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Post by Matt Draven on Dec 10, 2018 0:29:24 GMT -5
Hey there everybody, just fishing for some feedback. This time though I want to be a bit more specific since this one is really bad. So maybe this really isn't much of a feedback seeking deal than a survey? Either way, feel free to let me know what you all think! Thanks! A) Is it enjoyable in the slightest? B) Should I continue with the first person or switch back to the third person style? C) How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Deja Vu
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Post by 'Jazzy' John McCarty on Dec 10, 2018 4:46:54 GMT -5
DEJA VU I'VE JUST BEEN IN THIS PLACE BEFORE HIGHER THAN THE STREETS AND I KNOW ITS MY TIME TO GO!
A) I really like this RP. Nice work.
B) Whatever you feel is right
C) As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood
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Post by Matt Draven on Dec 13, 2018 22:31:51 GMT -5
I can't help but feel like I missed a fantastic opportunity here. Seriously though, thanks for the giving me some feedback. I enjoy writing in more of that first person style for Draven as if gets me more into his mindset. However, I am admittedly a bit difficult(?) to follow sometimes when it comes to following a train of thought. Maybe not difficult....I don't know. I feel like there is a word that describes it but as of now it completely eludes me.
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Post by Vincent Augustine on Dec 16, 2018 23:42:40 GMT -5
A) Is it enjoyable in the slightest?
It was enjoyable, some more expansion on some of the later scenes would help a bit. Your dialogue is short, and the inner dialogue of the first person was a bit much at points. But overall it was enjoyable.
B) Should I continue with the first person or switch back to the third person style?
I have been known to switch back and forth. For me it's based on the mood the RP I am writing puts me in. so long story short do what you think is best for the RP.
C) How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A woodchuck would chuck all the wood it could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
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Post by Matt Draven on Dec 17, 2018 0:54:16 GMT -5
Thanks for the feedback! At least this one is worth asking for some. Latest one? Not so much lol A) I'm pretty terrible with dialogue. Writing it or reading it, I have a tendency to zone and move on when it comes to a wall of dialogue. SO I try to keep it short and sweet or I feel like I end up losing the point. As far as the inner monologues go, that is also something that needs a fair amount of work. I meant for it to be a bit overboard to an extent, but I feel like I could have done better sperating the monologues from the actions. Might not be what you meant and ends up being an personal obersvation. As long as it was enjoyable! B) I enjoy writing Draven in the first person, but I may switch to third next Slam to see the difference. There will be more expressions but less following his train of thought I think. I shall find out then! C)
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