar. The bar is a regular routine for our favourite jazz lover, usually with his friend, the Bartender. But with the Bartender somewhere in South Dakota, he had to make do with Bert.
Bert: How's it going Jazzy?
John: Not bad. Yourself?
Bert: Eh. Average.
John: Cool.
As Bert takes a peaceful sip of his Whiskey Business, he is interrupted by a wave of complaints.
John: I literally just won the titles and now after I defend after only JUST winning them, they're disappearing! Poof! Gone!
Bert: Okay...
Bert attempts to take another peaceful sip, only to spit it back out as John hits him with another wave of complaints.
John: And it's against those Luiz and Lockhart losers again! We already beat them once, why do we have to do it again?
Bert: Ugh. Don't stress. As you said, you've beaten them already, you should do it again with ease.
Bert then tries once more to peacefully sip his drink, only to be interrupted yet again by John.
John: It's just--
Bert: LET ME DRINK DAMMIT!
John almost immediately stopped talking. As soon as Bert finally took a sip of his drink, the fire in his eyes was extinguished.
Bert: So. You were saying?
John: I was saying how it's bulls hit that how the tag titles are retiring. It was a massive celebration for me, it was my first title, and now it's just been cut short. Now I have this stupid match where I have nothing to prove. It's stupid.
John takes a long sip of his drink.
Bert: Well where are you gonna get complaining?
John: ...nowhere.
Bert: So stop it. Why are you even here?
John: ...why not?
Bert: You're going to see Judge Judy again tomorrow?
John: Oh crap!
All of a sudden, John leaps out of his bar stool, finishes the rest of his drink with one mouthful and bursts out of the bar to get some good night's sleep.
PART TWO
Judy: Welcome back, Mr. McCarty and Mr. Draven, I see you're back for an update.
John: Yes ma'am.
Judy: Well how did you guys go at One?
John: Did you not hear?
Matt: We won!
Judy: Delightful!
John then points to the electronic anklets on his ankle.
John: So can we take these stupid things off now? We won, we worked as a team, surely that's enough?
Judy: Hmm...
John: I don't think these even work! Matt was somewhere else when I was in the bar last night!
Matt: Nope, I was there. Just watchin'.
John: Oh.
The famous judge sits thinks for a bit before coming up with a response.
Judy: Yeah, one week isn't really long enough for a punishment. Plus, John didn't even notice that Matt was next to him last night!
Matt gave him a cold glare. One that translated to 'You're dead to me'.
Judy: So, new punishment! What's your match this week at Slam?
John: A pointless tag title match against Luiz and Lockhart.
Judy: Perfect! Do you know your match after that?
Matt: Most likely our first tag league match.
Judy: Ooh! A tag league! Sounds intriguing! I should really start watching this WCF...
John: You really should.
Judy: Shut your mouth, Mr McCarty. Only speak when spoken to.
John: Yes ma'am.
Judy: Really? You spoke again! I feel like we went over this last time...
John: ...
Judy: Perfect. Anyways, here is your new verdict! If you win this tag title rematch, then the bracelets are gone! If you lose, then you keep them on. And the only way you get them off? Winning the tag league!
Matt: But...
Judy: No buts, no cuts, no coconuts, Mr Draven. Dismissed!
---
John: And then Matt talked to me afterwards, he went 'all your fault, didn't notice me, blah blah, I'm an idiot...'
Matt: Right here.
John: I know. *sarcastically* You should've told me that last night!
Matt: Shut up.
Bert: Jeez, man. That's tough. At least that finally brings some point into this match though.
It's really no surprise that we find Jazzy John in the bar with his faithful acquaintance Bert Tender. And of course, Matt Draven too.
They were all drinking the daily special, Fee Fi Fo Rum.
Bert: That is tough.
John: Yeah, not what I wanted to happen. At all.
John quickly sculls his drink before ordering the other rum special, Dum Diddly Rum.
Bert: That's gotta be like, worst case scenario.
John: Yep.
Bert: Well, at least you got friends to guide you through this tough time.
John: ...what are you talking about?
Bert: ...hm?
John: My only friend is in South Dakota right now.
Bert is hurt.
Bert: You're joking, right?
John: No... I feel like I told you this already.
Bert: ...fuck you.
Bert stormed out of the bar, leaving John behind.
John: Was it something I said?
Matt then took a sip of his second Jet Lager.
Matt: You gone done did it now.
PART THREE
We now cut live to the Jazzy press conference.
Reporter: Look, let's just get straight to the point. Rematch for the tag titles against Luiz and Lockhart. Thoughts?
John: It's just a stupid, pointless rematch. No point whatsoever. I don't have to prove myself against Luiz and Lockhart. Who cares if it's the last match before the tag titles are leaving. Just get on with this stupid tag league or whatever.
Reporter: I was aiming towards the actual competitors, not the match itself...
John: You doubting my answers!?
Reporter: But...
John storms out. Quickly followed by Matt. Because he had to.
Something was really up with John. He just didn't know what it was.
